Most of us realize that the conditions, circumstances and events of our life contain lessons for us to learn in some way because they act on us to grow and develop us by how we interact and react to them. This usually starts with our initial conditioning which lays the ground work for setting what becomes our “life theme” into motion. We’re born into a family dynamic where thematic ideas of some form are always being acted out and we’re a natural part of it, so we get “trained” to the same mental and emotional model, out of which we continue to create and develop through our continued life experiences, all of which are systematically produced out of our mental paradigm. Though we’re born into the world with the personality inherent in our body (which resonates with our soul), how our personality is developed through our family dynamic forms the attitude, perspective, and emotions that we most frequently engage in through the role we take on in a larger dynamic. Our mental paradigm consists primarily of values, core beliefs, preferences, temperament and attitudes, memories (both of this life and previous lives), and the perception born out of our most frequent emotional states.
Our theme emerges fairly early in life (we come into life with it) as what is in the early stages of becoming our “issues” through the events of our life that seemingly produce them. As we continue through life, always perceiving and creating out of our mental model, we continue to live out of the same type of life themes consistently, and we always seem to be dealing with the same type of people and “issues”. Our life theme usually involves something to do with – not being loved, not being wanted, not being good enough, not being worthy, feeling disappointed, betrayed, always feeling rejected, and so on – and form the basis for how we interpret life in order to tell our story about it. Our story becomes the internal dialogue in our head as our very thoughts that are always talking to us “out of the attitude of this story” by how it describes, explains, and justifies things. So, we can safely say that while we imagine there are “many” lessons for us in life, if we learn to examine our life experiences we’ll probably realize that there’s really only one “main lesson” we’re here to learn, and all the other seemingly “smaller” lessons that are pertinent to an actual relationship or situation are of the same theme or idea, and simply played out in a somewhat different way. And while the elements of our story may change based on the people, conditions, and circumstances we play them out in, the underlying theme as a “feeling” always remains consistent. The feeling that’s being expressed in producing an experience, acts to stimulate that same feeling in everyone else and is the “organizing factor” in a situation that makes it “about” that feeling, which acts to reproduce, multiply, and amplify it, and serves as the vehicle to give us more of that same feeling. What we put out in terms of feelings, emotions, and actions, we multiply and receive back as our life experiences.
Our soul is the creative component in our life, and unlike our conscious mind, which is always working off of surface appearances and focused almost exclusively on the other people involved, creates out of feeling states that are designed to produce and create an actual experience in the outer reality that reflects back those feelings. In this way, through projecting unconscious aspects of ourselves onto others and our environment where we can “see them”, it allows us to know what’s inside of us that were not directly aware of that acting to create not only our life experiences, but also ourselves by way of our life experiences. How we interpret the events of our life to give them meaning is a product of our mental paradigm, which is the “structure of our mind” as a vibratory frequency that consistently reorganizes the elements inherent in any situation to tell a consistent type of story. By recognizing this, we can come to realize the unconscious aspects at play in our life, and through awareness, we can begin working with them in an intentional manner.
In looking at what we call our “life lessons”, and asking ourselves, “what is this teaching me”, we can start by asking “how did I play a role in creating this or how did I participate in its creation”? People, events and situations are always acting on us to stimulate us, and as we enter into relationship with them an interaction takes place, or we become involved and begin playing a role in a situation or dynamic, and it’s always acting to make us feel a certain way. It serves to bring out certain aspects of our character in response to it. All interaction with the outer world in any form acts to stimulate internal equivalents as the qualities and traits necessary to maneuver it, to exist within it in an appropriate and beneficial manner.
The natural function of evolution works through the law of cause and effect which naturally produces adaptation, where the outer is always stimulating the inner in order to bring out the same qualities necessary to survive, interact, and exist within it. This stimulus reformulates us in terms of what part of our character becomes utilized, exercised, and thereby developed into a dominant part of our character. The only real purpose to life (material world) is to provide the stage and means for us to develop ourselves by way of it. The relationship, situations, and circumstances in and of themselves are not the goal. The only goal for the soul is “who” and “how” we become in relationship with them. All of life is a relationship with ourselves in everything else, and naturally serves to develop us by way of it. Through others and the outer events of our life, we come to know who we are. We can clearly witness and observe ourselves and as a result, come to know and understand ourselves. We do this by learning introspection. By turning our attention inward to what’s happening inside of us because of the outer events, and just being present with ourselves in the midst of things. By recognizing what a person or situation is acting to bring out in us, we can know what they or it will act to naturally develop in us. As parts of us are brought to the foreground, we can clearly see them and also use it as an opportunity to work with that part of ourselves in a conscious and intentional manner.
All of life sets the stage for self-development of some form through how we relate to it. The relationship between the inner and the outer is one of active (masculine) and passive (feminine) components that act to “cause” an “effect” in the other in order to bring their shared qualities into existence as a joint experience or shared reality. There’s always a form of equilibrium going on between the inner and the outer, bringing out in us the qualities present in the outer world that we exist and interact with as a means of surviving and thriving. Through this cause and effect relationship with the people and events of our life, we grow and develop ourselves in very distinct ways, most of which is done in an automatic and unaware fashion.
When looking at the lesson in something, never make the mistake of asking another or seeking any form of psychic consulting. No one else knows your answers, only you know the true significance of your life by simply learning how to become aware of yourself. By simply relaxing your body and calming your mind, removing your attention from the outer world, and turning it fully inward, and notice what’s happening inside of you in response to it. What are you feeling? What thoughts are running through your mind? What memories are you associating to it? What part of your character is it bringing out in you? What issues are coming up? What fears or challenges is it bringing you face to face with? What are your concerns? What choices and decisions seem related to it? What will you have to face and deal with because of it? What aspects of yourself will you have to use and deal with in overcoming it? What are you going to have to accept and adjust to? What kind of new realization is it showing you that you wasn’t previously aware of? What insights come out of it? What type of things are you learning because of it? What capacity is it allowing or forcing you to work with in a deliberate manner (forgiveness, compassion, acceptance, self-trust, etc.)? When you look at it from a perspective of what it’s actually causing as opposed to what it “should be” causing (a belief), or what someone else thinks it’s causing for you, then you know without a doubt what lesson it’s providing for you.
What you always have to keep in mind is that the souls only purpose in the material world is to use it as a neutral tool or objective set of circumstances ideal to “grow and develop its character” in very specific ways. The material component itself is never of any real significance, because it’s always temporary and mortal in nature. The soul is eternal and immortal and transcends the body as the mind of the body, which forms the character and identity that gives life to the body. So it’s only how we’re using situations to develop our character that matters in the ultimate scheme of things. It’s all about “who we become because of our life experiences”.
For example: Losing your house through a bank repo, has nothing to do with the house, your financial condition, or credit rating, it has to do with how you respond to it. How you experience it mentally and emotionally – freaking out, scared, insecure, humiliated, stressed out and feeling devastated, problems in your relationships because of it, social outcast, drop in class, and so on. Who do you become through that event? What it not only brings up for you to see about yourself and others, forcing you to choose how you’re going to deal with it, but also what insights come from the experience itself as showing you the significance of material possessions and how you form your identity around them, and the clear fact that they can be taken away, lost, or destroyed, and are temporary in nature. It can bring great realization around the ego in terms of how you build your identity around your possessions and social position that becomes shattered because of the loss of that possession or position. When we attach our identity to other people and things, we’re always vulnerable and building our sense of self around an illusion that even in the best scenario, dies with the body, and keeps the soul “attached” to the material realm, unable to ascend to higher dimensions. Whatever we build our identity around, we bond with, equate ourselves to, and exist fully in that realm.
So in looking to understand the lesson inherent in situations, simply examine yourself in response to it, and realize that whatever it brings out in you to encounter and deal with as a result, whatever limitations and inhibitions it calls forth, is what provides the learning experience involved. As you deal with it, and how you choose to respond to it, is shaping and developing you by way of it . . . .
Integrative Health Consultant and Spiritual Mentor
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