Self-Awareness and how we Become Who we are – Realizing the Nature of Relationships and Exercising the Power of Choice to Self-Create

We’re all in the process of “becoming” in life through a constant interaction as an outer stimulus that causes an inner response of a like nature. From the time were born, we’re subject to a constant form of outer stimulation from others, our environment, and the conditions of our life circumstances that begin shaping us as a person. An outer stimulation awakens in us the same type of qualities that we’re being stimulated with, bringing them out in us where we form an interaction based on the shared qualities. As we embody the same type of qualities as the person we’re interacting with, we establish a relationship with them that expresses the shared qualities as a dynamic and we create an “experience” of ourselves by way of that dynamic. As we create an experience of something through our relationship with it, we simultaneously “sense ourselves” within that experience as a certain kind of person playing a certain type of role, and we become identified with our experiences as a result.

Through this natural and fundamental process of cause and effect, we are initially developed through an unconscious state of our formative conditioning to be like the people we live in relationship with and the dynamics we play an active part in. We are all subject to the family dynamics we play a role in as the initial means of developing our personality and identity. By the time we’re in our mid to late 20’s, our personality and identity are firmly established and we begin the process of simply living out of and repeating the same patterns, behavioral dynamics, and type of relationships through a natural unconscious state the rest of our lives. This is what’s often referred to as the “first birth”, which sets the basis for transformation as being “reborn” through our “second birth” which is undertaken with full awareness of what’s happening and why.

It’s by becoming aware of the natural process of self-development that we can begin working with it consciously to create ourselves in a deliberate and intentional way. We’re all born into this world with a Higher Conscious, subconscious and self-conscious mind and the capacity to become self-determined by exercising our ability to self-realize, discriminate, reason, and choose how we’re going to respond, and then willfully act out that decision while resisting habitual tendencies that come naturally to us as automatic responses. This powerful ability to self-create starts with awareness of the laws operating in an situation as the means of creating, becoming aware of what’s happening inside of you at any given moment based on how you’re being stimulated, and the type of person you become through your immediate and natural reactions as a result. All of life results from a dynamic series of relationships and how they all work together in a synchronistic and accumulative fashion to create a stable and consistent idea.

       The most fundamental laws that are always operating between the inner and outer world, between the masculine and feminine energies, and between us and others, are the Law of Cause and Effect and the Law of Vibration. The Law of Cause and Effect demonstrates that all actions produce and equal or greater reaction of the same nature. This is very easy to realize through self-observation by noticing that whatever emotion is being outwardly expressed by another acts to stimulate you with that same emotion. It serves to alter your “state” to match theirs and brings out in you the same emotional qualities where you become the “same as” or “just like” the person stimulating you. You then form an immediate reaction by either becoming congruent with them or by taking on the complementary aspect of the same idea and opposing them.

Anger for example, when being actively projected towards you will cause you to either become just as angry and aggressive or more, or it’ll cause you to feel scared, and back down or feel overwhelmed. If you become just as angry, it escalates and intensifies, if you back down and become subordinate, it diffuses and neutralizes it. Whatever your reaction you become “that type of person” through the experience of yourself it creates. Whatever the nature of the energy being openly expressed by another within near proximity of you, acts to enter into and transform you to that same state. Likewise, if we’re the one who is actively expressing an emotion we serve to transform everyone around us who’s in a different state to that same emotion. The active component in one always acts to awaken and seed its passive, latent component in another bringing it into an active state.

The Law of Vibration works in precisely the same way through sympathetic resonance, where one vibration as an emotional mental state, vibrates that same state in another through sympathetic induction where it’s literally projected outward by one person towards another person as a form of energetic transmission, where it literally enters into their body, vibrating that same state in them, amplifying and multiplying it, where they then form coherence and begin vibrating in harmony with each other as a “shared state”. Once the shared state is achieved they co-create a congruent experience together as a joint reality. The Law of Vibration always works through the complementary Law of Correspondences and Analogies where “like always begets more of what’s like itself” as a form of propagation.

       In this very sense of what operates as an energetic interaction, we are constantly being influenced by everyone around us to be like them. To take on the same emotional state, attitude, type of thoughts, and behaviors as they openly demonstrate and outwardly express through their very being. We also act on others in exactly the same way to influence them to be more like us. Vibration as a certain type and kind of energy always acts to generate more of what’s of the same nature as it is, just as we’re only capable of creating as an expression of our mental state as a form of offspring. All of life and our self is the result of how we enter into relationship with everyone and everything else. In every moment we’re being stimulated somehow, and either unconsciously reacting or consciously deciding who and how we’re going to become in relationship with it. This takes place unconsciously or without our direct awareness of what’s happening as a natural reaction, or consciously through self-awareness as a clear and calculated decision that’s not based on how we’re being stimulated, but rather on our ability to resist it, not let it enter into us and affect us, and from an independent response based on who we decide to be instead.

The first step of transformation becomes the awareness of what’s actually happening, and the second step as the ability to prevent the emotional stimulus from entering into our being and body, and neutralizing it instead. We can keep other people’s emotions and projections from affecting us through the simple awareness of them and by resisting the tendency to react in a like manner. By controlling our own reaction, we counteract, neutralize, and deflect their energy. We bring it into a balanced state rather than an unbalanced state by serving to amplify and increase it.  Once we acquire the ability to prevent other people’s energy from entering into and affecting us, we exist in a form of inner calm where we realize that we actually have a choice as to how we’re going to respond or if we’re going to respond. In some cases we may choose to simply withdraw all of our life-giving energy that only acts to empower it and simply ignore it. Whatever we react to we give life in us and through us, and whatever we ignore and withdraw our attention from, dies to us. We don’t let it become a part of us and determine us as a result.

In this spacious moment of inner calm produced by deflection and no reaction, we can ask ourselves . . . who do I want to be right now? What kind of person do I choose to be in relationship to this person or event? Am I going to allow this person to control me and determine who I am as a result? Do I like how this person is being and do I want to become like them? We can self-reflect in the moment and make a conscious decision as to how we’re going to respond in a thoughtful and intentional manner. And through our controlled and deliberate response based on a calculated decision, we can become self-determined and the master of our own fate.

       Whenever we maintain a calm and undisturbed state in the presence of active emotional expression, we act to neutralize it, and ultimately calm them down by influencing them to match our state. In every interaction as a transmission and reception of energy there’s always a dominant (active and projective) and subordinate (passive and receptive) aspect. Anytime we allow another person’s energy to enter into us and produce an effect, we are the passive receptor in the equation. One person is always the one producing an equal effect in the other, especially when both people are unconscious as to what’s really going on and acting “naturally” by reacting in a like manner to whatever they’re being stimulated with. Whenever we act to “give somebody back their own medicine” or what “they deserve”, we’re actually allowing them to control us and we have to become “just like them” in order to do it. This means that they act “on us” to transform us to be the same type of person as they are.

Whoever is fully conscious and self-aware in the situation and not actively taking on the other persons energy, exercises the ability to dominate and manage the state of the other by bringing their emotions into a neutral state and then intentionally employing emotions as the means of expressing that influences them to match your emotions. The most fundamental form of self-mastery and conscious creation comes by neutralizing yourself to other people’s emotions and attitudes while simultaneously learning how to employ and direct them to create your experiences, or joint experiences, in a deliberate way by skillfully managing the state of others and eliciting a state of cooperation and participation. The only true power in the ultimate sense is being able to control and utilize your own will and the will of others to participate in creating the same type of reality.

This same creative process as the operation of fundamental laws is also how we create ourselves in an intentional manner by associating with people who openly display the qualities and attitudes we want to acquire and develop in ourselves. By only being willing to enter into and maintain relationships with those we admire, respect, adore, honor, and revere, then allowing them to naturally influence us by bringing out those same qualities in us in a natural and unguarded way.  We work by way of natural laws by consciously choosing relationships with others who serve to stimulate positive emotions that bring out the best in us and the parts of ourselves we want to actively develop. Allow yourself to always notice what “part of yourself” shows up in your different relationships and “who you become” in that relationship as a result. Then simply ask yourself . . . “do I like who I become”? Is this how a want to be? Cultivate and nurture only those relationships that bring out the best in you, where you really like who you are because of them.

Dr. Linda Gadbois

Spiritual Mentor and Personal Transformation Consultant

 

Energetic Imprinting, Conditioning, and Dynamics – Liberating your Soul from the Unconscious Tendencies that Bind You

Our soul is comprised of essence as memory that comes from the relationship it forms with the body, which resides in a predominately unconscious state, and how they work together to create experiences of reality. The subconscious mind of the body also runs off of memory which it uses to form repetitive and habitual patterns that produce a consistent and congruent version of reality. What we call “reality” is produced as both an inner imagining and the outer complementary correspondence of what’s imagined internally. The subconscious is passive and receptive in nature, meaning it has no will or ability to discriminate and make decisions of its own based on reasoning, and simply takes in ideas from the active, willful mind as suggestions that it forms into thoughts as a sensory reality in the faculty of the imagination, which is where all reality as an outer projection is born and fabricated out of essence (astral light or photons).

The soul bonds to the body through the memory inherent in its DNA, which is of a similar and compatible nature, capable of providing the soul with the corresponding reality of its memories so it can continue fashioning itself by way of the experiences the reality provides. The memory, as the essence of the soul resonates with the ancestral memory of the body, and enters into it as an active force that animates and structures it, giving it life as the ideal home or material vehicle for the soul. All levels of consciousness exist on a hierarchical plane, where the lower is always subordinate (passive) to the higher one (active), and provides the form or shell for the higher force to inhabit, bringing it into an active state of expression and creation within the material realm. This hierarchy of consciousness exists as spherical fields nested within greater and smaller fields, all of which vibrate within the same frequency as a range of vibration and lend themselves to the creation of the same type of nature and level of reality.

This level of consciousness that acts to naturally produce and actively play a role in a common (shared) reality forms a whole or singular dimension that’s structured by a dynamic interweaving of an infinite number of vibrations, all with a common core of information that act as their building blocks. All reality in this sense exists within an even greater reality as a unified dimension, where unique formulas of common elements are shaped by the individual mind to form an original version as a variation or possibility. The archetypal world of pure consciousness exists as archetypes in their potential state as what we might call generic templates. Archetypes manifest by undergoing a process of adaptation and reformulation that modify and reshape them into a new form that’s still indigenous to the greater, shared reality in which they’re birthed, maintained, and used to express at the individual level of self-creation.

        As the soul resonates and bonds with the body, forming coherence as a harmonious vibration that creates in a spontaneous manner, it acts first to reform and establish the psychological patterns of its memory as a predisposition, temperament, general attitude, and tendencies that make up its personality, then those same patterns as dynamics are played out through its conditioning, because the memories of the parents are of the same nature and dynamics of the soul, as a form of “group memory” (soul groups). As these dynamics continue to play out and we have a role in them, we’re further trained and conditioned to those dynamics as behavioral patterns that have a theme as a story-line inherent in them.

In an attempt to make sense of the events of our life and the dynamics that we’re actively a part of creating, we begin telling ourselves a story about them. This story makes them mean something, and it’s the meaning as a story-line that we become imprinted with as a dominate and habitual tendency. This means we readily perceive it and participate in it in an unconscious manner without any direct awareness or realization of what we’re doing and why. We don’t realize that all of our experiences are subjective in nature, meaning we’re the ones that are creating them by how we interpret events of our life to give them meaning, and so we imagine that life is happening “to us” in an objective manner and we have no control or say so about it. Yet, though we can’t control the events of our life (necessarily), we absolutely have full control over how we choose to experience them.

What we call reality comes as a cohesive series of events that take place outside of and around us, and how we “experience” those events, while they may seem like two separate ideas, are in fact correlated correspondences of each other. The outer, objective, abstract, and neutral reality that’s common to all of us as a form of shared or mass consciousness provides the stage and the means for organizing it in such a way that we experience it in a consistent manner through the story we’re always in the process of telling ourselves about it. This story as an interpretation makes it into a personalized version of reality as our own creation that we’re then subject to (it determines us).

        We reshape our outer reality based on personal feelings, tastes, and beliefs. We view it through the paradigm of our mind (soul memory) and we reformulate it through our emotional state to match it. We reshape it to be of the same nature as we are where it lends itself in a complementary manner to naturally tell our story about it. As we create our experiences of things, we simultaneously get a sense of ourselves through those experiences, identifying with our own creation, and shaping ourselves through the memory it provides that becomes a part of both the subconscious mind of the body and our soul’s essence. We’re constantly forming and in-forming ourselves through the experience of our own creation, by taking what exists as a “universal idea” and using it as a thematic template for creating a “personal version”.

Our formative conditioned patterns are established through the “theme” as a life dynamic that’s being played out all around us that we play a role in and are an inherent part of. While we play a certain role in a greater dynamic as a child, we are in fact “imprinted” (unconsciously programmed) with the “whole dynamic” and every role that’s required in order to act it out. Whatever role we’re not actively playing in the dynamic is being demonstrated for us by others, and we actively engage in it through our relationship with the greater whole and our constant interaction and participation in it. These dynamics are created in several areas of our life at the same time, based on the same general theme being played out in different ways through different types of relationships. How we’re treated as a child in a situation, is of the “same nature” (behavioral dynamic) as how our parents treated each other, our siblings, relatives, and all other relationships they maintained and participated in, where only the roles they actively played changed.

The relationship between our parents (or guardians) that’s being openly demonstrated and modeled for us in the normal sense, becomes the same “relationship dynamic” we play out in some form or another in our adult romantic relationships. As a general rule, we typically become one of our parents and marry the other one. Whichever parent we identify with most and align with in terms of playing the same role, we play most often, yet we unconsciously play all roles in the dynamic as a general theme. For example, if one parent is always criticizing the other one, putting them down and sarcastically belittling them somehow, and the one being criticized responds with a particular behavior (lashing out, retaliating, equally belittling, being hurt, crying, outraged, angry, or running away, etc.), that same parent will have a tendency to treat the children the same way as a general rule, and they’ll respond in a like manner to how the other parent responded (according to what’s being modeled for them to imitate). Whatever we witness going on around us is being modeled for us, and as children we tend to learn by imitating whatever’s being demonstrated for us as a relationship and means of “appropriately” responding. The same “pattern” as an overall theme is being played out in a variety of ways with every relationship within the family, based on the theme both parents share in common and the behavioral dynamic that naturally issues forth from it.

        If we’re used to being criticized as children, we’re attracted to (naturally respond) and seek out relationships of various kinds where that same dynamic is shared and can be played out faithfully in a natural and automatic fashion. We initiate and provoke the pattern, regardless of what role we play just through the nature of our interaction. For this reason, because it’s unconscious, we often have no idea we’re doing it, and so we imagine we’re innocent and once again it’s being done to us, instead of realizing that we’re the perpetrator. If we’re used to being criticized, we have a tendency to also criticize others (though we may view it different), and naturally produce the behavior that warrants criticism. We can do this intentionally through a reaction to being criticized ourselves, or as a way of retaliating and getting even by switching roles. Even when we respond by turning inward, crying and becoming meek, we’re lashing out in our thoughts and criticizing or despising them to the same degree or more that we feel criticized. Yet often, when we’re doing the criticizing, we don’t see it that way, but rather as just giving them back their own medicine or giving them “constructive feedback”. We feel justified to respond in a like manner, usually without gaining any recognition whatsoever of the overall pattern that’s being played out at the unconscious level.

When something exists in us at the unconscious level, which all of our automatic, habitual behaviors do, they serve to form the very basis of our perception, our emotional states, and what memories we use to interpret things to give them meaning through the story we tell ourselves about it that describes, explains, or justifies it, forming how we experience it. Because they’re a normal and cohesive part of our perception and way of experiencing reality, we believe they’re real in the objective sense and we have no ability to change them, because we don’t realize that we’re actively participating in creating them. We don’t know how to see something different because we’ve perceived things that way our whole life and it comes natural to us. The experience is spontaneous and comes in a natural and automatic fashion without any awareness of choice or will being involved.

So the first challenge is to be able to become aware of our own tendencies by recognizing the behavioral dynamics as a theme that we’re playing a natural part in that’s of the same dynamic that we grew up with. This can often come with us realizing we’re having a tendency to say the same thing and act in the same manner as our parents did. By developing our ability to self-reflect and focus on our own feelings and motivation, instead of always focusing on the other person, while recognizing what memories are being triggered through association that are of the same nature, we can begin realizing what exists in us as a tendency that we’re either unaware of, or only partially aware of. We have a natural tendency to always focus on the “other person” by thinking almost exclusively about how they’re being and what they’re doing “to us”, then our whole approach becomes how to “change them” so they’ll stop doing it. Yet even if they were to stop doing it, we would act out in an unconscious fashion to provoke it in them as a way of keeping the pattern going because we don’t know how to play a part in another type of relationship.

       This is because we’re not only conditioned with one role or position in a pattern or idea, but with the “whole pattern” and behavioral dynamic of which we can play every role, whether through an aware state or an unaware one, because every role in that dynamic was constantly being modeled for us, and we were either the one doing it or watching it be done. Whatever role we identified most strongly with we continue playing out with awareness, and whichever one we didn’t, we continue playing out unconsciously. Because we build our identity out of the experiences this dynamic provides, we not only keep it going in an automatic fashion, but when we get into situations where it’s not being cooperatively played out, we don’t know how to act or what to do, and so we unconsciously initiate it and provoke the proper reaction in others that sets it into motion. Once it’s set into motion and begins playing out, we’re in our element, and we have an automatic “script” where we know exactly how to be, what to say, and what to do.

When we live our life out of perceptions of our conditioning, we live from a primarily unconscious state that simply acts to repeat patterns as themes (karma) in every area of our life, over and over. This habitual state of mind forms the “life dynamic” that produces the experiences that become our soul’s memory as our essence, character, and constitution. Our soul is developed through accumulated memory attained through the body and how it identifies with it. The more of a certain type of memory we accumulate, the stronger and more stable the pattern becomes, trapping the soul at an unconscious level where it often fails to realize it has the ability to become consciously aware of unconscious tendencies, and through that awareness, dissolve the pattern, freeing itself to create in new ways by making new decisions that produce brand new experiences.

       The soul not only possesses the higher capacity of consciousness necessary for self-creating, but it also exists in polarity to higher planes of consciousness, where it acts as a medium between the upper and lower regions, and serves as the passive aspect of the active higher will, which is capable of impregnating it just as it’s capable of impregnating the imagination of the subconscious mind with an idea that it turns into a material reality. Habitual patterns only continue to play out when we’re unaware of them. By utilizing the witnessing capacity of the soul to realize the unconscious patterns being played out, they no longer take place in an automatic fashion, because our very perception changes through the awareness, and if we begin engaging in the same tendencies, we catch ourselves and realize what we’re doing and why. We can learn how to realize our own part in things by dissociating from our experiences (not “in them” having them from an internal perspective) and viewing them instead from a detached and objective state. When we view our life from a second or third person perspective, we view the events from a distance (as another person would) and see ourselves not as the main character in our movie, but simply as one character in a greater story, and we can see ourselves in a different light as simply playing a role in acting out a common story.

Once we become aware and fully conscious in our life, no longer reactive and bound to habitual mindsets, we’re free of them and have the ability to make conscious decisions instead. Through our ability to choose who and how we’re going to be, what qualities we’re going to take on and express through, we begin creating ourselves in a more novel and unique manner. In this way we break free of the karma as unconscious states that dominate and bind us to a mindless process of creation, and we become fully empowered in our own life. The minute we decide to stop doing one thing as a natural response and role, we have to decide how we’re going to be and what we’re going to do instead. All habits are dissolved and transformed through awareness, choice, and replacing them with new patterns that create in a more intentional manner through a fully awake state.

Dr. Linda Gadbois

Integrative Health and Wellness Consultant and Spiritual Mentor

The Chakra System Provides us with a Model for Using our Mind to Heal our Body

The Chakra system of the subtle body gives us a “model for creating” from a dual perspective as the movement of energy that’s both descending as spirit into matter, and matter ascending back into spirit. The creative process works from both angles because it’s the continuous flow of the same thing. When energy as vibration is descending from a higher plane, it comes in a unified form that divides and propagates as aspects of itself that form stages of development as a kind of growth process of an idea becoming a material form and reality. There are no “individual or independent” operations slated to each chakra as many believe, but rather a unified idea that steadily takes on physical properties and becomes something specific as an actual material reality. It’s the system through which an idea manifests as an equivalent physical correspondence or analogy.

What originates as an archetype or “ideal” is a form of prototype or general template as more of a theme, which holds the infinite potential of that idea as a wave-form (crown chakra has a thousand petals), enters into the individual mind and body system, where a form of natural selection takes place that accesses certain aspects of potential that correlate with it, and through a series of interference patterns as a process of adaptation based on the unique relationship that thematic idea forms with the individual character that’s acting as a vehicle for it to come into an actual form of expression, it’s modified, and the wave is “collapsed” around one possibility (limitation is imposed), which is brought into expression to produce the reality as its physical form.

The crown chakra is where the idea, which has already penetrated and been absorbed and inducted into the mind as the subtle energy field that surrounds and in-forms the body, as a “whole idea” that contains all aspects required for creating in a unified manner, enters the body.  It’s received into the 3rd-Eye of the sixth chakra as an inspired vision or imagined reality (similar to a memory) that has both optical and audio properties (6th chakra is represented as two petals). It comes as an imagined thought that’s accompanied by an inner voice. As the voice speaks a vision is formed as the meaning of the words spoken as a material reality. This inner voice (5th chakra) and imagined reality becomes the basis of what we call “thought”, which when beheld and dwelled in, forms feelings as sensations as it descends into the heart center. These feeling sensations of the imagined idea act as a form of vibratory programming for the subconscious mind of the body, and is what “connects us” to that same type of reality in everything around us in the material world of formation.

       The potential reality as an imagined, sensory and life-like reality produces emotion as the chemistry of the body as it descends into the solar plexus, which adjusts the biological body to the same “state” (vibratory quality) as the idea. The emotions are produced as a reaction to our visual thoughts, and unlike the feelings of the heart that are felt both inside and out as a connection to the material world outside of us, emotions are felt with intensity within the body as a strong stimulation that’s arousing and brings the body into an active state in response to the thought. This strong arousal and pronounced activity within the body takes place as the emotion enters the sexual-generative center of the second chakra, which is creative in nature, and what produces action as behaviors of some form as it enters the root chakra, and acts to bring the idea into expression as an experience by producing an effect as the reality of the thought. Once an idea is acted on, it steadily manifests as not only our inner reality, but also our outer reality. This is how ideas become rooted in reality as the personal creation of those who serve as the vehicle and conduit for actualizing them.

Because this process begins in the brain, the point in the body where ideas are received in full sensory terms, then broken down and distributed to the body itself for manifesting, the brain is attributed as being what “generates” the ideas as a primal form of consciousness. Yet all material form only acts as a passive receptor and instrument for consciousness, which operates it by informing, instructing, and animating it. Consciousness, like everything else that emerges from it, is dual in nature as both a passive and active component. Matter is the passive aspect of consciousness that acts as a form of “shell” or dead form for spirit to inhabit and give life to as a “living being” with a personality and subconscious mind. So the body is the means through which creation takes place as the active expression of consciousness (the Soul).

This same process as an infinite flow of energy that forms a kind of “feedback loop”, which allows the soul to witness its own creation, takes place through a form of reverse engineering. In the ascending flow of energy from the lower to the higher mind, a behavior or action of some kind arouses and stimulates us with a strong emotion, which then produces a feeling sensation as a form of reflection that activates a memory as a visual and verbal idea that provides an “automatic pattern” for creating as a reality. In this orientation and movement, the emotion and feeling produce the imagined thought, instead of the imagined thought producing the emotion and behavior. One originates as a conscious and willful movement, the other originates as an unconscious and automatic movement. Both are equally creative in nature and serve as correspondences to each other because our thoughts are what create the programs as memory of the subconscious mind. These programs habituate us to emotions that keep us in an aroused state, forming the basis for what affects us and causes an automatic, knee-jerk reaction as an emotional charge that makes us go unconscious and act in an automatic, thoughtless fashion.

       All of our reactions, ultimately, come as the result of how we’ve consistently programmed ourselves over a period of time with our own thoughts that formed our memories as a product of our conditioning. Our memories are formed by how we interpreted events through emotional perceptions as the reality we formed around them based on what we told ourselves about them that gave them the meaning they have. All things only mean what we make them mean by the story we tell ourselves about them. This process of feelings that are received from the environment that act to prompt an emotion as an active arousal, which in turn produces an automatic behavior, is how the instinctual realm of the plant and animal kingdom operate. When we bypass the intellectual capacity as the ability to reason, discriminate, and form our own interpretations as a function of the conscious mind, and live instead out of emotions that form illusions as memories that produce automatic behaviors in us, we live in much the same manner as an animal out of a primarily unconscious state.

The intelligent capacities of the Higher, creative Mind, represented by the three upper chakras (voice, vision, idea, and will), has the ability to work through, direct, and ultimately program the lower, subconscious mind of the body, represented by the four lower chakras, all of which are physical in nature, and more specifically the lower three, with the fourth  heart chakra being what bridges and acts as a pathway between the higher and lower planes, and the inner and outer of the material plane. Information is received from the higher plane of archetypal ideas as original thought from the crown and head, forming a vertical motion of up and down, whereas information from the “same plane” (material plane), is received through the heart, and forms a horizontal , as a back and forth, inner and outer movement. When we only live out of our feelings and emotions, stimulated from outer events, others, or in response to thinking as memories of some form, we bypass the intellectual capacity and live out of an unconscious, auto-pilot state of being controlled and determined in much the same way a puppet is operated by a series of strings, or in a remote control fashion, with others constantly being in control of the remote.

        The model laid out as a creative process by the chakra system as a hierarchical structure, provides us with the key and method for employing to work in a conscious and deliberate manner with our own subconscious mind and body to alter and transform our physical body and reality. The subconscious mind doesn’t have the ability to generate and produce reality as an “original creation”, but relies instead on memory which it uses as the basis for creating more realities of the same nature and kind. A memory acts as a preformed pattern or theme that’s used as a template to produce fractal patterns of the same nature as a replication or consistent type of story that produces the same type of experiences over and over, varied only by the uniqueness of the circumstances, situations, and relationships being used to create them. It simply plays out the same ideas over and over in a habitual manner, and produces and maintains the condition of the body as its equivalent and of the same nature and condition.

Whatever story we tell ourselves about our self and life, we become in form. Our mental paradigm is what produces all of our perceptions, which is an interpretation that we use to create our experiences that then determines how we behave, and simply acts in all situations to generate more of it self. It’s only modified from its habitual tendencies through the introduction of an original idea, that’s delivered in its original state as an imagined reality and inner voice, that “gives it” a pre-made idea as a virtual memory that it can use in place of an actual memory to produce the reality of the idea by “becoming it” in body and actions.

In this same fashion, the subconscious of the body, often referred to as the heart, can be given direction on what and how to manifest based on visualization of the process desired as a reality and by talking to it, explaining the process and how it works, and how it’s going to benefit from it. A sense of pleasure and positive emotion needs to be connected to the idea as what the reality will naturally produce. Thought as an idea (replicates a memory) must be translated into the feeling and emotion that’s the equivalent of the idea because it’s what actually produces the behavior or motivation (arousal) of the subconscious. Emotion is the motivating force as the chemistry of the body that forms all of its biological processes. Emotion comes as the stimulation of the Endocrine glands – the master of which is the Pineal and Pituitary body that act together to regulate all others as a unified operation – that produce hormones as messengers that alter the “state of the body” and activate certain processes by turning some aspects on while turning others off, in much the same way DNA operates. It’s only through coherence of the brain and heart (conscious and subconscious) as an idea and its emotional equivalent that manifestation and transformation naturally takes place.

       A thought that’s not properly translated through a sensory reality that produces the emotion of the idea, doesn’t manifest because it doesn’t work to alter and regulate the chemistry of the body to produce the actions necessary. It’s only an idea imagined as a full sensory reality that’s “felt as being real”, that provides a process or operation for transformation as a form of instructions or direction that invoke an emotional response as altering and producing the physical equivalent as the production and distribution of hormones that transforms how the body regenerates itself. It produces the chemical messengers as the information and instructions necessary to alter DNA sequences and neuro-pathways that change how the body regenerates and performs.

While we tend think that what we call “reality” is something that exists separate and independent of us, the fact is reality results from our perception of it. How reality “appears to us”, what we see and comprehend and what we don’t see or fail to recognize all together, is based on our ability to perceive and conceive of it. While we also tend to believe that perception is a product of our brain or heart, in fact, we perceive with our whole being, with both our mind and full body as a unified state and cohesive system. Just as we think with our whole body, in which every organ of our body produces neurotransmitters, and performs different aspects of thinking and perceiving, we also perceive the outer world through the lens of the inner world. Whatever ideas we “program” ourselves (subconscious and self-conscious) with, shape our paradigm, which produces an equivalent and corresponding outer reality as its expression and personal creation. Every individual perceives the same objective reality in a unique, different, and individual way. It’s only by changing our mind and body through the introduction and development of new and original ideas that we reprogram our subconscious to be able to perceive those ideas as a natural part of our outer reality. By changing ourselves, our whole world changes accordingly.

Dr. Linda Gadbois

Integrative Mind-Body Medicine Consultant and Spiritual Mentor

The Psychology of Relationships – We Hurt others in the same way we were Hurt

Relationships act as a Mirror for Reflecting back to us Unconscious Aspects of Ourselves

lovers

What many people don’t realize is that we’re never conditioned to only one role or position is a dynamic as a behavioral pattern, but rather to the “whole pattern”. Whatever patterns as family dynamics that we’re being played out around us and that we were an integral part of, we not only experience from one position or role in that dynamic, which was created through the interaction itself, but we develop defensive behaviors that serve to provoke the other roles being played out that were necessary to give us the experience we had in relationship with it. All behavioral dynamics are dramas acted out that create a consistent type of experiences. The only way we can do this is by attracting the same “type” of people, enter into relationship with them, where the same idea begins playing out, causing us to feel the same way that we always feel.

The relationship we form with others is a relationship we form with ourselves in the other person. Our consciousness as vibratory energy blends into theirs, where whatever qualities we share in common are naturally stimulated just through the nature of the interaction, made active in both people, brought forth as behaviors, and used to create our experiences of the relationship. Energy is qualities of consciousness that form our character and identity which produces the natural behavior and way of being that naturally act out greater patterns as self-expression that tells a certain type of story as a consistent version of reality. A certain type of person consistently tells a certain type of story. It’s fairly easy to recognize that you’ve got a personalized “theme” playing out in your life that’s the basis for how you experience things by the story you tell yourself about them that makes them mean something, the meaning we give things creates your experiences in a congruent and consistent manner. This theme, is at once the expression of the energetic structure of your paradigm and your perceptual lens which interprets everything to give it meaning by the story you tell yourself about it, while simultaneously creating and reinforcing your mental paradigm. We’re never experiencing other people or neutral events “as” they actually are, apart from us, but by how we remake them in our mind to naturally become a coherent part of our story about things.

Throughout our life, we were in conditions, circumstances, and situations where a consistent type of drama and behaviors were being acted out, and we were trained to participate in them, and they served to shape us to the natural mind-set and behaviors of that pattern. These events caused us to feel a certain way, and the story we made up about them as a way of putting them into context and making sense of them, created the perspective that became habitual, and we began interpreting all of the events of our life to mean the same thing and thereby tell the same type of story, and serve to give us more of the same type of feeling. We become conditioned to feeling a certain way, and that feeling as an overall mood forms all our personal experiences as the expression of it, which naturally produces more of it, strengthening and validating it. The inner feeling forms the outer perception as the reality of that feeling, stimulating it in others by how we feel and act, and using it as the basis for the interaction as a drama of some kind that acts to strengthen, multiply, and amplify the feeling in both people, and becomes the result or outcome of all experiences created out of that relationship.

Electric brain

Because we are conditioned to patterns, and our natural perception and behaviors are a product of that pattern, our natural perceptions and unconscious behaviors act to naturally stimulate, initiate, and produce that pattern. Often, this doesn’t come through actual behavior, but rather in our ability to interpret a large variety of behaviors displayed by others to “mean” what we believe it means, rather than as they actually intended it. What we “expect” to find or see in another (based on our past and the theme we developed) becomes our “filter” through which we look and our theme for interpreting everything to mean what we need it to mean in order to keep telling our story about things. Our perception is an “interpretation” that bares our signature as our “style” for creating.

The idea of “do unto others as you would have them do unto you”, is not a nice idea or polite behavior, but a psychological fact or law. As we do unto others, we stimulate them to treat us the same way in return. Not necessarily in the direct and fully aware sense, but in the indirect and unconscious sense. We produce the behavior of that pattern, often without realizing it because we’re telling ourselves a story about why we’re doing what we’re doing that makes it seem different. But the behavior itself stimulates the same behavioral pattern in the other person, who returns the favor by acting the same way towards us.

For example: Someone who feels rejected and not wanted (their theme), produces the attitude (how they “feel”) and behavior (how they come across) that causes them to be rejected and not wanted. They go into any situation expecting to be rejected, and anticipating it, looking for it, and are able to readily interpret any number of behaviors being displayed by the other person as “meaning” that they’re (once again) being rejected, and so they behave “as if” they’re being rejected and go into the behaviors they normally do when feeling that way, and act distant, aloof, somewhat cold, agitated, sad and hurt, and quit participating having to be coaxed into joining in, are overly shy, rude and harsh (angry), and act hurt for no obvious reason (to the other person), and so on. They act in a way that causes the other person to feel unwanted or rejected by them, and they respond in kind, by outright rejecting them. In this way, they produce the experience of being rejected by rejecting another, usually without ever realizing that that’s what they’re doing. When the other person responds in kind by rejecting them, they think, ah ha! I knew it, see, once again I’m not wanted, and they feel the same way they always do and can continue to tell the same story about things.

heart

In a similar fashion someone whose been betrayed, expects betrayal, and behaves in such a way that causes the other person to feel betrayed, and they respond in a like manner, betraying us back. All action causes an equal or greater reaction. Cause always produces a corresponding effect. We can only produce the effect that we act as the cause for. Likewise, other people act as the cause that produces an effect in us. We’re attracted to people who share the same feeling-pattern as we do, and who act to not only stimulate us and we them, but naturally cooperate and participate in acting out the same story, giving both people more of the same feeling they share in common.

Whatever we do ourselves, we imagine the other person is doing also. A person who lies and hides things is always suspicious of the other person as doing the same thing, and often accuses them of it even when they’re not. A person who plays around and cheats, expects the other person to be doing the same things, and often looks for (the same “way” they go about it) and accuses them of it. In fact, whatever a person states as their “issues” or what they don’t like or react to in another, is something they’re prone to doing themselves, they just have a different reason for doing it that makes it seem different.

Someone who says honesty is really important to them, and they don’t like it when their partner lies and keeps things from them, will not only attract the very people that will fulfill that, but usually have a considerable number of secrets themselves that they constantly lie about in order to keep hidden, and will sneak around snooping and spying on the other person trying to catch them at what they “know” they’re doing, which of course is doing the same thing they’re imagining the other person is doing. But when they’re doing the same thing, hiding things, they’re doing it for a reason that justifies it in their mind, so they don’t see themselves as doing the very thing they suspect the other person of doing.

Whatever theme we’ve built our identity around, we attract naturally the co-star of the same drama. A person with a “victim” mentality needs a victimizer in order to keep telling the story of being the victim, and produces the ideal behavior that provokes the person victimizing them. We always imagine that it’s being done “to us” with no fault of our own, and once again, we’re innocent victims to malicious people. When in reality, they’re acting as a mirror to reflect back to us our own tendencies and projections, showing us the dramas we act to consistently co-create. And of course these dramas are never cut and dry or outright obvious, but formed in very personal ways through “twists” in the plot. We have a particular way of being betrayed, for example, and there’s a sub-theme to the main theme. We have a particular way of being rejected, or a specific reason for being rejected. We then try to solve the issue by only focusing on the other person, and are not willing to recognize our own part, or work on our own tendencies, and are certainly not able to get into another relationship while acting the same way and producing a new effect. A person who’s sarcastic and verbally abusive, for example, usually causing people to become sarcastic and hurtful back, will try to find someone who won’t be bothered by it, or that will put up with it, without becoming the same way back, so they don’t have to change.

disagreement

Whenever we’re in a relationship, if we reflect on the overall nature of it, we’ll notice a pattern being acted out as a life drama that involves our “issues”, or is about the same thing all our experiences are about. In noticing and gaining realization of the pattern as tendencies, we can begin seeing our part in it, and what we’re doing to actively co-create it. What we see in the other person is a reflection of that same feeling-quality in us. Our interaction stimulates their feelings and behaviors, and vice versa. They play a complementary role in our drama, and us in theirs. When we understand that we are costars of the same story, we can realize that what we imagine they’re doing to us, is something they also perceive us as doing to them. How they’re being with us is a direct reflection of how we’re being with them.

Like always begets more of what is like itself. We can’t enter into relationship with someone who doesn’t share the same qualities and behavioral dynamics because we fail to relate and there’s no connection between us. When we feel chemistry with someone, their energy is moving into ours and stimulating it by activating or vibrating it. This is because we’re resonating with them, we are of the same vibratory frequency, and share the same mind-set. When we come together there’s immediate connection, pronounced feelings and we instantly relate to them. There’s a natural understanding that takes place. The nature of our immediate interaction sets the shared pattern into motion, and basic ways of interacting become established fairly early on, and sets the foundation for how the relationship develops in terms of the feelings and behaviors it endeavors.

No one is going to come into our life and fix or heal us. We have to do that “before” we can attract or be attracted to the person that will act out a different story with us. Until we heal and correct our own issues and tendencies, we are only capable of attracting, relating to, and forming a relationship with those who play a complementary role in the same dynamic. However, two people who realize their own tendencies, and awaken together in the midst of their pattern, can heal together by supporting one another in their growth, act as the means for healing to take place through transformation, and continue to grow together throughout their lives.

 

Dr. Linda Gadbois   

Evolutionary Relationships

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Dr. Linda GadboisAbout the author:
Dr. Linda is an expert in Spiritual Sciences and scholar of Hermetic Sciences and Ancient Wisdom traditions. She’s a professional educator and trainer for all areas of personal transformation, self-creation, mind development, and soul/spiritual evolution. She practices Integrative Medicine with a special emphasis on Psychology and Creative therapies. She conducts ongoing classes, Playshops, and Adventure Seminars, and is available for private or group training, mentoring, and speaking engagements.
To inquire, click here

 

The Struggle to find Meaning and Purpose

rainbow in yosimite

As we go through life, we’re always building our life around what gives us a sense of purpose. This usually comes through a relationship of some form, either in the romantic sense, where we build a life together, or when we have children and a family that we love and who counts on us for their well-being and happiness. It can also come from work of some sort that we feel passionate about and that helps others, enriches people’s lives, or somehow makes the world a better place. It can also come from creative work, whether it be art or music of some form, writing, making a beautiful home, cultivating a garden, cooking for our family, or taking care of someone to help them heal and grow. It often comes from being needed, having someone depending on us, or the pleasure and joy that comes from providing and giving to others in need. Whatever it is that gives you a sense of “building your life around” it. Whatever gives you a sense of direction and infuses your life with a deep sense of meaning, where everyday you know what you’re waking up for and what you need to do.
When we find ourselves alone in life, either after raising a family that’s grown up and gone, ending long-term relationships, suffering an illness, disease or disability, we come face to face with the reality of what gives our life meaning, and what serves to motivate us in the most ordinary sense. When we have no purpose, nothing to build our life around, it can leave us feeling empty, drained, unmotivated, and depressed. Things we once enjoyed no longer appeal to us because doing them alone isn’t the same as doing them with a loved one where you share the experience and feel the happiness that comes from giving and connecting, or the companionship of always having family of some sort, whether actual or good friends.
When our roles change in life, and what we once built our identity around falls away or ends somehow, and we no longer know who we are or what we’re meant to do, life becomes meaningless and our purpose muddied and unclear. To work and build something only for yourself, often brings no real sense of pleasure or fulfillment. Being alone and working only for yourself, can bring a deep sense of loneliness that goes way beyond longing to be with somebody and recapturing that sense of connection and affection, but begins to slowly strip away meaning itself, where just motivating yourself in the ordinary sense becomes a constant struggle. You’re left with that “what’s the use” feeling, and you begin steadily isolating yourself, or take on a desperate feeling of grasping for whatever you can get, just as long as you don’t have to be alone. You can begin settling for anything, or considering a relationship that you normally wouldn’t even entertain, while finding that it not only doesn’t satisfy the need to connect and feel apart of someone, but makes you feel another kind of loneliness that’s confusing, because you feel even more lonely when you’re with someone. Or it can cause you to go deeper into your isolation and feeling disconnected from people in general, and begins a long journey of accepting that you’re going to be alone, and trying to figure out how to honestly be okay with it. You accept your fate and slowly disappear into a numbing silence where your own thoughts are your only companion. You take up hobbies, transfer your affection to pets, or delve deeper into your work, and while it doesn’t alleviate the loneliness, it does offer a temporary distraction that gives you something to do while you continue to try and figure out what you’re going to do.
While many people say they don’t want to be needed, be responsible for others, and feel burdened by having to provide for the well-being of others, in reality, those are the things that give our life meaning, and give us a clear sense of purpose and the ability to give to others knowing we make a difference in their lives, and without us, they wouldn’t be okay. When we’re apart of something greater than ourselves, and build our lives around others, we’re motivated in the most natural sense and have a constant feeling of love and affection in our life. True pleasure and contentment come from sharing life with another, and others, and from whatever gives us a sense of responsibility, love and devotion for and towards. As humans, we’re not meant to be alone, and a life well lived is lived in the service of others whom we love enough to make sacrifices. In this sense, sacrifice is the true demonstration of love, and intensifies our feeling of commitment and living a life of purpose and meaning.
If we find ourselves alone in life, and seemingly without a prospect for union, then we devote our lives to others and to a cause that takes the place of family, and gives us a sense of duty, service and purpose. If we know we matter in someone’s life, that we’re making a difference, and that the world is somehow better because of us, than it gives our life the meaning and purpose that we all need. It gives us direction and a sense of accomplishment. It gives us a channel for giving and receiving, for contributing and participating in something beyond ourselves. We’re only truly happy when we feel a valuable part of something greater than ourselves. To live a life of purpose is to live a life of service.

 

Dr. Linda Gadbois

 

About the author:
Dr. Linda is a Spiritual Scientist and scholar of Hermetic Sciences and Ancient Wisdom traditions. She’s a professional educator and trainer for all areas of personal transformation, self-creation, mind development, and soul/spiritual evolution. She practices Integrative Medicine with a special emphasis on Psychology and Creative therapies. She conducts ongoing classes, Playshops, and Adventure Seminars, and is available for private or group training, mentoring, and speaking engagements.
To inquire, click here

The Transformative Power of Relationships

cycles
As we move through life, we’re always in the process of exchanging consciousness with everything around us. Just as we breathe and take in the air around us, using the molecules attained from it to replenish depleted molecules in our body, and rebuild our body by incorporating them into our molecular structure, we’re also taking in and exchanging consciousness with everything around us through resonance. We experience this exchange of energy as feelings in the indirect sense of just being around something, and as a direct stimulus when an actual interaction takes place. As we interact with someone, they directly stimulate us, and us them. This stimulating effect comes from what’s being activated between us, and brought out in us through the nature of the interaction. Certain qualities as a mood, attitude, and characteristics are called forth by what ever is being demonstrated, and then shaped into a greater pattern as a behavioral dynamic through the nature of the interaction itself as a cause and affect or action and reaction type of drama. We can only form an actual relationship with those who share the same qualities and characteristics as we do and who are conditioned to tell a similar type of story, necessary for the interaction itself, which begins co-creating a specific type of story-line as an ongoing interaction.

 
The people and situations we surround ourselves with, whether intentionally or unintentionally, become the building blocks of our consciousness. They act to transform us by taking on and making active within us whatever qualities we share in common. As these inner qualities are brought into an active state, they’re developed in us through the overall pattern as a dynamic being acted out, and they’re strengthened in us. We are then conditioned to the dynamic itself, and as we experience it we acquire memory of it, which serves as our basic mental and emotional programming. Whatever we have memory of we act out unconsciously in an automatic and natural fashion. As we co-create experiences by playing out certain dynamics, the memory of those experiences adjust and modify our paradigm to include them, and they become a part of our essential being.

 
This transformative quality of our relationships works for good or for bad. They either act to bring out the best in us, or they bring out the worst in us. We either like who we become when we’re with them, or we don’t like who and how we become. They make us feel a certain way, and that feeling is consistent whenever we’re with them. While we experience a range of emotions and feelings when we’re with them through various activities, the overall feeling that takes place forms a theme which remains constant throughout the relationship. The theme of how we feel is produced by the dynamic the relationship takes on. We can feel a deep connection that’s intimate and immediate, where we are valued, appreciated, wanted, desired, and we truly feel love; or we can feel used, not good enough, deceived or betrayed, humiliated, disappointed, where love is replaced by a series of toxic emotions that are painful and only act to reduce us somehow. You can tell pretty early in the interaction what it’s going to be if you’re willing to pay attention and honor your feelings.

heart to heart

The key to mastering your relationships by seeing them as powerful “self-development tools”, is to remain present in your experiences, and always notice how you’re feeling, and how they’re being. Always remember feelings don’t lie, it’s only the outer appearance of things, or what we start telling ourselves about what’s going on as a means of justifying or denying it that can be deceptive. Words or what people say and do that are clashing with how you’re feeling are the illusion. This idea isn’t about right and wrong, feeling guilt or shame, or placing blame on the other person, it’s simply about recognizing with clarity that what they’re doing and how they’re being with you, causes you to feel a certain way. This feeling inside of you in response to them is what they will continue to bring out in you throughout the entire relationship. The feeling, not the outer behavior, is what sets the pace for the relationship and the theme it takes on by the dynamic that starts playing out.

 
Even when you realize that the feeling you have is about your own “issue”, because of how you were raised, also realize that this relationship is about that same dynamic and will only continue developing that feeling in you, and was more than likely formed because it was about creating more of that same issue, and will continue to be. The feeling and dynamics are a congruent component of a larger pattern, and one acts to stimulate and produce the other. The idea here becomes healing yourself of your “issues” before you get into a relationship. That way you know that the attraction wasn’t based on the shared issue, and you’ll attract and be attracted to a different kind of person who won’t serve to act out the dynamic of the issue with you, simply strengthening it and giving you more of it.

smouchin

The key to understanding comes through self awareness and realization. Devote yourself to becoming aware of your own issues and tendencies as “themes” you were conditioned with, and the behaviors you’ve acquired by way of them. Begin recognizing the tendencies you’ve developed that may be making the other person feel the same way as you feel when they simply respond to you in a like manner. For example, if your tendency is to not feel wanted and included in activities, that you act as if it’s an actual fact, may cause you to behave in ways that are stand-offish, distant, cold, or uninterested, that cause the other person to feel unwanted and excluded by you. They then react to you in a like manner and behave in a way that causes you to feel “unwanted and not apart of things”. We build behaviors around our issues as a way of defending or protecting ourselves against them that serve to actually produce them. Self-reflect and gain as much insight as you can into your own feelings and issues, and work on yourself to heal those issues before you look to get into a romantic and intimate relationship.

 
Cultivate in yourself the ability to stay aware of how you’re feeling in any given moment, based on an interaction of some sort. Notice what you’re feeling inside, what part of you it’s appealing to and bringing out, and who you start becoming because of the interaction. What persona do you take on? This shows you what the relationship will naturally strengthen and develop in you. If you simply “hold a feeling”, move into it and become fully present in it, and begin reflecting on it, what you’ll notice is that a whole idea begins playing out in your mind like a memory that’s inherent in the feeling. Regardless of how it plays out in terms of the scenario it presents itself through, the theme or main idea it illustrates is what’s showing you the reality inherent in the feeling. Feelings are an internal response to an outer reality as the experience of it. A inner feeling is always associated to an outer reality. The same types of events give us the same type of feelings. When you see into your feelings, you get a preview of the type of realities they produce, that will only act to give you more of the same feeling. It exists as a kind of circuitry as an inflow and outflow that’s constantly harmonizing and equalizing the inner with the outer.

energy exchange
As you recognize how you’re feeling with someone, don’t get caught up in feeling bad about what you’re realizing, or making them bad or wrong somehow, where you start compromising your feelings or distorting them through a story you tell about them that makes them mean something, simply observe them in an objective manner “as” they are, and honor them as showing you the truth in a situation. Your inner feelings will always show you in very direct terms the true nature of any situation. It comes through resonance as an energetic interaction, and is neutral in nature. It only becomes subjective and distorted when you begin interpreting it to make it mean something. The interpretation and meaning is the illusion we build around things that prevents us from seeing the truth. The truth doesn’t come with a story attached to it, but as a direct and immediate inner stimulation that makes you feel a certain way. Honor that, and you’ll always be working with the true reality of any relationship or situation.

 

Dr. Linda Gadbois

Evolutionary Relationships

Personal Transformation

About the author:
Dr. Linda is a Spiritual Scientist and scholar of Hermetic Sciences and Ancient Wisdom traditions. She’s a professional educator and trainer for all areas of personal transformation, self-creation, mind development, and soul/spiritual evolution. She practices Integrative Medicine with a special emphasis on Psychology and Creative therapies. She conducts ongoing classes, Playshops, and Adventure Seminars, and is available for private or group training, mentoring, and speaking engagements.
To inquire, click here

Karma – The Golden Rule and the Law of Ethical Causation and Impartial Justice

electric
Karma is a major component of Eastern Philosophies and Ancient Wisdom, all of which include as a foundation the idea of reincarnation and the eternal nature of the soul within the timeless realm of consciousness that exists in multiple levels and varying degrees simultaneously. While many people grasp the principle of cause and effect that’s inherent in this idea, many fail to recognize the conscious and ethical considerations, as well as the true nature of human beings as three-part in nature while spanning multiple dimensions, only part of which we are conscious and aware of in the direct sense. This fundamental three-part nature includes an aspect of the mind/self as the Higher-Self, that never fully incarnates in the physical realm of the two lower-physical minds, but resides on the plane above the material plane and not only oversees it from a neutral and impartial perspective, but acts to orchestrate many of the meaningful events that take place within the lower plane.

 
The true nature of karma is not as individual or random acts per say, but actions that come from the sum total of our evolutionary development which is expressing in every moment as out whole being. Just as our current mind – self is the culmination of all our life experiences as the memories we formed by how we interpreted the events of our life to give them meaning which formed a general “theme” as a kind of template that we’re always using to create our experiences out of, our karma is the product of accumulated experiences as memory that forms our perspective, perception, intention and desires, and motivates all of our actions and reactions.

 
Though karma has been trivialized in the West, as most spiritual ideas are, we don’t experience or incur karma from or in random events or activities in which we were not at cause, or that didn’t come about out of a desire or intention of some sort. Karma is created through willful acts that are deliberate and intentional in nature, where we are actively and purposely “causing something”. It’s not random, cold, mechanistic action, but intelligently regulated and infused with spiritual compassion, even in the smallest areas of our life, because the universe exists for the enactment, benefit, and welfare of all involved. Every time we’re involved in acting out and creating more karma, it’s always with others who share the same karma, and act to “give it back to us” as reactions to our actions or rendering direct consequences of our actions.

 
Yet even though we’re always in the process of receiving the consequences to our actions from the outside world, we are solely responsible for our self, and are the only ones creating our karma, keeping it alive, and continually expressing it through our attitudes and behavior, and engrained tendencies. Because it’s a part of our essential self as our mental paradigm formed solely from our own self-created experiences as our memories, it can only be resolved by changing our own mental paradigm and moral character. Most karma is developed through the activity of our ego, physical desires, and attachments and the need to somehow control others by exercising power over them. When we seek to control others and the circumstances that involve others through an intentional act of some sort designed to produce a specific reaction or outcome, we create and incur karma.

flaming lotus

Any willful act is karmic in nature and something we alone are fully responsible for. Any quests we undertake for lust, greed, and to attain power of some form, is usually the expression of existing karma that acts to create more of the same type of experiences born out of consequences of our , over and over again. Karma is a cause and effect relationship that gives back to us actions of the same nature that we put out as a corresponding reaction. Every action produces a like reaction. But not all actions are karmic. Any action or event that wasn’t produced out of a desire or intention, while it may still render consequences, are not caused by us intentionally and do not remain with us as unconscious tendencies that continue driving our behaviors. Neutral events that happen without intention or deliberation, and that don’t produce a pronounced reaction in us, are NOT a form of karma. So things like not getting a parking place, having someone be rude to us, or being rear-ended while at a stop light, is not karma, but is merely a cause and effect relationship going on around us in which we had no direct or intentional part in creating. If they came as a direct consequence or reaction to our actions, though not intentional or with a motive of some sort, then they’re still not considered karmic. If however they come as a direct response to an intentional and deliberate act on our part, which involved deliberate thought and motive of some sort, then it’s karmic in nature and draws more of the same karma on us through the consequences it brings.

 
Karma isn’t a singular act that comes out of nowhere and is not a product of a person’s normal character, but rather comes out of the summation of a person’s development and is a natural tendency they display and engage in as a part of their attitude and normal mind-set. The tendency to control, manipulate, or try to exercise power over others, is karma as character traits that cause more of the same type of karma. Likewise the person that allows themselves to be controlled or manipulated, and who give their power away to those manipulating them, is also karma, and is a part of the same type of karma as the one seeking control over them. Because they share karma as a natural cause and effect relationship that cooperatively participates in complementary roles of the same pattern, they live out their karma through the natural relationship that forms between them.

embodied

Because karma is the result of conditioned tendencies and unconscious patterns that are emotionally driven by desire and attachment of some sort, we are born into and naturally incur various forms of karma as shared tendencies that are acted out with a group. We have family karma as tendencies acted out within various roles by the whole family, as well as race karma, national and cultural karma, and karma of the present age. The best way to become aware of our karma is through self-reflection and noticing what we have “issues around”, strong emotional reactions too, or agendas that are emotionally driven and come about in what is largely an unconscious manner. We can notice the patterns that govern our life and what ideas we play out in an intentional manner that tells a story of some sort. We can begin recognizing what themes underlie all of our relationships. Naturally we can look at any area where we feel a strong compulsion or aggressive action, or frequently have an intense reaction to that draw very distinct consequences as the thematic patterns that govern our life experiences, while giving up our need to defend our actions by justifying them. It’s this tendency to defend and justify our right to do something that keeps us unconscious of the reality it produces through what are for the most part, natural and automatic behaviors.

 

 

Key points to consider:

 
• Karma is produced by willful acts that involve desire, intention and are done with a distinct motive of some sort and intentionally.

 
• Karma is when we are directly at “cause” and the one producing an effect or reaction that draws on us the consequences of our actions.

 
• Our karma is acted out with others who share the same type of karma as behavioral dynamics. Other people play a complementary role and cooperatively participate in our dramas and agendas.

 
• Karma is regulated through a form of spiritual compassion of our Higher-Self that works in an impartial manner for the benefit and welfare of all involved.
• Random, neutral, and mechanical acts that we had no part in causing are NOT karma for us.

 
• Karma stems from the summation of our evolutionary development as our mental paradigm and natural or conditioned perceptions and tendencies.

 
• We are participating in multiple levels of karma all the time as family, community, work place, national, cultural, racial, and the karma of the present age of humanities evolution as a whole.

 
• To change or resolve our karma is to recognize and become aware of our own subconscious tendencies and the motive behind our deliberate actions that are creative in nature, and cultivate qualities and beliefs that counteract them. It always comes by working with our own subconscious mind and bringing light to tendencies we act out without direct awareness of what we’re doing exactly or why.

 

 

Dr. Linda Gadbois

Spiritual Sciences

Transformational Coaching

Integrative Medicine

 

About the author:
Dr. Linda is a Spiritual Scientist and scholar of Hermetic Sciences and Ancient Wisdom traditions. She’s a professional educator and trainer for all areas of personal transformation, self-creation, mind development, and soul/spiritual evolution. She practices Integrative Medicine with a special emphasis on Psychology and Creative therapies. She conducts ongoing classes, Playshops, and Adventure Seminars, and is available for private or group training, mentoring, and speaking engagements.
To inquire, click here

Learning to become an Excellent Communicator – Self-Expression as Performance

performance

Knowledge originated as the “Arts and Sciences” in what most see as contrary ideas that are in reality extensions of each other. Knowledge as science can be thought of as an idea in theoretical form that can only be proved through experimentation or by applying it at the practical level to create living phenomena out of it as an experience of it. The application comes as a form of communication where we become the “channel” or “vehicle” through which the idea comes into physical reality by way of us. We act in some way by applying the idea to our life, and “act it out” or “perform it”. Because our method of application and style of performing is unique to us based on our personality, “how” we do it becomes a form of self-expression, where the science applied becomes an art-form.

 
Many of you may have seen the “communication pie” that reveals the components of communication as being 7% based on the words being used, 38% being the tone or quality of your voice in terms of “how” we say it, and 55% of the communication comes through our physiology as what we’re expressing by how we’re being. Naturally, many of the experts want to take this in a literal manner and begin breaking apart a whole expression into “body-language” as categories and labels in a way that can be standardized and therefore taught in a methodical manner, yet, what this is actually showing us is that we actually communicate by expressing with our whole being. Communication is a full body transmission that simultaneously reveals the inner state of the person communicating, while also revealing their mental paradigm that forms their unique perception and interpretive style. What this shows us is that we can never really hide how we’re feeling. Our attitude forms the greater part of our communication. What we value, believe, and have a preference for shapes our communication in subtle ways that while they may not be readily recognized in our attempt to conceal them, they are still fully conveyed in our energy, which is felt by others.

 
Communication is intuitive and being done all the time through our “presence”, regardless of whether or not we’re talking. People can sense our energy as our mental atmosphere, read our emotions being reflected in our body postures, gestures, and facial expressions, as well as biological processes such as flushing of the skin, tension in the lips, dilated pupils, shakiness in our voice, and so on. We also communicate in a basic sense by how we present ourselves, through our personal grooming, style, wardrobe, jewelry, etc. We create an image of ourselves that give people an impression of “who” and “how” we are, and what kind of person we are. To take up the study of body language that turns it into a mechanical, systematized process of categorizing and labeling specific postures and gestures as meaning this or that and applied to everyone equally, is like buying a book on “dream interpretation” that gives a universal interpretation of certain objects as if they mean the same thing to everybody, when in fact, nothing could be further from the truth. The message in the communication expresses not only the idea being communicated, but also the person doing the communicating. We can tell how they feel about what they’re communicating, what their perspective is, and whether they’re being congruent in terms of what they’re communicating being contradictory to how they actually feel. Whether they’re creating an illusion and lying, or whether or not they believe what they’re saying, and saying it out of honesty. What we’re doing with our body always matches our internal state. Always.

 
This gives us the tools we need for becoming excellent communicators by becoming aware of how we’re being as we communicate. By realizing that in order to communicate effectively, we have to first form the proper state or mood out of which we communicate, knowing it’s going to be the greater part of the communication. Cultivating the proper attitude through which we communicate is critical to the message or idea being communicated. Becoming aware of how we accentuate our voice quality through our tone, speed and hesitations as a form of timing, the rhythm of talking, what and how we emphasize words, what we’re doing with our body, our facial expressions, and gestures by how we use our hands, controlling the look in our eyes, and so on.


The basic dynamic always going on as the basis for our communication, is that whatever mood or emotion we’re embodying and expressing through, we stimulate that same emotion in others, calling it forth in response to us as the “connection” or “stream of communication” as an interactive flow of energy. We connect to others and the external world through feelings and emotions. Emotions connect us to things outside of ourselves that brings what’s inside, outside, and vice verse as a correspondence. Our action stimulates an equal reaction of the same emotional quality. How we act towards others by how we’re being, determines how they act towards us in a natural response to us. This is a fundamental form of “cause and effect”.

 
So all communication is in fact a “performance” where the words being employed are only a minute part of what’s actually being conveyed. To become an excellent communicator, you need to become an excellent performer. You take an attitude of expressing ideas by “embodying them”, creating the proper mood necessary for stimulating the same feeling-mood in whomever you’re communicating with. You do this by asking yourself, what feeling is necessary for the expression of this idea within the conditions and circumstances it’s being used to create? What is the purpose of the communication, and what effect or behavior is it designed to create? What emotion will give the proper emphasis and elicit the desired response as an outcome? Based on what you’re communicating and what result or course of action it’s meant to set in motion, what state do you need to cultivate in order to become the proper channel for expressing the idea that will elicit the same state in another? What part of the person’s imagination do you want to touch on through the nature of the communication, and what seed will the communication plant as a fertile idea in their mind that they will continue to grow through the emotion connected to it that it was delivered through, long after the communication is done?

emotional expressions

To plant a seed as a thought to be grown in the mind of another, we match the idea with the emotion. The emotion determines in what way the idea will be developed, and what kind of reality they will create out of it as a result. When inspiring and passionate emotions are coupled with an idea, it’s developed in a very positive way as the means for expressing the emotion through the idea. When negative emotions are applied to the same idea, it’s developed in a way that expresses that emotion and serves to create more of it. Thought and emotion are always joined to create experiences as the reality of the thought. The emotion is our “direct line” into another and the formative or creative factor that shapes the idea to be an expression of it. While our thoughts may be unique to each person, and the words we use form different pictures in each persons mind as an association, emotions are universal and shared by everyone in a congruent manner. Anger produces anger, and though how it’s expressed may be different from person to person, it still acts to stimulate and create more anger. The emotional component of an idea is what we connect to in others, and the idea as a thought is simply the form the emotion takes on as a vehicle to express as a reality. Whenever we’re communicating, the emotion “is” what’s actually being communicated through how we’re expressing ourselves. Our expression stimulates that same nature and expression in another and acts to multiply it.

anger

By learning to view how we communicate in a new light, we can not only become more self-aware, and perhaps realize why our communications fail to produce what we want them to produce, but through the awareness alone, we can hone our style for self-expression by learning how to perform much like an actor takes on the proper state and character traits to play a role in a convincing manner. Just as when we were kids and we modeled our hero’s and those we wanted to be like by taking on the same qualities and behaviors that served to develop us in those same ways by becoming the expression of them. When we learn how to communicate by performing, we develop higher forms of self-expression and become powerful creators in our own life. We learn how to “give” people ideas that we want them to develop and act to co-create with us by forming a joint reality out of them.

 

So as you think about communicating and what it is you wish to produce by way of the communication, think about what feeling or emotion as a state-of-mind that you want to elicit in them as the fertile ground for developing the idea you’re introducing into their mind as a thought that will be developed in their imagination into an internal experience. Then intentionally cultivate and take on that emotional state before you communicate the idea. Notice just how employing the emotional state changes how you form the communication in your imagination that changes how it delivered or expressed. Then, practice communicating in a way that consciously expresses the emotion by how you’re being. By your energy, your body posturing, facial expression, the tone and quality of your voice, and the rhythm in which you speak, and what you emphasize by “how” you say it. Communication is actually an art-form that’s performed. Like any performance based art, you have to practice to develop your style and your ability to become more expressive by learning to utilize your entire being as the basis for the communication.

communicating
To produce new behaviors takes the firm decision to do so, and commitment to a dedicated practice that’s undertaken in a devoted manner. Once we choose what we want to change and the new methods to be employed in their place, and we start by imagining our selves being that way, and doing it that way, we begin using the creative aspect of our imagination to form internal representations of an idea as a reality, that we then use for acting out to produce the same idea as an outer affect. Imagining an idea gives us the basis for practicing it. By practicing we build knowledge into our muscle where it becomes natural and automatic. We begin transforming how we’re being in the world, and how we express ourselves as a result. We learn how to truly connect to others and share ideas that simultaneously allow for emotional expression that’s healthy and productive in nature. By expanding our ability to express ourselves more fluently and eloquently, we form a new kind of confidence and enhance our experience of living by enriching the meaning things take on.

 

Practice only makes perfect when you know how to practice in the right way. Otherwise, it simply propagates a whole series of errors.

 

Dr. Linda Gadbois

Transformational Coaching

Personal Development

Professional Development

 

About the author:
Dr. Linda is a Spiritual Scientist and scholar of Hermetic Sciences and Ancient Wisdom traditions. She’s a professional educator and trainer for all areas of personal transformation, self-creation, mind development, and soul/spiritual evolution. She practices Integrative Medicine with a special emphasis on Psychology and Creative therapies. She conducts ongoing classes, Playshops, and Adventure Seminars, and is available for private or group training, mentoring, and speaking engagements.
To inquire, click here

 

Life Lessons that Form the Opportunity for Healing – “Fragmented and Integrated Aspects form the basis of Karma”

cycles

The idea of Karma can be difficult for many to understand in its most basic sense, because they try to imagine and make sense of it through their conscious mind, when its actually a natural part of their subconscious mind, which is comprised of and operates out various levels of memory. Karma is formed out of experiences of life as an interpretation that only sees the significance of things from a limited perspective that interprets events to give them meaning, which turns it into a personalization as a perception, that becomes the nature of the memory. The memory that’s formed by how we interpret life events, forms the programming of the subconscious mind as an accumulative process that forms a dynamic structure of interrelated patterns that produce a coordinated movement (frequency) as a mental paradigm or “model of the world”. This model is the structure of our mind as a pattern that forms our perceptual lens as a filtering mechanism that structures our experiences.

 
Our subconscious mind is the aspect of our mind-being that forms all of our natural assumptions, expectations, and perceptual lens that’s also directly connected to and a fundamental part of our environment – the greater mind of the collective unconscious – and produces all of our natural and automatic behaviors, while producing the emotions that drive and govern our thoughts. Our subconscious mind exists in the realm just outside of time, and is always “present” and in the process of transmitting and receiving information from everything around us. This information is transmitted as vibration that produces sensations as feelings that stimulate our body, producing chemistry as emotions that alter our body’s state (frequency) to match our environment, which also alters our state of mind, as the unification between our conscious thinking mind, and our subconscious feeling-emotional mind. It’s also how we’re always blending into and becoming an essential part of our outer environment through an equilibrating process that’s a fundamental law of evolution. The inner and the outer exist in an intimate relationship with each other, and are always exchanging information both energetically and physically. The exchange of information as a relationship adjusts the outer to match the inner, and the inner to match the outer to form congruence and continuity. We only “receive” and are able to integrate the information from the environment that’s of the same frequency as an essential part of the same paradigm or that can be adjusted to fit into our model and can be perceived through our normal way of interpreting things to give them meaning that allows us to tell a story about them as a way of understanding them.

vesicaThis “style” of interpretation becomes what you could call our “signature” as a universal theme with a personalized twist, developed in a unique fashion by how we integrate “known” properties in our experiences, while failing to integrate “unknown” properties in our own make-up, which, even though we’re not aware of them, and don’t recognize the quality in ourselves (because we’re interpreting it negatively and don’t own it as a result) because they’re a part of us at the unconscious level, we continue to think the thoughts that promote them, while acting them out in a natural and unconscious way, and connect to those same behaviors and tendencies all around us. We are connected to, act as a magnet for, and are an inherent part of our unconscious aspects as we are our conscious ones, the ones we have an actual awareness of. This produces behavioral patterns as life-dynamics that we’re always involved in, that are actually acting to show us the unconscious aspects at play in creating our everyday reality.

 
As long as we continue to remain unaware of them, while still attracting and actively participating in them while projecting them onto others and our life circumstances, “seeing” them in others while forming a strong reaction to them, then we continue to live out of these same patterns as a life-theme, often without ever realizing our part in it. This is karma as “whole patterns” that contain both our conscious-aware aspects and our unconscious-unaware aspects. Our karma brings life-lessons as repeated themes played out in different ways, within different scenarios, and with a variety of people as a way of “revealing to us” what we’re unaware of in ourselves. By recognizing the patterns we consistently play out as dramas of some sort that are created by how we enter into relationship with those of the same tendencies that will actively participate in acting out the same dynamic allowing us to recognize ourselves being reflected back to us in them in terms of how they’re playing the opposite role in a complementary dynamic, provides us with the means to recognize our own tendencies that come more as impulses and emotional charges of some form.

tree reflection

Our life-dynamics as the storyline we’re always in the process of living out come as lessons in the sense that they provide us with the means to begin recognizing our own thematic patterns, what our part is that pattern, and what unconscious aspects we are responding to and interacting with in others by acting out the same type of reality. We can begin seeing what behaviors and false beliefs we hold about ourselves and others that are based on false assumptions as a form of denying aspects in ourselves that we don’t like or deem bad, and therefore build illusions around that make them “seem” different, while still outwardly displaying them through our behaviors, the mental scripts we run through our mind, and the nature of our interactions.

 
As long as we remain unaware of our own tendencies that are actively producing our life experiences, we keep acting them out, while imagining that we have nothing to do with them, and they’re actually being done to us by others or through the situation taking place of which we have no control. The lesson being offered as more of an opportunity for growth is to become aware of ourselves as the creator of our own life experiences. This is often because we don’t realize that there’s a difference between the outer, objective events of our life, and how we use those to create our experience of them. Many imagine that their “experiences” are actually a neutral and objective interpretation where everyone is having the same type of experience as they are by way of the same outer events. Yet in reality, nothing is further from the truth. The fact is we are all creating our unique experiences of everything around us that’s entirely different from the next person. Everybody experiences the same outer reality as a unique form of self-expression as “how” they form their experience of it that interprets it to give it meaning through their personal paradigm. Everyone notices different things, and abstracts different aspect of any given situation as a form of resonance that acts as a filtering mechanism. Our mind filters through all the information available, only selecting what aspects match it in terms of the interpretation it forms as it’s perception that tell a story of some sort.

flaming lotus

When we can see and realize what we’re doing in any situation that’s actively participating in creating it, and “own” all aspects of ourselves by realizing them, without judging them, needing to explain them, or justify them somehow, then we can start becoming self-aware. When we begin recognizing our role in things, what part in our own story we’re playing, and what we’re doing to cooperatively engage and act them out as a part of a storyline, and what it is that draws us into them emotionally, we can begin seeing the dynamics we’re conditioned to. It’s always easier to recognize and accurately describe tendencies in other people than it is to recognize our own tendencies. The only reason we continue to participate in creating experiences that cause us pain and lead to suffering somehow, is because we’re unaware of what we’re doing. Just the recognition and awareness alone, begins dissolving the pattern by breaking the hold it has over us. Once we’re able to “see” what we’re doing and the reason for doing it, it loses its grip over us because we’re now awake in moments we used to be asleep in, and we no longer need to project it in order to see it. In this, the lesson offered is learned and we no longer create it without awareness of what we’re doing. All lessons in life are setting the stage that allows what is unconscious to become conscious. Shining a light into the dark areas of our inner being so we can see what’s normally hidden from us.

 
How we experience the events of our life by how we perceive it, and how we interpret it in order to make sense out of it, is entirely a personal creation as a projection of our inner reality onto our outer reality as “looking through our perceptual lens” which reorganizes the outer to match the inner by the story we tell ourselves about it that makes it mean something that births a unique reality as the unification between the inner and the outer, the universal and the individual, the conscious and the subconscious. Our mental paradigm connects us to that same paradigm in everyone and everything around us, attracting and entering into relationship only with what’s complementary to us.

flow

Through the relationship we form, we stimulate in each other our shared qualities and establish a behavioral dynamic as the story lived out through the nature of our interaction. While we tend to identify consciously with one role in an interactive dynamic, the fact of the matter is, we’re developed by that dynamic, and can naturally play any role in it, and often do by moving in and out of multiple roles by how we interact. The role in that dynamic we don’t like, we deny in ourselves, and though we continue to faithfully act them out, we tell ourselves a different story about what we’re doing and the reason for doing it that makes it seem different, yet it’s producing the same response in the other, and they in return “do unto us as we have done unto them”. Then, because the illusion we’ve created around it prevents us from seeing what we’re doing that’s “causing” the same type of behaviors in others to take place all over again, we imagine it’s being done to us unfairly and without us warranting or deserving it, and so we justify our right to respond by giving them back their own medicine, without realizing that that’s what they’re doing to us, or by using it to move directly into the role we’re familiar and comfortable playing in a dynamic we are actually programmed to and acted to initiate through natural behaviors that are produced in a predictable manner by our subconscious mind.

 

For example: Those programmed with a pattern of “being rejected” (which is a universal theme), formulate this theme with twists as a particular way of being rejected, why or what it is about that causes them to be rejected, what behaviors mean rejection, what tone of voice is used and what words are specifically spoken that tell them they’re being rejected, and what behavioral dynamic is being acted out by their parents and peers that caused them to feel rejected by what story they started telling themselves as a way of making sense of it. They develop behaviors that are defensive, adaptive, and a form of self-fulfilling prophecy by what they come to believe about themselves that shapes who they become and how they create their relationships that act out the same type of dynamic over and over.
They defend themselves against whatever is the reason for being rejected, projecting and returning to others the same judgment by how they perceive them, behave and treat them that give the other person the same feeling of as the trait they were rejected for, or they over-compensate somehow and take on dramatic behaviors, or reject others before they have a chance to reject them. Some form behaviors that retaliate and fight back with anger and hostility, which of course not only rejects the person it’s being projected towards, but makes them feel uncomfortable around them and avoid them as a result, which again creates the experience of not being liked or wanted. Sometimes they continue acting out whatever behavior as the reason for being rejected in an attempt to make people accept and love them in spite of these behaviors. Or, they’ve failed to identify the behaviors that cause them to be rejected and so keep acting them out without realizing that they’re promoting their own rejection.

triple 6

Other times, we continue to act out in ways that other people perceive as being rejected by us, causing them to feel rejected, and they act in response to us by rejecting us back. All without us realizing that we were the one that rejected them first. All patterns are self-organizing and self-perpetuating become self-fulfilling. What this means is that we actually play an active role in initiating the pattern that then becomes played out that ultimately results in our being rejected or not wanted. We either do things that initiate behaviors that start the ball rolling, or we interpret their behaviors to mean we’re being rejected when that’s not at all what they mean for them. We can interpret any behavior to mean “rejection”, create the illusion of it happening (all over again) then act as if our illusions are real and a factual and objective reality that we’re accurately evaluating.

 
Other times, we interpret positive behaviors that actually are loving and affectionate in a negative way, and shun them as a result. Behaviors that might be an expression of love from another, such as touching, cuddling, openly displaying affection, telling us how much they love and care about us, becomes interpreted by us as being clingy, needy, smothering, controlling, rushing into things, or pressuring us in some way. Or we don’t trust it, and feel as if we’re being manipulated, coerced, or used somehow. Because we don’t have a model for what it feels like to be loved, desired, wanted, valued, or appreciated, we don’t know how to act in response to these, and we don’t know how to perceive then for what they are, and so we begin by perceiving them incorrectly then responding inappropriately and sabotage a situation that would have given us the experience that would have contradicted our belief about ourselves and others. In this way, we get stuck in our own patterns and just keep acting them out because they form our very perception, how we interpret things to give them meaning and form appropriate responses, and what behaviors we know how to do and do automatically.

 
Because we tend to act out the same behaviors born out of the same perceptions as a defensive mechanism, while telling ourselves that when we do the same behaviors we imagine are being done to us, we have a different reason for doing them, or because we expect to be rejected and act as if we’re being rejected even when we’re not by how we interpret their behaviors. We remain unaware of what we’re doing that’s causing us to be or feel rejected. So we keep acting out the same tendencies because we don’t realize what we’re doing, and continue to create the same experiences over and over, often throughout our entire life, without ever realizing that we’re “at cause” within our own lives, and act as a magnet for attracting those who will cooperatively act out the same dynamic with us, each time giving us the opportunity to see what “we’re” doing and what story as a theme we’re always in the process of creating through our natural way of perceiving the world and others, and how we behave as an interaction based on those perceptions.

 

Dr, Linda Gadbois

The Secret to Forgiveness – “The Key to Mind-Body Healing”

birthThe idea of forgiveness is probably one that eludes us in the most basic sense, because we approach it from the perspective of pain and suffering that we imagine someone has caused us, and believe that to forgive “them” is to somehow let go of the pain, pretend it doesn’t exist any more, or somehow condone their behavior in terms of the experience it created for us. Even when we struggle to grasp forgiveness in theory, which gives us the basis for attempting to actually “do it”, we often find that it doesn’t work, and we still hold hard feelings and pain caused by another, that still eats at us, and we can’t seem to honestly let it go in the real sense of the word.

“To forgive is to forget”

One of the hardest things to realize about this equation is that forgiveness in the ultimate sense has nothing to do with the other person or situation we think that we need to forgive, but rather about us, as seeing whatever happened as the enactment of a larger pattern as a behavioral dynamic of some sort that acts as a mirror for helping us to “see” aspects of ourselves that are normally very difficult to see. It comes through the realization that whatever takes place in a relationship or situation, that we are very much playing a “role” in that situation, and are participating in creating the experience that it affords us.

 
Our lives are psychologically governed by “patterns” as life themes that we are conditioned to in our formative years, and continue to act out in various ways through the very nature of the relationships we form and the behaviors that become immediately established through the nature of our interactions. These life themes as “dramas” usually involve ideas like: betrayal, abandonment, deception, not being worthy of love, being used, not wanted or good enough, and so on. These patterns as life dramas were being acted out within the dynamics of our immediate family, friends, and daily environment while we were growing up, in which we played a part, had a role of some kind within it, was subject to the emotions and attitudes being openly displayed. These dramas formed our everyday “normal” experiences, and in an attempt to make sense out of them, we began telling ourselves a story about them that made them “mean” something ((I’m not wanted, no matter what I do it’s not good enough, etc.) The meaning we began giving things by the story we told ourselves about what was happening and why, formed the basis of what became “our story”, that we continue to develop as we grew up by using it to interpret all of our experiences that had a strong emotional impact, making them mean the same thing, and using them as the means of creating more of the same type of experiences. The meaning we gave things in order to understand them, not only means something about the people involved, and the way the world is in general, but it means the same thing about us in the context of the story we tell ourselves about it in which we are not only the main character, but also the creator of the story as a means of creating our personal experience, and the observer who’s always “watching it” as we play it out in our imagination, subjecting our self to our own story about it over and over, seating it deeply into our subconscious, which perceives it as “real”.

mental energy
Whatever thematic pattern we’re conditioned to, we develop as the formative basis of our mental paradigm or vibratory frequency that forms our “perceptual lens” and how we interpret the events of our life just through how we perceive them. While we think we’re conditioned to only one role in a dynamic, we’re actually conditioned to the dynamic itself, and while we may relate to one role in that dynamic as a child, as we grow into an adult, we begin associating with the adult role in the same dynamic. As an adult, we can play any role in that dynamic, or even multiple roles at the same time, switching back and forth, and act to perpetuate the dynamic, initiating it by projecting it, and by the presumptions we’re always making as a form of anticipating or predicting, and the natural behaviors we employ as a result.

 
How we act when we come into relationship with others, stimulates, and calls forth the matching tendencies in them of the shared patterns, and we establish the nature of the relationship as the behaviors and attitude that forms the daily interaction where the shared theme becomes acted out in a new version. By co-creating more of the same type of experiences that leave us feeling the same way, strengthens and reinforces that dynamic in us, telling the same type of story, wrapping our identity around it to the point where it’s the only story we know how to tell. We form our mental paradigm out of that story as our “basic perception” and we can only “see” in others and situations what matches our story. We’re always in the process of telling our story through our outward persona and natural (unconscious) behaviors and general attitude, which are all natural expressions of our paradigm.

 
Because these patterns are engrained in our subconscious mind (our mind is structured by them) which forms all out natural and automatic behaviors, and how we’re “being” in terms of our energy and how we “feel” to others, we are actually vibrating to the frequency of that dynamic (pattern) and act to stimulate it in others by resonating with those that share the same tendencies and can cooperate naturally in acting out the same dynamic, giving both of us more of the same experiences through the natural interaction that takes place. All attraction is ultimately unconscious in nature, and comes through the quality of our energy as our emotional mind-set, which connects us energetically with those of the same quality of consciousness in our environment. When we connect, see each other, encounter each other, or actually meet directly and interact, we experience a pronounced chemistry as an “inner stimulation”. This feeling of having chemistry with someone, feeling attracted to them, is the experience of “resonance” as inner sensations that are arousing somehow. We are literally vibrating them, and they us, through “shared” qualities and life themes. We come together based on these shared qualities because we’re compatible for acting out the same idea together through the relationship we form.

 
Because this is all taking place at the subconscious level and comes automatically, without our direct awareness of what’s actually happening, the only way we can begin working with it consciously, is by realizing that we tend to end up in the same type of relationships with the same type of people, where the same type of experiences take place, leaving us feeling the same way. We can only act to change and evolve the stories we act naturally to tell, by gaining awareness not of the other person as separate and different from us, but as possessing and reflecting back to us the same qualities, tendencies, and relationship dynamics, that we ourselves possess. We can recognize how we feel because of the interaction, and while holding that feeling, and simply being present with it, we can see the story inherent in it as a series of associated memories.

Torus shapeWhen we change the orientation from “what they’re doing to us”, and self-reflect instead while asking ourselves “what is my part in this”? What role did I play in cooperatively acting this out to recreate my own experience? How have I felt like this before, and what story or experience was being acted out then? Is this a familiar feeling, and if so, in what way is it familiar? What memories do I naturally associate with it? And what does it remind me of? What points along the way did I get a notion or direct realization of what was happening, and what did I do or tell myself about it that explained it or made it alright and kept me “in” the relationship despite what I was realizing about how I felt? What did I sense about what was happening, and chose to pretend I didn’t notice, or interpreted it in such a way that I masked it with an illusion that secretly condoned it? What were the indications along the way that gave me a funny feeling, that I didn’t investigate or act on?

 
The true ability to forgive another comes only through the self-realization that they provide you with. They are acting as an outer mirror that’s reflecting back to you through a direct experience parts of you that you can’t see clearly or have covered over with a story about it that prevents you from seeing it for what it really is. Any relationship we participate in (which is all of them) is based on shared qualities that we have in common (which is why we relate) and the natural interaction that takes place through the expression of those shared qualities to tell a story as a joint experience. This brings whatever is “inside of us” (that we’re largely unaware of) outside of us, where we can view it through the experience of it in an objective manner (apart from us) as a “full pattern” that also contains aspects of ourselves normally hidden from us through some form of denial or suppression.

 
By realizing this, we can use our relationships and the experiences we create through them as a mirror that’s showing us who we are in our fullness. We can recognize the dynamics we are prone to and the tendencies that engage us unconsciously in cooperatively acting out those patterns in new and varied ways with new people. Once we realize “what we’re doing” in a relationship that’s cooperating in causing the events that produce emotional pain as the enactment of our life’s theme, just through the awareness itself, we are no longer “unconscious” in our own experiences, and are no longer prone to the same stimulus. We are no longer drawn into illusions through reactive behaviors, and no longer “relate” to behaviors that act to initiate those patterns, and as a result no longer need to act it out in an attempt to recognize the true reality being played out as a shared delusion.

good and bad
All healing in the ultimate sense, is becoming aware of parts of ourselves that we are not aware of in the normal sense, that play a powerful part in the life dynamics we engage in that form the basis for our experiences, and of course, give us a sense of ourselves by how we identify with our own self-created experiences. We don’t realize that we’re playing a major role in the type of people we attract and are attracted to, and the situations that naturally emerge out of the relationships we form with others. This lack of self-awareness and the tendency to project onto others by imagining that they are “doing unto us” in an unfair and unjust manner, is what keeps us expressing what we call “shadow aspects” of our personality that we continue to remain unconscious of, and therefore don’t recognize them and certainly don’t “own” them. As we begin recognizing our own tendencies in relationships and situations, and become conscious in our own life, we can see them as they’re being acted out in the moment when we’re actually in the process of “doing them”, and we no longer engage in the same manner. In that moment of awareness we realize what’s actually going on, and we’re no longer “reactive”. Because we can see it in a new light, it’s no longer compelling to us, and in that moment of calmness where we used to react, we realize that we actually have a choice in how we respond and interact. By changing our response to a person or situation, we change the dynamic that plays out, and break the pattern. The same behaviors that we used to get draw in by, no longer have the same affect, and after awhile, we don’t even notice them anymore. Once we break the pattern of our own tendencies, we don’t attract people who are living out that pattern, and no longer relate to them or have any chemistry with them. We become neutral to it.

 
Once we realize that what was holding us to the illusions of the story we were telling ourselves was the fact that we were unaware of what we were doing, and through our awareness, we can simultaneously realize that the people still acting out those stories are in fact unaware of what they’re doing. They still believe they’re real, and so honestly don’t know what they’re doing. They don’t realize that they’re living out of an illusion of their own making as the story they continue to tell themselves about everything that gives their live meaning. In this awareness, we can realize that there’s actually nothing to forgive. The idea of needing to forgive was based on an illusion and our lack of awareness. Once we are no longer participating in telling the story as a shared delusion, we are no longer affected by it. We no longer feel any residual pain, no longer suffer at someone else’s hand, and at some point, quit thinking about it all together. In the ultimate sense, we know when we’ve actually forgiven someone or some perceived act “against us”, because we literally forget about it. We no longer think about it or feel the pain it once caused, and when we do recall it, we can do so in a completely objective, matter-of-fact way. We look at it almost like we’re looking at it from a completely detached perspective where it’s no longer personal. If you’re still hanging on to something that happened “to you”, with pain, suffering, and hard feelings of any kind, it’s means you haven’t forgiven and more importantly, that you haven’t been able to realize the delusion that you yourself are involved in.
As with all things in life . . . awareness that brings self-realization is the key to healing and happiness.

 

Dr. Linda Gadbois

Transformational Coaching

Personal Transformation

Mind-Body Integration

 

About the author:
Dr. Linda is a Spiritual Scientist and scholar of Hermetic Sciences and Ancient Wisdom traditions. She’s a professional educator and trainer for all areas of personal transformation, self-creation, mind development, and soul/spiritual evolution. She practices Integrative Medicine with a special emphasis on Psychology and Creative therapies. She conducts ongoing classes, Playshops, and Adventure Seminars, and is available for private or group training, mentoring, and speaking engagements.
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