One of the most fundamental errors people make in life is that they don’t understand the most basic precepts for how to get people to behave a certain way, or directly affect their performance. We think that the way to do it is by directly “addressing” it by talking about it, pointing it out, making suggestions as to what we’d like, etc., then wonder why it not only doesn’t work, but usually tends to make it worse.
This is because what naturally produces our behaviors is our mood or the state of mind we’re in. Whatever mood we’re in, or how we’re feeling determines what we focus on, why we’re focused on it, what we tell ourselves about it and the perspective we take on as a result, and how we form a natural response to it.
The best and most immediate way to act to produce the desired behavior in someone else is to first ask yourself what state of mind would someone be in who was naturally acting / performing that way? Then, once we realize what state that is, we can ask ourselves, how can we act to intentionally influence their state of mind to produce the desired state? The most basic way we influence people is through our own state. The state we’re in when we’re around them and use to interact or communicate with them, stimulates in them the same emotional qualities, bringing them out and developing and strengthening them through continued interaction. The whole basis of communication is how we are making the person feel by the way we treat them.
When we communicate with people through a demeaning or condescending attitude that makes them “feel” a certain way, which is altering their state of mind, they not only form associations “to us” through that feeling state, but will maintain it by dwelling in it long after we’re gone. It’ll determine their attitude, what thoughts they have and the perceptions they form by creating numerous realities as imagined scenarios that will produce analogous behaviors. They will treat other people (clients) the same way out of the same attitude as we have treated them. Whatever emotional state we embody and project into the world and onto others through our presence, our perceptions and “how” we say whatever we’re saying, we act to increase and systematically produce more of it by stimulating it, calling it forth, and then co-creating out of it.
A person who’s upset or frustrated, then behaves and communicates out of that state, acts to create more of that same experience in others. Someone who’s angry and talks to someone out of anger, stimulates that same emotion in them, making them feel angry also. They not only continue to think angry thoughts, and communicate with others out of anger, but they project that anger back onto you and think angry thoughts about you. Someone who is happy or enthusiastic about something, and communicates through that state, creates the same feeling in others towards or about whatever it is they’re communicating.
This same idea is commonly referred to as creating the “culture” of a business. I call it creating the atmosphere as a general mood that’s openly displayed and created out of as a general rule of thumb. This doesn’t mean that you’re not going to have times when you feel negative emotions, we all do. It’s only natural. It simply means that you don’t go out and interact through that state and infect your entire staff with that same feeling, knowing, that they’ll probably stay in that mood for the better part of the day . . . and of course, perform and run your business out of it. Instead, you work through negative emotions in private until you can get them under control, resolve them somehow, and then readjust your attitude before coming back into a group situation. Not saying anything while still maintaining the mood is not going to work, because people can sense your energy and pick up on your emotional state just through the quality of your presence alone. By how it feels to be around you.
While we think that we can fool people by simply repressing our emotions and pretend to be in a different mood, this only creates a false front that’s confusing, because you’re acting one way, while the feeling you’re putting off is entirely different. Whatever attitude and communicative behaviors key people in an organization frequently display and create out of as a result, acts to tune all the other staff members to the same mental attitude, which can be readily felt and picked up by clients / customers. The mood they’re in determines how they act, and the experience they give the client as a result. Our state of mind and how we behave are always unified. The outer behavior is produced by the inner state as an expression of it.
So keep this in mind and learn how to use it as a tool for creating by directly influencing others in an intentional manner. Likewise, if an employee comes in to work in a bad mood, and begins influencing others through their mood, have them take a break to a private location and shake the mood before they come back to work. If they can’t, then either put them in a position that will have the least effect on others (no client contact), or consider giving them the day off! Otherwise, the effects they create as an expression of their mood could take weeks to correct, or possibly cause the loss of clients without you even knowing about it. A required standard of performance is also a required state of mind when coming to work, because they’re the same thing. It’s also a good idea to discuss this in your employee orientation or at staff meetings where you also provide them with tools for learning to manage their mood as a professional resource.
Dr. Linda Gadbois
Professional Business Consulting
About the author:
Dr. Linda is a Spiritual Scientist and scholar of Hermetic Sciences and Ancient Wisdom traditions. She’s a professional educator and trainer for all areas of personal transformation, self-creation, mind development, and soul/spiritual evolution. She practices Integrative Medicine with a special emphasis on Psychology and Creative therapies. She conducts ongoing classes, Playshops, and Adventure Seminars, and is available for private or group training, mentoring, and speaking engagements.
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