Cleansing Sexual Energy – Vibration, Attraction and Repulsion

Sexual Union

The easiest way to get a working understanding of this idea is to look at the principles governing energy as vibration. All vibration resonates with vibration of a similar nature and acts to attract, absorb and integrate it, forming coherence as a harmonious whole. All vibratory frequency exists as a range of vibration (wave-form) that forms a gravitational field with what’s of the same frequency, while acting to repel or deflect whatever is outside of its range. All vibration has a rate (speed) and mode (type) of vibration as a quality and level of consciousness that moves along a hierarchical scale as an accumulative, progressive or digressive movement from a lower (singular and separate) to a higher (unified and whole) level, within the same frequency as a wave-form.

A vibratory frequency as a pattern forms a “state of mind” as a type of personality and identity that naturally acts to initiate and cooperatively participate in certain types of stories as “life themes”. A life theme is a vibratory frequency that expresses as natural behavioral tendencies. Vibration contains a pattern that’s self-organizing, self-perpetuating, and self-sustaining. Form as a pattern is always associated with function as an operation or set of behaviors that are acted out as a behavioral dynamic. Whatever vibratory frequency we resonate at, determines the type of behavioral dynamic we participate in as a natural expression of our mode of consciousness as a “life theme”, and determines what type of people and activities we feel attracted to or repulsed by.

All subtle energy exists as a dynamic interwoven series of complementary frequencies that are comprised of attributes, qualities and properties that make up our character as our morality. The electromagnetic field of the body (individual mind), formed by subtle energy that divides into polar opposites and forms a hologram as a breathing sphere of alternating currents, is both magnetic and projective. What’s of the same nature (vibration) as we are is drawn in, absorbed, and maintained by our system, and what’s not is diffused, emitted, and repulsed. Frequency, which exists as a holistic wave of archetypal energy that forms our morality is the determining factor of what we “hold” and what we “release” from our mind and body.

The main factor in our soul’s growth and development in terms of evolutionary digression or progression is our moral nature. Our Moral values are a set of principles that we use as a means of evaluating things in order to make good decisions in terms of “good and bad” or “right and wrong”. Not as an opinion or societal rule, but as a recognition and practical application of universal law as the means of consciously self-creating. By creating a “moral code of conduct” based on an understanding and utilization of Universal laws within our everyday life, we take conscious control of regulating and determining our own vibratory frequency and personal/moral development.

Morality – Immortality and Mortality

Our morality can be thought of as a holistic idea that includes all of the factors that result in behavior, or actions, and activities of some kind, that we willingly participate in. It’s the unified expression of our mental paradigm (vibratory frequency) of what we relate to, feel a connection to, and have a desire for. It’s the end result of thoughts, feelings, emotions, and what we “blend ourselves with” as a form of inner imagining and thought process that forms the basis for our outer activities. Anything we “take into our mind” (act as a receiver and channel for) and form into an inner reality, we become one with in spirit and essence. Whatever we have an attraction for and feel an affinity with, we’re always seeking out, merging into, becoming one with, taking on the same qualities and moral characteristics.

Our mind is an electromagnetic field (EMF) of subtle energy that’s charged with and tuned to a certain vibration, and is always interacting and exchanging energy with the equivalent consciousness in everything else. We are always connecting with those of a similar nature to us, both unconsciously through a form of spontaneity, chemistry, or natural attraction, and consciously where we notice them, they stand out, and we find ourselves drawn to them. While most sexual attraction takes place predominately at the subconscious level (a part of our animal/instinctual nature), consciously we’re able to evaluate people and situations in order to make decisions as to what we engage in and what we don’t.

The Nature of Subtle Energy

Subtle energy is the invisible energy of the spiritual plane that forms the basis for the material plane as a holographic substratum. As we think, (words and images) forming ideas in our mind as a reality that provides us with an experience of it as a kind of preview, is the same as actually “doing it” in spiritual terms. Our thoughts as imagined realities (sensory experiences) are how we willfully create ourselves to vibrate at the frequency of our thoughts. As we form thoughts into realities, we have an emotional response to our own thoughts, and those harmonious emotions are the language of the lower material plane and act to connect us with everything else that’s of the same emotional state. Thoughts (spirit) and emotions (soul) are always connected and act together to produce our behavior and activities (body). Our thoughts and emotions are how we use our creative power of mind to shape matter into internal images and dialogue that forms our perceptual lens and becomes the basis for our outward expression.

We don’t necessarily generate thoughts, but act instead as a receiver for thoughts as archetypal ideas, where we become the channel for that idea to express by adapting it to our mental paradigm (vibratory frequency) where we morph it into a new variation of the same type of idea, played out through our character and within the conditions and circumstances of our everyday life, forming it into a subjective experience. Whatever we engage in morally, we enter into relationship with, blend and fuse with energetically, taking on the same consciousness and way of being. As long as we are morally in tuned to the activity as a relationship that we use to experience ourselves, we “hold” or exist as that same energy and consciousness, and it continues to express through us by governing and directing our thoughts, emotional states, and what we’re prone to in terms of behavioral tendencies.

Temperament, Disposition and Tendencies 

To have a tendency towards something means that we are of the same nature as it is. You’ll have a tendency, under the right conditions, to actively engage in in certain types of behaviors in a consistent and predictable manner. Whatever we feel a connection to and a desire for; we vibrate at the same frequency. Our temperament and disposition is what we’re prone to, and is an inherent part of our nature which is what serves to form our character. Whatever we willingly engage in, shows us in very certain terms what our moral values are. We never act either consciously or unconsciously to violate our moral values. Any activity that we engage in, fits within our moral values, and we can justify our right to do it by how we look at it, and what we tell ourselves about it that makes it okay. Our actions (whether deliberate or compulsive) show us what our tendencies are in very clear terms, and what we’re naturally feel “tempted by”. It shows us what we can reasonably justify and feel validated in doing under the right circumstances and conditions.

Our moral nature is our energetic, spiritual, vibratory frequency that forms resonance with everything that’s of the same nature as we are. Whenever we engage in an act with someone, we are being the same type of person, and we share the same type of consciousness. If we go out to a bar or social activity and pick-up someone with the intention of having sex with them, we are morally equivalent to that person. We mix energetically (consciously) with them, and everybody else that they have had sex with, which is probably quite a few. Likewise, they’re acquiring all the moral energy of everyone we’ve ever had sex with. Sex is a direct exchange of energy as a “fusion” – symbolized not only by the nature of the act itself as entering into and becoming one with that person (swapping body fluids as seed and egg), but through the climax or orgasm, where all resistance subsides completely, and a form of expansion and integration takes place. Anytime we have sex with someone we don’t really know very well, we’re opening ourselves up to a vast array of unknown possibilities as moods and emotions that alter our state of mind.

As long as we’re of the same moral nature as the people we had sex with, performing the same activities and tendencies, we still carry their energy. As long as we still have a desire for the person or act itself, we maintain an energetic equivalent and bond. Their energy, as their morality, lives in us, because we’re the same way. When we consciously become aware of what’s  really going on, and the nature of our moral code of conduct that we hold ourselves to as a basic means of self-creating at the energetic level, we begin loosening up the acquired energy, allowing it to discharge, and we begin repelling it. As long as we still feel a desire for the person or act (sex with a stranger, cheating and infidelity, sex with someone we don’t love, etc.) we still act as a magnet or carrier wave for their energy. Like always attracts to and creates more of what’s like itself. By losing our desire for it (them), our connection with it, where we quit thinking about it altogether, we become of a different moral nature and vibratory frequency, and we no longer maintain the energy through resonance.

Once we lose our desire for it, where we no longer see it as pleasurable, we’re no longer tempted by it. Anything that tempts you, you still have a desire for and connection to. Anything that you continue thinking about while experiencing strong emotions, you continue holding the energy of that vibration. Energy as emotion (energy in motion) is directed by and flows into thought. What we think about is the result or expression of our vibratory frequency. In order to clear yourself of certain experiences, you have to see it in such a way that it’s no longer pleasurable and desirable, but rather disgusting and repulsive. Where you are no longer tempted by it and have no trouble at all refraining from it, and it no longer controls your thoughts. You know you’ve cleared energy from your system when you no longer think about it or act unconsciously to create yourself by way of the activities involved and the experience it brings.

Dr. Linda Gadbois

Integrative Mind-Body Consultant and Spiritual Mentor

How to not be Affected by Others – Learning how to see Things as they Really Are

All Perception is Self-Perception as an Outer Reality

One of the greatest powers we can learn in life is how to gain full control over ourselves and our perception of others. By becoming aware of how we form perceptions, and act to create our experiences, we can simultaneously realize the true nature of other people’s perception of us. Through self-awareness of how our mind works to shape our experience of reality and of others, we can become clear on the reality of other people’s perception of us. All perception is a product of the mind forming it as a form of self-perception. We only see and experience in others and the material world around us what’s of the same “nature” (frequency) as we are. We’re only able to perceive in others the same qualities and characteristics that we ourselves possess. To perceive is to (re)create in our image and with our likeness. Perception is an interpretation that reformulates basic qualities into a new pattern or idea, changing how it appears, and creating our experience of it which is “subjective” in nature. All reality as we’re capable of knowing it is subjective, which means we create it as a personal version out of our feelings that we then use to create ourselves by how we experience our own creation. Every function of the mind is an act of self-expression and self-creation.

All experience is formed through a relationship between our inner self and our outer world. The inner self as the subconscious mind is comprised of a dynamic network of values, beliefs, preferences, attitudes, fears, desires, emotional states, conditioned patterns, and memories that form our paradigm (mental model) as a “filtering system” that we use to view and interpret life with. As we place our attention on something, we’re filtering the information received through our mental model, and we change how it appears to make it “like us” (of the same nature). We conform everything to be a reflection of ourselves. To be what we believe about them instead of what they actually are in the objective sense as being “a part from us”, and therefore different from us. We change how everything seems to match our feelings, beliefs, values, preferences and attitude about them.

Our mind as a vibratory energy field blends and merges into everything around us through resonance, and only “sees” what’s of the same frequency or nature as we are. Perception is a form of interpretation that uses our model as the basis for explaining, describing, and understanding things. What’s different from us, or outside of our range of vibration, we don’t notice, and literally can’t comprehend. Our energy as an electromagnetic energy field merges into theirs, activating and bringing out what’s of the nature as qualities and characteristics, while causing other aspects to become inactive and recede, reshaping them to be of the same frequency or nature as we are. We “remix” everything by rearranging the attributes, qualities, and characteristics it outwardly displays. We energetically reformulate everything to be of the same vibratory pattern, nature, and behaviors as we are. We are all ingrained with certain dynamics as conditioned life themes that we use to interpret other people’s behaviors.

Attention is an active and antagonistic force that vibrates some aspects but not others. This is self-evident in the realization that we’re always acting on others through the relationship as an interaction we form with them to bring out certain qualities and ways of being. Paying attention to them, or just being in near proximity of another energy field forms a subliminal interaction as a “stimulus-response” mechanism, that merges into an alters the vibration of both through shared qualities that become amplified and accentuated, while others recede and become temporarily dormant. Energy is always interacting subliminally in the same way an actual interaction works. We’re always stimulating others, affecting and influencing them to become more like us. We’re always acting on everything else energetically creating them and everything around us to be of the same nature (vibration) as we are. Like always begets more of what’s like itself. Subtle energy as consciousness works in an unconscious as well as direct manner to vibrate and bring into an active and expressive state what’s of the same nature as it is. Whatever is different from it, isn’t recognized or activated, and returns to a passive state, all of which change how it appears, behaves, and expresses as a “way of being”.

Once we understand this basic law of the mind as resonance, sympathetic induction, and coherence, we can realize not only the true nature of our own judgments and what they reveal about “us”, but also the true nature of other people’s perception of us. How they “see us” and the interpretation they form of us, in reality, says nothing about us, but simply reveals who and how they are. Its shows us their mental paradigm that reforms us according to their own beliefs, fears, desires, preferences, and so on. We see the world through the dynamic patterns of our conditioning which forms the vibratory structure of our mind as our paradigm or “model of the world”, that we use to form ourselves, others, and the world at large to all be of the same nature as a thematic idea.

One of the things that makes this difficult to fully grasp in the practical sense, is that our “nature” as qualities and characteristics that we possess, are dual or polar in nature and have both conscious and unconscious aspects to them. A pattern as a dynamic that plays out an idea both inwardly and outwardly, is created through multiple roles that oppose yet complement each other, and act to stimulate and interact with each other to create the same idea as an experience of reality. So what we “see in others” is a projection of our own unconscious aspects that have a complementary role in playing out the same idea as a theme, as our conscious (aware) aspects.

All of life consists of patterns that form both inner and outer realities as a thematic idea. A person who is consciously expressing the mentality of being a “victim”, also possesses the “victimizer” at the unconscious level, because it’s a role in the same pattern, and projects onto and sees the qualities and tendencies of the victimizer in everyone else, while simultaneously attracting (resonating) them. When they encounter those qualities of a victimizer in another, they’re stimulated (resonate with) by them, and experience “chemistry” with them, and they enter into relationship with them based on their shared frequency, and together, through the relationship that’s formed, together as a form of partnership, act out the same idea playing opposite, yet complementary roles. Because we possess the “whole pattern” as a dynamic or frequency of victim / victimizer, or abused and abuser, with one being conscious and the other unconscious, we actually move back and forth between both roles, and act to be abusive also as unconscious tendencies or behaviors, while perceiving it as being something else based on what we tell ourselves about why we’re doing it that makes it seem different. Because of this, we remain unaware of our own tendencies that we imagine instead exist in the other person and a part from us, or see them as being of a different nature than we are.

Our vibratory frequency as indigenous emotional states and conditioned patterns as life dynamics, form our perceptual lens as a filtering system that sees in others and everything else what’s of the same dynamic and inner nature as the one we’re programmed with. How we see others is a direct reflection of our own unconscious aspects as a mental projection that acts like an activating system. We change how others are being, what qualities they express, and how they appear through an energetic interaction of consciousness as vibration that acts to vibrate the same frequency in everything else. All reality as we are capable of knowing it is subjective in nature, meaning it’s based on and influenced or formed by personal feelings, tastes, and opinions, and is a product of the mind creating it as a vibratory match. While we know (or think we know) there’s an objective reality, because we all appear to be seeing the same fundamental elements and objects, how we experience them, what we notice or don’t notice, what we emphasize or ignore, are all different as a match to the mind sensing and viewing it.

So what this tells us, is that someone else’s perception, interpretation, or opinion of us, says nothing about us in the real sense of things, but simply reveals who and how they are. It shows us, if we care to know, what their model of the world is and their formative conditioning as issues and tendencies. All we’re ever actually doing is expressing who and how we are as a person. We see and interact with complementary components of our own vibratory patterns as life dynamics and emotional themes. Our unconscious aspects are always being projected onto others and reflected back to us, which is what allows us to identify our own unconscious and hidden nature. Whatever we’re acting out intentionally with full awareness, we also possess the complementary opposite, and see and interact with that in everything else as a means of creating our experience of reality.

In a like manner, we can look at our own judgment with the same awareness, and self-reflect to realize what they’re showing us about ourselves. Whatever value judgments we place on others and see them through, are showing us unconscious and hidden aspects of ourselves. Aspects that we’ve been conditioned with, that were repressed in some manner due to guilt, shame, rejection, or some other bad feeling, that we began denying we had while building up a defense around them, and so they remain fully operational internally as unconscious aspects forming the perceptual lens we look through to see others. The perceptual lens we look through to perceive others assigns those same unconscious qualities to them, that we then contrast and compare ourselves to be “different” and not of the same nature, and therefore qualified to judge and persecute in the same manner we were judged and persecuted.

This law works both ways, as the means of understanding what other people’s model is through their perception of us, and as a means of recognizing our own unconscious aspects through our perception of them. In knowing this, and fully understanding it, we’ll never again be affected by someones opinion of us. Unless of course, we choose to be. We’ll realize that we can’t be hurt by another person because we’re the ones creating the experience as an inner reaction of being hurt, by what is in reality an illusion as a mental projection. We’ll be able to stand in the face of criticism, blame, and antagonism while remaining calm, unaffected, indifferent, and in control. When we don’t let someones projections enter into and affect (infect) us, we serve as a mirror that reflects back to them the true reality of what they’re doing. It’s only when we allow them to influence us by investing a belief in their illusion of us, and we react in kind by energetically absorbing it, that we validate them and make it real by participating in the reality of it.

Through realization we create an energetic barrier that prevents their energy from entering into us, infecting us with a mental delusion, and controlling us by altering our state to match theirs. By realizing what’s really going on, we are no longer controlled by the opinions and behaviors of others, and maintain a sense of inner calm and peace. We can remain in full control of ourselves while deflecting and reflecting back to them, in very clear terms, their own unconsciousness. This is the true meaning of compassion. Remaining separate from other people’s illusions, not forming any kind of sympathy or reaction to them, which is what allows them to see that they actually are, an illusion of their own making. Nothing is real unless two or more people appear to be experiencing the same reality.

Self-mastery is obtained by gaining a thorough understanding of the universal laws of the mind and using them through practical application to become mentally and emotionally invincible, while gaining deep forms of self-awareness and self-realization that empowers us to correct our own errors in thinking and perceiving. We can only work in a conscious and intentional manner with what we’re aware of and understand in practical terms. Through self-awareness we can begin working with ourselves to resolve and transform our own unconscious tendencies and bring shadow aspects hidden deep within the darkness of our own mind out into the light where we can see them for what they are, a part of our own creation as a delusion. In healing our own unconscious tendencies through awareness of them, we alter the vibratory structure of our mind, reforming our paradigm, and change how the outer world appears to us, and how it influences and affects us as a result. We can come to know ourselves through the world we live in as our perception of it, which contains both conscious and unconscious aspects of the same reality.

Dr. Linda Gadbois

Integrative Mind-Body Health Consultant and Spiritual Mentor

Love, Desire, and Union – The Nature of the Ego and how we Shape Ourselves

vesica-pisces       Whatever idea we accept, believe, and use to perceive ourselves through, we become like, and we shape ourselves into the image of it. We’re always creating our self-image by what we associate with and mold ourselves to be like. There has been a great misinterpretation of the term “ego”, which is the identity or the “I” and “I am” which is our spiritual self that gives us our individuality. Our identity in terms of “who” and “how” we are being, comes through association and what we align ourselves with and become by way of. Whatever we become a part of, merge into and actively participate in, we become “like”. As we become one with another through the relationship we form with them, the nature of the interaction and how we sense ourselves through the interaction, we sense ourselves through, and it serves to shape us.

Whatever we blend with, merge into, and form a relationship with where we are actively participating in a dynamic of some sort that’s born out of a quality of consciousness and level of maturity, stimulates and brings out in us certain aspects of our character that are complementary in nature, and we “become” a variation of ourselves as a new mixture or formula of traits, based on what’s emphasized and what’s not, and through this new version of ourselves, we develop ourselves in that way. The longer and more consistently we maintain and exist within the relationship or situation, the more conditioned or habituated we become to “being that way”. To playing that role, to looking at life through a particular attitude and perspective that as it changes our perception of life, it simultaneously changes our perception of ourselves. As our perception changes and we have a particular type of experience by actively participating in a certain way of being, we “become” by way of the experience it creates.

Our identity is either something we take control of and determine, or it’s something we go through automatically or in an unconscious manner by simply floating along in life, doing what we need to do, and haphazardly “ending up” in the situations that lend themselves to fulfilling needs and desires of some sort without any actual realization of what we’re doing. In this way we form our entire identity out of other people and situations, our material possessions and station in life, and the roles we play. Many people don’t really have a strong our clear sense of who they are or feel a distinct purpose for their life when they’re all alone, and look for a relationship with another person or situation to wrap themselves around and build their life around. They need another person to tell them who they are by acting as a mirror for them, or through the nature of the interaction that takes place, how they’re treated, how they feel about themselves because of the other, and what type of dynamic as a thematic or dramatic story of some kind that they cooperate in playing out as a joint experience.


Like always begets more of what’s like itself, and so we are attracted to those who are of a compatible and complementary nature to us, and who have been conditioned and imprinted with the same “issues or tendencies” as we have, and who cooperate fully in acting out the same dynamics in a somewhat unique and novel way. This cooperative effort sets the stage for giving us the type of experience that we know and are familiar with, and know “how to be” in relationship with. Those who are of a different nature than we are, we don’t naturally enter into relationship with, and if we do, it doesn’t last very long.

Anytime we’re forming our identity out of the material realm in some form, we act on ourselves to bond ourselves energetically to the material realm, which is mortal in nature, and temporary at best. When we rely on others, our situations and circumstances to tell us who we are, we engage in a real fundamental form of false identity. We equate ourselves to our animal (lower) nature, and by bonding with our material identity, we keep ourselves reincarnating into a material body and we fail to ascend. We fail to accurately recognize our true identity as spiritual beings, and we become instead, our lower self.

Whatever we love, we also desire, and what we desire we seek union with. Desire is another phenomena that has been greatly misinterpreted to mean something bad or wrong. Yet desire, like ego, and every other concept, exists in polarity as opposites that are complementary in nature. All ideas that we engage in on the material plane also works on the higher planes as a direct correspondence. The way in which we monitor and develop ourselves is by whatever we love, have a desire for, and willingly form union with. As we unite, we calibrate our vibratory frequency to the same quality and level of consciousness. The true question becomes what is it that we love and are always acting to seek out? If we love our material existence, believe that we’re our body, and get our sense of self from material things that are outside of us that can be lost, taken away, or die, then we tune ourselves to the vibration of being mortal. We live in a constant state of insecurity and fear. Love always brings fear. Love and fear are complementary opposites in a world of temporary ideas that all end with the death of the body. Whatever we acquire physically, we shed and step out of at the death of the body, and so it’s not eternal in nature. We lose our sense of self, and immediately look to incarnate again into a new material body as a means of self-expression and being able to know who we are.


Likewise, when we form a love for the spiritual world and the things of the spiritual world, we desire and long for it, we unite with it, and we “become” by way of the union. Our spiritual identity as our soul, apart from our body, is not external to us or apart from us, is not found outside of us, but is completely of an internal nature. Which means, it can’t be taken away, we can’t lose it, and when the material body dies, it remains fully intact and able to ascend to a higher plane of spirit by resonating with that plane because it’s no longer bonded to the material world. Our spiritual nature does not depend on material ideas, and comes primarily by developing our character as qualities that we embody, that act to change our perceptual lens and how we’re being in the world. As we develop ourselves by habituating qualities as ways of being, it changes how we perceive and experience things, and alters, modifies, or grows our level of consciousness accordingly. This type of growth is actual and real, and once it becomes a part of us, it’s within our full control and cannot be taken away or threatened. It becomes a permanent part of who we are.

Because loss and compromise are no longer a possibility, all fear dissipates, and we love, desire, blend and bond with our true nature, and in doing so dissolve our attachments and connections to the material world. We exist in a totally self-contained manner, secure and content. We experience ourselves as “being in this world but not of it”. We identify instead with our spiritual nature, and desire union with God as our Higher Self, instead of with another human being or life situation. We lose our desire for all things material and become instead a channel for good to work in the world. We no longer feel a need for someone or something to tell us who we are, we no longer look to fill a need or want of some sort, we no longer need to try and control others and situations, or always acting out of a selfish agenda of some sort, and so we work instead as an administrator that works exclusively for the good of everyone involved. We become universal in nature, instead of identifying with our body. We become non-local instead of local. We have no needs of the material world outside of caring for our body and well-being. We place ourselves at the service to humanity instead of expecting humanity to serve us.


Dr. Linda Gadbois

Integrative Health Consultant and Spiritual Mentor



Conscious Relationships that Serve your Spiritual Development

Spiritual Sciences, which is all about personal growth and development, doesn’t view the idea of relationships in the same way that many other spiritual or religious traditions do. Being of a scientific nature, it looks more at the true nature of relationships, and what they serve to produce in us as a cause and effect relationship, and how that develops certain aspects of our character as a result. To gain awareness of the nature and value of our relationships, we have to notice how people affect us, how they interact with us as a dynamic, and how they influence us by directing our mind to certain types of ideas fashioned out of specific attitudes. Our relationships tune us to certain types of energy, attitudes and perspectives (the one they naturally employ), and we take on the same feelings and emotions and begin experiencing life from a similar point of view. Sometimes this forms insights that come from looking at things in a whole new way, and other times it can be degrading, irritating, or discouraging, because it causes you to step into parts of yourself or ways of being that you don’t like, and so it can have a repulsive feeling. Either way, just pay attention to it.

Conscious relationships are engaged in with full awareness of not only the dynamics being played out in a subliminal manner, but also what the interaction is acting to bring out in you, how you’re feeling, and what kind of person you become because of the relationship. As a general rule, you should set standards for yourself, for your own growth, development, and well-being that you commit to always honoring no matter what other form of temptation may be involved. Usually what happens, is we have no real vision or idea for ourselves and our life, we’re not clear on our values and what type of things are important to us, we haven’t set standards for ourselves, and we haven’t really ever learned the “lesson” that previous relationships offered us because we didn’t know how to properly look at them.

The only true “value” of a relationship of any kind, is how it serves to develop you by way of the psychology involved, and what parts of you it serves to naturally bring out and develop into a habitual state through the nature of the interaction that takes place. Our mental paradigm as the vibratory structure of our mind that forms our inner nature and how we’re always being naturally, acts in a natural fashion through resonance, to activate, bring to the immediate foreground, and interact with the “same qualities and characteristics” in everything else that we ourselves possess. We’re always “acting on” and influencing everyone else to be like us, to vibrate at the same frequency because that’s the only thing we’re capable of. Whatever we vibrate, we serve to awaken and bring out in everything else, both unconsciously and consciously.


When we intentionally try to pretend and come across as though we’re different than we really are, put our best foot forward so to speak, we send mixed messages that become confusing, and therefore revealing. Even when we pretend to be something we’re not, we still act subconsciously to bring out in others the complementary aspects of our own true nature, through how we “feel”, what our energy is communicating and what emotions we appeal to in them. So anytime internal feelings don’t match external appearances or how someone’s presenting themselves, we know it’s a false front design to create an illusion in place of the truth. We always know if somethings true and therefore real by how it feels. Feelings never lie. The lie comes into play when we sense what’s really going on, but choose to lie to ourselves about it by playing along with the illusion or false front being presented in place of the truth.

Nobody ever really has the ability to lie to us, because we’re always sensing the energy about people, things, and places, and we “agree to lie to ourselves” and build a make-believe reality around it that becomes shattered at some point when what you knew subtlety becomes obvious and you can’t deny it any longer. Then you feel “as if” the other person committed a crime against you, when in reality, you’re the one who chose to play along and pretend not to notice what was coming up as constant “red flags” or subtle nuances, or moments where the truth came through in an unsuspecting manner and you glimpsed it briefly. We often doubt our own intuition and inner knowing about things in favor of trusting the false façade being fabricated, then create the illusion of being deceived by the other, when in truth, we agreed to let them deceive us and actively participated in acting it out as a joint experience.

Different relationships also serve different stages of our growth, while not serving others. So certain relationships may only be valuable to us through those stages of our life, which we then dissolve when moving into other stages where they no longer serve our growth, which will require a different type of relationship that’s appropriate for the qualities and aspects of our character we wish to develop through those stages. Often, the relationship which is ideal for raising children, for example, is appropriately maintained during the family years, and has run its course when the children are grown and gone, and as you move into a stage of your life where your main focus is your spiritual growth, that same relationship may not serve that at all, and it may require a new relationship that will serve to stimulate and develop in you the qualities necessary. Likewise, relationships where one person continues growing and the other one doesn’t, or one grows in a different direction than the other and a “disconnect” takes place, the relationship may not be of value any longer for either person.


In order to become fully conscious in your life and in your relationships, you have to first have a very clear idea of what your goals are for your soul’s development, and what it is you want to intentionally engage in developing in yourself in order to meet those goals. You have to have a clear idea of what your “standards” are and your “moral code of conduct”, and you have to be prepared to honor it at all times, no matter what. Once we begin compromising standards and negotiating values, we begin building an illusion in place of truth, internal conflict sets in, and it never works for very long. We have to always be prepared to honor ourselves above all others, because we’re talking about our “soul” and our soul development is the only real purpose to life in the ultimate sense.

In terms of romantic or long-term relationships, lifestyle needs to be a major consideration.  Most spiritual practice has a very distinct lifestyle associated with it, and if your lifestyles aren’t compatible, it’s going to be problematic, especially as time goes on. Naturally, you have to make sure your values are in alignment and that you’re aware of each others spiritual and life goals. Anytime we go against someone’s values, or have different values that contradict and undermine theirs, we’ll have serious problems, and of course the relationship will only serve to pull us away from our goals instead of taking us deeper into them. Our goals don’t have to be overly defined or distinct in material terms, but rather in personal terms of our soul’s growth and development as our character and identity. Life merely acts to set the stage and provide the means for us to create ourselves by who we become in relationship with it. In every moment we’re deciding who we are and who we’re going to be in relationship with others and our environment. How we create ourselves is the only thing that’s eternal and permanent, everything else in the material world is temporary and transitional.

So as a few general rules as guidelines for a relationship:

  • Work on becoming self-aware before you look to get into a relationship. Don’t look for your identity in a relationship, or try to wrap yourself around the other person in hopes of finding your identity. Know yourself first and above all.
  • Create an “ideal” for yourself (qualities and characteristics), and design goals that are necessary for their achievement. Let those same qualities and characteristics be your guide for consciously choosing the other person because they possess those same qualities and will act to bring them out and develop them in you.
  • Set standards for yourself as necessary levels of consciousness, character traits, or behaviors the other person must possess. As correlating to the ones you naturally possess and uphold in your own life.
  • Develop a “moral code” that you hold yourself to in regulating your own behavior and what you will or won’t participate in, and never be willing to compromise it.
  • Get a very clear idea of your lifestyle and what daily practices are important to you. The other person must be compatible and into the same type of lifestyle.
  • Let go of any preconceived ideas about what they need to look like or how they need to show up, and instead tune into how you feel when you’re present with them.
  • As you begin interacting, get a feel for their moral values by how they conduct themselves with you when you’re first getting to know them, not by what they say, but by what they actually do, how they do it, and why.
  • Stay aware always of how you’re feeling inside in response to them.
  • Notice what qualities they bring out in you, and what kind of person you become when you’re with them.
  • Allow yourself to intuitively recognize the dynamics that become established almost immediately, this will show you what the shared issues as a“theme” or story expressed through the relationship will be.
  • Pay close attention to how they conduct themselves in the beginning (do they ‘hit on you”, are they flirtatious, is sex and intimate affection immediately involved), it’ll not only reveal their values, but it’ll show you what they’ve done in previous relationships or as a general rule.
  • Listen carefully to how they describe their previous relationships. This will tell you what their relationship style is, what their model naturally acts to create and participate in, what their issues and tendencies are, and what type of relationships they’re conditioned to and will act to create with you. Notice the “quality” of people they’ve been with, because you’ll be in that same category, and they’ll act to bring out those same qualities in you (although they may not be aware that they’re doing that).
  • Resist the tendency to be infatuated or fall in love to quickly, so you can stay of a rational mind and good judgment until you get to know them well enough you can see how they really are, and what they’ll serve naturally to bring out in you.
  • The minute red flags come up, acknowledge and address them, don’t glaze over, choose not to notice, or explain them away. Gain clarity around them in order to understand what they’re about, and openly discuss them to create a feeling of awareness and intimacy. Don’t ever make assumptions, get the facts.
  • Only be with people who elicit a feeling of reverence, admiration, respect, adoration, compassion, and so on. These feelings produce very positive state of mind, and you act to bring out in them only the character traits that warrant these feelings, as well as create experiences that give you more of those same feelings.

Always view an intimate relationship as a tool for transformation, and go into them in a cognizant and aware manner. Always be open and discuss things freely as a way of establishing and understanding between you. True love comes only through understanding, relating, and feeling like you honestly “know” the other person. Always be honest and forthright, and don’t hide things. Trust is the foundation the relationships is built on, and once trust is violated, it can never really be established again. You have to take care of the relationship right from the beginning, and always nurture honesty and being above board, and transparent. Never be afraid to be yourself as you truly are, because that’s the most basic form of honesty. If you can’t be who and how you really are, then that alone tells you everything you need to know about yourself and the other person. Stay within your own “class” or league, engage with those who are equivalent, because this will become an important factor as the relationship goes on.

Above all, know yourself and who you’re in the process of becoming, and only associate with people who act naturally to facilitate your growth and bring out your very best traits, and cause you to want to be a “better person” because of them.

Dr. Linda Gadbois

The True Reality of Forgiveness – Waking up in the Midst of Your Own Dream

A Problem can’t be Solved from the Same Mind that Created it . . .

In order to truly understand the reality of forgiveness, we have to look squarely at the nature of what we call “reality”. Reality, in the general sense that it’s commonly used, is whatever we perceive as being “real” in terms of what we naturally “see” in any situation, what we have a shared belief around, and what we automatically engage in with others who willingly participate in co-creating the same type of reality with us. What’s real to us is a product of our own “quality of consciousness” as our “state-of-mind” which acts naturally to generate different “versions of reality” as the outer expression of our inner dialogue that forms pictures in our imagination. Our reality, as the creation and expression of our consciousness, is formed out of the “perceptual lens” that we “look through” as the means of “seeing” the outer world and interpreting it in a way that gives it the same meaning as our internal world. We’re always in the process of telling ourselves a story about what things mean that forms and expresses our relationship with everything in the world around us. What we “see” in any situation is of the same level and quality of consciousness as we are, and we act naturally to tell the same type of story by living it out through drama’s and the behaviors that ensue from those dramas through the activities that are naturally inherent in our “story”. We literally shape ourselves through the type of story we’re always in the process of telling by how we live our life.

We create a specific “type of reality” as an expression of our consciousness that’s a form of “illusion”  constructed out of our “belief system” as an interrelated series of harmonious patterns that form an overall theme as our Soul’s vibratory frequency. A frequency is formed out of interwoven correlated vibrations (range of vibration) and contains a “thematic pattern” along with a self-organizing mechanism that works through a series of “filters”  to “select” only the parts of a greater whole that can be harmoniously used to create a specialized pattern. All qualities and levels of consciousness vibrate at specific frequencies that systematically order, organize, and project reality as the theme inherent in that frequency. These patterns which are a fundamental aspect of consciousness as our soul’s memory are creative in nature and generate thematic realities as our perception. This means that our vibratory frequency is a quality and level of consciousness as primarily a belief system or series of interrelated and congruent patterns that all create a cohesive and consistent version of reality as a “life theme” or consistent drama that we perceive naturally, attract and are attracted to, and are always in the process of acting out as a certain “type of experience” with those of the same consciousness and thematic patterning as we are.

We naturally engage in these correlated dramas with others because they’re our “own creation” and therefore seem real to us and have a direct affect us as a result. We have strong feelings and memories associated with them that keep us in a constant state of reacting to them. Whether we perceive them in a pleasurable and profound way, or a painful and destructive way doesn’t really matter, because we’ve shaped our identity around them by playing them out as life dramas to create specific types of experiences. Because we’re immediately effected by them and always in a reactive state in relation with them, they always have a significant impact on us in terms of our identity and development. Because our perception of reality is actually our own creation, we think tit’s real in the objective sense, and don’t initially realize that we are in fact the one creating it by what we choose to focus on, think about, and imagine as a living scenario.

Due to the fact that the inner and outer reality is actually a continuation of the same idea as a life theme (smaller pattern playing out within a larger pattern of the same kind and type), we respond to the outer stimulus in an intimate manner and create the experience of everything “happening to us” from an outside source that’s beyond our ability to control it. Our experiences arise from a predominantly unconscious state that’s based on the illusion of separation, because separation is necessary as the means of experiencing “our self through another”, and as a means of shaping ourselves through an ongoing drama that’s produced by our own creative imagination. While we tend to think that our memories of the past are based on an accurate account of actual events, they’re not, they’re based on our “interpretation” of actual events that created how we “experienced” those events based on the “meaning” we gave them. Out of meaning comes the moral of the story we begin fashioning of ourselves as a means of shaping our identity by how we get a “sense of ourselves” within our own self-made experiences of a greater reality that’s a projection and reflection of our inner reality.

perception as creation

As long as we maintain the illusion of separation and don’t realize that others are reflecting back to us the complementary aspects of our own hidden nature that we’re fundamentally unaware of, we continue to create the same type of experiences with others where we perceive them as being able of hurt or attack us, or ultimately act to shape and determine us through their behaviors and how they treat us. It’s easy to find this idea confusing because the traits someone else displays in “hurting us” aren’t traits we possess our self in the direct sense, but are complementary traits necessary to activate the traits in us that cause us to self-inflict our own pain. If I have a life-theme as a story about myself as “not being good enough”, I naturally attract and enter into relationship with people who will somehow treat me in a way that causes me feel as if I’m not good enough. They will play the complementary role in keeping my pain active and alive. In the higher sense of the idea, they are acting as a “mirror” that’s allowing me to “see” what’s inside of me that I have come to interpret as not being good enough, but due to the fact that this has become a core belief for me, meaning it was formed as a part of my formative conditioning, I simply replay the pattern in my mind as a memory and continue to inflict myself with the pain it causes. I’ll continue to create the same type of reality over and over again until I’m able to wake-up in my own delusion and realize that I’m the one doing it to myself. Once I’m able to become aware of the pattern I’m conditioned with due to the fact that it’s intimately familiar and I can relate it back to numerous other memories of the same kind, I can gain self-realization around my own repressed memories, and they begin dissolving as a consequence. 

Due to the fact that we have a “shared belief” in creating the same type of reality together, we’re constantly acting on ourselves to validate and reinforce our beliefs by attracting to the same type of people and creating the same type of experiences over and over again. Because they’re treating us the same way we were treated in the past, we believe it must be true about us, and we dwell in the pain it causes as a result of our own ignorance, and we give them power over us in being able to shape and determine us. We then struggle with the idea of what it means to actually “forgive them” for the perceived pain they’ve caused us instead of realizing that they’re caught up in their own delusions, and like us, don’t really know what they’re doing. They live out of their painful memories and conditioning just like we do without actually realizing it. We unconsciously form an idea of what it means to forgive them from the same perspective and mind-set of the perceived injury, which, of course, is impossible to do. We somehow think that in order to forgive someone we have to condone their behavior by saying “it’s alright” and it doesn’t matter, instead of realizing that they have actually served to show us our own tendencies that prevent us from seeing the truth in situations, or have allowed us to touch on a part of us that normally remains obscure and shadowy while still active within us. 

As we become aware of our own tendencies in any situation and can honestly begin realizing that the story we’re telling ourselves about another, about what happened, what they did to us, how they hurt us, and so on, is actually an illusion as a story that we made up about it in order to shape how we experience it. While we can have a tendency to believe that “experience” is objective in nature and something that happens outside of our control, nothing could be further from the truth.  All we have to do in order to see this idea clearly is to realize that no one focuses our attention for us, feels our feelings, or thinks our thoughts, or tells us how to behave, “we” are the only one who’s doing it. As you think about an experience with someone that greatly upset you, just take a moment and distance yourself from the memory itself, and remove all of your attention from the other person, and focus instead on what it brought alive inside of you. Not the emotions that were immediately triggered, the feelings that swelled up in your chest, what memories you immediately associated to it, and what you started telling yourself about it that made it mean whatever it meant to you. What did it “show you” about others, the world in general, and about you in relation with it.

After allowing it to rise up full blown and play out in your mind as you actually experienced it, subdue the emotions playing out, and using only your rational mind, analyze it. Dissect it based solely on your own internal experience and allow realizations to form around it in terms of other experiences you’ve had of a similar nature or outcome. Don’t try to control it in any way, just watch it play out while witnessing it from a detached and unemotional perspective. Once we can begin realizing that we are actually the one creating our own experiences based on whatever dynamics we’ve been programmed with, we begin comprehending what’s going on from an intuitive perspective as a larger, ongoing pattern. Anytime we find ourselves “blaming” other people for our own feelings and actions, it’s a sign that we’re in the process of creating an illusion that exonerates us from our own responsibility in being able to manage our own mind, emotions, and imagination. A red flag is raised drawing our attention to the fact that we’re in the process of fooling ourselves and avoiding responsibility for our own part in things.

When we perceive being hurt by someone, we have to simultaneously realize what our part was in co-creating the situation by participating in the dynamic that was played out. Anytime we feel betrayed by someone we have to self-reflect and bring into conscious awareness all the times we had notions and funny feelings that seemed to contradict what we were being told, and all the times when little red flags went up, and even though we noticed them and thought about them briefly, we chose to explain them away or justify them somehow, pushing them to the background, and continued forward in creating an illusion in place of the truth. The pain from our experiences comes exclusively by how we’re using our own mind to produce an imaginary reality as a story we tell ourselves about what happened, why, and what it means about us as a result. The pain we feel doesn’t come from the act itself, which is ultimately neutral in nature and lacks meaning, it comes from how we represent the idea to ourselves internally based on the meaning we give it. In this sense, all of our pain and suffering are self-administered and self-sustained. No one is ever “doing anything to us”, outside of actual physical violence, it’s always us who’s doing it to ourselves by how we operate our mind to form an internal representation that we use as the means of telling ourselves a story about it.

All activities are meant to show us our own hidden (unconscious) nature, and to provide us with valuable lessons on how to create our life in a more beneficial and constructive manner.  If we remove ourselves from the emotions being activated and all of our past conditioning that we associate with it and use as the means of interpreting the events, and we detach from the need to defend our own shortcomings and weaknesses born out of a victim mentality, and we look at the situation from a completely rational and intuitive perspective, we can begin recognizing our own faults and how it was that we participated in creating the situation. Everything is formed as a co-creation and there’s really no such thing as an innocent participant in the most basic sense. Once we’re able to see what our part was in helping to create it, we “learn the lesson” it served to teach us, and we no longer need to repeat it by continuing to dwell in it. As we become adults we can begin recognizing themes as patterns that we consistently play out from a predominately unconscious state, and by self-reflecting, we can come to realize tendencies that stem from our past conditioning. Once we’re able to see them clearly and we bring them into conscious awareness, they lose their grip on us and we can see them clearly in any situation before they even begin.

All of what we call “painful experiences” are serving as a mirror into the hidden aspects of our own psychological make-up that remain unresolved and provide us with the means necessary for healing. They give us great insight into where we are making errors in our perception and our own natural tendencies affording us the opportunity to “correct” ourselves. As long as we stay focused on the wrong-doing of the other person and blame them for our pain, we remain unconscious to our own creative abilities and fail to utilize our higher capacities of intuition in being able to perceive the greater dynamic being played out. By waking up in the midst of our own unconscious illusions and seeing clearly the part we’re playing in maintaining the dramas that are playing out in our own life, we begin employing our will to resolve them. Our life is fated until we begin using our will to dissolve karmic patterns. If we chose to remain unconscious as to our own creative abilities and instead choose to focus on others and the events taking place around us with the perception that we’re somehow helpless in light of them, then we continue to act out karmic patterns born out of our past conditioning. By realizing that others play out karmic patterns with us through the same unconscious state, and are lost in the illusion of their own pain and suffering, just as we were, we can begin realizing that there’s really nothing to forgive, and we may even feel a strange sense of gratitude in the fact that they helped us to see what we couldn’t see on our own.

pentad door

Once the illusion is dissolved for us, and we realize that the other person(s) is still caught up in the illusion and believes it’s real, and so honestly doesn’t know any better, they no longer stimulate us with their attitude and behavior towards us, or the type of activities they continue to engage in. We move into a different way of seeing the same reality that makes it seem very different and a part from us. We are no longer invested in that reality for our identity, and as a result no longer participate in co-creating it. Once we honestly experience a “shift in consciousness” where we no longer perceive  reality in the same way, we no longer attract it or are attracted to it, and virtually lose our ability to readily comprehend it. It no longer holds us hostage by continuously thinking about it in a way that causes us pain, and within a very short period of time, we begin forgetting about it. As you truly forgive people and situations, they begin fading from your thoughts and you go longer and longer periods of time without thinking about them or replaying the experience over and over in your mind. When we do think about them at some future point, it’s in a “matter of fact” way and doesn’t invoke a prominent emotional reaction. Anytime we encounter the same type of person or tendencies in the future we see it the minute it starts, and withdraw from it. We completely lose interest and are no longer attracted to it.

As long as we continue to think about the past in a compulsive manner, we stay locked into the pattern as the level of consciousness we were in when we first created the memory. When we move to a different level of consciousness through increased self-awareness, we shift our vibratory frequency, and we begin engaging in a whole new perception of reality. Vibratory frequencies have patterns inherent in them that express as different types of reality that bring new and different types of experiences. As we become more aware of our own unconscious tendencies and we gain new realizations about ourselves as a result, we have the means for actively transforming our life by consciously exercising our ability to make clear decisions that we then willfully bring into fruition. As we move to a higher perspective and more holistic way of viewing our life as “the creator” of it rather than seeing ourselves as being “created” by others, we experience a shift in consciousness where we  literally become of a different mind and a whole new version of reality emerges as a result. We begin living a whole new story told from a new perspective and we “become” a new person by way of that story. As we shift between finely interwoven dimensions through an altered “state of mind”, the old reality becomes illusory and vague, and we begin “forgetting about it”, in much the same way we forget our nightly dreams upon awakening. They are no longer a part of us as an active memory, and we no longer create out of them or identify with them. Eventually, as time passes, they begin feeling foreign to us and we no longer relate to them and can’t recall them with any real vividness or accuracy. Our past slumber vibrates at a frequency we can no longer comprehend within our new state of being, and we take a step closer to liberating our soul from the prison of our own mind.

To forgive, is truly to forget . . . .

Dr. Linda Gadbois

The Psychology of Relationships – We Hurt others in the same way we were Hurt

Relationships act as a Mirror for Reflecting back to us Unconscious Aspects of Ourselves


What many people don’t realize is that we’re never conditioned to only one role or position is a dynamic as a behavioral pattern, but rather to the “whole pattern”. Whatever patterns as family dynamics that we’re being played out around us and that we were an integral part of, we not only experience from one position or role in that dynamic, which was created through the interaction itself, but we develop defensive behaviors that serve to provoke the other roles being played out that were necessary to give us the experience we had in relationship with it. All behavioral dynamics are dramas acted out that create a consistent type of experiences. The only way we can do this is by attracting the same “type” of people, enter into relationship with them, where the same idea begins playing out, causing us to feel the same way that we always feel.

The relationship we form with others is a relationship we form with ourselves in the other person. Our consciousness as vibratory energy blends into theirs, where whatever qualities we share in common are naturally stimulated just through the nature of the interaction, made active in both people, brought forth as behaviors, and used to create our experiences of the relationship. Energy is qualities of consciousness that form our character and identity which produces the natural behavior and way of being that naturally act out greater patterns as self-expression that tells a certain type of story as a consistent version of reality. A certain type of person consistently tells a certain type of story. It’s fairly easy to recognize that you’ve got a personalized “theme” playing out in your life that’s the basis for how you experience things by the story you tell yourself about them that makes them mean something, the meaning we give things creates your experiences in a congruent and consistent manner. This theme, is at once the expression of the energetic structure of your paradigm and your perceptual lens which interprets everything to give it meaning by the story you tell yourself about it, while simultaneously creating and reinforcing your mental paradigm. We’re never experiencing other people or neutral events “as” they actually are, apart from us, but by how we remake them in our mind to naturally become a coherent part of our story about things.

Throughout our life, we were in conditions, circumstances, and situations where a consistent type of drama and behaviors were being acted out, and we were trained to participate in them, and they served to shape us to the natural mind-set and behaviors of that pattern. These events caused us to feel a certain way, and the story we made up about them as a way of putting them into context and making sense of them, created the perspective that became habitual, and we began interpreting all of the events of our life to mean the same thing and thereby tell the same type of story, and serve to give us more of the same type of feeling. We become conditioned to feeling a certain way, and that feeling as an overall mood forms all our personal experiences as the expression of it, which naturally produces more of it, strengthening and validating it. The inner feeling forms the outer perception as the reality of that feeling, stimulating it in others by how we feel and act, and using it as the basis for the interaction as a drama of some kind that acts to strengthen, multiply, and amplify the feeling in both people, and becomes the result or outcome of all experiences created out of that relationship.

Electric brain

Because we are conditioned to patterns, and our natural perception and behaviors are a product of that pattern, our natural perceptions and unconscious behaviors act to naturally stimulate, initiate, and produce that pattern. Often, this doesn’t come through actual behavior, but rather in our ability to interpret a large variety of behaviors displayed by others to “mean” what we believe it means, rather than as they actually intended it. What we “expect” to find or see in another (based on our past and the theme we developed) becomes our “filter” through which we look and our theme for interpreting everything to mean what we need it to mean in order to keep telling our story about things. Our perception is an “interpretation” that bares our signature as our “style” for creating.

The idea of “do unto others as you would have them do unto you”, is not a nice idea or polite behavior, but a psychological fact or law. As we do unto others, we stimulate them to treat us the same way in return. Not necessarily in the direct and fully aware sense, but in the indirect and unconscious sense. We produce the behavior of that pattern, often without realizing it because we’re telling ourselves a story about why we’re doing what we’re doing that makes it seem different. But the behavior itself stimulates the same behavioral pattern in the other person, who returns the favor by acting the same way towards us.

For example: Someone who feels rejected and not wanted (their theme), produces the attitude (how they “feel”) and behavior (how they come across) that causes them to be rejected and not wanted. They go into any situation expecting to be rejected, and anticipating it, looking for it, and are able to readily interpret any number of behaviors being displayed by the other person as “meaning” that they’re (once again) being rejected, and so they behave “as if” they’re being rejected and go into the behaviors they normally do when feeling that way, and act distant, aloof, somewhat cold, agitated, sad and hurt, and quit participating having to be coaxed into joining in, are overly shy, rude and harsh (angry), and act hurt for no obvious reason (to the other person), and so on. They act in a way that causes the other person to feel unwanted or rejected by them, and they respond in kind, by outright rejecting them. In this way, they produce the experience of being rejected by rejecting another, usually without ever realizing that that’s what they’re doing. When the other person responds in kind by rejecting them, they think, ah ha! I knew it, see, once again I’m not wanted, and they feel the same way they always do and can continue to tell the same story about things.


In a similar fashion someone whose been betrayed, expects betrayal, and behaves in such a way that causes the other person to feel betrayed, and they respond in a like manner, betraying us back. All action causes an equal or greater reaction. Cause always produces a corresponding effect. We can only produce the effect that we act as the cause for. Likewise, other people act as the cause that produces an effect in us. We’re attracted to people who share the same feeling-pattern as we do, and who act to not only stimulate us and we them, but naturally cooperate and participate in acting out the same story, giving both people more of the same feeling they share in common.

Whatever we do ourselves, we imagine the other person is doing also. A person who lies and hides things is always suspicious of the other person as doing the same thing, and often accuses them of it even when they’re not. A person who plays around and cheats, expects the other person to be doing the same things, and often looks for (the same “way” they go about it) and accuses them of it. In fact, whatever a person states as their “issues” or what they don’t like or react to in another, is something they’re prone to doing themselves, they just have a different reason for doing it that makes it seem different.

Someone who says honesty is really important to them, and they don’t like it when their partner lies and keeps things from them, will not only attract the very people that will fulfill that, but usually have a considerable number of secrets themselves that they constantly lie about in order to keep hidden, and will sneak around snooping and spying on the other person trying to catch them at what they “know” they’re doing, which of course is doing the same thing they’re imagining the other person is doing. But when they’re doing the same thing, hiding things, they’re doing it for a reason that justifies it in their mind, so they don’t see themselves as doing the very thing they suspect the other person of doing.

Whatever theme we’ve built our identity around, we attract naturally the co-star of the same drama. A person with a “victim” mentality needs a victimizer in order to keep telling the story of being the victim, and produces the ideal behavior that provokes the person victimizing them. We always imagine that it’s being done “to us” with no fault of our own, and once again, we’re innocent victims to malicious people. When in reality, they’re acting as a mirror to reflect back to us our own tendencies and projections, showing us the dramas we act to consistently co-create. And of course these dramas are never cut and dry or outright obvious, but formed in very personal ways through “twists” in the plot. We have a particular way of being betrayed, for example, and there’s a sub-theme to the main theme. We have a particular way of being rejected, or a specific reason for being rejected. We then try to solve the issue by only focusing on the other person, and are not willing to recognize our own part, or work on our own tendencies, and are certainly not able to get into another relationship while acting the same way and producing a new effect. A person who’s sarcastic and verbally abusive, for example, usually causing people to become sarcastic and hurtful back, will try to find someone who won’t be bothered by it, or that will put up with it, without becoming the same way back, so they don’t have to change.


Whenever we’re in a relationship, if we reflect on the overall nature of it, we’ll notice a pattern being acted out as a life drama that involves our “issues”, or is about the same thing all our experiences are about. In noticing and gaining realization of the pattern as tendencies, we can begin seeing our part in it, and what we’re doing to actively co-create it. What we see in the other person is a reflection of that same feeling-quality in us. Our interaction stimulates their feelings and behaviors, and vice versa. They play a complementary role in our drama, and us in theirs. When we understand that we are costars of the same story, we can realize that what we imagine they’re doing to us, is something they also perceive us as doing to them. How they’re being with us is a direct reflection of how we’re being with them.

Like always begets more of what is like itself. We can’t enter into relationship with someone who doesn’t share the same qualities and behavioral dynamics because we fail to relate and there’s no connection between us. When we feel chemistry with someone, their energy is moving into ours and stimulating it by activating or vibrating it. This is because we’re resonating with them, we are of the same vibratory frequency, and share the same mind-set. When we come together there’s immediate connection, pronounced feelings and we instantly relate to them. There’s a natural understanding that takes place. The nature of our immediate interaction sets the shared pattern into motion, and basic ways of interacting become established fairly early on, and sets the foundation for how the relationship develops in terms of the feelings and behaviors it endeavors.

No one is going to come into our life and fix or heal us. We have to do that “before” we can attract or be attracted to the person that will act out a different story with us. Until we heal and correct our own issues and tendencies, we are only capable of attracting, relating to, and forming a relationship with those who play a complementary role in the same dynamic. However, two people who realize their own tendencies, and awaken together in the midst of their pattern, can heal together by supporting one another in their growth, act as the means for healing to take place through transformation, and continue to grow together throughout their lives.


Dr. Linda Gadbois   

Evolutionary Relationships

Please leave a comment on this page post, reach me through my contact page, or book NOW your life transforming 1 hour introduction consulting session to learn how to apply higher knowledge to your everyday life in order to consciously self-create!  Schedule Consultation

Enjoyed this post, pick my brain some more . . . join our bi-weekly newsletter & learn about personal transformation

Dr. Linda GadboisAbout the author:
Dr. Linda is an expert in Spiritual Sciences and scholar of Hermetic Sciences and Ancient Wisdom traditions. She’s a professional educator and trainer for all areas of personal transformation, self-creation, mind development, and soul/spiritual evolution. She practices Integrative Medicine with a special emphasis on Psychology and Creative therapies. She conducts ongoing classes, Playshops, and Adventure Seminars, and is available for private or group training, mentoring, and speaking engagements.
To inquire, click here


Miraculous Healing – “The Power of Love”

The Healing Power of Divine Intervention

Mom and baby

My first experience of performing what would be deemed a miracle, came as a desperate response to a moment of incredible devastation that pushed me past all limitation, not by endlessly engaging in the limitations themselves in an attempt to process them and overcome them, but by transcending them by losing all awareness of the perception in which the limitations existed. Like shifting into another space, nested within the same situation, in which fear didn’t exist and wasn’t even a consideration. This experience was an amazing lesson not only in helping me to see my own capabilities and learn to build confidence by believing in myself, but also revealing to me the shocking reality of how people tend to show up in times when it matters the most.

What happens in those moments when we find ourselves in situations that the eye could not foresee often astounds us. I was abandoned by the people who should have been there, and helped by other that I barely knew. A true testament of giving up perceived control by simply recognizing and allowing my inner guidance as intuition that provided divine intervention, not through another but as an act of my own will surrender to a higher intelligence. I engaged in activity that I performed from a place of sheer knowing in absolute trust that almost felt peculiar to me as I was doing it. As if I was inhabited by a companion form of consciousness. One that didn’t make a big deal out of stuff, but just silently stepped in and went about its business from a removed state that seemed intimately connected.

This is just one part of amazing experiences that spanned 15 months, but open my eyes to the real potential of the human spirit when acting from a place of love, devotion, and surrender. It also served to teach me the true nature of people in moments of great necessity that went painfully unanswered.

My son was born 4lbs. 10oz., fully matured but with what I would discover through relentless pursuit, as having Hirschsprung’s disease. He was hospitalized on Thanksgiving Day and underwent emergency surgery that set into motion an amazing process of self-discovery as a demonstration of human fortitude. After six surgeries, two colostomies, and surgically implanted mainlines due to vascular breakdown of all available IV sites, he peeked out at 5 lbs. 7 oz. at a little over two months old, then began a process of deteriorating. After losing weight and dropping back down to 4lbs. 8oz. at a little over three months old, he became lethargic hard to wake up, began dehydrating due to his major organs systematically starting to shut down. They diagnosed him with failure to thrive and removed all life-support and estimating approximately 48 hours before he would die. They gave me an option of leaving him in the hospital and allowing it to happen there or to take them home in when it happened to call them and they would take care of the arrangements.


I cannot even convey the level of grief I was experiencing that had began building a few weeks prior to his diagnosis. I felt detached from reality and had trouble comprehending what was going on and struggled to perform normal tasks. The next morning as I gathered him and all his things and walked out to the car, where I had to drive us home. My husband announced to me a month into it, that he couldn’t handle it and refused to come down to the hospital. I was left on my own to figure out how to deal with it. As I got to the car my legs were trembling and started buckling. I had to sit on the asphalt and try to compose myself. My heart was pounding out of my chest, and I couldn’t catch my breath, the ground was moving and I felt disoriented as those everything was closing in on me. After a brief time of trying to create a relaxed state so that I could drive the car I finally got to my feet, and secured my son in his car seat next to me in the front seat and began driving.

I stopped at a red light and it was as if something snapped inside of me and the whole world collapsed around me. I lost all awareness of everything outside of the car and I suddenly became overwhelmed with grief and started screaming as I was crying saying, “I refuse to accept this! I refuse. I will not allow my baby to die! He wants to live. He’s going to live. I will not accept this”. I repeated this hysterically while hitting on the steering wheel and the dashboard. Then after mumbling for a bit non-sensibly, I looked down at my son in the sunlight coming through the window made his face and peer like an angel, softly undistinguished and innocently sweet. I leaned down pressing my face against his and rocking back and forth while mumbling and sobbing, and suddenly I became extremely aware of his heartbeat. As I listened to it beating it seemed to get louder and louder. Strong and pronounced. Then a kind of silence fell around me, and I felt a calm come over me and my thoughts became collected and my heart relaxed into sync with his, and I suddenly knew what I needed to do. It was a kind of knowing that felt like a trance. Something I couldn’t articulate with words but simply knew it as a feeling inside. It was a presence in me that removed all fear and possessed me with the kind of certainty that was removed from doubt.

I then sat up and began driving home calmly. When I got home I gathered my son went into the house and place to quilt over the rocking chair. I closed all the curtains, lit a couple of candles, got a glass of water, removed my shirt and bra took all the clothes off my son except his diaper and colostomy bag, and sat down. I laid him across my bare breasts so he could hear my heart beat, smell my skin, and be warmed by my body. I then started stroking his body with loving affection, kissing his head and the side of his face, and softly sang a lullaby as a kind of humming. Then as I began rocking I ran pictures through my mind of him at six months old, smiling and laughing, then at a year old learning to walk having his first birthday while eating his cake with his fingers, then at two years, playing in the park with the other kids on the polka-dotted pony. I saw him at his second Christmas where he was fascinated with the lights and was more intrigued with the bows and the wrapping paper than he was with the presents. I imagined him at two and three years old, healthy, and strong as I became filled with overwhelming love for him as I continued caressing him, kissing him and rocking him with sweet lullabies.

Mother and child

At first he was lethargic and unresponsive his body was cool and limp. After a few hours he started moving his hands and feet as if getting comfortable. After about six hours he sneezed and rubbed his nose. Then he started moving as if waking up from a nap. After about eight hours, he opened his eyes and gaze straight into mine, then smiled and started acting irritable. As he began squirming slightly trying to breast-feed I thought . . . he’s actually hungry! When I put them down to get his bottle he cried until I picked him back up. He then drank 4 ounces of a special formula, and later ate some mashed bananas. By the next day he was fully active, eating, cooing, in playing in his crib.
The hospital called me two days later because they couldn’t figure out why they hadn’t heard from me. When I told his doctor that he had made what seemed like a full recovery and was eating, drinking, and playing, he was in disbelief and wanted me to bring him in for a checkup. Upon examining him he said, “this doesn’t make any sense, this shouldn’t be possible”. He was then struck by the fact that he recovered without any side effects from what appeared as deterioration of his major organs. He then began questioning me on what I had done, how I had done it, and what on earth possessed me to do it, and when I told him, he just got a blank look on his face stared for a moment, and said “I guess a mother’s love is the ultimate healing force after all”, and shook his head.

This would instill confidence for what would come four months later on the second go around to remove part of his intestines, which after healing, they would close his colostomy, which they had originally planned it for 14 to 16 months old as he needed to be around 17 pounds to perform the operation. By the time he was seven months old he weighed 16 1/2 pounds. In four months he had gained 12 pounds. The doctor was just struck with amazement. He laughed and said, “I don’t know what you’re feeding him, but it’s certainly working!”
After a series of surgeries the second time, they remove part of his intestines, let that heal for a couple weeks and then closed his colostomy, after which time he began falling into the same pattern. They then came to me saying that he wasn’t responding to treatment and they needed to put him back on life support and implant IV lines into his chest. But this time I elected to take him out of the hospital without permission and bring him home to heal instead in the same way I had done before. Again, it worked beautifully and within hours he was awake, alert and eating. He had his first bowel movement at 8 1/2 months old.

Through this experience I learned what it means to love someone so much I was willing to die for him. My life crumbled before my eyes, and I lost everything I owned. In that moment I became very clear on what really matters and what doesn’t. I learned that we can access super-human strength when we actually need to. And I touched on the strength of my moral fiber that served to catapult me into greater and greater levels intuition, self-knowledge and confidence that comes from believing in myself and forming absolute faith based on that. I acquired the confidence to stand up against all odds, and walk fully awake into the flame without flinching or shrinking back with intimidation.

So with that experience, when I came into contact with the healing practice of Reiki and Energy Medicine several years later, I immediately saw the connection and chose to study it as a primary healing modality that actually had a name.

Dr. Linda Gadbois

Sexual Union – The Spiritual Law of Divine Union

“The Principle of Energetic Fusion”

Sexual Union

To fully understand the true moral reality around sexual union, we can’t look at it from the man-made concepts of right and wrong, good or bad, but view it instead from the primary level of the energetic (spiritual) interaction taking place, and what it implies or reveals as a result. From an energetic perspective, every soul exists as a form of tincture, in which their mind-field is infused with a certain formula of qualities stimulated through their environment that form their overall character, which naturally expresses through their natural behavior, forming corresponding realities as the experience inherent within those realities. This is referred to traditionally as “morality”. The essential nature of the soul and what type of experiences it creates through natural behavior that’s consistent with a certain type of story.

Whenever we exist in near proximity with another soul (electromagnetic energy field), a natural exchange of energy (consciousness) takes place through a form of magnetic breathing, and we not only “sense” the quality of their soul-consciousness, but we also absorb their essence into us, and through a process of equilibrium that acts like a chemical reaction, which modifies both vibratory frequencies (consciousness) to take on the qualities of each other, while projecting and putting off our souls vibration at the same time. We’re always exchanging energy as consciousness with our environment through the same principle as breathing which digests, assimilates (what’s of the same frequency) and eliminates (what’s not of the same frequency) as a result. What we absorb that “takes hold” is based on being of the same vibratory range as our primary disposition, that forms energetic sympathy (enters into and effects) with us, modifying the vibration of both to form coherence as a kind of balanced union, and we literally become one with them in consciousness.


The most fundamental form of energetic sympathy is love. What we love we desire and seek union with. Sex, in its most primary form, is not only the ultimate expression of romantic love, but it’s the literal act of energetic fusion, where two souls, infusing each other, take on the same vibratory frequency, and become one as a shared morality – they become of the same nature and begin expressing and behaving accordingly. We not only “acquire” their qualities and traits unto us, modifying our character through the integration, we also take on and share their karma and overall destiny. Our character as our quality of consciousness or vibratory frequency, determines how we “express” what type of behavioral dynamics we take on and begin co-creating through, and what type of life we create through the story we tell as a result.

This is why historically marriage isn’t consummated until sexual union takes place, as the fusing together of their energy fields. It’s also why “virgins” were emphasized for any form of practice where “pure” consciousness was required that hadn’t been diluted or corrupted by the infusion of another consciousness that acted to alter their “perceptual ability”. When we engage in the sexual act, we enter into rapport with the person while experiencing a heightened sense of love as physical pleasure, which is the actual experience of blending energetically. The actual orgasm, or peak experience, is full infusion where all resistance subsides and fusion takes place as a loss of self-awareness. We explode into and expand instantly into the energy field of the other, and they into ours, in a moment of euphoria that lacks inhibition of any kind. A spontaneous free-flow takes place. In this moment, we are fully infused with the morality and energetically with a shared consciousness which serves to alter our character accordingly. We begin taking on the same fundamental perspectives, tendencies and behavioral dynamics. We begin a steady process of becoming more like them and they like us.


When this union is consciously undertaken only with someone of high moral character, that we respect, admire, adore and feel a deep sense of love for, whose blending serves our souls evolution by acquiring positive traits and behaviors, then it’s a sacrament. A profound evolutionary tool as a means of consciously evolving ourselves. But when we engage in the sexual act with people we don’t or barely know, those of poor moral character who possess behavioral dynamics we don’t want to be apart of, or who have fused unconsciously with many others of the same values and moral character, we corrupt ourselves with a dynamic matrix of unknown properties. We adhere to, align ourselves with, and take on the same characteristics, and begin engaging in the same dramas as behavioral patterns, often, without ever fully realizing what’s happening and why. Because subtle changes in our energy field are felt as feeling-moods that come over us, that are then developed by how we are being stimulated through relationships of various sorts, they take hold and begin manifesting gradually without our direct awareness of what we’re actually doing, and who we’re becoming as a result.

This is why many spiritual traditions abstain from sexual union, and instead encourage a loving union with God – as our higher Self, is to keep the soul pure and unadulterated. When marriage is encouraged, it’s undertaken with full, conscious awareness of the type of person we commit ourselves to, their fundamental character, quality and level of consciousness and how that will serve us, and us them, through a union of body and soul to become greater through blending and interacting. We evolve through an aspiration to a higher ideal that both are invested in and initiate and sustain through their everyday interactions. Making love is a state of mind as a basic form of communication that’s conveyed in our eyes, our body gestures, and in the affectionate delivery of words meant to induce positive emotions as a form of connection and provides a safe space for being realized and witnessed by someone who holds a mirror for us. Through intimacy and sexual intercourse that leads to an orgasm as the complete surrender of our ability to contain ourselves, we explode, let go, and fully merge into the spiritual energy of the other person and a permanent fusion takes place that alters our consciousness forever.

Dr. Linda Gadbois

Evolutionary Relationships

Sacred Sexuality


Please leave a comment on this page post, reach me through my contact page, or book NOW your life transforming 1 hour introduction consulting session to learn how to apply higher knowledge to your everyday life in order to consciously self-create!  Schedule Consultation


Enjoyed this post, pick my brain some more . . . join our bi-weekly newsletter & learn about personal transformation


Dr. Linda GadboisAbout the author:
Dr. Linda is an expert in Spiritual Sciences and scholar of Hermetic Sciences and Ancient Wisdom traditions. She’s a professional educator and trainer for all areas of personal transformation, self-creation, mind development, and soul/spiritual evolution. She practices Integrative Medicine with a special emphasis on Psychology and Creative therapies. She conducts ongoing classes, Playshops, and Adventure Seminars, and is available for private or group training, mentoring, and speaking engagements.
To inquire, click here



Relationship Dynamics – “Behavioral Patterns as Life Themes”

One of the difficulties we tend to have in fully comprehending our true ability to self-create through various dynamics that we act out in relationship with others, is that we have conscious and unconscious aspects of an experience, as well as a tendency to identify with every role in a behavioral pattern, and are moving in and out of them all the time in a completely natural and spontaneous way. We tend to view life as happening “to us”, largely because our fundamental patterns are established through childhood conditioning, when we are only partially aware in our experiences, while associated to the position (role) of having stuff done to us by others while having no real control over the situation. Yet, in reality, we are being conditioned to the behavioral pattern as a form of living drama that we eventually, once we mature and become an adult in the same behavior, we can play any role within the same dynamic, and simultaneously act to initiate the pattern by first doing unto the other what we want (cause) them to do back unto us. We then get to experience it as though once again . . . it’s happening to us.

How we are treated by others as children not only teaches and trains us to the actions inherent in the pattern, but also the values, beliefs, and emotional states that the behavior is an expression of. The belief provides the composition as an enactment, the values as what’s important, what’s not and why, and the emotions as the charge or expressive component the behavior is given and the attitude employed in order to effectively act it out. If for example, we are made to feel (told and treated as if) that we’re not important, or were a burden of some form, and consistently treated that way (parents beliefs projected onto us), we form it as a core belief, meaning a primary belief that spawns other beliefs based on it, that acts to shape our life in a powerful way as the central theme of our life’s story that later develops our identity around and by way of it. We then develop an array of behaviors around it as a means of compensating, defending, deflecting, or denying and immediately reacting to it. We are always acting it out and creating it as a consistent experience in some way by how we interpret other people’s behavior and events to make them somehow mean that we are not important or wanted, and recreate the same experience of being rejected once again within our own life in some way.

The belief forms a mental filter that we use to perceive everything through that reshapes it through how we interpret it to mean “we’re not good enough”, while also producing the behaviors that causes others to react to us by treating us the way we belive we deserve to be treated. In relationships where rejection is not immediately acted out, we will behave in a way that causes them to feel rejected by us, responding by rejecting us back, or we’ll produce the behavior that is repulsive is some way, producing the natural response of someone not wanting to be with or around us. We then experience being rejected “by them” without direct awareness that we did the rejecting to begin with, or created the behavior we knew would cause them to not like us. We act to perpetuate the very behavior we imagine is being done to us by others.
We are conditioned not to singular behaviors or a specific perspective or role within an overall dynamic, but to the dynamic itself as a thematic story, where we can play any role in it. We attract and are attracted to people, situations, and events that can be used to unconsciously act out the same type of dramas as joint experience that serves to tell the same type of story about us, about others, and they way things are over-and-over again throughout our lives. Whatever role the other naturally falls into, we will play the complementary role. The only way to break this pattern is to become aware of it, realize your own tendencies and part in creating the pattern, and choosing to replace it with new behaviors by consciously reconditioning ourselves to become in character the type of person that can naturally act to tell a new type of story, and attract the proper elements to co-create it as a joint reality-experience.


As long as we remain in denial, not realizing and owning our part, and projecting and blaming it on others, imagining it’s being done to us beyond our control, and we continue to unconsciously create the behaviors that initiates it as a action-reaction pattern that takes on a life of it’s own, we will remain stuck in its grip, feeling helpless to break-out of our own illusion. Once we can take an objective, dissociated perspective, and see ourselves in the story as an active participant from a non-personal position, we can see fully how we engage in the very behavior we imagine is being done to us, and catch ourselves in the moment when we are about to engage in it through some form of stimulus, because we realize “how” we’re acting to do it. What it is we do exactly that initiates it, while justifying and validating it somehow through the story we tell ourselves about it and through a basic form of self-awareness, we can choose to behave in a different way by interpreting their behavior or the situation in a new way, seeing something different, and breaking the unconscious pattern as a result. We can identifying the feelings as an emotion that triggers an unconscious reaction as defensive behaviors.

All healing is only possible by bringing what is unconscious and therefore automatic, into awareness as self-realization. By realizing that we are the sole creators of our own experiences, even as a child, we can realize that the thematic patterns we use to create a consistent story “about” us and our life, resulted from how we interpreted events from the mind and emotions of a child that we continue to use as an adult to live out of the same basic emotional interpretations as an adult. Our inner child becomes the story-teller that continues to shape us from an unconscious perspective for the rest of our life, unless we wake up in the midst of our own illusions, and beginning forming new interpretations from the mind and emotions of the adult. All transformation comes through self-knowledge as self-awareness and the employment of our own mind to recreate ourselves by how we choose to use our imagination to create a sense of ourselves through the stories that we tell about ourselves, others, and life in general. We are always the author (authority) of our own life and the sole creator of our internal experience as the thoughts and emotions we entertain willingly on a regular basis. True self-mastery comes from realizing how we use our mind to create realities, then using it intentionally to create the ones we truly want to tell! The ones that will shape who we are through the telling.


Dr. Linda Gadbois


About the author:
Dr. Linda is a Spiritual Scientist and scholar of Hermetic Sciences and Ancient Wisdom traditions. She’s a professional educator and trainer for all areas of personal transformation, self-creation, mind development, and soul/spiritual evolution. She practices Integrative Medicine with a special emphasis on Psychology and Creative therapies. She conducts ongoing classes, Playshops, and Adventure Seminars, and is available for private or group training, mentoring, and speaking engagements.
To inquire, click here

The Struggle to find Meaning and Purpose

rainbow in yosimite

As we go through life, we’re always building our life around what gives us a sense of purpose. This usually comes through a relationship of some form, either in the romantic sense, where we build a life together, or when we have children and a family that we love and who counts on us for their well-being and happiness. It can also come from work of some sort that we feel passionate about and that helps others, enriches people’s lives, or somehow makes the world a better place. It can also come from creative work, whether it be art or music of some form, writing, making a beautiful home, cultivating a garden, cooking for our family, or taking care of someone to help them heal and grow. It often comes from being needed, having someone depending on us, or the pleasure and joy that comes from providing and giving to others in need. Whatever it is that gives you a sense of “building your life around” it. Whatever gives you a sense of direction and infuses your life with a deep sense of meaning, where everyday you know what you’re waking up for and what you need to do.
When we find ourselves alone in life, either after raising a family that’s grown up and gone, ending long-term relationships, suffering an illness, disease or disability, we come face to face with the reality of what gives our life meaning, and what serves to motivate us in the most ordinary sense. When we have no purpose, nothing to build our life around, it can leave us feeling empty, drained, unmotivated, and depressed. Things we once enjoyed no longer appeal to us because doing them alone isn’t the same as doing them with a loved one where you share the experience and feel the happiness that comes from giving and connecting, or the companionship of always having family of some sort, whether actual or good friends.
When our roles change in life, and what we once built our identity around falls away or ends somehow, and we no longer know who we are or what we’re meant to do, life becomes meaningless and our purpose muddied and unclear. To work and build something only for yourself, often brings no real sense of pleasure or fulfillment. Being alone and working only for yourself, can bring a deep sense of loneliness that goes way beyond longing to be with somebody and recapturing that sense of connection and affection, but begins to slowly strip away meaning itself, where just motivating yourself in the ordinary sense becomes a constant struggle. You’re left with that “what’s the use” feeling, and you begin steadily isolating yourself, or take on a desperate feeling of grasping for whatever you can get, just as long as you don’t have to be alone. You can begin settling for anything, or considering a relationship that you normally wouldn’t even entertain, while finding that it not only doesn’t satisfy the need to connect and feel apart of someone, but makes you feel another kind of loneliness that’s confusing, because you feel even more lonely when you’re with someone. Or it can cause you to go deeper into your isolation and feeling disconnected from people in general, and begins a long journey of accepting that you’re going to be alone, and trying to figure out how to honestly be okay with it. You accept your fate and slowly disappear into a numbing silence where your own thoughts are your only companion. You take up hobbies, transfer your affection to pets, or delve deeper into your work, and while it doesn’t alleviate the loneliness, it does offer a temporary distraction that gives you something to do while you continue to try and figure out what you’re going to do.
While many people say they don’t want to be needed, be responsible for others, and feel burdened by having to provide for the well-being of others, in reality, those are the things that give our life meaning, and give us a clear sense of purpose and the ability to give to others knowing we make a difference in their lives, and without us, they wouldn’t be okay. When we’re apart of something greater than ourselves, and build our lives around others, we’re motivated in the most natural sense and have a constant feeling of love and affection in our life. True pleasure and contentment come from sharing life with another, and others, and from whatever gives us a sense of responsibility, love and devotion for and towards. As humans, we’re not meant to be alone, and a life well lived is lived in the service of others whom we love enough to make sacrifices. In this sense, sacrifice is the true demonstration of love, and intensifies our feeling of commitment and living a life of purpose and meaning.
If we find ourselves alone in life, and seemingly without a prospect for union, then we devote our lives to others and to a cause that takes the place of family, and gives us a sense of duty, service and purpose. If we know we matter in someone’s life, that we’re making a difference, and that the world is somehow better because of us, than it gives our life the meaning and purpose that we all need. It gives us direction and a sense of accomplishment. It gives us a channel for giving and receiving, for contributing and participating in something beyond ourselves. We’re only truly happy when we feel a valuable part of something greater than ourselves. To live a life of purpose is to live a life of service.


Dr. Linda Gadbois


About the author:
Dr. Linda is a Spiritual Scientist and scholar of Hermetic Sciences and Ancient Wisdom traditions. She’s a professional educator and trainer for all areas of personal transformation, self-creation, mind development, and soul/spiritual evolution. She practices Integrative Medicine with a special emphasis on Psychology and Creative therapies. She conducts ongoing classes, Playshops, and Adventure Seminars, and is available for private or group training, mentoring, and speaking engagements.
To inquire, click here