Awakening your Inner Lover – “Experiencing Pleasure”


All experience is first created in the imagination as a reflection of our “mood†or state of mind. We create an inner experience that becomes the organizing factor of our outer experience. We create it on the inside, then project out onto our environment and create a corresponding expression through how we “emotionally interpret†things to give them meaning. The meaning forms the basis for the “type†experience we create as a result. This is the fundamental basis of “self-expressionâ€. Our true creative ability lies in our capacity and skill for creating desired experiences. We do this primarily by first recognizing what “feeling†we are longing for, then placing our attention on that feeling, holding it in our mind’s eye, noticing what the sensation is in our body, and allowing a kind of story to emerge out of it as a natural expression that is allowed and uncensored. The story demonstrates what type of experience will give us that feeling. Feelings have whole stories inherent in them as part of their archetypal nature.

Our ability to not only imagine vividly, but experience fully comes by way of awakening our senses and using them to create intoxicating sensual experiences of a deeply erotic nature. We have to marry eros to logos, use the emotional quality to fill and activate the mental impression. Bring back our sensuality as a means of animating mental images with provocative qualities of being that excite and enliven us. Qualities, embodied and expressed sensuously enhance our ability to cultivate deeply gratifying states of erotic beauty while exercising our creative powers to first create our internal state, then express ourselves, while having the experience our own creation.

Because we live in a society that is largely left-brained, overly intellectual and addicted to technology, we often lack the emotional skills and awareness necessary to directly connect to and become apart of our environment. Our ability to feel fully present in our bodies while merging with our immediate experience has become dulled and unpracticed. This has resulted in the resigned, lack-luster society that endlessly indulges in mundane mediocrity and has settled into a lifeless existence that we call normal. We must retrain our minds to embrace our sensual nature and the pleasure that comes from learning how to increase our emotional energy that arouses our mind igniting our imagination with a sense of passion. When we become passionate thinkers, the life we create is intoxicating and erotic, vivid and seductive, relentlessly calling us on. No place is this ability more enriching than when we engage fully in the art of love-making.

So we begin by intentionally creating the experiences designed to awaken our senses and enliven our bodies with erotic sensations that arouse our soul to higher states of consciousness. Merging with the Beloved, becoming one with God, is symbolized by the experience of blending into another and loosing ourselves in euphoric states of eternal bliss. The experience of intense love that consumes the mind, body and emotions through a heightened and prolonged orgasm serves as a metaphor for the intense pleasure of merging back into and becoming one with our Creator. As above, so below, in our sexual experiences, like all of life, we are at once the creators, the creation itself, while having the experience of our creation. No place is this more evident than embracing the love of creating while seeking atonement of mind, body and spirit into the same act.

In order to do this we must retrain our mind and body to work in-sync and increase our ability to receive pleasure, give it and become one-with it. Like learning the skills necessary for becoming the creator of any art-form, we must develop the ability for heightened sensory experience, and the ability to cultivate and maintain deep forms of pleasure for prolonged periods of time.


Exercise for enhanced sensory pleasure of the body/mind:

· Decide on what type of experience you wish to create – either as an expression of your current mood, or by embodying the qualities necessary to “create†your mood.

· Create the proper ambiance for the “type†of experience desired so that it will unfold naturally. The environment that will elicit the same mood in your lover. This can be low lighting, candles, burning incense or potpourri, soft music, sexy attire or partial nudity, etc. (Think in terms of invoking as many senses as possible – visual, sound, smells, touch, taste, etc.)

· Create the proper setting or stage – arrange the bed, use soft blankets, or silky sheets, arrange a place on the floor, someplace where you have full access to their body, and they to yours.

· Have your lover put on a blind fold (removes distractions), and lay comfortably relaxed propped up by pillows. The visual aspect should be in what is being imagined through the other senses. Your lover has to fully receive the pleasure you are giving them, and their only response is in showing you what they like by moaning or moving their body (this way you get to know their pleasure zones).

· In using touch and feeling sensations, think of as many different forms of touch that you can that are all done with your body. Fingers, hands, nails, running your body along theirs, pressing with different intensities, using the tip of your tongue, whole tongue, tickling, licking and sucking, gentle biting, stroking with your hair, blowing on their skin, etc.

· Using sound intentionally as a form of expression, make a variety of sounds that match the touch. Soft lingering moans,, deep breathing, grunting, deep belly sounds, whispering sexy gestures, giggling, deep sighing, and whatever else feels right in the moment. Or match the touch to the rhythm of whatever music is playing.

· As you explore with your face and mouth, you take in all the smells and tastes. Become familiar with them. Associate them to your feelings of sexual arousal and how incredible it feels to give pleasure to your lover. Explore and taste all areas of their body while making sounds that express your pleasure.

· Then, after fully explored and consumed, switch roles, and start again. :-)

Practice this, or experiences similar to this and it will allow your body to come alive, your emotions to soar, and your mind to feel the deep pervading sense of inner peace as the sweet afterglow of desire satisfied fully with deep feeling of love expressed with the body. The greatest healing power there is, is the energy directed through human touch while filled with deep feelings of love. While we tend to describe “human needs†in terms of physical survival, loving touch, energy infused with emotions of love and directed with intention, is the greatest healing power there is, and the primary “spiritual need†of our soul.

Linda Gadbois

Relationship Coach