The quest for personal power takes on many faces, and can present a real dilemma for many people, most of which induce an endless compromise as a negotiation between unconscious-feeling aspects of themselves, and conscious-aware aspects. Whether or not we “own” our power and employ it as part of our personality and normal ways of doing things is not based on our conditioning in the typical sense, but rather how we respond to the events and activities of our life that establish and develop our identity. Even our conditioning and how we’re trained to certain dynamics being acted out and what role in that dynamic we take on as a part of our natural personality, develops the story we begin living out of that gives us a sense of ourselves by way of that story. We begin taking on a position early in life of either defiance, or stubbornly standing our ground when others act to intimidate or exercise power over us, or we back down, submit, become meek and emotionally weak, and allow them to control us, and thereby determine us.
Whatever role we take on in the dynamic we’re raised with develops us according to that role, and the story we begin developing in our minds as a way of understanding the way people are, and the way life is, also comes to define us in relation to it all. The story we begin telling ourselves as a way of making sense of it all, becomes the role we take on in general, and how we come to identify with our own story about things. We develop “interactive dynamics” out of our story about things where we are either in a position of self-control and initiation, or where we’re reacting to being controlled and manipulated by others through a reactive state.
When we feel powerless, there are typically a couple of ways we approach it, either succumbing to it and being a victim, helpless to change while suffering because of it, or we begin the quest of “getting” power by taking it from others. Some engage in a constant process of trying to exercise control over others or a situation by being manipulative, coercive or antagonistic. They’re always trying to figure out what they need to do to get others to do what they want them to do. They design their behavior strictly according to manipulative strategies that rely on a victim mentality that will give into them. In this dynamic, the person seeking power has to hook-up with the person whose willing to give up their power, and the victim who lacks power or looks to readily give theirs away, hooks up with the villain who gladly takes it. We always form relationships with our complementary opposite and continue acting out dynamics as a form of negotiation and soul-bartering.
You can always tell the difference between who has power and who doesn’t by their behaviors and what attitude they’re expressing and demonstrating. These same type of dynamics are being played out in all areas of our life, through various relationships, whether they be friendships, romantic, siblings, parent-child, social, or in the workplace. Whatever idea a person is imprinted with is integrated into their psychology and becomes a dynamic part of even their most basic behaviors. It becomes a natural part of who they are and how they’re being as a fundamental part of their personality and identity that they carry with them into all of their life-situations.
All relationships involve an interaction of consciousness as energetic dynamics formed by complementary opposites, that act on each other, stimulating in each other the opposite expression of the same trait that they share in common, that together form the interactive roles necessary to act out a dynamic as a joint reality that reinforces and strengthens each persons role in that dynamic. In every relationship you have the attraction and interaction of opposites as active and passive, masculine and feminine, outer and inner, and dominant and recessive. When relationships first form, one person or element establishes dominance over the other, which sets into motion a larger dynamic that the relationship serves to act out. In a healthy relationship, the roles of dominance are shared and move back and forth depending on what they’re doing or dealing with, where each individual’s strengths and powers are utilized to serve the greater good of both as a unit or interactive whole. This “dynamic-duo” action utilizes the strength of both as a dance with life. Here power is shared and equally moves between them as a coordinated effort or psychological strategy. In unhealthy relationships that exist with a lack of balance, one person consistently dominates and intimidates the other into submission, even when they clearly lack knowledge and abilities in the area of life they’re dealing with. This is where one person wants to exercise exclusive control over the other through a form of dictatorship, that ultimately becomes abusive. In this type of situation, one is always in the process of trying to get power by taking it from the other, and a power struggle ensues. The other usually responds by retaliating and contesting, purposely deceiving them behind their back, or by becoming passive and weak while building resentment that turns into hatred.
In any situation or behavioral dynamic being acted out as a relationship, you can immediately establish who has power, who’s looking to get power by taking it, and who readily surrenders and gives up their power while succumbing to the will of another in order to be accepted, loved, or to be apart of things. A person who has power, and therefore doesn’t need to get it from others or establish it outwardly through station or status, is not only comfortable in themselves, but act to stimulate others through the demonstration of their own power, employing them in a sense through a form of shared power. When we outwardly demonstrate power, we inspire others to access their own power in relation to us. We don’t necessarily give our power to those who don’t have power of their own, but rather when we demonstrate power as confidence and clarity of mind and purpose, we give them an example of what power is, what it feels like, and how to recognize it in others and themselves. Just through the nature of our interaction we connect them with that same internal resource, activate it in response to us, and call it forth in them, while giving them an example as a possible means for expressing it by stepping into it and becoming it.
Because true personal power is the most valued human commodity, and so few people actually possess it, and even fewer people know how to openly and comfortably express it by demonstrating it, many have no role-model that gives them a clear idea of what power looks and feels like when you’re in the presence of it. This is largely because power is a self-contained quality that’s connected to and drawn on completely from an internal source and not sought outwardly through an interaction of some sort. When we’re in the “presence” of those who are powerful we form an immediate sense of admiration for them, that causes us to feel a certain way, where we naturally access those same qualities in ourselves by resonating with them and entering into a natural state of rapport with them. Because of this, we feel more powerful when we’re around them. By watching their behavior and attitude, we can model (imitate) it, and in doing so bring out in us the same feeling. We can acquire a behavior as a form of template or instruction for learning “how” to be in our power. We can then “practice” being in such a way that we connect to the inner resources of “being that way” becoming a channel for expressing that quality which reshapes our character according to it.
In order to access and develop a quality, we have to have a behavior or means for “being it”, that through the practice, we become like it. If we don’t have a pathway or way of doing something, we often stop at the realization of not knowing what to do or how to do it. This is what many people experience as being “stuck” when they’re attempting to change and transform their ability to manifest new realities by expressing in new ways. When it’s demonstrated for us, it acts to stimulate those same feelings in us, while giving us a model to imitate. By embracing that feeling while employing the same type of behaviors, we become the same in mind and body, and cultivate the same feeling state as a way of being in ourselves.
Whatever “state-of-being” is around us, we feel it’s presence through resonance, which activates those same feelings and qualities in us, calling them forth in response to it. As we “observe” the outward behaviors that express and inward feeling, and we “enter into them” through a state of rapport as inspiration (admiration), we naturally take on the same type of behaviors, becoming the outward expression of the same feeling-quality, and in being “one with it”, become the same as it. We not only access the same feeling-state within us that’s comparable to the outer state stimulating it, but we become the vehicle for expressing that state, and cultivate ourselves by way of that state to “be” like it.
This is the phenomenon of the most basic laws that govern our mind-body system as resonance (like begets like), sympathetic induction (vibration enters into the same vibration in another and produces an effect), and coherence that reorganizes the similar patterns of both to form a new pattern as a new whole. Whatever quality as a state of mind being outwardly demonstrated, stimulates, awakens, and brings into active expression that same feeling-state in everything around it. As it activates it and calls it forth, it becomes the basis of their interaction, which is the interactive expression of that same shared quality in both people. As it’s expressed through the dynamic (behavioral pattern) being acted out as the means for expression, it’s developed and strengthened in both people, and develops our character and tendencies through the shared enactment. We become one with the quality itself as a power, and it acts on us to reshape us into a new form and gives us a new way of being as the channel for expressing that characteristic.
So the quest for power that’s always going on, even when we don’t realize it or recognize it as such, is always acting on us to shape us in response to it. We only grow by what we resist. By recognizing this, we move into a position of not being affected by it by reacting to it in an automatic fashion, and we realize in that moment of control that we can “choose” our response. Once we begin realizing what’s going on energetically, while actively choosing how or if we’re going to respond, we begin exercising the first stages of taking back possession of our power to self-create and become self-determined through masterful use of our will. We can begin taking an objective view of any situation, seeing the underlying dynamic going on, and interact with it accordingly, with full awareness of what we’re doing and why. In this way we can truly exercise our power over the emotions of others and the material world, not by beating it into submission, but by entering into it while still maintaining full awareness of what we’re doing, become one in mind and body with it, then introduce an influence that will naturally bring out different qualities in others, and in doing so, lead it in a whole new direction through a state of complete cooperation.
This ability to work with the energy and consciousness of a situation is the exercise of true power and psychological dominion over the material plane as the ultimate form of leadership, where people don’t even realize they’re being led, and where you act to naturally bring out the best in people that creates an activity that serves the greater good in the most beneficial way possible for everyone involved. In a business sense, the greater good is the vision and mission of the business, and in an intimate relationship, the greater whole is the best possible response that brings out the best in each other and develops it through a loving and intimate interaction.
When we are in full possession of our own mind and body and able to operate it with strategic intelligence, we simultaneously realize that our power over others comes as a direct result of our power over ourselves, and the most natural way we control others is by how we influence them through our own behaviors. Not by attempting to exercise power over them or by reducing them to an inferior status, but by becoming an example for them to follow. We lead them by inspiring them in such a way that it brings out the best in them through an elevated state of being, that we then enter into a concert with becoming an example for them to imitate. We first act to bring out the necessary qualities and traits in others by embodying them ourselves, then give them a pathway for expressing them through the example we set, that elevates their station, and develops them through higher character traits to be fully empowered in their own lives by using their will as it’s intended to self-create and become a productive part of a greater idea to which they resonate and aspire towards. This not only creates a state of cooperation and uninhibited participation, but a sense of enthusiasm and passion that forms a deep sense of complete and utter devotion to the greater whole of which they are now an active and important part. The best way we lead as a demonstration of our power is by eliciting “love” in others through the beauty of our expressive abilities to inspire and enlighten and calls them to rise to new heights as an equal response to us.
Dr. Linda Gadbois
Innovative Management Services
About the author:
Dr. Linda is a Spiritual Scientist and scholar of Hermetic Sciences and Ancient Wisdom traditions. She’s a professional educator and trainer for all areas of personal transformation, self-creation, mind development, and soul/spiritual evolution. She practices Integrative Medicine with a special emphasis on Psychology and Creative therapies. She conducts ongoing classes, Playshops, and Adventure Seminars, and is available for private or group training, mentoring, and speaking engagements.
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