Whenever we are in the process of reacting to someone or something, it’s acting directly on us to control us. That’s what a reaction is. Naturally this occurs in both negative and harmful ways, as well positive and pleasurable ways. For example what we call “love”, causes a reaction we often refer to as ‘chemistry’, where our whole body, mind and emotions come alive with a heightened sense around the object of your love, is a reaction to an energetic stimulus that acts to entrain our mind into a form of hypnotic trance. Because this is a pleasurable experience we tend to eagerly allow it to consume us while entering into a state of total cooperation with it. Seduction is by far the best way to gain control over the will of another, while simultaneously instilling a sense of love and devotion. But of course . . . it all depends on what aspect of a person you want to control, and what you serve to ‘activate’ in them as a result.
Likewise, anytime we are in a reactive state of any kind, we’re literally being controlled by whatever or whomever it is that we’re reacting to. Whatever serves to control us, also serves to determine us. A reactive state, while natural in the most basic sense, comes from an inability (or lack of awareness) to manage our own internal state, and instead allow ourselves to be “triggered” by others and go off on an “automated tangent” as a form of “knee-jerk” reaction where we’re being tossed around by something. Whenever we fail to control ourselves, we open ourselves up to be controlled by things outside of ourselves. Most reactions come as the result of an emotion being activated in us that has a memory associated with it that provides a kind of “template” or pattern for a whole series of automatic (unconscious) behaviors. When we have trouble controlling our emotions, our emotions act on us to control us. We’re always either in control, or being controlled. Our reactions create experiences that define us by way of them and render various forms of karma as natural consequences, often without us ever realizing that is what’s actually happening. Being a reactive person is a very fundamental form of weakness that stems from not being able to use our will as a form of self-discipline.
Whatever is stimulated in us by another, serves to bring out that quality and develop it through the relationship as an ongoing interaction of action – reaction. Cause and effect. Positive reactions tend to develop us in positive ways through desirable emotional states and the nature of the interaction itself. While naturally reactions that come as a result of negative emotions and behaviors, serve to develop those qualities in us also. The idea becomes to gain control over your own internal state by becoming aware of how you’re being stimulated by an external factor at any given moment. Then, allowing yourself to realize, that relationships of all forms serve as very dynamic tools for transformation and act to develop in us whatever emotions, qualities, characteristics, and traits they naturally stimulate and call forth in us in response to them. Then realizing that this is your guide for determining what relationships are healthy and desirable, and which ones are detrimental to your growth and will only serve to develop you in very undesirable ways. The most important decisions we make in life in terms of self-creation is who and what we maintain relationships with that serve to naturally develop us accordingly.
Dr. Linda Gadbois
Transformational Coach and Spiritual Mentor