Self-Mastery: Learning how to not be affected by others

Many of us spend our whole life a slave to the attitude, behaviors, and opinions of other people. We’re in a constant form of reaction from one moment to the next, beings jerked around like a puppet on strings, often crushed by a rude comment. If someone is hateful or sarcastic in some way towards us, it can throw us into a tailspin that can last for days, weeks, or even months. Someone with a bad attitude that’s also aggressive can outright terrify us, especially with all the mass shootings being staged and publicized around the world. Most people spend their entire life being shaped and determined by other people and the rules of society, usually without any direct awareness of how it’s happening or the reason why. Many people have completely lost touch with their soul and their real power to create in their life, and don’t even realize it.

One of the most basic forms of empowerment comes from a fundamental understanding of psychology and what it is that drives people’s behaviors. By coming to understand what drives other people’s behaviors, we can gain a better understanding of our own behavior in response to them. We’re all only capable of “bringing out in others” more of what’s “like us”. Whatever qualities we embody and express outwardly act to stimulate and bring out those same qualities in others as a natural response to us. Energetically, we’re always vibrating the same state of mind in everyone we interact with. We’re always in the process of mentally and emotionally influencing others to become more like us by how we perceive them and treat them accordingly.

Anyone who has been beat down and criticized as a child, either grows up to beat others down with the same type of criticism and mental attitude, or they remain super sensitive to anyone who has an attitude of criticizing them. The act of criticizing produces an equal and complementary reaction. The effect produced is always an expression of what caused it. There are no exceptions to this rule. The confusion tends to come when we only look at one side of the equation, instead of recognizing that everything operates as a whole pattern. All patterns form as a “dynamic” that’s holistic in nature and played out unconsciously through our basic perception, attitude, conditioned tendencies, and automatic behaviors.

Most people when being criticized or dealing with a sarcastic or mean person, focus almost exclusively on the person they perceive as doing it “to them”, rather than focusing on what’s happening inside of them as their own reaction. All energy, which is what emotional expression is, exists in a fundamental state of polarity as complementary opposites that move in-sync with each other. Anger, for example, provokes either and equal or greater response of anger, which escalates and intensifies it, or it causes a fearful response that backs down and becomes submissive. Any emotional response, whether sympathetic or antipathetic, nurtures and sustains the anger/emotion because both people are cooperating with each other in co-creating a joint reality out of the “active force” of anger. Any “reaction”, which comes in an immediate and automatic fashion that matches the energy being projected, is a basic form of control. Anytime we’re reacting, we’re being controlled by whatever it is we’re reacting to. The easiest way there is to control someone is through their emotions and the sensationalized realities they create internally.

 Every human being develops their own “mental paradigm” based on their formative conditioning. All of our initial conditioning takes place while we’re in a primarily unconscious state, and acts to literally “program” our subconscious as the “model” of reality we form from it. All of our values, beliefs, preferences, and initial (developmental) memories are instilled in us as kids through our family dynamics. As we become adults our basic personality and way of perceiving others and the world around us has been firmly established and we simply continue to live out of the same perceptions, tendencies, and relationship dynamics that we were a part of as kids. We continue to view the world and others the same way we were taught. In psychology we say that “we become one of our parents, and we marry the other one”. Whatever type of relationships was modeled for us as kids and that we played an active role in, becomes the same type of relationships we enter into and maintain romantically, socially, and professionally. We play out the same ideas over and over with different people and situations.

These dynamics become the themes that serve as a metaphor for our life. They usually involve ideas around our self-esteem (image of ourselves), such as not being good enough, not being worthy, not loved or wanted, being stupid, bad, ugly, and so on, which is why they ultimately serve as self-fulfilling prophecies that we wrap our identify around as adults. We “become” whatever we’ve been programmed psychologically to become by what we were told, heard being said about us, and how we were treated by those we cared about the most. These life themes become what we refer to psychologically as “core beliefs” that are like the nucleus of our mental model and spawn all of our other beliefs as being correlated to the same basic idea.

Dissecting Our Experience

In order to really grasp the significance of this idea, let’s take a moment and examine how it is that we create our experiences. While we tend to think that others are capable of doing something “to us”, when we examine the process closely, we can realize that we’re actually the one doing it to ourselves. We are in fact the sole creator of all our “experiences”. This idea is often confused as being our “reality” in the objective sense of what happens outside of us, when in fact how we experience what happens to us is an internal process that we perform and conduct “on” ourselves using our mind. Creating our experiences comes initially as an “unconscious process”, which means we do it naturally without any “direct awareness” of the fact that we’re actually the one doing it to ourselves. Due to the naturalness of the process, it usually completely eludes us. Yet in order to gain control over our own natural and unconscious processes, we have to form an understanding of them as a mental concept. So let’s turn our full attention inward and become aware of how we form our reactions to others.

When someone says or does something that’s offensive, hurtful, sarcastic, or mean, something that’s designed to get a rise out of us and place us in their control, we experience it as an intense internal stimulus that comes as an “emotional charge”. Once you experience the emotional stimulus, you instantly associate it to a memory where the same type of emotion and behavior was involved. Through association to a past event of the same kind, the same emotion and state are awakened and made active in you, bringing it out in you as a natural reaction. Your mind interprets “this” to mean the same thing as “that”, and you react in the present with the same emotional behavior as the past. We then act out the same behaviors and dynamics, and begin telling ourselves the same type of story about what it means about them and us in relation to them.

The story we tell ourselves as our thoughts and internal dialogue follow the same theme as our memory of the past. Emotions are always associated to memories we formed while in the same emotional state. Emotions are what drive and produce all of our natural and automatic behaviors. We’re most naturally and easily made to behave in certain ways through our emotions. Emotional memories give our subconscious the “pattern” it needs for producing automatic realities and behaviors that don’t require any thought, appraisal or decisions.

When we live out of our emotions we live out of the memories and conditioning of our past and continue to create more of the same type of experiences. We repeat the same patterns with the same type of people and relive the same type of experiences in new ways over and over. As we create our experiences, we simultaneously identify with them, and shape ourselves “through” our experiences. We once again replay the broken and worn out record that says we’re not good enough, worthless, stupid, not wanted, loved, blah, blah, blah, and due to the fact that we produce an “experience of ourselves” out of the emotional charge, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

From a purely psychological perspective, we only “react” to and feel hurt or threatened by those who are conditioned to the same type of dynamics as we are, and therefore naturally play the role necessary for acting it out. Whenever we’re triggered by someone’s behavior towards us, it’s actually providing us with a mirror to learn how to see things in ourselves that we’re normally not fully aware of. It’s showing us where we’re still living out of the illusions and pain of the past that we never came to terms with, identified accurately, or put to rest. It’s still alive and active within us because we haven’t gained any real awareness around it that brought self-realization. Due to the fact that we still maintain a belief around it as being true, we continue to faithfully act it out over and over with the right people.

A person’s attitude and behaviors stem from their mental paradigm and psychological complexes, and in reality, have nothing to do with us. When someone calls us stupid, it doesn’t mean that we are in fact stupid, but shows us that they were made to feel stupid as a kid growing up, and are now compensating by trying to make others feel stupid in order to somehow elevate themselves above them. The lower they make someone else, the higher they become in comparison. They’re unconscious beings who are used to verbally attacking others in the same way they were verbally abused. Their opinion, perception, attitude and conduct only serves to “reveal” who “they are” and says nothing meaningful about us . . . unless, of course, we let it.

When we take what others say and do personally by internalizing it, we actually believe what they’re saying and accept it as being true about us, especially if we grew up being called the same names. The reason we “react emotionally” is because we’re used to it and we’ve been treated that way in the past. When we react by being hurt or offended, we’re actually agreeing with them and may secretly feel it’s somehow true. That’s what a reaction is. We know how to play a role in the reality they’re creating, and so we cooperate by participating in making it real. For example, if you know you’re not stupid or dumb, and someone calls you that, it has no effect on you in the most basic sense; outside of the fact that you may think they’re being rude. Nothing gets stimulated internally and there are no memories of the same type that are necessary to produce and automatic and immediate reaction. Anytime we react to being called a name it’s because deep down inside we think it may be true.

Self-Observation and Realization

In order to understand this psychological process, simply observe your own reactions from a neutral and unbiased standpoint. Start by finding a place and time where you can have privacy, and sit calmly and fully relax. Then recall an event where you felt hurt or upset by something someone said or did to you, and reflect on it in slow motion. Slow it down and review it step by step. Recall what was said or done, how it was said or done, what attitude, emotions, and behaviors were involved, and what it was regarding. Then turn all of your attention inward and focus exclusively on your own internal process.

Recall the emotional charge as it entered your body, and notice where in your body it lodged and stimulated you. Notice the nature of the stimulus by describing it in sensory terms. Was it sharp and stabbing, did it give you a sinking feeling, or did it cause you to feel afraid or scared? Notice what emotion was activated in you, and while refraining from going into a reaction again or telling yourself a story about it that justifies your right to react the way you did, just notice and witness what you’re thought process was and what it seemed to be about.

Allow yourself to notice what it brought up for you. What memory of the past started playing out in the background of your mind. What is it that you begin telling yourself about what it “means”? Then allow a natural chain-of-association to form as any other related or similar memories or scenario’s that it acted to prompt. Notice and become aware of anything that arises in relation to this event. Resist the tendency to repress it in any way, explain it away, or justify your right to be hurt or upset, and just observe your own internal process from a neutral and unbiased perspective. Then allow yourself to realize that you’re actually the one “creating” the state of being hurt or upset. No one is thinking your thoughts or feeling your feelings for you. You’re actually the one “doing it” to yourself by how you’re using your mind and body. It may feel as if you can’t help it (which is what unconscious means), but just notice and watch what’s going on inside of you.

Once you gain true self-awareness around what’s happening and why, and you bring what’s happening unconsciously into conscious awareness, this awareness alone neutralizes its effect. At the same time, you can become aware of what it is in you or about you that you need to heal and transform. All true healing is psychological in nature, and comes only by shedding light on the hidden aspects of your own psyche. We naturally act to heal ourselves by becoming aware of the patterns as memories we incurred as children that are continuing to act out in our life by forming all of our natural perceptions and reactive behaviors. Through awareness of the fact that we’re the one creating the reality of our memories, we dissolve them, and they no longer play out in an automatic fashion. We can be around the same person doing the same thing, and it no longer bothers us. We perceive it in a matter of fact way and no longer engage with them in co-creating that reality for ourselves.

As a general practice, if you do this process of self-reflection anytime you’re being triggered into a reaction of some kind, it’ll help you to become self-aware and resume conscious control of yourself and what it is you’re acting to create. You can begin healing yourself and taking back your power to create in a more aware and responsible manner. As you begin neutralizing your emotional reactions to others and the events of your life, you take back control of your own life. As you start remaining calm and clear headed in relation to others, you can begin developing skill in using your mind and imagination in a more deliberate and purposeful way. As you begin creating from a conscious and self-aware state, you take over the process of facilitating your own growth and development. You take back and begin utilizing your soul’s ability to create yourself from a fully awake and aware state and in whatever way you want and decide to.

Dr. Linda Gadbois

Defining Reality – Objective, Subjective, and the Nature of Illusion

There tends to be a constant form of confusion around the idea of what we call “reality” in the objective sense, and the nature of subjective reality as a personal experience. Whenever the term “illusion” or “delusion” is used, it’s referring to the subjective reality that we all create out of or in place of the objective, neutral and meaningless reality we all share in common. So let’s break these interrelated ideas down by describing and explaining them separately . . . .

Objective Reality

What we refer to as objective reality is the one that we all share in common and exists in a neutral state that’s void of meaning. This is what we can think of as the “unified field of information” that contains all attributes, qualities, archetypes, images, life-forms, and so on, that lays the foundation necessary for creating individual realities that are cohesive and correlated to the overall shared reality. This is the field of possibility that exists before anything is filtered out, abstracted and reformulated by the individual mind. In an outdoor setting we all see and hear the same trees, sky, bushes, flowers, sidewalk, cars, buildings, etc. In an indoor setting we all see the same furnishings, artwork, plants, people, and so on, as the basic elements that make up that environment.

When we share an environment or event, we’re all submerged in and a part of the same group information that’s available to everyone involved as a means of forming our perception and experience of the situation. This can be thought of as the universal, archetypal reality of the collective unconscious or mass consciousness of humanity (and Nature) as the group mind of the earth plane. This is a global reality that’s comprised of common elements.

Subjective Reality

What we refer to as subjective reality is the one that’s naturally created by the individual mind as their perception and how they form their own individual “experience” of the objective reality through an internal process. Our experience of the external world is formed by our mental paradigm as the informational structure of our mind formed out of accumulated memory. Our mental paradigm basically consists of our habitual mood, values, beliefs, preferences, and memories. As we form a “value” of some kind, a mental filter is created and set in place that acts to filter all the information that’s available in any given situation, abstracting and causing to stand out whatever pertains to our value in some way – whether for or against it.

Likewise, as we form a belief about something it sets up a series of mental filters that bring forward in our outer reality only what matches and can be used in a cohesive manner to create the reality of our belief. All other information that doesn’t pertain to our belief recedes and fades into the background where it goes largely unnoticed. We don’t use it in order to create our experience. By way of this natural process of filtering and only using certain parts of the information available in the whole, we act to naturally perceive our beliefs as an actual reality, making them seem real and because of this we don’t realize their beliefs. Preferences as likes and dislikes do the same thing. Filters are created based on preferences that produce a feeling of harmony or discord and become attributes that aid in shaping our experiences.

Our memories serve as a kind of metaphorical filter that we look through that brings to the foreground in an enhanced manner whatever can be used in a situation to create the same type of experience as the memory. Our memories set the basis for all of our intentions and expectations in a situation. Whatever expectation we hold as a preconceived notion forms a predisposition and acts to only select and utilize the information that’s necessary to create what we expected.

Our mind acts as an information processing mechanism that’s always sorting out information and reorganizing it into unique configurations as a means of creating our experiences of any given set of circumstances. Our mental model exists as a kind of “theme” (frequency) that consistently produces the same type of reality that’s unique to us as our own creation. Every personal experience is the expression of one possibility out of an infinite number of possibilities. And every person will form a unique version of reality out of the same overall reality as their perception of it.

Perception, Meaning, and the Nature of Experience

Our perception in any situation is formed by the perceptual filters set into place as the means of sorting through billions of bits of information to abstract only a handful and reconfigure it into a new idea as an “interpretation” of the data selected. The data obtained in any situation is abstract and void of meaning until it’s interpreted. Out of a small amount of selected information we form our interpretation as a means of creating our experience by the “meaning” we give it by how we reform it internally as a congruent part of an ongoing story.

The meaning we give things forms our internal dialogue as a kind of story we’re always in the process of telling ourselves about things. We take the information naturally selected as a match to our values, preferences, and beliefs and further modify them by how we adapt them to the ongoing story we’re always in the process of telling as a means of explaining and describing things. This ongoing story that we’re always in the process of telling is what gives things the meaning they have for us and ultimately becomes a kind of “life theme” that produces a consistent version of reality. Through a simple process of self-observation you’ll notice that there’s always one part of you talking to another part of you.

The very act of observing and perceiving something reorganizes the different aspects of it, enhancing and strengthening some, while downplaying and ignoring others, reshaping it into a new variable as a means of experiencing it. Any belief that we form becomes a filter that not only determines what we see or don’t see in a situation, but also determines how we interpret it to give it the meaning that it has. Things only mean what we say they mean. This forms another fundamental misconception. All meaning is subjective in nature and varies with every single person. We create our experience of any situation or event based on the meaning we give it and what we “tell ourselves” about it as a result.

What something means to us is based on our values and what’s important or not important to us, what we believe to be true and thereby use as a means of evaluating it for accuracy, and the memories we associate with it as a means of interpreting it. Our memories not only act to shape our values and what we come to believe or disbelieve, but are in return shaped out of our values and beliefs, which all act together in a cohesive manner to spawn each other while also serving to support, validate, and justify each other in forming a coherent version of reality that’s consistent and always makes sense to us.

Our values, beliefs, preferences, and memories work together to produce a coherent model as a dynamic series of mental filters that function to only perceive the information in the whole that can be used to construct the reality of our mental paradigm. Each person acts to develop their own mental model which is used to produce a subjective variation of an objective neutral reality as the means of creating. Our experience of reality is something we’re (our mind) always creating. While others may act to give us the subliminal suggestions that become our subconscious programming, we are always the one accepting and integrating it into our mental paradigm and then utilizing it as a means of creating ourselves.

For example, a person who forms a belief that they’re “not wanted” will interpret any situation or actions of another to mean that. They’ll only see in any situation what they can use as the means of creating an experience of not being wanted, and are constantly acting to validate their own beliefs. Even when someone does want them and demonstrates that through their actions and how they treat them, they’ll still interpret it in whatever way they need to as a means of creating the experience of not being wanted. This tendency and natural ability to skew reality to make it mean whatever we decide to, is what’s commonly referred to as an “illusion”.

Illusions that become Delusions

When we form convincing realities out of our beliefs (which is a natural function of the mind), it forms an illusion that we use as the means of deceiving and deluding ourselves. This means it’s only real to us and nobody else sees it or experiences it in the same way that we do. The same situation will cause one person to feel not wanted, while another may feel they’re being coerced or manipulated, while still another may find it friendly and inviting. Each person will interpret the same behaviors and activities to mean different things and create entirely different types of experiences based on their subconscious programming. Every person that’s a part of the same situation is experiencing it in a different way based on how it’s filtered through their mental paradigm.

 We don’t ever change the objective outer reality directly in terms of what everyone else is also seeing, but rather how it “appears” to us. All things take on the appearance they do as a reflection of the mind viewing them and acting to shape them as a mental projection. The same objective reality appears different to each individual observing and producing an experience of it. As we turn an objective reality into a personal version as our experience, we become subject to our own creation. As we create our own experience of reality, we sense ourselves “as” and “through” our experience, and we shape our perception of our “self” to be the same.

We “become” whatever we believe about ourselves as an experience, and by what we tell ourselves about things that make them mean what they do. As we assign meaning to things we form our story about our self out of them by experiencing our self “through them”. As we form realities out of our beliefs, they become delusions that we willfully maintain even when situations serve to contradict or disprove them. Most people will argue to defend their beliefs about things rather than change them. They fall in love with their own opinions while mistaking them for being true. As we tell our story about things we build our identity around them and use them as a means of explaining what happened to us that made us the way we are, and rather than changing our inner world we expect the outer world to somehow magically change instead. This is because we don’t realize that the outer world is being created by our inner world as a correspondence.

Delusion and how we Deceive Ourselves

Our core beliefs are formed by us as children based on how we interpreted intense emotional events before we developed our ability to reason and logically analyze them in an objective manner. As children, we’re in a purely unconscious and subjective state where everything is about us. The primary beliefs we formed out of emotional states became the premise and mental filters out of which we formed all of our other beliefs. The story we began telling ourselves as a child in order to try and make sense of emotionally charged experiences, formed the basis for our mental model out of which we processed all information as a means of creating our perception of reality. It became our subconscious programming that formed the basis for all of our experiences. Whatever we program our subconscious with as an “imaginary emotionally intense idea” becomes the basis for reality as an experience. Because we can experience the reality of our beliefs we don’t realize that they’re only true due to our ability to create them through our perception of them.

We don’t form individual beliefs about things, but rather form a system of beliefs that are compatible and serve to support, justify, validate, and prove each other. This is why experiences that contradict a single belief or perspective is usually ignored, argued against, or discredited using other beliefs, and the belief maintained instead, and sometimes even strengthened as a result. To change a belief requires changing the core belief spawning it, which comes only through a shift in awareness that alters and modifies our paradigm.

All beliefs are formed out of our mental model and can only be changed by incorporating new information that modifies the whole structure. This only comes through direct experience that’s contemplated as a consideration that’s allowed to take hold in the imagination where it’s formed into a possible, and therefore “believable” reality as an internal experience. We can only comprehend what we can form as an internal representation, and we can only do what we can first imagine ourselves doing.

This natural process of the individual mind in creating reality by imagining it is what’s referred to as replacing objective reality with illusions that become a form of delusion. When we don’t realize how our own mind works to create our reality, and we’re always operating out of an unconscious state, our tendency towards self-deception is enormous and often very compelling. This results from the fact that we don’t understand how our own mind works and haven’t developed the skill in knowing how to operate it consciously. Because the most powerful aspect of our mind operates without our direct awareness we don’t realize its power to create. Through a lack of true self-awareness we become subject to our own creations instead of mastering our ability to create. Anytime we live out of the story of our formative conditioning as the basis for our perceptions and means of interpreting the events of our life, we live a life of delusion and unknowingly act on ourselves to deceive ourselves.

Summary:

What we’ve come to call “reality” is a very elusive idea that’s constantly being reshaped to take on a new and unique appearance based on the mind interacting with it. Each individual cultivates their own mental model which acts as a filtering system for abstracting certain information in any situation and reorganizing it by how they interpret it to give it meaning. The meaning we give things shapes how we form our experience of it. Our experience comes as our feelings and internal dialogue as what we tell ourselves about it while reforming it in our mind as a internal representation. Meaning, like the mind creating it, is threefold in nature. Whatever we make something mean through our story about it means the same thing about us, other people, and the world in general. Whatever beliefs we form about ourselves, we also use as the means of shaping others and the events of the world to be of the same nature and idea. Every aspect of our reality supports every other aspect, and serves to prove and justify it as being real and therefore true.

We create a subjective experience of reality from a completely unconscious state, and as a result, don’t realize what we’re doing. We don’t realize our mind’s own power to create, and so we imagine we have no control over it. We can live our whole life feeling as though everything is happening “to us” and beyond our ability to change it. Because we’re programmed subconsciously at an early age, we consistently grow up in the reality being produce by our programming, and don’t realize we’re the one actually creating it. Once we begin realizing how our own mind works to form beliefs around whatever we’ve been taught, we can become self-aware and recognize how it is we’re doing it. Once we begin realizing and forming a practical understanding of how our mind works to create our experiences of reality, we can begin operating it in an intentional and deliberate manner by learning how to program ourselves to produce the type of experiences we want.

Dr. Linda Gadbois

Humility, Shedding the False Ego, and the True Path of Liberation

There always seems to be a strange kind of reality around ideas that exist as a form of paradox that breeds constant illusions as misunderstandings produced through incorrect interpretations. What’s commonly referred to as “shedding our ego”, or experiences that come as the “death” of the ego, can seem very misleading and often set us off on the wrong path, because they start off with an incorrect idea, and so all that comes from it is an expression of that same error. As higher spiritual beings with the power to self-create, we shape ourselves by whatever it is we “identify” with. Our identity, unlike our personality, is what gives us the potential for becoming “unique individuals” through conscious use of our higher capacities of self-realization, choice, and will.

The term ego and identity are synonymous and can be used interchangeably to describe the same principle. The only question becomes what it is that we use as the means for creating ourselves. When we shape our sense of self based on possessions, social standing, roles, relationships, physical appearance, job, and so on, we create ourselves out of a temporary, illusion oriented idea as what we call the “false ego” or false identity. When we create a false image of ourselves, we condemn ourselves to a mortal life that “dies” with the body and the social situation it was dependent on. If we use our material circumstances and the roles we play in order to know who we are, then we condemn our eternal soul to the confinement and limitations of the body and our soul becomes its servant.

Death of the False Ego

The “experience” of what we call the “death of the false ego” however, is a “life shattering” experience that’s very painful to endure and difficult to utilize for its liberating effects. When we not only lose our life-situation and social standing that we built our identity out of, but also our very means of security, it can cast us into a very dark place of unimaginable grief and hopelessness, often referred to as the “dark night of the soul”. As we fall into what seems like a bottomless pit of our own creation, a true transformation takes place, and it either does us in and we succumb to a new illusion of defeat that we build about ourselves in place of the old one, or we learn how to access a higher aspect of our self that we then use as the means for transforming ourselves. We either die in the flames of our own dissolution, never to rise again, or we rise from the ashes an entirely new being.

My Own Experience of Humility and Transformation

Even though I was born into a very impoverished situation as one of five children raised by a single mom on welfare, not having things was normal to me and I never used material things as the means of creating an image of myself. Instead I used my talents, intellect, special abilities, and willpower to succeed. Losing things never really affected me much because I didn’t have things to begin with. I was used to going without and only having what I barely needed in order to survive. I did however build an image of myself as being poor and impoverished and therefore inferior in some way, and knew I had to work extra hard in order to build a better life for myself than I was raised with.

As I went through life, I had constant life situations that required me to put everything I had at risk in order to “be there” for those I loved and who needed me. I incurred and dealt with many challenging situations where I lost everything I owned that was of any value, and I had to file bankruptcy on astronomical medical bills at a very young age. This only had a minimal effect on me at the time because I didn’t place much value on material things and knew I could make it without them. I had developed confidence in myself to be able to rebuild whatever was lost. When I was making decisions as to what I was going to do, I was very clear on what mattered and what didn’t, and so decisions came relatively easy for me.

As I went through life I was very successful in my career, became an Entrepreneur in my twenties, and built very prosperous businesses on several occasions. In my forties I helped build a business that became worth several million dollars, and was traveling the world as a consultant, workshop leader, and public speaker. I provided consulting services and professional training to other Entrepreneurs while deciding to return to college to earn my doctorate. As a result of my education, I then began providing professional training for applied psychology and Healing Arts. I was given an honorary award as a “world leader in integrative psychology and Mind-Body Medicine”, and published many scientific papers in several professional journals. I was also very far into my spiritual development, and when faced with the idea of whether or not I had an inflated ego, I honestly felt I didn’t because I had a fairly detached perspective on things and was able to see the true nature of things clearly from a highly objective perspective. I had no need to be in the limelight and often put out work without the need for any form of recognition.

As I built what became a very lucrative business (medical center), I was involved in a relationship that caused me to start feeling disillusioned with my life and the ethical nature of the business world. I was living an extremely stressful and face-paced life that resulted in adrenal exhaustion and anxiety attacks that made me feel like I was having heart problems. My partner was also extremely stressed out and his behavior started reflecting it with increased severity that became very destructive and demeaning. He threw what I referred to as “temper tantrums” that would frequently turn over several staff members in one episode. After a while I even had trouble hiring doctors because no one would work with him. I felt as though I was constantly caught up in a form of “damage control” and trying to fix whatever he destroyed. Once I fulfilled what I considered my professional obligation to the situation, I decided to leave. By leaving the relationship, I also left the business, and lost a large part of my livelihood. But I had established a fairly lucrative consulting practice so it didn’t seem to matter.

As I was adjusting to my new situation while still having a couple of years of school left, I started having a kind of foreboding feeling as though something heavy and dark was coming. I had a very strong desire to move to Kauai where I owned a vacation home, but felt tied down with far too many material possessions. I then started forming a desire to de-materialize by sorting out what was important and meaningful and what wasn’t. At the same time I was becoming spiritually aware of my “true goal” in life, which was to transcend this plane altogether at death. I knew that in order to do this I had to detach mentally and emotionally from the material world itself while also resolving all the karma I still had with others that bonded me to them energetically. It seemed as though every time I formed a realization around something that led to making a “sincere decision”, that decision began facilitating the events of my life as the means of fulfilling it. I didn’t have to make all the little decisions or figure out how to do it, all I had to do was form the decision as a spiritual commitment, and the process was set in motion that seemed to be happening automatically while beyond my ability to control it.

Shortly after this, the financial crisis of 2008 hit and within a relatively short period of time I lost nearly all of my investments, savings, and retirement. My most loyal consulting clients were also devastated financially, and my thriving practice began dwindling. I lost my home in the mountains and had to move back to the city and try to find work after being an Entrepreneur for over 25 years. I worked providing consulting services on a contract basis, and was engaged in a seven month project that I was never paid for because the company ended up filing bankruptcy. My consulting business continued to dissolve and as I tried to get a job nothing came through. No matter what I tried, nothing worked, and I began consistently selling off and losing most of my belongings. My vehicle was leased through my company, and it was eventually repossessed. As I was experiencing complete financial loss, I had 4 months of school left and I committed to making sure I completed what at that time was my PhD.

As I was writing the hypothesis for my thesis, I wanted to write about “Personal Transformation that came by Choice and not as a Crisis”. I wanted to write about it from within the “experience” of it rather than a clinical study. The very foundation of Spiritual Sciences is based on the fact that we only truly learn, and thereby “know” something through “experience”. It’s only through experience that knowledge is integrated into our paradigm, upgrading and evolving it as a result. But the peer review group wouldn’t allow me to do it that way and insisted that it be written as a form of “research” instead. It was so important to me to remain true to the “science” of acquiring the knowledge through direct experience that I decided to forfeit the PhD. program and simply complete my doctorate instead. But the “commitment and importance” of writing about it from “within the actual experience of it” in order to capture the human drama of it remained with me and continued to shape the events of my life accordingly as if it was beyond my control to change it.

As I concentrated in order to finish up the last few classes, I started getting a vision as a pervading thought of living in my van (I had bought for my mother). I’m very aware of the creative power of thought as visualizations, yet this was coming as an idea that I wasn’t generating consciously, but was being “given” to my subconscious as a form of prophecy. As I finished school and accomplished my doctorate and was “patting myself on the back”, relieved in my achievement, this solemn voice inside calmly said . . . “now that you have the theory down, let’s practice” . . . and I knew from that moment on that I was in for the ride of my life, and I tried to mentally prepare myself for what I knew was coming.

I continued to steadily lose my possessions, not being able to get work, and struggling in the most basic sense. Every time I tried to figure things out by attempting to grab onto and bring back to life the only security I had known by recreating my old situation in a new way, simply didn’t work. The people who knew me as my professional persona quit talking to me because I was no longer “successful”, and all opportunities seemed to fade away. My friends quit calling and inviting me places, and I slowly became alone and isolated. My family took an attitude of almost enjoying seeing me “fall from grace” because they were jealous of my achievements and saw me as “thinking I was somehow better than them”. They began making constant comments about how I finally got to see what it was like for the rest of them, not seeming to acknowledge that I had come from the same place they did. I was told that I was going to have to learn how to “stoop” and maybe get a job at Starbucks or Walmart. I didn’t have anyone to stay with and literally ended up all alone sleeping in my van along a dark deserted street.

The Realization that Brought an Awakening

I can’t even describe the pain I felt in realizing that everything I had built my life around was an illusion. When I saw the true nature of people I thought I knew, I felt overwhelmed with disgust at how selfish, small, and pathetic they seemed. They somehow made me out to be a lazy low-life that was expecting “hand-outs”. I was shocked and dismayed in light of all the things I had been able to accomplish in my life up to that point, and that’s when I finally realized the true meaning of what the “false ego” really is. The “image” I had built of myself based on worldly accomplishments that won me recognition and the admiration of others, and my ability to build wealth out of nothing and work my way into high positions with total confidence, was how I was “shaping” my perception of myself as the kind of person I was. This false idea I had built about myself only attracted those who were of the same false image. My life had been built around a total illusion of my own making that was so convincing that I even deceived myself, because in the experience of my own demise, I realized I didn’t even know for sure who I really was. My belief in the image I had built of myself became my own undoing.

As I went through a long period of total despair, I felt like I was a fool and had even been abandoned by God. This was extremely amplified by the fact that I was also in the process of going blind. I had been diagnosed with macular degeneration at the age of 40, and it was now reaching a point of crisis where functioning in the most normal sense was becoming increasingly difficult. This greatly accelerated my feelings of despair and being all alone in the world and not knowing why this was happening to me. What had I ever done to “deserve” this? My life didn’t seem to have any purpose, and as I lost my most basic resources, I felt as though I didn’t even matter anymore. After all the work I had been through to build a good life I was going to end up poor, blind, and all alone in life. Kicked to the curb and left to suffer as I slowly diminished. Every night as I laid down to sleep I prayed for death. All I wanted was to end my suffering and fade silently into the abyss. Without purpose my life had no meaning.

Realizing Who I Am

Throughout my life I’ve always been a compulsive writer and have always processed my life experiences and how I was feeling by writing about them. One of my most prevalent tendencies in life has always been to study subjects in-depth, forming a clear understanding of them, and then write about them. I’ve been creating books and journals for as long as I can remember. As an artist early in life, it wasn’t a love for painting or writing that compelled me to create, but the desire to capture a feeling as a realization and express it in a way that gave the viewer or reader the same feeling and realization. Once the overwhelming grief and intense feelings of loss and disillusionment began slowly subsiding, it suddenly dawned on me that what was happening in its wake was that I was starting to reconnect with my true self.

There was a part of me that remained alive all these years and I continued to do as what I considered my true life’s work. I came into the world with talents, natural desires, and tendencies that formed the basis for all my material accomplishments. Through everything that I had lost (which was a great deal) I had managed to keep what was not only important to me, but that was truly “mine”; my paintings, art supplies, and a good part of my writings and books. These were the same things I engaged in naturally as a child and young adult, and were the core of my being. These parts of me never went away and couldn’t be lost or taken away from me by an outside force. As I was all alone in life, I was still studying, writing, and painting.

As I began reorganizing my life from a new perspective and exhausted the feelings of grief and moral despair, I realized that I had got my wish. I realized from a strangely clear perspective that I had undergone the experience of transformation as a decision I had made for myself, that was then carried out and conducted by my higher-self. What I realized as a flaw in my hypothesis is that true transformation is experienced “as” a crisis. It comes as a crisis in identity where all of the illusions of my life either fell away, were taken away, or lost somehow through what appeared to be a course of natural events, and only what was true remained present.

As I lost everything that I used to create my life and identity, I realized that not only did my true self remain completely intact, but became amplified due to the fact that I had freed up a great deal of time and energy I was spending on other things. Due to the fact that I couldn’t seem to rebuild what was lost, I became clear on what was real and an essential part of me that couldn’t be taken away or lost, because it wasn’t based on material factors. It was my soul’s essence which equipped me with everything I needed to fulfill my soul’s purpose. As I abruptly disconnected from my own self-created delusions about myself and my purpose in the world, I began naturally reconnecting with my soul. In reconnecting with my soul’s essence, I began drawing all my power from an internal source.

I realized that most of what I thought I needed and was important, I didn’t need at all and it only had the importance I gave it. That my life only “meant” what I said it meant. I lost all desire for material wealth and status, and felt a newfound kind of freedom. I severed all relationships that were based on illusions while simultaneously maintaining my love for the people because I realized with absolute clarity that they were still caught up in the illusion of their own making and honestly didn’t know any better. I realized I wasn’t abandoned by God, but by my own illusions of God. That the process that had been unconsciously facilitated by my Higher-Self based on my decision to dedicate my life to the truth and transcend this plane of illusion, was a loving act designed to bring me home and reconnect me to the absolute truth of who I am as a spiritual and universal being.

As I detached from the need to somehow control and determine the events and outcomes of my life, I felt completely unaffected by it all. I realized that other people’s opinion of me was shaped as a reflection of their own character as making me into the same type of person they are, and I detached from their projections as a result. I quit looking outward for approval and acceptance, or in an attempt to somehow acquire power from an outside source, and began always residing inward and drawing my strength from an internal source that never dwindled or subsided, but grew in strength as I began depending on it.

I began identifying almost exclusively with my spiritual self instead of my physical self, and all selfish motives and material desires left me. I began cultivating the ability to see the truth in everyone and everything by remaining tuned to the inner nature of things and what was motivating all their perceptions and actions, instead of basing it on the outer appearance of things. I became detached from the emotions being projected at me by others, and remained calm and unaffected by them, and as a result, stayed present with the truth without needing to somehow change it. I realized that my own emotions were the result of what I focused on and how I thought about things, and I began thinking in more universal and meaningful ways.

As I became more and more identified with my Higher-Self and quit building a life of illusion, I began sensing myself as “being in this world but not of it”. I quit looking to “get something” from my interactions with others, and looked instead to give to others in whatever way served their higher good and the good of everyone involved. I began empathizing with their soul’s journey as a dynamic means of learning and growing instead of seeing them only for their unconscious shortcomings and outward faults born out of confusion. I realized that now, and only now am I truly qualified to teach others the knowledge of higher wisdom by having apprehended it through experience . . . which is what my soul’s purpose is in this life.

Only those who are humble can conceive of higher truth without distorting it through the interpretations of their ego. As long as we maintain and live out of a false image and idea about ourselves and the world, we only resonate and act to receive more knowledge of the same kind. When we’re motivated by selfish needs and in love with our own opinions that we mistake for truth, we distort and corrupt true knowledge as a means of serving our own agendas or in order to somehow justify whatever it is we need to in order to maintain it as being true. When we form beliefs out of illusions, we bond ourselves to the world of illusions. When we form our identity around material things and mistake ourselves for being the personality of our body, we become mortal beings who die with our body. When we reside in a state of true detachment from false ideas and selfish motives, we’re able to receive knowledge from higher planes and witness it “as it is” without distorting it by forming personal interpretations. Only what we acquire by “being it” and “living it” as a direct experience becomes the basis for true wisdom. We only truly know what we become and do.

Dr. Linda Gadbois

Realizing your True Self and Transcending the False Ego of your Past

One of the most fundamental spiritual errors we make in life is in believing that we are the personality of our body and conditioning. As a human soul born into an animal body, we acquire the physical characteristics and ancestral memory that’s inherent in our genes. Our genetic makeup bestows us with the basic tendencies that are then developed by our family dynamics (those who share the same tendencies) as our formative conditioning that serves to birth our initial identity (ego). Through our formative conditioning we form a story about our self that becomes our life theme. As we grow into adults we take over the process of continuing to condition ourselves by living out of the same story. We usually do this without ever realizing that the only reason it holds true for us is because we continue to live our life as though it’s true. Many people (actually most), firmly believe that they “are” their personality as they were shaped by others and society, and have no real ability to change themselves. They live their entire life without ever realizing that they’re actually the “story-teller” and one that’s producing the reality of their story, rather than a mere consequence of the story itself.

As we come into this life and our soul acquires the qualities of our genetic makeup, we’re initially shaped by others and outside forces to strengthen and develop certain qualities while others remain latent and underutilized. We exist as children in a predominately unconscious state (of hypnosis) where we readily take in and internalize whatever consciousness is actively being expressed and demonstrated all around us. Whatever dynamics we’re apart of as a family structure, we become programmed with, and they serve to form the foundation for the story we begin telling ourselves as a means of making sense of things as we begin developing our conscious mind (between 8 and 21 years).

Our personality is formed from an unconscious state as a form of hypnotic programming that lays the foundation as a life theme for our identity to spontaneously emerge through our conscious development. As we begin thinking for ourselves and forming our own ideas about things (somewhere around puberty) we take over our own unconscious programming as our internal dialogue and the perceptual filters that we use for producing all of our experiences. We take over where our family left off, and our parent’s voice becomes our own internal voice and the means through which we interpret things to give them meaning through the story we begin telling ourselves about them. Our conditioning forms the basis for all of our initial internal dialogue as our means of thinking and processing information to form a consistent experience of our self, others, and the world around us. Out of this initial story-line as a life theme we consciously begin developing our identity by the roles we naturally take on and play through the relationship we form with the outer world and our life circumstances.   

All of our primary memories are formed from significant emotional events in our life that had a strong impact of some kind that altered us in some way. The emotional impact came at a time when we couldn’t rationalize it in an objective manner, and so we processed the experience internally by making it all about us. As a child we perceive ourselves as being one with our family unit and haven’t yet developed the mental capacity to see ourselves as sovereign individuals. Whatever we hear being said about us by others around us we accept as being true without questioning it, and form beliefs about our self as a result. Through a basic form of hypnotic suggestion we’re given (subliminally programmed with) the same values, attitudes, perspectives, beliefs, emotional states, and behavioral dynamics as our family unit. We always shape ourselves to be just like our family, or what we imagine to be the opposite (relate or contrast), but either way, we still form ourselves by way of our family.

As we grow older we fall into a very specific and pronounced role within that dynamic and we begin developing ourselves based on what we’ve been taught to believe about ourselves and the way things are. Whatever other people say about us when we’re a child acts as a creative directive (hypnotic suggestion) for our subconscious to produce as a reality. The beliefs we form about ourselves as a child become our “core beliefs” out of which we form all of our other beliefs as a correlation, and ultimately becomes a form of “self-fulfilling prophecy”. What we call our soul’s “destiny” is usually the result of our conditioning as our “false identity”.

By the time our conscious and self-aware mind develops fully (around 21 to 28 years old), where we develop the powers of reasoning, discernment, and the ability to logically analyze things, and we separate emotionally from our parents and begin seeing our self as an individual, we’re already programmed and take over the process of conditioning (creating) ourselves by continuing to live out of our past. We continue to see ourselves and process our experiences as we’ve been taught to through our conditioning, and the voice of those who judged and criticized us becomes our own internal voice that we continue playing over and over in our mind.

How we Shape Ourselves

We all have a tendency to only live out of a handful of memories that we use as the means of constructing our story about ourselves and our life. These are the memories that had the greatest impact on us, and that we use in a continuous fashion to shape ourselves accordingly. There are many other memories that we could use that would contradict our story, or tell a different type of story altogether, but we choose to ignore and exclude those, and often, over time, forget them completely. This natural ability to select the memories that we use to build our life story out of is a demonstration of our soul’s true ability to create itself, but of course we usually fail completely to realize “how” our mind is operating to “create”, and focus instead on the conditioned content as what we’ve been taught to think and feel. We don’t know how to recognize the laws by which our mind works to create an image of ourselves “as” a certain type of person, and believe instead in the illusion of our own making.

My own experience of this as a realization came from a basic form of inner guidance that called me on my own story about things. One of the feelings I always had as a kid was that nobody knew me as I really am, and judged me instead to be the same as my family, which I was nothing like in the most basic sense. As a young adult I moved to a town where nobody knew me or my family, and as I was getting ready to walk through the doors of a restaurant I was working at, it seemed like a kind of metaphor for walking into a new reality, and a voice inside said . . . okay Linda, you’re always saying that people don’t know you for who you really are, so who are you? The only thing that people are going to know about you here is what you choose to tell them. No one knows anything about your past or what you’ve been through. And I decided at that point that I wasn’t going to talk about my past or my family.

What I immediately noticed is how people looked at me and how they treated me based on being myself. I felt a kind of heaviness had been lifted from me, and a strange, newfound freedom. Like I was standing in front of a blank canvas and deciding what I was going to create. I had a blank piece of paper where I could write whatever story I wanted to. As a result of never talking about my past and deciding I was going to create myself in a conscious manner, I began forgetting about the past and over time thought about it less and less. As I no longer chose to dwell in memories of the past, I began feeling different about myself and my life. My personal growth during this time was phenomenal and I slowly began transforming myself into a completely new type of person. The person I consciously decided to be.

Many years later, when I finally opened up and talked briefly about my childhood and what I went through growing up, people that knew me were shocked. They had no idea and thought I had come from a well-to-do family, had an extensive education, and was nurtured as a child by loving parents. As time went on, many years later, when I would talk about the crazy stuff we did as kids (I had 3 older brothers), instead of talking about it as abuse and tragedy, I decided I was going to embody the outlook and attitude of two of my favorite fictional characters, Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn, and I re-told the stories of my past in a humorous and adventurous way. All of my stories about running away, hoping trains to who knows where, and living in forts on the streets became exciting adventures of exploration and freedom. I retold the exact same experiences from and entirely different perspective, and as a result changed the memories themselves in terms of how I “experienced” them and how I felt about myself as a result. I literally recreated myself using the same memories as life events while experiencing them in a whole new way. This was my first lesson in the art of self-transformation.

Now, as a fully mature person who has lived many lives in the course of this life and personality, I hardly ever talk about my past or myself in the general sense, and instead practice being present, talk about ideas and what my life is about currently. I’ve grown so much in terms of my ability to create myself intentionally that I don’t even relate to the little girl in my memories anymore. Many people see me as mysterious and a bit hard to get to know, without realizing that it’s because I no longer choose to live from my unconscious conditioning of the past, and instead identify with my true self as a universal being that’s the “storyteller” and the one creating the reality rather than the hypnotized personality still living out of the past and how I was shaped by others.

To wake-up in life isn’t to “heal from the past” by going through years of therapy where you “work through the issues of your past”, which usually only causes you to become even more identified with your past and the need to tell about “what happened to you” as a means of explaining why you’re the way you are. It comes instead through realizing who you really are as a soul and identifying instead with being the one who’s doing the creating by way of the story you keep telling yourself and others, often referred to as “your truth”. It’s detaching from your own past memories formed as a child when you had no real self-awareness and assuming the position of being the one who’s creating an image of yourself and producing the reality of your life “as” that story. You decide that you no longer need to keep telling that story as an expression of who you are, and you let go of it as a result. You no longer present yourself through the stories of your past and realize instead that you can create in the present whatever experience of yourself you want to by simply choosing to operate your own mind and imagination in an intentional manner.

What we think of as our “self” is formed out of memories. Our memories only remain alive if we continue to give them life in the present by constantly reliving them in our imagination. To change the self, you have to change the memories that serve to form it. All memories are actually something we create by how we interpret the events of our life out of whatever emotional state we were in at the time. By constantly reliving the memories over and over keeps us locked into the same emotional states. Whatever memory we play out and the emotion it keeps us infused with forms all of our natural perceptions, behaviors, and activities. You don’t change a memory by reinterpreting it to give it new meaning, but by “experiencing” the same event from a different perspective and attitude that causes you to “feel different” and elicits a different emotion in response to it. We evolve and transform ourselves by re-imagining our life experiences. All will to create lies in masterful use of your own imagination.

Dr. Linda Gadbois  

How we Progress as a Soul through Employing Higher Knowledge

Our true spiritual development can seem a bit elusive because we’re often not clear on the difference between acquiring knowledge in its theoretical form and bringing it into practice as a means of “creating ourselves” by way of it. Many people can discuss what we can think of as “spiritual ideas” in a fairly intelligent way based on what they’ve learned through studying other people’s ideas, yet have no idea how to “apply it” in terms of “becoming it” as a practice and developing themselves through the experience it brings. We only truly learn (live and earn) through experience, and we only truly know what we actively demonstrate.

In an attempt to understand what we deem higher knowledge, we can then haphazardly take the approach of denying or excluding some aspects of our self that we deem to be of our lower nature, while trying to more fully utilize what we consider to be of our “higher nature”. We take the “divide and conquer” approach, instead of the “unite and empower” approach to our own well-being. Some deny and shun their physical existence in favor of some form of idea they consider higher or superior in some way. Some believe all they have to do is be able to recite ideas as theory without ever having to actually employ them in the practical sense as a means of producing whatever it is it claims to produce. These various approaches result from a basic confusion as to the actual purpose of life and the creative power of the soul to create not only itself, but also its perception and experience of reality.

The soul is equivalent to the Self and utilizes a physical manifestation as the means of growing and transforming itself to different states and ways of being. The “self” is not developed in the most basic sense (energetic) by material possessions and status, but through the qualities we embody and become that forms our character as a way of being in the world. It’s only the qualities and ideas we embody and develop into a habit through consistent practice that becomes a natural part of us. By repeating a process or attitude enough times, we “build it into our muscle” (subconscious), so to speak, where it becomes intuitive. With enough daily practice it becomes a natural part of our awareness and being as an unconscious and automatic perception and behavior. We acquire it as a form of skill and instinct where we do it naturally without having to think about it.

Our soul isn’t formed out of intellectual concepts that we preach and profess but never actually bring into practice. It’s only what we embody and “become one with” as a channel of expression that we become like in essence. It becomes a natural part of us and we perceive it in everything around us while doing it as a natural part of our personality. This is expressed through the axiom “you know them by their deeds”. It’s not what we say that reveals who we are, but what we do. Being and doing are extensions of the same thing. Our actions reveal our consciousness as a coherent state of being.

When the soul leaves or discards the body, it absorbs all the experiences it produced and acquired through the body, and they’re integrated into the mental paradigm of the soul as qualities that form our disposition, temperament, moral character, and natural tendencies. Some believe that all you have to do is imagine ideas, going on the fact that the subconscious doesn’t know the difference between an actual event and an imagined one, while failing to realize that the imagination is the means through which we program the subconscious with ideas that we want it to produce as part of our perception and form natural behaviors out of.

Most imaginary scenarios aren’t effective because most don’t know how to actually imagine something as a full sensory experience that elicits a desirable emotional response. Some repeat affirmations as a verbal script or saying that they think is the means for programming their subconscious, yet the subconscious is “experiential” in nature and is only “programmed” by an idea that’s turned into a full sensory reality as a direct experience in the imagination. The subconscious is also “emotionally driven”, which means that it moves towards pleasure and away from pain. As we form the desired reality in our mind as a representation, we have to present it in a way that naturally invokes a very positive and compelling emotion. If we portray it with any form of stress, fear, or anxiety associated to it, our subconscious will receive it as an idea to avoid, prevent, or move away from.

The Soul and the Faculty of the Mind

The soul can be thought of as the “mind” which is structured as a paradigm or coherent model out of accumulated memory that’s been integrated through experience. As we experience something we form all kinds of realizations around it that we didn’t know when contemplating it theoretically, and the experience itself is what “integrates” it into our paradigm through a process of adaptation. Once the idea becomes an actual memory as part of our paradigm it becomes an inherent part of our reality. We can only conceive of what we know from direct experience. The only thing we’re capable of perceiving outside of us is what can be formed, explained, described, and validated through our mental paradigm. Until we have an actual experience of something, we can’t truly know it. To have true knowledge of something is to be intimate with it by “becoming one with it” in spirit, mind, and body, as the expression of it.

The true means the soul has for developing itself in an intentional manner is by “drawing down” and acting to absorb the archetypal ideals and qualities of the higher, spiritual plane. We do this either consciously through active choice as to whom we want to become, or unconsciously through reactive behavior born out of our formative conditioning. The process of personal transformation as a conscious act of self-creation comes by recognizing the qualities in you that you’ve developed as strengths that are of what you decide to be an undesirable nature, often called weaknesses and vices, and choosing to replace them instead with more positive qualities, referred to as virtues. Vices and virtues are the negative and positive aspect of any idea that serves to contrast each other as a means of comparing, defining, and stimulating each other into existence. We can only know “hot” by how it exists in relationship it to what we consider “cold”, both of which are “temperatures” of the same thing separated only by degrees that move along a sliding scale from one extreme to another. 

All qualities exist in a polar state as complementary opposites of the same idea. They exist as extremes of each other with a form of gradual movement along a scale that moves from one extreme to another. Fear and courage are qualities that oppose yet complement each other. When we’re experiencing fear of some kind, we have a choice to either respond with courage or cowardice. We can transform fear by choosing to embody courage in relation with it. When we’re scared and feel afraid, we polarize ourselves to the energetic state of fear and act naturally to attract and encounter situations that elicit more fear. Whatever “state” (mental and emotional) we exist in we act to multiply it through an accumulative process.

Fear causes us to stop, shut down and avoid what’s causing it, usually not taking any constructive action while being mentally controlled by the fear. This provides us with the ideal situation to “choose” to be either courageous or a coward. As we step into the fear with a sense of brave sense of conscious awareness, the fear begins steadily subsiding until it dissolves, and is replaced by a feeling of empowerment. The more we do this, the more courageous and confident we become and the less afraid and insecure. It’s not what happens to us in life that serves to shape us, but how we choose to respond to what happens through the relationship we form with it.

Our spiritual development comes by way of our soul’s recognition that it has the ability to self-create by way of acting on itself to transform vices as weaknesses into virtues as strengths. It comes through how we develop our character through our ability to actively choose what qualities as a state of consciousness we’re going to become and use as the means of experiencing ourselves. The soul creates itself through how it creates its own experiences of life. We are always the one creating our experiences, and naturally form them out of our perceptions. All intentional creation comes through our ability to become self-aware and form realizations around our true nature that provides us with the basis for making new decisions as to how we’re going to enter into relationship with life. As we make new decisions and begin willfully acting them out, we set a new pattern into motion that acts to transform an existing pattern as unconscious tendencies.

Conscious creation comes by developing our self through universal archetypes as qualities and ways of being that shape us to be a certain type of person who naturally lives a certain type of life as our “story”. Mythology of the gods is what provides us with the psychological tools necessary to be able to tell whatever type of story we have an inclination towards and true desire to tell. Once we realize how we want to be, we can recognize all the tendencies we have that are preventing or counteracting it, and can act on ourselves in a deliberate manner to transform them.

Only what becomes habit as a natural way of being is carried forward after the death of the body. Our material status and worldly success is meaningless outside of how we developed our character by way of them. In this way, having an easy life with no serious challenges can be a detriment to our spiritual growth and cause complacency. It’s not the circumstances of our life that matters, but only who we choose to become in relationship with and by way of them.

Dr. Linda Gadbois

Exercising the Power of Choice to Create your Life

The most fundamental way we direct the events of our life and create our own experiences is through the decisions we make that we then use our will in fulfilling by taking action on them. Many think that the power of choice only matters in the big decisions we make regarding what seems like the important issues we’re faced with, yet the fact is we’re always making decisions in every moment, both unconsciously and consciously, as to who we’re going to be. The future is created in the present. The past no longer exists unless it’s kept alive by continuing to think about it. Major decisions come as a natural progression of many smaller decisions we make along the way. All decisions come as an expression of our character and as the basic means through which we create ourselves through the type of experiences they produce that we play a part in initiating and cooperatively participating in.

When we practice the art of staying present in our life, and keep our attention on what’s actually happening as a direct experience, we can realize that the only “real time” is the present moment and that all future events come as the result of the decisions we’re making as to who we’re going to be, what we’re going to do, and what type of things we’re going to participate in co-creating in the moment. No one is ever really making our decisions for us, but simply act to influence us by getting us to agree and cooperate with them, or causing us to doubt ourselves and what we know to be true in favor of their ideas about things instead.

Three Basic Types of Choices

There are three primary forms of decisions: conscious ones that we make with awareness and in an intentional manner; unconscious ones that we do without thinking or that are emotionally based; and natural selection, or ones that come as a form of perceptual default based on our mental paradigm. One of the most basic types of decisions that we make all the time without realizing it is in terms of what we focus on, give our attention to, and think about consistently. Whatever we think about in a repetitive manner, we literally program ourselves with as a reality, and ultimately become through the activity we generate out of it. We can use the self- aware aspect of our mind to decide what we focus on and think about. We can learn how to keep our attention focused in the present and only think about what actually matters.

We’re making an unconscious decisions anytime we focus on the past and continue running the stories of our conditioning through our mind over and over. As we continue to tell stories about what happened to us in the past, and what it means about us as a result, we simply repeat the past in the present and create ourselves out of an unconscious state. When we allow our mind to wander in a random and habitual manner our thoughts tend to control us instead of us controlling them. Unconscious decisions are often made purely out of emotional states as reactions. As we go through our day, current events form a chain of association to similar events of the past, and we constantly go off into whole thought processes as memories that we consistently replay and tell stories about in a redundant manner. When we allow our mind to operate on auto-pilot without being self-aware and directing it in an intentional manner, we continue to live out of a primarily unconscious state.

Birthing New Realities

Choice and will are intimately connected because we always use our will as the means of producing the reality of our choices. Likewise, self-realization is what forms our awareness around our ability to make moment by moment decisions and then realize the outcomes we produce through willful action. We apply realization through our ability to recognize several options available to us in any moment, then imagining the reality our decisions will produce as an experience. Choice and will work “as” the Law of Cause and Effect. All action causes an equal or greater reaction of the same nature. As we make a decision, then take action on it, we act to birth a whole new reality. As we create the reality of our decision, we form new realizations about our self and life and begin living in a much more intentional manner.

We’re always acting to consciously and unconsciously produce our own reality while simultaneously experiencing ourselves “within” that reality as a certain “kind and type” of person. Choices, like all things, stem from our mental paradigm formed out of our conditioning as our fundamental means of perceiving things. Most of our decisions come as a form of perceptual habit that’s applied consistently while in an unconscious state where we lack awareness of what we’re actually doing in the direct sense. While many believe that choice is a conscious act, the fact is most of our decisions come unconsciously as what we choose to focus on, think about, and play out in our mind as imaginary scenarios and the mood that results from it. 

 Realization is important as the means for being able to make intelligent decisions by playing out possible choices to see what type of consequences they’ll possibly render. By playing out a choice as the reality it’ll produce, we can learn how to make good decisions that will bring the best possible outcomes. We can’t ever blame our own decisions and creations on other people who we imagine made our decisions for us by giving us no choice, or that put us in a bind, or that we imagine led us astray somehow, because intuitively we’re always “sensing things” as our feelings about it, and know right away the character and intentions of the person and what type of drama as a relationship and way of interacting that will result from it. Emotions that are intense can act to override and take control of our intellect. When we begin making emotional decisions we use our will to engage in co-creating the illusion inherent in the emotion.

 In our modern society we entertain ideas like it’s “alright” to say no, as if you’re doing something wrong or that you’ll “make someone feel bad” by being true to yourself. We’re often taught to ignore red-flags that come as intuitive awareness in favor of the emotional illusion being unconsciously played out by others instead. Many stay in bad relationships for years because they feel they’re wrong somehow in making the decision to leave, and then become resentful, bitter, and depressed while imagining it’s the other person’s fault.

The Power of Intuition

Within the animal kingdom of instinct, there’s no such thing as illusions that replace objective reality. There’s no lying to yourself and others by presenting them with an illusion in place of truth, and there’s no manipulative and covert agendas being played out as a means of gaining control over others. As humans, we also possess an animal body and experience instinct as intuition and body consciousness. When we listen to our body (how we feel) and intuition (the awareness that comes from it) we always know the truth in any situation, and if we allow an idea to spontaneously arise out of our intuition as a mental impression, we can know the reality that will result from it.

Intuition as feelings is based on the energies at play that systematically produce patterns as the reality inherent in it. As we steadily move into a situation we’re constantly being stimulated energetically forming an intimate awareness around it that’s always connecting us to the truth about it. When we form an intuitive awareness around something, but then either feel bad or doubt our awareness in favor of a story we begin telling ourselves that either explains it away or justifies it somehow, and we keep moving into it instead of away from it, we make a fundamental error in judgment, and act to co-create an illusion in place of the truth. Naturally, at some point along the way what we knew from the beginning starts becoming evident, then we feel “disillusioned”, lied to, let down, and somehow betrayed by the other person, when in fact it was us who lied to and betrayed ourselves because we didn’t listen to what we knew to be true right from the start.

The power to self-create in an aware fashion comes by realizing that we’re always making the decisions as to what direction our life takes, what relationships we maintain, what environments we place and keep ourselves in, and who we are in terms of our character and morality. As we make decisions in a moment by moment fashion as to who we’re going to be and what type of qualities we employ as the means of creating our experiences, we are simultaneously creating our “self” in relation to everything else. We can begin realizing that we always have a direct connection inwardly to the truth that exists outwardly. All we have to do is realize it and trust it as the means of making good decisions. Once we realize that all of our mental and emotional pain and suffering is caused by our own hand through the choices we make and the actions we take based on our decisions, and how we use our mind to experience the reality of our choices, we gain access to a very fundamental power as the true nature and creative ability of our higher soul.

Our Higher Self isn’t separate or different from our lower soul that’s confined to our personality and our unconscious conditioning, but is what acts to produce the entire material reality of our lower soul “through” how it operates as the consciousness of the body. When we “choose” to embody and utilize our higher consciousness as the means of creating, we learn how to tune into and skillfully use our intuition as the means of always knowing the truth in any situation and begin creating our life in a self-aware and intelligent manner. When we ignore and subdue our higher, subtle awareness as our intuition in favor of surface appearances, we use the power of our will to form illusions in place of truth. As unconscious beings that lack true awareness, we’re always deceiving ourselves. In the ultimate sense all deception is self-deception. We’re only deceived when we first disconnect from our self in favor of someone else’s truth, and act on ourselves to cooperate in creating an illusion in place of what we know deep down to be true.

All betrayal comes initially from betraying ourselves by choosing to ignore what we know to be true and therefore real, in favor of a lie. We can only be lied to by another when we first lie to ourselves by going against our inner feelings. When we lose touch with our true self, which is only known intimately as our feelings and the awareness that arises from them, we become an inherent part of a grand illusion created by surface appearances and facades designed to mask the truth and engage in a primary form of self-delusion.

Whenever we allow someone to persuade or convince us to go against what we feel to be right, we make an unconscious agreement to participate in a very basic form of self-deception where we deny our self in favor of another that we believe knows better than we do. The “truth” is never something we have to be persuaded to believe, it’s something that comes from within as a basic form of “self-awareness” as to how we feel in relationship with the outer forces we’re interacting with. We’re always choosing both unconsciously and consciously in any given moment to either make decisions based on what we know internally or what we’re being influenced by externally. We’re always either allowing our Higher Self to show us the way and create through us, or allowing others to make our decisions for us where we lend our will to creating our life according to the illusions they produce. Either way, the choice is always ours.

Dr. Linda Gadbois   

Meditation, Self-Realization, and Transcending the Illusion of Reality

While many people approach the idea of meditation as a method of some kind that’s designed to produce a predictable effect, and believe there are only certain ways to “truly meditate”, the fact may be that it’s a process through which we train our mind to step outside of our lower, conditioned nature and connect intimately with our higher Self. In our Western society, which has a tendency to focus almost exclusively on our physical nature, meditation is often seen as a means of calming the mind and inducing deepened states of relaxation, which is the beginning stage of most meditative processes.

Some people even go so far as to argue about what’s meditation and what’s not, indicating that there’s a right way of doing it and a wrong way. Yet meditation, like any spiritual practice, which means it involves how you use your own mind to achieve altered states of consciousness, is something that’s done in a unique way by everyone doing it. There are no rules of right and wrong ways, simply guidelines that provide us with a starting point as a means of producing the foundation out of which a natural process arises and becomes active beyond our ability or desire to control it. If you’re held to the idea of a right and wrong way, and go about it by obeying rules laid down for you by others, then it simply becomes a relaxation technique or produces whatever the structured process is designed to produce.

Meditation as a Spiritual Practice

Meditation as a spiritual practice provides us with a means of calming and subduing our habitual thoughts and impulses, while forming a place of inner peace and silence that ultimately connects us with our Higher Self. It also provides us with a process for being able to step outside of and detach from the conditioned “content” of our mind and view it instead from an objective and unemotional perspective. As we detach from our own thoughts and story about things and view them instead from a perspective of “witnessing” them, we begin realizing the “process” involved that acts to give rise to our thoughts. We can watch the impulses as they rise up, form into a whole synchronized series of interrelated thoughts that peak and express momentarily, then subside, die down, and fade away, while another impulse rises in its place.

By quieting the mind of outer awareness and habitual thoughts, we become present with our inner awareness. Our focal point becomes our own feelings and allowing our thoughts to freely flow by without grabbing onto them or penetrating them and going into a detailed story or narrative of some kind. As we simply sit on the shore and content ourselves with watching our thoughts flow by we can begin realizing that it’s merely the “content” of our mind produced by our conditioning, and we become aware instead of the process involved in “producing our thoughts” as our perception of reality, which is a form of delusion that we’ve mistaken for being “who we are”. By observing the content of our mind we can begin realizing that we’re not the story itself, but rather the mind that’s producing and acting to give rise to the story “about” our self. We’re the author and storyteller, and not the story itself. Our soul is our mind as the medium through which the story plays out as a reality.

Once we gain realization around how it is that we’re acting to “create our self” through the reality we create through the perspective of our conditioning and personality, we can begin questioning our own motives, and gaining even deeper realizations about the nature of our unconscious mind and how it acts to produce our perception of reality. As we move into the emotions that drive our thoughts and actions, while maintaining an awareness that’s detached from the need to somehow justify and validate our reality as being true, the illusion of it becomes more and more apparent, and our identification with our body and personality begins slowly fading away. We can gain an awareness of our “self” as the medium through which our thoughts take place, rather than being the thoughts themselves.

As we continue to become aware of the process our mind undergoes as a means of creating our perception of reality, we begin stepping into our true identity as the mind and soul that’s creating it as a mental projection. This awareness as a new and higher form of self-realization liberates us from the delusion of our conditioning and we no longer have a need to continue creating it. As our conditioned mind begins dissolving and fading away, we begin sensing our “self” and reality as it really is, apart from our story. We see with great clarity that we were creating our self out of a false identity through an unconscious state where we didn’t realize in the direct sense who we really are, what we were doing, and how it is that we were doing it.

As we gain a deeper awareness of our self as our higher consciousness, we shed the identity of our conditioning, neutralizing and purifying our body, and it becomes the temple as a vehicle for our higher self to create from a fully conscious state of “actual” self-awareness. We come fully into the realization that the material reality is not who we are, but something we create by formulating it inwardly as imagined thoughts that are then projected outwardly. All needs and desires for material possessions and status that used to provide us with the means for defining ourselves and feeling secure in our false identity begins to disappear. As we realize that we’re not “of this world” or dimension, and begin consciously residing in a higher awareness, we assume a natural position of serving others. Our karma that was incurred through unconscious conditioning resolves and we no longer continue to live and create out of it. Liberation comes as a “mental state of being”, not a physical one. The mental is what lays the foundation for the physical to naturally emerge out of.

Seeded Meditation

Another method of meditation comes by entering into an altered state of passivity, while setting an intention to acquire information about something as an answer to a question or problem. By fully relaxing our mind and body, calming all habitual thoughts while relinquishing the need to try and control or come up with the answer from our conditioned mind of personal memory, and impressing the question on the empty space within and around us, then letting go and residing patiently in silence, we connect with higher consciousness and act as a passive “receiver” for information that provides us with the answer to our inquiry. Questions and answers, like higher and lower planes of the same reality, exist in polarity to each other. They’re complementary aspects of the same idea as a holographic pattern.

By focusing our attention in a single minded fashion on the question, free from distractions, we tune ourselves energetically (spiritually) to the answer, and serve as a passive receiver for the answer to come “through us”. As long as we’re actively trying to “figure out the answers”, we exist in an active state and can’t receive an answer that’s not a part of the previous experiences of our conditioning. The “active aspect” (masculine) of the mind can’t communicate (seed) with another active aspect, it has to have a passive mind (feminine) that can “conceive it” and where it can “rise up” within the imagination of the passive mind (unconscious) and reveal itself (begin unfolding) as a thought-form.

The subconscious is the receptive aspect of the lower material mind and serves to “draw in” and gives life to the active aspect of either the higher mind, or lower self-conscious mind of outer awareness on the same lower plane of the subconscious. By silencing the active material mind of conditioned thought, we render ourselves passive and receptive, and become a fluent receiver for higher consciousness to “seed and impregnate us” with an idea that will serve as an answer to our question or solve a problem. If we begin to use our conditioned mind to evaluate and alter the answer through our beliefs and emotional filters, then we stay stuck in the reality of the problem. This is what Einstein was referring to when he said “a problem can’t be solved with the same mind that created it”, and why all great thinkers and inventors get their ideas as a form of “vision” that comes to them out of the blue bringing new awareness and realizations.

Goal of Meditation

While many “use” meditation to achieve certain states or as a means of relaxing, once you get into a regular practice and begin connecting with your higher consciousness within the silence of your material mind, it produces a feeling of euphoria and you begin “falling in love” with your higher self. You form a deep desire for the connection and begin identifying with it as a normal way of being. Once the illusion of our conditioned state begins falling away along with the identity we formed through it, and we begin “looking through the eyes of higher consciousness”, we begin training ourselves to maintain a passive mind as a normal way of being in order to stay connected with our higher awareness. We become fully “present” in our everyday life while maintaining a sense of inner peace. Meditation becomes our normal way of being and we train our body to be the vehicle and instrument for higher consciousness to inhabit, be, and express through.

When this happens you give up the need to be right, you no longer argue to prove your point, all pain and suffering born out of the illusion and lack of forgiveness fade, you lose your desire for material gratification and status, and you begin seeking solace in the silence and natural beauty of things. You begin tuning into the miraculous nature of life, and feel compassion for all other living beings. Every act becomes an expression of kindness because you’re no longer invested in the illusion and need to judge others who are still consumed with the illusion of their own making. Once we no longer get our identity from our conditioning, we liberate ourselves from our own story and tendency to delude ourselves. We realize with extreme clarity that we are “in this world, but not of it”, and that “of ourselves we’re nothing”. All true power comes from our higher self. We’re not the product of our own story; we’re the creator of it. Our story of reality takes place both “within us” and “outside of us” through the medium of our mind as a projection through the time-space continuum.

Dr. Linda Gadbois

Becoming Self-Aware and Learning how to resolve your own Issues

One of the most primary ways we have of becoming aware of our own unconscious tendencies formed through our formative conditioning is by realizing that the outer world (and other people) exist in polarity with us and are always acting to show us parts of our self that can be difficult for us to see normally. The outer world is always acting to stimulate us internally and make certain parts of us active and expressive. As we’re stimulated by things, it provides us with a kind of mirror into the hidden aspects of our own psyche. Whatever we exist in polarity with as “shared aspects”, causes a natural reaction in us in response to them. As we react, we take on the same nature as whatever it is we’re reacting to. We take on the same qualities, emotions, and behaviors. As these qualities and ways of being are activated and brought out in us, it provides us with the opportunity to see what they are.

 The primary decision and attitude necessary to begin cultivating deeper forms of self-awareness, is the honest decision to do so, while simultaneously cultivating the ability to step outside of your own reactions and look at them from an objective and detached perspective. Once a reaction is triggered in us, we can remove our attention from what’s causing it and turn it inward instead. As we turn inward and begin observing the nature of our own reaction, we can clearly see “who we become” in relation with it. We can see what our own internal dialogue is and what type of script begins playing out in our mind. If we remain detached from it while simply observing it, we can see what lives inside of us that we’re often not fully aware of. We can see what it is we typically repress and deny about ourselves, while also recognizing that we become the “same as” as whatever it is we’re reacting to, and act to participate in playing out a certain type of dynamic. We become the same type of person and take on the same type of behaviors.

One of the fundamental principles of the universe is “cause and effect”. All cause as an action, stimulates and produces an equal or greater reaction of the same nature and kind. Like always serves to beget more of what’s like it. This idea can also be understood as the Law of Vibration, which basically demonstrates that whatever frequency something vibrates at, which transmits a form of signal, moves through and into physical forms and vibrates that same frequency in them. As it awakens and makes the same quality active by resonating with it, the two frequencies of a similar nature begin vibrating in harmony, ultimately forming coherence as an energetic unification. Once unified energetically, a coherent pattern is formed as an interactive dynamic that expresses to form a joint reality comprised of the qualities they share in common.

All of the unconscious content that exists in us without our direct awareness of it is simultaneously being projected onto the environment, allowing us to witness it with our conscious mind. But because we’ve repressed it and lost memory of it, we don’t realize it’s showing us unknown aspects of ourselves. The outer is always a projection as a mirror image of the inner that’s acting to produce it as our perception. A mirror image is an opposite reflection of an image. All of reality is composed of complementary opposites as masculine (outer) and feminine (inner) aspects of the same thing that act to stimulate each other. The inner acts to receive the stimulus of the outer, calling forth the same quality as a state of consciousness, and together produce an offspring as a reality. While we tend to think that “reality” is something that exists around and outside of us, it’s actually formed as a “field of information” that’s constantly being reformed into variations by the mind perceiving it. The inner and outer are extensions of each other as a polar and complementary relationship.

If you allow yourself to notice, you’ll realize that only certain people, attitudes, and behaviors cause a distinct reaction in you. Other people and activities are going on around you all the time that you don’t particularly even notice, let alone react to. When you do notice them for some reason, you view them in a neutral and detached manner that’s a kind of objective evaluation where you remain calm inside the whole time, and basically unaffected. This is because the attitude and traits they’re displaying are a part of our own awareness and not something that you’ve denied and repressed in yourself. They’re not a part of your conditioned and unresolved issues, so to speak. By realizing this, we’re provided with a powerful tool for self-healing and personal growth.

 The Practice of Self-Awareness

Begin by making the decision to unearth your own unconscious content, and set the intention to begin developing the means necessary to become self-aware. Anytime you get an emotional charge from someone or something, and you go into an instant reaction, realize what’s happening while refraining from reacting. As you refrain from reacting, remove your attention from whatever is causing the reaction, and turn it inward instead. Simply become aware of what’s happening inside of you. Notice what the reactive thoughts are, and what emotion is associated with it. Notice the dialogue that begins passionately playing out in your mind automatically. What story, script, or narrative starts running in relation to it. What behaviors are you prompted to go into seemingly without the ability to control them outright?

As you allow the unconscious content to surface and begin actively expressing, resist the tendency to justify your “right” to feel and act that way. Don’t fool yourself with the idea that you’re simply “giving them back their own medicine”, or “giving them what they deserve”. If you’re feeling hurt, just allow yourself to notice the urge to hurt them back in the same way, while continuing to allow the feelings to fully surface and play out in your mind while you “watch them”. Then allow yourself to notice who you become because of the story playing out in your mind. What memory as an imagined reality rises up within you that becomes the means for interpreting the current reality to mean the same thing as the past. What role do you take on in your own story about things?

If you have trouble doing this and keep going back to focusing on the other person, just catch yourself and return your attention inward. Focus exclusively on the internal processes the external stimulus set into motion within you. Don’t judge yourself in any way, or make yourself wrong, and remain as detached from it as possible. Remove yourself from “within the experience”, and reside in awareness outside where you’re watching it like a movie, where you’re not the main star, but simply one of the characters playing a role in a larger dynamic. Don’t try to control what’s happening within or change it somehow, just observe it as another person would.

Allow yourself to notice that anytime you’re reacting, you become like the person you’re reacting to. You take on the same emotions, attitude, and behaviors, and you begin cooperatively participating in creating the same type of reality as a joint experience. As you begin awakening to how it is that you’re always being shaped and determined by other people through the activation of your own unconscious content, and that every reaction is providing you with a mirror that’s reflecting back to you aspects of yourself that you’re unaware of, you can begin gaining awareness around the true nature of things.

Through the realization that’s obtained through the practice of observing your own mind and thoughts, you bring what’s operating to unconsciously in your life life into conscious awareness, where it’s resolved through the awareness itself and no longer acts to control you. The more and more you do this, the less reactive you become, and other people and events no longer act “on you” in an unconscious manner to control and determine you. As we become aware of what’s serving to create us through an unconscious state, we begin healing ourselves and cultivating a state of inner peace where we begin making conscious decisions in a calm and calculated manner as to “who we’re going to be” in any situation. As we let go of our tendency to create while in an unconscious state, we can choose what qualities we employ instead and begin creating our self and our life in an intentional and beneficial manner.

Dr. Linda Gadbois

Learning to Discipline Your Emotions and Consciously Create your Experiences

       One of the most prevalent ways we’re controlled by others and the events of our life are through our emotions. As we’re triggered by the emotions being expressed by another, we take on those same emotions, and react in an automatic and unconscious manner. Anytime we’re reacting, we’re literally unconscious and operating on autopilot. Emotions are the natural force of the lower material plane that acts as the prompting mechanism for instinct. Being of an animal body, we actively share this with the rest of the animal kingdom where we’re directed and influenced to perform certain behaviors through the reception and production of emotional charges. Emotions can have a very intense and pronounced stimulation, which can make them hard to resist, especially when we’re unaware of what’s actually happening at the energetic level.

       Emotions are a form of instinctual force meant to regulate the behavior of unconscious beings (those without the ability to regulate themselves), and aren’t designed to be brought into our thought processes where we form whole realities out of them. These realities formed out of emotions are what is commonly referred to spiritually as “illusions” that ultimately become a primary form of self-deception that’s delusional in nature. This means that the realities we create out of our emotions aren’t real in the most basic sense, and are something we makeup and use in place of neutral and more objective or unemotional reality as the means of creating how we experience things.

      What we refer to as the subconscious mind, which is the same aspect of the mind we share with animals, plants, and all of Nature as the instinctual mind, is emotionally driven and forms automatic behaviors out of various forms of memory that provides the basis for forming habits of various sorts. As humans born into an animal body, we start off life in a primarily unconscious state where our subconscious is active and dominant and our self-conscious, thinking and discriminating mind hasn’t developed yet. We’re literally in a natural hypnotic state where we absorb and process whatever we’re being taught and is being demonstrated by our parents and family, authority figures, and through our formative education.

       The subconscious doesn’t have the ability to reason and think for itself, and is passive in nature, which means it only acts as a “receiver” of ideas and not what acts to generate them. This means it doesn’t have the innate ability to evaluate and judge incoming ideas in order to decide whether they seem valid or not. Due to this inability to “choose” what ideas we take on and actively create a reality out of by imagining them, we readily take in whatever ideas we’re exposed to and actively playing a part in as an experience. Our experiences as children are created exclusively by the will of others through shared emotional states and the dynamics that ensue from them which are accumulated to form our memory base that’s then used in an automatic and repetitive fashion as a form of “reference system” for producing more realities of the same nature.

      As we grow older there’s a dynamic network designed and set into place as a kind of instant referencing system of emotion-memory-behavior, referred to as our formative conditioning. As we receive a strong emotion of some kind being projected at us by another, it enters our body as an electrical charge producing a strong stimulation that’s immediately (unconsciously) associated to a memory created from that same emotional state. We then use this memory as a form of thematic template for interpreting the present to mean the same thing as the past, and react by forming the same type of perception, attitude and behavior. We go into an automated process fueled by an illusion of our own making undertaken without any conscious awareness of what we’re doing and why. This “automated mode” which we act to “create out of” is set in motion through an emotional trigger that literally renders us unconscious and we shape the present to be the same as the past.

      One of the basic processes needed in order to work with emotions in a conscious manner is to gain a practical understanding of what’s really happening when we find ourselves triggered by them, because refraining from reacting by internalizing and repressing them doesn’t work, and only makes us prone to emotional outbursts in other areas that may be indirectly related and inappropriate or extreme for the situation they become expressed in. It’s only through realization of the true nature of emotions and how it is that we create our own experiences that we can act (choose) to dissolve the charge before it’s allowed to enter us and take hold. Once we become aware of what’s happening we can work with emotions as natural forces that we deflect altogether by not allowing them enter our mind-energy field, and instead act to mirror them back to the sender, neutralizing them as a result.

Two Ways we Experience Emotion

       Emotion is basically experienced and produced in two fundamental ways: we either act as a passive receptor for them from an external source; or we generate them internally in response to our own thinking and imagining. Emotion is freely transmitted through the atmosphere (astral plane) through a form of telepathy, where they’re received unconsciously (automatically) by anyone in near proximity of us. Because the subconscious is “ran” by emotions and produces illusions of reality out of them as our perceptions, anytime someone around us is expressing emotions outwardly, meaning they’re projecting them, when we’re unaware of our ability to direct and control them, we act to naturally absorb them without resistance. As we absorb them they activate and bring alive in us the same emotion, forming a shared state that we then act together to form a joint reality out of. As we cooperate in acting out the delusion inherent in the shared emotional state by becoming “like” them, we simultaneously create ourselves through the experience we create. When this happens, we truly become a product of our conditioning and create our life out of a constant form of reaction, both to others and to unknown parts of ourselves.

      When we generate emotions within, they come as a natural response to whatever we’re thinking about and playing out in our imagination. The more detailed the imagining the more intense the emotion invoked by it. Most of our thoughts run through our mind in a habitual and repetitive fashion based on memory of some kind, and act to keep us tuned to the same emotional states of our conditioning. Because of the natural relationship between thought and emotion, one always acts to determine the other. Our thoughts, what we focus on, and our perception as the interpretation of the activities and events of our life that form how we create our experiences are all “habits” that operate in a repetitive and automatic fashion.

The Relationship between Thought and Emotion

       The relationship between thought and emotion is self-evident through simple self-observation. These two are always married to each other and together form an equivalent perception of reality. The ability to produce false realities out of emotional thoughts is a capacity of the higher, human mind that sets us apart from the animal kingdom as our ability to willfully create. Unlike the animal kingdom, we have the ability to “create ourselves” through our ability to create our perceptions as our “experience of ourselves”. Whichever one of these initiates the process as a “cause”, produces the other one automatically as an equivalent “effect”. This is easy to recognize through simple forms of self-reflection.

       When we unconsciously absorb and take in emotions without resistance, and allow emotional charges to take hold “in us”, they act to instantly alter our state and determines what memory we associate it with that was of the same emotional state and nature. Once we reference and pull it up in our imagination, it forms our “perceptual lens” as a form of transparent, thematic template for using to interpret the current event to mean the same thing as the past event. Long after the emotional charge has subsided, it continues to influence our thoughts and what stories as scenarios we run through our mind over and over. When this happens we’re literally being controlled and therefore determined by whatever it is we’re reacting to. They literally continue to run our mind as imagined thoughts, which act as a form of mental program for our subconscious. As we program our own subconscious with imaginary thoughts, it acts to produce that same type of reality over and over as a kind of life theme.  

      In a likewise manner, whatever we think about in a deliberate and controlled (willful) manner, acts to produce our emotional state as complementary to our thoughts, and together set our vibration that tunes us to the reality of our thoughts. When we think about positive, inspiring, and uplifting ideas, we act to generate corresponding emotions. Thought shapes ideas into material forms in our mind, which act as a magnet (vessel) for equivalent emotions as the natural forces that blend with them through a form of holy matrimony, and together produce corresponding realities as their offspring. By intentionally directing our own thoughts we simultaneously produce our own emotional states and tune ourselves to the outer reality that provides us with the same type of experience.

How we Create our Experience

       Anytime we’re in a predominantly unconscious state, we create the perception that our experiences are somehow independent of us and “caused” by outside forces of some kind. We feel as if we have no actual control over how we experience something, because as children living out of our subconscious, our experiences came in what seemed like an automatic fashion based on what emotions we were experiencing and what behavior was being demonstrated around us that we were an active part of. As we got older and our self-conscious mind began developing (frontal cortex), we started telling ourselves a story about things as a way of trying to make sense of them, and these imaginary stories acted to program our subconscious with the reality of the story as a kind of metaphorical theme. We’re always in the process of telling ourselves a story about things as a means of interpreting events to give them meaning. Whatever we make something mean by the story we tell ourselves about it, simultaneously means the same thing about us.

       We don’t have a direct awareness of the fact that we’re actually the one creating our own experiences because it happens as a natural process produced by our unconscious mind. However, when we really stop to examine it, we can come to realize how we do it by how we think about things, which is necessary in order to begin working with it in a fully aware and intentional manner. The whole basis for any form of self-mastery is self-awareness and the realization attained by bringing what’s operating just below the level of awareness into the light, and as a result, becoming aware of the creative ability of our own mind.

      This awareness comes through self-examination of what is normally automated processes and starts by realizing that you are the only one actually using your mind to create your own experiences. No one is ever doing anything “to you” in terms of how you experience something, they’re simply stimulating you emotionally then giving you a suggestion that causes you to create an inner experience that’s correlated to the outer event. The inner and outer are always in an intimate relationship with each other where one “enters into” and acts to “propagate” the other, forming a joint reality. As long as we remain unaware of this process, we simply act as a passive receptor and allow ourselves to be impregnated with the will of others where we then act to systematically birth and give life to that same type of reality as our creation.

Self-Observation and Awareness

       In order to gain awareness and realization around your own internal processes, create a calm, empty mind that’s void of all attachments formed out of the need to somehow make others responsible for how you feel, or to justify your right to feel and act the way you do. Then recall a situation where you were triggered by someone else’s attitude and actions around or towards you that caused you to become upset, and create a slow-motion type of spaciousness that turns it into a step-by-step process. Allow yourself to notice that the only “cause” involved was in how they were stimulating you internally. As you are stimulated, notice how it instantly alters your state and how you immediately associate it to another experience of a similar nature. You then use this past experience as the means to form the same type of experience again. Then notice what it is you begin telling yourself about it as your thoughts. Notice what story it prompts. Allow yourself to notice that you let the stimulus enter you (your mind and body) and take hold without consciously evaluating or resisting it, and begin using your mind in an unconscious manner to create the experience of “being” upset. Notice that it was your own thoughts that produced the state of being upset. You allowed the outer stimulus to enter you, take hold, and produce your perception. You are in fact the one that’s creating your own experience of being upset by it. You could just as easily choose to let it go and not be upset.

       Now, in a similar fashion, imagine that same situation and activity, except this time imagine your mind as a protective bubble or impenetrable sphere of energy that surrounds and envelops you, where the emotional force being projected is stopped and is reflected instead on the surface of the transparent sphere, outside of your body, where you can “see” the nature of the emotional charge and the idea associated with it from a detached perspective. Where you can consciously decide whether or not you want to let it in and allow it to take hold and become expressed within you. Instead of unconsciously absorbing it, decide to reject it, and act instead to reflect it back while remaining unaffected by it. Allow yourself to realize that just the awareness itself creates the realization of a choice. When we wake-up from an unconscious state of automated processes we begin realizing that in every moment we’re actually making a decision as to what we let in and what we keep out of our own mental sphere. It’s only the emotional charge associated with it that makes this difficult to do. As we begin making conscious decisions as to what we allow to stimulate us, and therefore use as the means of creating our experiences, and what we act to neutralize instead, we begin realizing the true power we have in creating our own experiences.

      Whenever we absorb an emotional stimulus coupled with an idea that acts as a suggestion, and act on ourselves to create an internal experience out of it, we not only create a joint-reality as an experience with whatever is impregnating us, but we simultaneously create a “sense of ourselves” through and as the experience by how we associate and identify with it. As long as we remain unconscious of our ability to create our own experiences and create them based on how we’re being stimulated at any given moment, we create ourselves by the will of others as a product of the group mind. We allow others to tell us who we are, and give us our feelings and thoughts, and as a result, willfully shape us to be like them.

The Nature of Emotional Pain and Suffering

       As long as we remain in a primarily unconscious state, we form the illusion that others are causing our pain, and that we suffer due to our life conditions and circumstances. Yet all pain and suffering in the most basic sense is created by how we choose to experience things, not by the people and things themselves. No one “makes us” sad or unhappy, we’re the one that creates the experience of being sad or unhappy in relationship with everything else. No one hurts us emotionally; we act on ourselves to create the illusion of being hurt by what we tell ourselves about things that gives them meaning, causing us to feel hurt by them. We are in fact the ones acting on ourselves to inflict our own pain and suffering by how we use our own mind to create how we perceive and experience reality.

       The same situation, approached with a different attitude and belief system, will produce very different types of experience. What causes pain and suffering for one person will cause a feeling of detachment or contentment for another. A situation that’s upsetting for one goes completely unnoticed by another. Anytime we’re experiencing emotional pain that’s causing us to suffer in some way, it’s providing us with a mirror into our own unconscious mind and habitual tendencies, showing us how it is that we “structure our thoughts” in order to produce our experience of reality.

      The most basic problem we have in creating is that we form habitual ways of thinking and perceiving based on our conditioning. The story we’re always in the process of telling ourselves about things is formed out of our belief-system and values. As we create a reality around things, we sense ourselves by way of that reality and build our identity around it, coming to love and depend on it as a result. We become who we are by way of our own stories about things, and when challenged, will argue to defend them. In order to create new types of experiences we have to literally become a different type of person. If we give up our story as a way of thinking and structuring our experience, we don’t know who we are or how to be, which can cause a deep feeling of insecurity and fear of the unknown.

Embracing our Power and Intentionally Creating Ourselves

       Another process of emotional discipline and self-realization that we can employ is to refrain from any form of emotional reaction, while turning our attention inward instead and self-reflecting. Resisting the reaction, which can come instantly, is the hardest part, and looking inward to observe our own process requires the ability to direct your own attention while being totally honest with yourself. It requires you to let go of your attachment to your need to justify your “right” to react, and simply observe what happens inside of you as a means of recognizing what’s operating in you that you’re normally unaware of in the most basic sense.

       As you refrain from reacting and turn your attention inward, allow yourself to notice what comes up for you in association with the emotional trigger. What memory rises up and runs through your mind in association with it, and how do you feel because of that memory? What story as your thoughts begins running through your imagination as a replay of that memory?  Gain any form of self-awareness you can by reflecting solely on your own part in that memory instead of focusing on the other people or circumstances involved. Again refrain from any form of story that you start telling yourself as a means of justifying your right to feel that way. Simply observe it from a detached perspective as if you were another person watching it. This process will show you what your psychological wounds are that you’re not ordinarily aware of.  

       Because most of the experiences that made up our formative conditioning were produced through emotional states while we lacked the ability to reason and think about them rationally as a child, when we revisit them as an adult with a fully developed conscious mind, we can see them in a different light, which allows us to experience them differently. The beauty of mental and emotional healing is that it’s the realization and awareness alone that dissolves the complex, allowing us to transform how we experience the same event. The transformation takes place by simply shedding light on what was previously obscure and vague, produced mostly from an emotional reaction while in an unconscious state.

       Once we become aware of what we were previously unaware of, it no longer happens in an unconscious and automatic way, and we form a new awareness around it instead. Through awareness obtained while in a calm and detached state, we realize that we have a choice as to the meaning we give things and how we create our experience as a result. All conscious decisions are based on one primary question we’re always asking ourselves as the means of creating, and that is “who am I”? Who am I going to be right now in relationship with this person, situation, or event? How am I going to use this situation or event to create an experience that’s empowering? And from a calm and fully aware state, we make that decision and begin creating ourselves with full awareness of who we’re becoming.

Dr. Linda Gadbois

Practicing Spiritual Knowledge as a means of Creating

       There always seem to be a fundamental disconnect between attaining spiritual knowledge in theoretical form and actually knowing how to bring it into practice in your everyday life not only as the means of creating with it, but also as the means of actually “learning it” through experience. We only actually “know” what we can do. We have to actually “earn” knowledge by living it. We acquire it by entering into an intimate relationship where we “become one with it” in mind and action. We only really know if something is true or not by applying it and seeing what the results are. When we study something as a theory, formed at best by our ability to conceptualize it as an internal experience, we create it in the same way we learned it, by memorizing someone else’s account and using it in place of our own.

      All spiritual growth and development only comes by way of intuitively applying principles in order to “create” in a personal and individual manner. When we move into higher forms of consciousness everything becomes about moving out of the group mind mentality of accepting truth as something you were taught rather than from the direct experience of it that brings deep insights and realizations. All higher knowledge exists as laws and principles which are processes and operations that can be interpreted any number of ways and applied effectively to any type of situation or circumstances to create in a predictable manner. Laws are what allow us to connect with and perceive the true nature of things regardless of what their outer appearance looks like or the specific elements involved.

       This individuality of higher knowledge is self-evident in the fact that nearly all spiritual texts are written in metaphors, analogies, symbolic ideas, and allegories that require intuition in order to interpret as a means of understanding the principles involved. However we interpret a symbolic idea is based on how we adapt it to our current collection of similar ideas, our level of scientific and philosophical knowledge, our level of maturity and experience, what stage of life we’re in, our cultural conditioning, and so on, so that every person forms a perception as their own creation that serves their growth in an ideal way.

       There are an infinite number of ways to perceive the same idea because it’s eternal in nature and not based on material elements or a specific location within space and time. The same principle can be applied to any situation in order to create in a unique yet consistent manner each time. So there’s no such thing as someone else knowing what’s true and right for you. Only you know truth through your ability to conceive of it and bring it into expression through actions of some kind. All allegories are simply describing situations where universal principles are playing out and all people and elements of the story are archetypal and metaphorical in nature.

      All “qualities of consciousness” have “planes of knowledge” associated with them that we only have access to by embodying and “becoming” that quality. All knowledge of a higher, conscious nature than the material plane of unconsciousness requires us to step fully into our individual, altruistic, sovereign nature and completely trust in our ability to “know” what’s true and therefore right for us through our own soul’s volition. We have to believe in ourselves and our ability to know through reason and self-realization. All principles playing out on the grand scale of the cosmos are also playing out and being reflected within us. Our soul is the “medium” and a kind of bridge or link that connects us to our higher self and requires us to choose our own ability to know without being taught or instructed by another. Anytime we’re looking for answers outside of ourselves, or wanting to somehow be told and guided on what to think or do, we’re making a very fundamental error and are only capable of acting as a receptacle for man-made knowledge of the lower, group mind.

Action is Required in Order to Know

       Some believe that you can simply imagine ideas and it’ll act the same as actually doing them. Yet they fail to recognize the basic principle involved in this idea, which is that our imagination is simply the way we communicate an idea to our subconscious by providing the pattern as a kind of template for producing as an actual reality that allows us to experience it. The subconscious understands the language of symbols and metaphors and is psychologically stimulated by symbolic ideas that we often don’t even recognize. We can only do what we can first imagine ourselves doing. We actually act to program our own subconscious with ideas we want it to create by developing them in detail by thinking about them in a concentrated manner.

       All knowledge that’s attained through experience as practice of some kind becomes a natural part of our mental paradigm which is constructed out of memory. It’s the experience that serves to integrate it forming an actual memory of it. Anything practiced consistently until it becomes habit and natural part of our nature and perception, is permanently retained as our “soul’s essence”. It becomes a natural part of our normal way of being and acting and becomes eternal in nature as a result. Knowledge that’s integrated as direct experience becomes our soul’s essence which transcends our physical death and identification with our body, forming our predisposition, temperament, and natural tendencies in all proceeding incarnations, whatever they may be.

       Only what has been practiced faithfully and made habitual as our “natural way of being” remains a permanent part of us, and whatever we only hold as an idea or theory as a form of memorization of someone else’s interpretation, that’s never actually brought into practice of some kind, dies with our body. Whatever was formed in us as a part of the group mind is “of” this plane and doesn’t transcend it after death. Only what’s created by us through our ability to reason, think for ourselves, and embody qualities that we use to produce our actions, is of a higher, more intelligent and creative plane, and acts to transcend the lower plane altogether. We only retain what we use to create ourselves through the habits we form.

       All spiritual knowledge is only attained by becoming one with the qualities associated to that plane and by bringing fundamental universal laws into practice within your daily life as the means of forming your lifestyle. We only acquire knowledge by forming the appropriate state of mind that makes us a channel for their expression, providing us with the means of creating ourselves to be like them. Whatever experiences we create by how we use our mind, shapes our identity, and our identity is our “I AM” of self-awareness. Our actions both reveal and define us. It’s how we’re being and what we do that demonstrates who we are in the true sense, not what we talk about or try to use as the means of creating an image of ourselves as being spiritual and therefore knowledgeable.

       We originally merge into ideas with our mind by imagining them as a working concept or type of reality. All true knowledge exists as universal principles that can be applied to any situation or set of circumstances to create in a predictable manner. Principles are universal because they exist as metaphors that are thematic in nature. It’s not the situation or story being used that’s the knowledge, but rather the principles that are forming and animating it as a creative process. Once we’re able to intuitively grasp the principles involved or that are being described in any body of knowledge, we have the means for being able to apply those principles in our daily life in a number of ways and through different types of processes. Principles aren’t specific to material conditions but are what acts to organize and produce those conditions and circumstances. They consist of archetypal ideas that form patterns that are living metaphors as symbolic ideas that can be applied indefinitely to any number of situations to create in a deliberate and fully conscious way.      

Dr. Linda Gadbois