How to Not be Affected by Others – Learning How to See Things as They Really Are

Posted On February 20, 2017 / Written by Dr. Linda Gadbois

All Perception is Perceiving Ourselves on a Greater Level

One of the greatest powers we can learn in life is how to gain full control over ourselves and our perception of others. By becoming aware of how we form our perceptions of reality as a means of creating our experiences, we can simultaneously realize the true nature of other people’s perception of us. Through an awareness of how our mind works to shape our experience of reality and of others, we can become clear on the reality of other people’s perception of us. All perception is a product of the mind which shapes reality as a form of self-perception. We only see and experience in others and the material world around us what’s of the same nature (frequency) as we are. We’re only able to perceive in others the same qualities and characteristics that we ourselves possess. To perceive is to (re)create the outer world in our image while imbuing it with our likeness. Perception is an interpretation that reformulates basic qualities into a new pattern or idea, changing how it appears, creating our experience of it which is subjective in nature. All reality as we’re capable of knowing it is subjective in nature, which means we create it as a personal version out of our feelings and self-image, while also using it to create ourselves by how we experience ourselves through own creation. Every function of the mind is an act of self-expression and self-creation that lays the groundwork for self-realization.

All experience is formed through a relationship between our inner self and our outer world. Our inner self is our subconscious mind which is comprised of a dynamic network of values, beliefs, preferences, attitudes, fears, desires, emotional states, conditioned patterns, and memories that form our paradigm (mental model). Our paradigm acts as a dynamic filtering system and lens that we use as a means of shaping and interpreting the outer world to give it meaning. As we place our attention on something, we’re filtering the information received through our mental model, and we change how it appears to make it like us (of the same nature). We conform everything to be a reflection of ourselves. We shape the outer world to be what we believe it to be instead of seeing it as it actually is in the objective sense as being a part from us, and therefore different from us. We change how everything seems to match our feelings, beliefs, values, preferences and attitude about it.

Our mind as a vibratory energy field blends and merges into everything around us through resonance, and only sees what’s of the same frequency or nature as we are. Perception is a form of interpretation that uses our mental model as the basis for explaining, describing, and understanding things. What’s different from us, or outside of our range of vibration, we don’t notice, and literally can’t comprehend. Our energy as an electromagnetic energy field merges into theirs, activating and bringing out what’s of the same nature as qualities and characteristics, while causing other aspects to become inactive and recede, reshaping them to be of the same frequency and nature as we are. We remix everything by rearranging the attributes, qualities, and characteristics it outwardly displays. We energetically reformulate everything to be of the same vibratory pattern, nature, and behaviors as we are. We are all ingrained with certain dynamics as conditioned life themes that we use to interpret other people’s behaviors.

Attention is an active and antagonistic force that vibrates some aspects inherent in something but not others. This is self-evident by realizing that we’re always acting on others to bring out certain qualities in them as a way of being. Paying attention to them, or just being in near proximity of another persons energy field forms a subliminal interaction as a stimulus-response mechanism, where both mental fields merge into each other, altering the vibration of both through shared qualities which become amplified and accentuated, while ones they don’t share in common recede to the background and become temporarily dormant. Energy is always interacting subliminally in the same way an actual interaction works. We’re always stimulating others, affecting and influencing them to become more like us through the nature of the interaction that takes place between us. We’re always acting on everything else energetically creating them and everything around us to be of a similar nature (vibration) to us. Like always begets more of what’s like itself. Subtle energy as consciousness works in an unconscious as well as conscious and direct manner to vibrate and bring into an active state what’s of the same nature as it is. Whatever is different from it, isn’t recognized or activated, and returns to a passive state, all of which change how it appears, behaves, and expresses as a natural way of being.

Once we understand this basic law of the mind as resonance, sympathetic induction, and coherence, we can realize not only the true nature of our own judgments and what they reveal about us, but also the true nature of other people’s perception of us. How they see us and the interpretation they form of us, in reality, says nothing about us, but simply reveals who and how they are. Its shows us their mental paradigm that reforms us according to their own beliefs, fears, desires, preferences, and so on. We see the world through the dynamic patterns of our own conditioning which forms the vibratory structure of our mind as our model of the world, which we use to form ourselves, others, and the world at large to all be of the same nature as a thematic idea.

One of the things that makes this difficult to fully grasp in the practical sense, is that our nature as qualities and characteristics that we inherently possess, are dual or polar in nature and have both conscious and unconscious aspects to them. A pattern as a dynamic that plays out an idea both inwardly and outwardly, is created through multiple roles that oppose yet complement each other, and act to stimulate and interact with each other to create the same idea as a joint experience of reality. So what we see in others is a projection of our own unconscious characteristics that play a complementary role in playing out the same idea as a theme, as the characteristics we openly display and are aware of.

All of life consists of patterns that form both an inner and outer reality simultaneously as a thematic idea. A person who is consciously expressing the mentality of being a victim, also acts to victimize others at the unconscious level, because it’s a role in the same pattern, while projecting that pattern onto others, stimulating the qualities and tendencies necessary to be play out the drama of being victimized. When they encounter the qualities equated with a victimizer in another person, they’re stimulated (resonate with) by them, forming a kind of chemistry as a pronounced attraction, and they enter into relationship with them based on their shared frequency. Together, through the relationship that’s formed they enter into a partnership where they act out the pattern by playing opposite, yet complementary roles in the same drama. Because we possess the whole pattern as a dynamic or frequency of victim / victimizer, or abused and abuser, with one being conscious and the other unconscious, we actually move back and forth between both roles, and act to be abusive also as unconscious tendencies or behaviors, while perceiving it as being something else based on what we tell ourselves about why we’re doing it that makes it seem different. Because of this, we remain unaware of our own tendencies that we project onto the other person, seeing them as something we don’t possess, and are therefore not deserving of.

Our vibratory frequency exists as habitual emotional states coupled with conditioned patterns that are played out through distinct behavioral dynamics, which shape our perceptual lens as a filtering system that sees in others and everything else what’s of the same dynamic and inner nature as the one we’re programmed with. How we see others is a direct reflection of our own unconscious aspects as a mental projection that acts like an activating system. We change how others are being, what qualities they express, and how they appear through an energetic interaction of consciousness that acts on everything else to vibrate the same frequency, calling it forth in an active state of expression. All reality as we are capable of knowing it is subjective in nature, meaning it’s based on and influenced or formed by personal feelings, tastes, and opinions, and is a product of the mind creating it as a vibratory match. While we know (or think we know) there’s an objective reality, because we all appear to be seeing the same fundamental elements and objects, how we experience them, what we notice or don’t notice, what we emphasize or ignore, are all different based on the mind sensing and viewing it.

So what this tells us, is that someone else’s perception, interpretation, or opinion of us, says nothing about us in the real sense of things, but simply reveals who and how they are. It shows us, if we care to know, what their model of the world is formed by their formative conditioning as issues and unconscious tendencies that arise out of their self-image. All we’re ever actually doing in the most basic sense, is expressing who and how we are as a person. We see and interact with complementary components of our own vibratory patterns as life dynamics and emotional themes. Our unconscious aspects are always being projected onto others and reflected back to us, which is what allows us to identify our own unconscious and hidden (repressed) nature. Whatever we’re acting out intentionally with full awareness, we also possess the complementary (opposite) aspects, and see and interact with them in everything else as a means of creating our experience of reality.

In a like manner, we can look at our own judgment with the same awareness, and self-reflect to realize what they’re showing us about ourselves. Whatever value judgments we place on others and use to reshape them, are showing us unconscious and hidden aspects of ourselves. Aspects that we’ve been conditioned with, that were repressed in some manner due to guilt, shame, rejection, or some other bad feeling, that caused us to deny we had while building up a defense around them, and so they remain fully operational internally as unconscious aspects forming the perceptual lens we look through to see others. The perceptual lens we look through to perceive others assigns those same unconscious qualities to them, that we then contrast and compare ourselves to, convincing ourselves we’re different and don’t have the same characteristics, making us qualified to judge and persecute them in the same manner we were judged and persecuted for having those characteristics. We do unto others what was done unto us.

This law works both ways, as the means of understanding what other people’s model is through their perception of us, and as a means of recognizing our own unconscious aspects through our perception of them. In knowing this, and fully understanding it, we’ll never again be affected by someone’s opinion of us. Unless of course, we choose to be. We’ll realize that we can’t be hurt by another person because we’re the ones creating the experience as an inner reaction of being hurt, by what is in reality an illusion as a mental projection. We’ll be able to stand in the face of criticism, blame, and antagonism while remaining calm, unaffected, indifferent, and in control. When we don’t let someone’s projections enter into and affect (infect) us, we serve as a mirror that reflects back to them the true reality of what they’re doing. It’s only when we allow them to influence us by investing a belief in their illusion of us, and we react in kind by energetically absorbing and taking it on, that we validate them and make it real by participating in the reality that’s created.

Through realization we create an energetic barrier that prevents their energy from entering into us, infecting us with a mental delusion, and controlling us by altering our state to match theirs. By realizing what’s really going on, we are no longer controlled by the opinions and behaviors of others, and maintain a sense of inner calm and peace. We can remain in full control of ourselves while deflecting and reflecting back to them, in very clear terms, their own unconsciousness. This is the true meaning of compassion. Remaining separate from other people’s illusions, not forming any kind of sympathy or reaction to them, which is what allows them to see that they actually are, an illusion of their own making, formed as a projection. In the most basic sense, nothing is “real” unless two or more people appear to be experiencing the same reality.

Self-mastery is obtained by gaining a thorough understanding of the universal laws of the mind and using them through practical application to become mentally and emotionally invincible, while gaining deep forms of self-awareness and self-realization that empowers us to correct our own errors in thinking and perceiving. We can only work in a conscious and intentional manner with what we’re aware of and understand in practical terms. Through self-awareness we can begin working with ourselves to resolve and transform our own unconscious tendencies and bring shadow aspects hidden deep within the darkness of our own mind out into the light where we can see them for what they are, a part of our own creation as a delusion. In healing our own unconscious tendencies through awareness of them, we alter the vibratory structure of our mind, reforming our paradigm, and change how the outer world appears to us, and how it influences and affects us as a result. We can come to know ourselves through the world we live in as our perception of it, which contains both conscious and unconscious aspects of the same reality.

Dr. Linda Gadbois

Transpersonal Psychologist, Personal Transformation Coach, and Spiritual Teacher