Learning to Discipline Your Emotions and Consciously Create your Experiences

Posted On March 29, 2019 / Written by Dr. Linda Gadbois

One of the most prevalent ways we’re controlled by others and the events of our life are through our emotions. As we’re triggered by the emotions being expressed by another, we take on those same emotions, and react in an automatic and unconscious manner. Anytime we’re reacting, we’re literally unconscious and operating on autopilot. Emotions are the natural force of the lower material plane that acts as the prompting mechanism for instinct. Being of an animal body, we actively share this with the rest of the animal kingdom where we’re directed and influenced to perform certain behaviors through the reception and production of emotional charges. Emotions can have a very intense and pronounced stimulation, which can make them hard to resist, especially when we’re unaware of what’s actually happening at the energetic level.

Emotions are a form of instinctual force meant to regulate the behavior of unconscious beings (those without the ability to regulate themselves), and aren’t designed to be brought into our thought processes where we form whole realities out of them. These realities formed out of emotions are what is commonly referred to spiritually as “illusions†that ultimately become a primary form of self-deception that’s delusional in nature. This means that the realities we create out of our emotions aren’t real in the most basic sense, and are something we makeup and use in place of neutral and more objective or unemotional reality as the means of creating how we experience things.

What we refer to as the subconscious mind, which is the same aspect of the mind we share with animals, plants, and all of Nature as the instinctual mind, is emotionally driven and forms automatic behaviors out of various forms of memory that provides the basis for forming habits of various sorts. As humans born into an animal body, we start off life in a primarily unconscious state where our subconscious is active and dominant and our self-conscious, thinking and discriminating mind hasn’t developed yet. We’re literally in a natural hypnotic state where we absorb and process whatever we’re being taught and is being demonstrated by our parents and family, authority figures, and through our formative education.

The subconscious doesn’t have the ability to reason and think for itself, and is passive in nature, which means it only acts as a “receiver†of ideas and not what acts to generate them. This means it doesn’t have the innate ability to evaluate and judge incoming ideas in order to decide whether they seem valid or not. Due to this inability to “choose†what ideas we take on and actively create a reality out of by imagining them, we readily take in whatever ideas we’re exposed to and actively playing a part in as an experience. Our experiences as children are created exclusively by the will of others through shared emotional states and the dynamics that ensue from them which are accumulated to form our memory base that’s then used in an automatic and repetitive fashion as a form of “reference system†for producing more realities of the same nature.

As we grow older there’s a dynamic network designed and set into place as a kind of instant referencing system of emotion-memory-behavior, referred to as our formative conditioning. As we receive a strong emotion of some kind being projected at us by another, it enters our body as an electrical charge producing a strong stimulation that’s immediately (unconsciously) associated to a memory created from that same emotional state. We then use this memory as a form of thematic template for interpreting the present to mean the same thing as the past, and react by forming the same type of perception, attitude and behavior. We go into an automated process fueled by an illusion of our own making undertaken without any conscious awareness of what we’re doing and why. This “automated mode†which we act to “create out of†is set in motion through an emotional trigger that literally renders us unconscious and we shape the present to be the same as the past.

One of the basic processes needed in order to work with emotions in a conscious manner is to gain a practical understanding of what’s really happening when we find ourselves triggered by them, because refraining from reacting by internalizing and repressing them doesn’t work, and only makes us prone to emotional outbursts in other areas that may be indirectly related and inappropriate or extreme for the situation they become expressed in. It’s only through realization of the true nature of emotions and how it is that we create our own experiences that we can act (choose) to dissolve the charge before it’s allowed to enter us and take hold. Once we become aware of what’s happening we can work with emotions as natural forces that we deflect altogether by not allowing them enter our mind-energy field, and instead act to mirror them back to the sender, neutralizing them as a result.

Two Ways we Experience Emotion

Emotion is basically experienced and produced in two fundamental ways: we either act as a passive receptor for them from an external source; or we generate them internally in response to our own thinking and imagining. Emotion is freely transmitted through the atmosphere (astral plane) through a form of telepathy, where they’re received unconsciously (automatically) by anyone in near proximity of us. Because the subconscious is “ran†by emotions and produces illusions of reality out of them as our perceptions, anytime someone around us is expressing emotions outwardly, meaning they’re projecting them, when we’re unaware of our ability to direct and control them, we act to naturally absorb them without resistance. As we absorb them they activate and bring alive in us the same emotion, forming a shared state that we then act together to form a joint reality out of. As we cooperate in acting out the delusion inherent in the shared emotional state by becoming “like†them, we simultaneously create ourselves through the experience we create. When this happens, we truly become a product of our conditioning and create our life out of a constant form of reaction, both to others and to unknown parts of ourselves.

      When we generate emotions within, they come as a natural response to whatever we’re thinking about and playing out in our imagination. The more detailed the imagining the more intense the emotion invoked by it. Most of our thoughts run through our mind in a habitual and repetitive fashion based on memory of some kind, and act to keep us tuned to the same emotional states of our conditioning. Because of the natural relationship between thought and emotion, one always acts to determine the other. Our thoughts, what we focus on, and our perception as the interpretation of the activities and events of our life that form how we create our experiences are all “habits†that operate in a repetitive and automatic fashion.

The Relationship between Thought and Emotion

The relationship between thought and emotion is self-evident through simple self-observation. These two are always married to each other and together form an equivalent perception of reality. The ability to produce false realities out of emotional thoughts is a capacity of the higher, human mind that sets us apart from the animal kingdom as our ability to willfully create. Unlike the animal kingdom, we have the ability to “create ourselves†through our ability to create our perceptions as our “experience of ourselvesâ€. Whichever one of these initiates the process as a “causeâ€, produces the other one automatically as an equivalent “effectâ€. This is easy to recognize through simple forms of self-reflection.

When we unconsciously absorb and take in emotions without resistance, and allow emotional charges to take hold “in usâ€, they act to instantly alter our state and determines what memory we associate it with that was of the same emotional state and nature. Once we reference and pull it up in our imagination, it forms our “perceptual lens†as a form of transparent, thematic template for using to interpret the current event to mean the same thing as the past event. Long after the emotional charge has subsided, it continues to influence our thoughts and what stories as scenarios we run through our mind over and over. When this happens we’re literally being controlled and therefore determined by whatever it is we’re reacting to. They literally continue to run our mind as imagined thoughts, which act as a form of mental program for our subconscious. As we program our own subconscious with imaginary thoughts, it acts to produce that same type of reality over and over as a kind of life theme.  

In a likewise manner, whatever we think about in a deliberate and controlled (willful) manner, acts to produce our emotional state as complementary to our thoughts, and together set our vibration that tunes us to the reality of our thoughts. When we think about positive, inspiring, and uplifting ideas, we act to generate corresponding emotions. Thought shapes ideas into material forms in our mind, which act as a magnet (vessel) for equivalent emotions as the natural forces that blend with them through a form of holy matrimony, and together produce corresponding realities as their offspring. By intentionally directing our own thoughts we simultaneously produce our own emotional states and tune ourselves to the outer reality that provides us with the same type of experience.

How we Create our Experience

Anytime we’re in a predominantly unconscious state, we create the perception that our experiences are somehow independent of us and “caused†by outside forces of some kind. We feel as if we have no actual control over how we experience something, because as children living out of our subconscious, our experiences came in what seemed like an automatic fashion based on what emotions we were experiencing and what behavior was being demonstrated around us that we were an active part of. As we got older and our self-conscious mind began developing (frontal cortex), we started telling ourselves a story about things as a way of trying to make sense of them, and these imaginary stories acted to program our subconscious with the reality of the story as a kind of metaphorical theme. We’re always in the process of telling ourselves a story about things as a means of interpreting events to give them meaning. Whatever we make something mean by the story we tell ourselves about it, simultaneously means the same thing about us.

We don’t have a direct awareness of the fact that we’re actually the one creating our own experiences because it happens as a natural process produced by our unconscious mind. However, when we really stop to examine it, we can come to realize how we do it by how we think about things, which is necessary in order to begin working with it in a fully aware and intentional manner. The whole basis for any form of self-mastery is self-awareness and the realization attained by bringing what’s operating just below the level of awareness into the light, and as a result, becoming aware of the creative ability of our own mind.

This awareness comes through self-examination of what is normally automated processes and starts by realizing that you are the only one actually using your mind to create your own experiences. No one is ever doing anything “to you†in terms of how you experience something, they’re simply stimulating you emotionally then giving you a suggestion that causes you to create an inner experience that’s correlated to the outer event. The inner and outer are always in an intimate relationship with each other where one “enters into†and acts to “propagate†the other, forming a joint reality. As long as we remain unaware of this process, we simply act as a passive receptor and allow ourselves to be impregnated with the will of others where we then act to systematically birth and give life to that same type of reality as our creation.

Self-Observation and Awareness

In order to gain awareness and realization around your own internal processes, create a calm, empty mind that’s void of all attachments formed out of the need to somehow make others responsible for how you feel, or to justify your right to feel and act the way you do. Then recall a situation where you were triggered by someone else’s attitude and actions around or towards you that caused you to become upset, and create a slow-motion type of spaciousness that turns it into a step-by-step process. Allow yourself to notice that the only “cause†involved was in how they were stimulating you internally. As you are stimulated, notice how it instantly alters your state and how you immediately associate it to another experience of a similar nature. You then use this past experience as the means to form the same type of experience again. Then notice what it is you begin telling yourself about it as your thoughts. Notice what story it prompts. Allow yourself to notice that you let the stimulus enter you (your mind and body) and take hold without consciously evaluating or resisting it, and begin using your mind in an unconscious manner to create the experience of “being†upset. Notice that it was your own thoughts that produced the state of being upset. You allowed the outer stimulus to enter you, take hold, and produce your perception. You are in fact the one that’s creating your own experience of being upset by it. You could just as easily choose to let it go and not be upset.

Now, in a similar fashion, imagine that same situation and activity, except this time imagine your mind as a protective bubble or impenetrable sphere of energy that surrounds and envelops you, where the emotional force being projected is stopped and is reflected instead on the surface of the transparent sphere, outside of your body, where you can “see†the nature of the emotional charge and the idea associated with it from a detached perspective. Where you can consciously decide whether or not you want to let it in and allow it to take hold and become expressed within you. Instead of unconsciously absorbing it, decide to reject it, and act instead to reflect it back while remaining unaffected by it. Allow yourself to realize that just the awareness itself creates the realization of a choice. When we wake-up from an unconscious state of automated processes we begin realizing that in every moment we’re actually making a decision as to what we let in and what we keep out of our own mental sphere. It’s only the emotional charge associated with it that makes this difficult to do. As we begin making conscious decisions as to what we allow to stimulate us, and therefore use as the means of creating our experiences, and what we act to neutralize instead, we begin realizing the true power we have in creating our own experiences.

Whenever we absorb an emotional stimulus coupled with an idea that acts as a suggestion, and act on ourselves to create an internal experience out of it, we not only create a joint-reality as an experience with whatever is impregnating us, but we simultaneously create a “sense of ourselves†through and as the experience by how we associate and identify with it. As long as we remain unconscious of our ability to create our own experiences and create them based on how we’re being stimulated at any given moment, we create ourselves by the will of others as a product of the group mind. We allow others to tell us who we are, and give us our feelings and thoughts, and as a result, willfully shape us to be like them.

The Nature of Emotional Pain and Suffering

As long as we remain in a primarily unconscious state, we form the illusion that others are causing our pain, and that we suffer due to our life conditions and circumstances. Yet all pain and suffering in the most basic sense is created by how we choose to experience things, not by the people and things themselves. No one “makes us†sad or unhappy, we’re the one that creates the experience of being sad or unhappy in relationship with everything else. No one hurts us emotionally; we act on ourselves to create the illusion of being hurt by what we tell ourselves about things that gives them meaning, causing us to feel hurt by them. We are in fact the ones acting on ourselves to inflict our own pain and suffering by how we use our own mind to create how we perceive and experience reality.

The same situation, approached with a different attitude and belief system, will produce very different types of experience. What causes pain and suffering for one person will cause a feeling of detachment or contentment for another. A situation that’s upsetting for one goes completely unnoticed by another. Anytime we’re experiencing emotional pain that’s causing us to suffer in some way, it’s providing us with a mirror into our own unconscious mind and habitual tendencies, showing us how it is that we “structure our thoughts†in order to produce our experience of reality.

The most basic problem we have in creating is that we form habitual ways of thinking and perceiving based on our conditioning. The story we’re always in the process of telling ourselves about things is formed out of our belief-system and values. As we create a reality around things, we sense ourselves by way of that reality and build our identity around it, coming to love and depend on it as a result. We become who we are by way of our own stories about things, and when challenged, will argue to defend them. In order to create new types of experiences we have to literally become a different type of person. If we give up our story as a way of thinking and structuring our experience, we don’t know who we are or how to be, which can cause a deep feeling of insecurity and fear of the unknown.

Embracing our Power and Intentionally Creating Ourselves

Another process of emotional discipline and self-realization that we can employ is to refrain from any form of emotional reaction, while turning our attention inward instead and self-reflecting. Resisting the reaction, which can come instantly, is the hardest part, and looking inward to observe our own process requires the ability to direct your own attention while being totally honest with yourself. It requires you to let go of your attachment to your need to justify your “right†to react, and simply observe what happens inside of you as a means of recognizing what’s operating in you that you’re normally unaware of in the most basic sense.

As you refrain from reacting and turn your attention inward, allow yourself to notice what comes up for you in association with the emotional trigger. What memory rises up and runs through your mind in association with it, and how do you feel because of that memory? What story as your thoughts begins running through your imagination as a replay of that memory?  Gain any form of self-awareness you can by reflecting solely on your own part in that memory instead of focusing on the other people or circumstances involved. Again refrain from any form of story that you start telling yourself as a means of justifying your right to feel that way. Simply observe it from a detached perspective as if you were another person watching it. This process will show you what your psychological wounds are that you’re not ordinarily aware of.  

Because most of the experiences that made up our formative conditioning were produced through emotional states while we lacked the ability to reason and think about them rationally as a child, when we revisit them as an adult with a fully developed conscious mind, we can see them in a different light, which allows us to experience them differently. The beauty of mental and emotional healing is that it’s the realization and awareness alone that dissolves the complex, allowing us to transform how we experience the same event. The transformation takes place by simply shedding light on what was previously obscure and vague, produced mostly from an emotional reaction while in an unconscious state.

Once we become aware of what we were previously unaware of, it no longer happens in an unconscious and automatic way, and we form a new awareness around it instead. Through awareness obtained while in a calm and detached state, we realize that we have a choice as to the meaning we give things and how we create our experience as a result. All conscious decisions are based on one primary question we’re always asking ourselves as the means of creating, and that is “who am I� Who am I going to be right now in relationship with this person, situation, or event? How am I going to use this situation or event to create an experience that’s empowering? And from a calm and fully aware state, we make that decision and begin creating ourselves with full awareness of who we’re becoming.

Dr. Linda Gadbois

Transpersonal Psychologist, Mind-Body Health Consultant, and Spiritual Teacher