# “12 / 12” – Interpreting the Mathematical Code of the 13th Full Moon that’s Ushering in the New Decade of 2020

All numbers represent laws and principles as creative processes and archetypal patterns that are acting to organize and orchestrate the entire material world. There’s no such thing as chance, and nothing ever comes randomly without a reason. Every single effect has a cause as the reason why it exists. What we write off as chance is simply a part of a bigger pattern that’s playing out on a scale so large we can’t recognize it through our immediate experiences. Nothing happens until something moves, and nothing moves without a mover. All activity comes as a part of a larger sequence of events that result through a chain reaction or a “holomovement” formed out of a dynamic interwoven infrastructure. This idea is commonly represented by a drop of water that hits the surface of a large body of water that’s considerably larger in scale and magnitude, which produces a ripple effect as concentric waves that expand in complexity and magnitude, affecting every single point in the water consistently as a wave movement. This idea is also represented as the metaphor of the “spider web” traditionally used in Native American folklore and allegories.

While 12 is a very powerful number in terms of the principle it represents, this article will highlight only the features that are significant in terms of how they’re being used in the modern day context as a date that marks what can potentially be a significant event in terms of the process it sets in motion and acts to help facilitate. The most basic interpretation of the laws represented by the number “12” is what we can call “transcendent laws”. This is because they operate on a higher and more unified level and encompass the “totality” of the lower plane of our material manifestation represented by numbers 1-10.

12 is a primary number of “measurement” and “time”, especially as it pertains to larger, whole patterns that span the entire space-time continuum. It represents the 12 parts or conscious aspects that make up a “whole”. This principle is most commonly represented through the 12 archetypes of the zodiac that are combined in varying degrees and potencies to form a whole person, as well as the outer reality of that person (society). These universal patterns can be thought of as “themes” that makeup larger patterns that are comprised of the diverse roles being played out by the 12 astrological archetypes that makeup the subconscious mind of humanity. So any event represented by the number 12 is going to be a global event that will affect all of humanity as a whole. It represents the higher plane of subtle energy where “causes” produce a pronounced effect over a larger period of time and serve to transform existing patterns by initiating a new phase in its overall development.

Numbers that come as a date and time have no significance outside of serving as a “marker” for recognizing the onset of new energy that contains a new pattern being introduced into and infiltrating the Earth’s plane from the cosmos. Subtle energy is what forms the etheric blueprint for organizing and orchestrating the material plane that rises out of it as a holographic projection. The soul is the astral body (body made of starlight) of subtle energy that exists as a form of “tincture” made by combining the 12 archetypal powers to produce a pattern as a formula of qualities. All planetary bodies are “souls” whose energies form an archetypal matrix as its level and type of universal consciousness that emanates or projects a unique version of reality. What we refer to as the “group mind” of humanity is the “subconscious” aspect of the mind that we share with all of Nature and life on this planet. It’s the “collective unconscious” that’s made up of cosmic influences from the star systems (constellations) of the “heavens”. All of life on the planet, including humanity, is “operated” to produce a unified reality as interwoven patterns by interjecting an idea in “seed” form into the subconscious mind of the planetary soul.

12 represents a “whole” as a larger pattern that makes up our entire material reality. So it indicates a global event set in motion by the interjection of new cosmic energies. This means they will come as dreams, intuition, and new realizations that come from inspired thoughts that seem to come to us out of nowhere (absorbed from the atmosphere). We won’t call them synchronicities, because the minute you call it something you act to define it through the set of limitations you impose on it, turning it into a personalized version of a universal idea. Influences of a cosmic nature effect everyone in a different way based on how these energies are adapted and systematically modified by the individual mind acting to receive them and bring them into expression through daily activities born out of their mindset.

12 is comprised of 1+2, and is still a part of the plane represented by “1” that is shaped out of the 10 primary universal laws, as the plane that transcends or rises above it. It represents the polar opposite or parallel plane of the lower one that precedes it and forms the constitution in which it serves to transform. Everything operates out of the action caused by the relationship (2) of polar opposites. 12 represents the process of development given the title of “initiation” as the path of the Adept, which is commonly represented as a spiritual master that’s accompanied by 12 disciples or assistants. The master is the 13th  as the exaltation that results from harmoniously balancing the 12 individual aspects into a unified whole. 13 is the number of transformation that acts to free the soul from the self-imposed limitations of an illusion, also referred to as “death”.

The Relationship between 12 and 13

The wheel of the zodiac is comprised of 12 spheres of consciousness as attributes that are held together or projected out of a 13th sphere as the central point that holds them together forming a greater “whole”. All spiritual masters are portrayed as having 12 disciples who assist them in their process of transformation and ascension. These 12 disciples represent the archetypes of the zodiac utilized in the creation of the master as an ascended being of a divine nature. This is accomplished by harmonizing all internal aspects of our “self” that normally contrast and compete with each other into a harmonious whole. We “create ourselves” by expressing all of our inner qualities to produce a reality that acts as a mirror and reflects back to us hidden aspects of ourselves that haven’t been properly integrated to form a whole, as well as the known aspects of ourselves.  Archetypes are the primary form of cosmic intelligence that the subconscious draws on as attributes that structure it mentally and determine how it functions emotionally. Structure always indicates function, and function is a process of creation.

The 12-fold pattern of constellations is used in every form of organization and was traditionally used as the means of organizing communities, tribes, and clans. A whole nation (person) is comprised of 12 houses of the zodiac (wheel) that gave each one a distinct personality and function that all operated as a unified whole. This is indicated by the “circular formations” constructed at sacred sites that monitored star systems as they rotated through the heavens that brought distinct influences to the Earth allowing us to predict future events and prepare for them as a result. Each of the different constellations represent an archetype as a pattern and process comprised of different attributes as “personality traits” that altered the events of the material plane through a series of corresponding correlated events that took place on a global scale.

This principle is illustrated in the allegory of the 12 tribes of 12,000 each that formed the 144,000 souls that served as the “root race” that seeded humanity. 12 x 12 (both date and time are a double number) = 144. Four is the number of physical reality as our “constitution” that forms all of the activities (ruled by Mars) that result in material manifestation. A double 4 indicates the constitution of two planes interacting to form One. 1+4+4=9  > the number of completion as a state of perfection. 1+2+1+2 or 3+3 =6, half of 12. The Hexad (6) is the most fundamental “structure” of material manifestation, and is the geometric structure of both crystals and DNA, which make up the entire material world of the mineral, chemical, plant, and animal kingdoms. 6 in the Tarot and Kabbalah represent the human soul operating on a higher plane through the faculty of the 2 lower minds of the material plane also known as the subconscious of the group mind that we not only share with all of humanity, but with all of Nature as well. The subconscious is the mind that produces and contains material reality as a mental construct and projection. The mind itself in each aspect is represented by 3 as a triangular orientation of a 3-fold nature, where one exists on a higher level and the other two on a lower level as polar opposites of each other.

We can think of 12 as representing a larger pattern as a greater whole that acts to reorganize the structure of the entire material world and how it operates. It injects an idea into the greater mind of humanity that serves to set a whole new sequence of events into motion that will span over a extended period of time and ultimately act to completely transform the pattern currently being acted out. All patterns are transformed through the incorporation of new ideas that serve to modify it into a variation. These ideas come as “influences” because they’re psychological in nature and will be incorporated uniquely by every individual who will play them out in a different way within their daily life, while still holding true to the overall pattern being played out by society as a whole.

The Law of 3

12 in the ultimate sense is a combination of the laws represented by 1 and 2, which are projections of each other. This formula represents attention as will that enters into and activates a cosmic memory (archetypal matrix) that forms an idea in its potential (unformed) state, which is formed into a “seed” that’s projected from a higher plane into the imagination (womb) of the subconscious on the lower plane, where it gestates and is grown into a detailed reality. 3 is the number that represents the imagination as the womb of the material world. 1+2=3. Three is the first “true number” of the material plane because this is the stage where an invisible idea is shaped into an astral form in the imagination. This astral form of the imagination made out of liquid light, forms the “etheric blueprint” for organizing its material duplicate as a corresponding outer projection.

A double 12 as two 3’s = 6. This represents the balanced state of the two polar aspects of the subconscious and self-conscious to produce a state of equilibrium as a “functional third”. The Hexad is the primary geometric structure of DNA and crystalline matrices formed out of the programming inherent in DNA. This is represented by interlaced triangles oriented in different directions. It can be thought of as a “polar shift” that re-orientates us in terms of what plane we draw information from. Parallel (polarized) planes that overlap each other exist in polarity with each other as a “relationship”, represented by 2, which serves as the basis for birthing new realities through the Vesica Pisces of the Dyad (forms an interference pattern). All reality is formed out of the relationship we form with different aspects of ourselves as an inner and outer reality comprised of the same archetypal consciousness.

12 +12 = 24 = 6. The double number not only indicates an emphasis as amplification, but changes the equation from 3 to 6, indicating a different effect of a pronounced nature. All activity that takes place through the group mind acts to program our DNA, which we also share in common with all biological life forms in Nature. It’s the subtle body as the two minds in a balanced state that forms the blueprint for spatially organizing the material matrix, produced as an emanation or holographic projection “through” DNA. 3 is the number of the mind, which operates as 3 aspects on 2 planes (1+2) and whose creative capacity lies in the imagination, represented by 3, and is what serves to “program” our DNA through our “perception” of the reality formed in our imagination. 1 is the higher mind that projects into the 2 lower aspects of the same mind giving it a pattern to manifest.

The Full Moon

As stated earlier, there’s a natural relationship that exists between 12 and 13. 12 is a solar number where time is measured as the 12 months that make up a year, in which approximately 13 lunations take place. The Moon acts to absorb and reflect the light of the sun, and is what regulates all of life on the planet through magnetic energy. 13 represents the process of death as the passing away of certain energies that have exhausted their expression, in order to form new ones in their place. The body and its consciousness are formed out of the 12 archetypes which combine to form a crystalized structure that projects a certain type of reality and experiences, which are then absorbed by the soul as it sheds the body in death.

13 represents death of the old to allow the conception and growth of the new. It represents the etheric plane as the natural domain of the soul on a higher plane that works through lunar influences to organize the activities of Nature on the material plane. Lunar forces are what “operate” and set in motion all the natural tendencies and instinctual processes of Nature. 12 is the greater whole that’s organized and animated through the etheric blueprint of the harmonious balance of the 2 minds by the higher aspect of the soul. During a full moon the Earth’s magnetic (astral) energies are at a peak and produce a pronounced effect on the subconscious of planetary consciousness. All instinctual activities of Nature are initiated and regulated through lunar cycles formed from sunlight (starlight).

This indicates that the subconscious of the entire material plane is being impregnated with a new pattern that will ultimately restructure it and change how if functions as a whole. 1 is solar, 2 is lunar, and 3 is the unification as a whole. When the archetypal matrix is altered by pulsating energies that produce new emphasis as exalted influences, society as a whole begins expressing in new ways, and a natural sequence of events are set into motion that eventually act to transform reality.

12+12+12+12=48, material reality (4) as magnetic forces are altered and tamed through strength of will (8), and made into a passive vehicle for higher forms of expression. It’s only in overcoming the magnetic attraction of instinctual energies that we attain self-mastery. We can only control what doesn’t control us. 4+8=12, the number of the initiate and a reversed orientation that walks contrary to the manifest world. All great spiritual masters have 12 disciples that they minister to, making them the 13th, as the one who “transcends” the illusion of death. These changes will cause the current illusions of mass deception to begin dying and falling away allowing a new idea to be birthed in its place. We can’t build a new reality out of the existing one; we can only remodel it into a variation of the same idea. It has to completely crumble and fall apart, its foundation destroyed, the ground reworked, and a new footprint laid down in its place. This means there’s a rough road ahead that’s going to bring significant changes in society as a whole. The signs appear in Sagittarius, which gives us clues as to the nature of the new influences and it will serve to modify the current pattern being played out.

2020 – The Birth of a New Decade

This 12-12 event acts to summarize our current era while ushering in a new one. We’re entering a new decade represented by another double number. 20 as a general rule represents moving to a higher level as a double 10 (complete cycle or level). 20+20=40, the number that represents the time frame needed to break a habit while instilling a new one. It’s the number of “purging”, cleansing, and purifying, as the means of creating a new reality (4). 2+2=4, the rational number of material reality. Here again, 2 represents the Dyad as the relationship that introduces a new influence as an archetypal pattern that serves to produce a new type of material manifestation as a global transformation. This is the number of subtle, spiritual energies that precede and act to seed the subconscious mind and alter manifestation of the whole. New realizations are going to take place that will reveal ideas that are being covertly acted out and set a whole new series of activities and events into motion that will move us from one phase of development into another one.

20 represents what’s referred to as the “universal Medicine” as a purification process that cleanses the soul of illusions produced out of weakness that are toxic and destructive, as a spiritual rebirth or awakening. It’s transformation necessary for ascension to a higher plane of consciousness that operates as a singularity rather than as fragmented parts that are divided into competing classifications. This process of transcendence is facilitated by reversing polarity as the relationship between the active and passive aspects of the material mind, where the active (masculine) component is made passive, so that the passive (feminine) aspect can be impregnated by a higher power that’s not “ego oriented”. In other words we “reverse” what plane we connect with and draw information from as the means for creating. We move from allowing ourselves to be programmed and controlled by the earthly forces of humanity as “mass consciousness”, and instead begin taking direction from higher forms of intelligence as a form of “waking up” to our true nature as divine, sovereign beings. We begin utilizing our lower mind by bringing it into the service of our higher mind, which oversees and conducts the activities of the entire lower plane through purely mental means.

Bringing it all Together

These combined symbols serve as a “marker” in time that lets us know we’re moving into a new phase of an even greater pattern that will act to change the very structure, function, and order of society as a whole. As with all subtleties, this will come as a shift in consciousness that sets a whole new sequence of events into motion from every level of society because it comes through purely mental means. It’s the subtle plane (2) that serves as the blueprint for organizing the material plane (4). All reality is birthed through the womb of the Dyad (Vesica Pisces) as a relationship that’s formed with different aspects of the “self” (12 archetypes of Human Psyche). The higher plane overlaps the lower, producing and interference pattern (Hexad) that modifies the frequency being vibrated through polar opposites. “As above, so below, and as below, so above, in the wondrous workings of the One thing”. All reality is produced as a reflection and projection of organized energy (consciousness) from the higher plane of subtle energy.

The archetypal matrix of the Earth is being altered through the exaltation of energies in Sagittarius, and it’s going to modify the pattern that’s currently being played out on a global level. Astral influences of star-systems in the heavens govern the activities of the world and move us through different phases of an evolutionary process. 12 is related to the measurement of time and how things are organized spatially as an all-encompassing whole. An injection of Sagittarius energy as an archetypal influence is being injected into the group mind of the planetary soul, which will be necessary in order to ultimately facilitate the process of ascension by moving us into a new phase or stage of the overall process we’re currently engaged in.

This event is going to introduce new active properties into the “tincture” of the group mind that will actively change how it expresses. This will transform the manifestations produce in the last decade to form a new vibration of the decade we’re moving into. This will most likely come about as subtle changes in consciousness that will bring about dynamic changes in the way we perceive and behave. Our reality only changes when we change. All change comes from the inside as inspired thoughts that are imagined as an outer reality. Existing patterns are only transformed through the injection of new ones. We are all the expression of the group mind we share in common, and form reality through behaviors and what activities we naturally engage in as a whole group. When we begin acting as a single race with a single purpose we’ll evolve ourselves to a higher plane of existence.

Transformation requires death of the old in order to give birth to the new. Destruction is a necessary phase of transformation required in order to build something new in its place. The “veil of ignorance”, which exists between 2 poles or pillars, is going to continue to drop revealing the covert actions taking place behind closed doors as a “secret society” who thrives by feeding off of others. As deception is uncovered and revealed, it will require action on our part in order to obliterate it, so new transparent systems can be erected in their place that serve the good of everyone. This change will come as realizations that produce new awareness and spawns new ways of perceiving the world. Through new perceptions we will act collectively to re-inform the DNA of our bodies that’s used to structure all living organisms on a global scale and new crystalline structures of a pure and pristine nature will begin forming that rejuvenates life.

Things will become exaggerated and intensify before they can be resolved. Deception and corruption will become increasingly apparent as people begin waking up and speaking out. Anyone who continues to cling to the old ways produced out of a corrupt world system, declaring their loyalty to the establishment, will be taken down with it. Only those who are able to “clearly see” the deception and are no longer fooled by it and take action towards creating it’s resolution will participate in what will result in ascension to a higher plane of unity as a utopian society of highly conscious beings. A great thinning process is taking place that will sort out those who are fully awake and aware, and those who choose to remain asleep and delusional.

I spend hundreds of hours a month writing, editing, designing, and managing this website in order to provide the highest quality of knowledge possible in the area of Spiritual Sciences and Applied Psychology for FREE to those who are seeking it. If you have found the information on this site to be valuable and beneficial to your personal growth and development, please consider making a donation and actively supporting my work . . .

# How to Know God and Ascend in Spirit to Higher Dimensions

In order to intelligently consider this idea we have to start by defining what we mean by “God”, because this idea is different for everyone. The word God is being used in this context to represent a higher power of universal consciousness as the laws and principles that govern the entire cosmos. God is not an entity or Deity, but the Universal Mind out of which all material phenomena is contained as a mental construct or holographic projection. As humans we have been bestowed with the same mind (conscious self-awareness) and have the ability to “know God” by becoming one with It in Mind. We only attain “knowledge of” something by becoming one with it in spirit and the same as it in mind and experiencing it from “within it as it”. We look out at the world through the same eyes and level of self-awareness. In this context “it” isn’t referring to an actual or single being, but the consciousness as a mental state that’s formed within as a direct and intimate experience of the same nature and kind that includes “all” of reality as a singularity or whole movement.

What we refer to as the spiritual world or realm is invisible to the physical senses and can only be known directly through thought and self-awareness. All thoughts are formed in the mind as an inner speech or voice that shapes an image of the thought in the imagination. All thoughts are formed as a product of or direct reflection of our state of mind or mood. Whatever state we exist in as a general rule determines what type of ideas we form a natural connection with and act as a host for bringing into expression as our internal representations that form a kind of symbolic template as a “theme” and metaphor for producing as an equivalent outer experience of reality. While we have a tendency to believe that the body gives rise to our mind and produces our thoughts, in reality, our body merely acts as a vessel or conduit for our mind to inhabit and use as the means of expressing and creating experiences of our “self” through.

Both our mind and higher human soul are not fixed ideas generated by a finite set of conditions as located within the space-time continuum, but are energetic formations that are constantly undergoing a process of evolution and transformation as acquiring and integrating different qualities and states of consciousness. The body and the personality of the body, often referred to as our lower, animal soul and subconscious, is merely the means through which the higher soul enters into a state of “separation with itself” as an “illusion produced by the mind” in order to create an “experience” of itself. All experience is created out of a state of duality as a projection of complementary opposites that act “on” each other to transform each other. We only acquire knowledge of ourselves through how we create our experiences. All “phenomenon” is created out of vibration which is the movement as a dance between the masculine (electric) and feminine (magnetic) aspects of the “same thing” that work together to produce the illusion of an “inner and outer” as being different and often unrelated. The foundation of vibration is movement, which can only occur through separation.

The mind is an aspect of the soul, and like the soul, exists on multiple levels simultaneously and is formed out of the same qualities and archetypal ideas that operate in a universal fashion as laws and principles. We have an individual mind, a family or group mind, race mind, cultural mind, and a cosmic or universal mind, all of which operate in harmony with each other based on a shared theme and type or level of consciousness that they all exist within. The mind is the “medium” through which we connect with the greater mind of humanity and the cosmos. Our physical body and our personality born out of the body, merely houses our mind and soul and acts as a “tuning mechanism” for “drawing in” consciousness from the atmosphere or astral plane of light that’s all around us. We not only tune ourselves to be a receiver and transducer through our thoughts and feelings, but also through expanding from an awareness of ourselves as being a body to being a part of a greater mind that encompasses the whole of reality in which we play a part.

In order to expand into the greater mind of humanity and the cosmos, we have to transcend our limited perception of ourselves as being a single personality, and realize that we’re also playing a role in a much larger dynamic where we’re a part of other people’s lives and serve to provide them with certain “types” of learning experiences as well. We have to expand our awareness beyond our sense of self that’s oriented to our body, which can only be done by purifying ourselves of negative emotions that keep us absorbed in playing out unconscious dramas that enhance and accentuate the feeling of separation. When we internalize everything to make it about us personally, we construct the walls of our own prison and condemn ourselves to a life of solitary confinement. It’s our emotions and passions that keep us locked into an unconscious state where we don’t realize we have the power to transcend them.

Emotions only exist as natural forces on the material plane where they keep us tied into a form of animal instinct where we use the creative power of our mind to produce whole realities as stories about ourselves and life that are fantasies. As long as emotions control our mind and how we think, determining what type of reality we create internally, we remain imprisoned by our own delusions. All emotional and psychological pain is self-administered when we stay shrouded in the cloak of our own ignorance as to our true, divine nature. As long as we continue to create an experience of our “self” as being our “body”, and therefore bound to the unconscious state of the body, we’re consumed with selfishness and remain nearsighted.

The only way we can truly “know” anything is by becoming “like” it. Like can only know what’s like itself. Like only has the power to produce more of what’s like itself. So in order to “know” God, we have to become “like” god. God only exists through mind and it’s only through our mind that we can become one with God. Not as an individual located within a single body and specific set of conditions and circumstances, but by expanding outside of ourselves to become a greater part of a conscious whole. We’re not only “having and experience” ourselves, but we’re also playing a significant role in a greater idea that provides a certain type of experience for others. We play a part in a greater pattern and are providing others with the means necessary for them to grow themselves in relationship with us. We play a part in our immediate family, community, society, and all of humanity. By expanding our awareness of ourselves as being a part of a greater whole, we can begin identifying with being a higher, universal being.

When we expand our mind and perception of our self to be of a more universal nature, we not only sense ourselves in a much more profound way, but we become conscious and aware of our part in the grand scheme of things. We begin relating and identifying with being a universal soul and take on the perspective and attitude of being of service to others and acting in a way that serves the highest benefit of everyone involved. We begin thinking of ourselves in a much more non-personal way. We begin putting thought into how it is we’re affecting and influencing others, aiding them in their growth somehow, or demonstrating a higher way of being, and it changes our perception of ourselves and gives us a renewed sense of purpose.

As long as we’re self-consumed and live out of dramas that self-administer our own pain and suffering by somehow making everything about us and taking things personal, we remain confined in the darkness of ignorance. As long as we grieve over the “bad hand” we feel we were dealt in life, or wallow in our own demise and self-pity, we remain a prisoner within the confines of our own mind. The very foundation of ignorance as an “error in self-awareness and realization” comes through selfishness and a reluctance to play our role harmoniously within a much greater idea that’s playing out. This is what it means to realize that you’re not your body living an insignificant life in a mundane situation, but are a universal being that has had many bodies, personalities, and different life experiences that served to shape you through your part in an ongoing cosmic story.

Creating the Experience of Becoming One with the Higher Mind of God

We can only attain knowledge through direct experience. In order to understand this idea, we have to bring it into practice as an experience. Here are a couple of methods you can use to begin learning how to look at your life differently and sense yourself in a much more expanded and powerful way.

Third Person Perspective: In any situation of your daily life, take a moment and instead of experiencing it within yourself looking out with all of your usual self-dialogue going on, imagine watching yourself from the distance and how you would appear to another person. Step outside of yourself and view the situation from a distant perspective where you don’t make anything that’s going on personal, but instead view it in as objective a manner possible. Imagine it as if it’s a movie where you’re not the main star or co-star, but simply playing one part of a bigger story. Dissociate from your body and personality and see yourself as just another person in a much larger situation, and watch how it changes your perspective on things and what your life seems to be about. Do this repeatedly throughout your day until you start getting good at it.

Meditation: The spiritual world of invisible consciousness can only be known through thought that’s felt inwardly. We can only know God by entering into the silence of our own mind. This means we have to quiet our own “thinking” as rambling thoughts formed through a chain of association that come in an automatic way. It’s our own internal dialogue fueled by habitual tendencies that create both a sense of separation from the whole, and our self as being our personality and conditioning. As we quiet our thoughts and become completely calm and fully relax our body (tension comes from thoughts that produce emotion in the body), our mind expands as an awareness that moves us outside of our body and into the space around us.

We begin expanding out into the space all around and sense ourselves as part of a greater whole. We sense ourselves as being a part of a greater mind and enter into the flow of universal consciousness all around us and we form a new, expanded sense of ourselves. We sense ourselves through a whole new way of being. We lose all sense of our self and become one with creation. We become all aspects that are playing complementary roles in a much bigger picture. We become pure presence, which strangely enough fills us with a feeling of bliss and euphoria. We realize that all of our pain and suffering results from the fact that we’re confined to a body. In this moment we know we’re actually a soul within a body and not limited to the body itself. We know this not as a theory that’s difficult to even grasp in practical terms, but from the direct and immediate experience of it as being it. It’s the “experience” that brings realizations that instantly transform you and your entire way of thinking and perceiving.

Conclusion

Through the experience of becoming one with the greater mind, attained only in meditation, introspection, and contemplation, a whole new series of realizations occur spontaneously. We learn truth from within the experience of it and so we never doubt it again. As we experience ourselves from within the silence of the greater mind that expands our awareness of our self, a whole new reality opens up that’s fresh and invigorating. We feel renewed and our purpose in life as a divine being becomes intimately clear and we fall in love with ourselves because we love how it feels to be who we really are. We realize that we’re not here to be consumed in constant personal dramas, but to play a significant and meaningful role in serving the whole of humanity in as fluid and harmonious way as possible. We step fully into ourselves as divine beings of a noble nature here to set humanity free by transcending the illusions of the emotional, animal subconscious that confines us to darkness by identifying with a specific animal body and point in time.

I spend hundreds of hours a month writing, editing, designing, and managing this website in order to provide the highest quality of knowledge possible in the area of Spiritual Sciences and Applied Psychology for FREE to those who are seeking it. If you have found the information on this site to be valuable and beneficial to your personal growth and development, please consider making a donation and actively supporting my work . . .

# “14” – The Art of Transmutation and Regulating Your Vibratory Frequency

The symbolic interpretation of the Tarot card 14 – Temperance by Dr. Linda Gadbois

In the occult sciences all “numbers” represent powers or potencies, laws or agencies, and conditions or effects. All double numbers exist as a formula of principles utilized in performing an operation, and are added together to form a single digit number as the primary law involved. All numbers are correlated with the 22 letters of the Hebrew alphabet, which also represent principles and powers of creation and transformation. When we look at the number 14, we have a process indicated by 1 and 4 in undergoing the operation indicated by 5. Our formula is represented by the equation of 1 + 4 = 5.  All of what we call “laws” is actually the processes that are at work in any situation as the basis for creating the material world. The laws themselves are what you can think of as the invisible forces that energize, organize, and animate the material world.  1 represents mental power of concentrated thought that forms the basis for all manifestation, represented by 4, and 5 is the basic principle of “mind over matter”.

We form a basic translation of the meaning of numbers by utilizing a system of correspondences as a chain of associated ideas (intuitively). All major systems of spiritual sciences (Qabalah, Tarot, Astrology, Sacred Geometry, Numerology, etc.) can be used as the means of translating each other in order to find their shared meaning. The number 14 represents the principle of Temperance and the Art of Transformation in the Tarot, and corresponds with Tiphereth (5th Sephiroth) in the Qabalah Tree of Life. The Hebrew word assigned to 14 is Samekh, which means support, foundation, or what holds something up. It’s what makes the house secure as its foundation. It’s that which sustains, preserves, and maintains our personal existence.

The literal meaning of the Hebrew noun is “quivering” or “vibration”. Vibration is the fundamental power of the fiery force (fire) that makes sight possible. Sight is the sense that observes what has manifest as a sensory experience and is the function represented by Key 4. The fire element is represented by the “lion”, which is associated with “strength” (Key 8), and the value of Geburah in the Tree of Life (Qabalah) as “severity”, which is the strength aspect of 5 (Tiphereth) . The quality associated with Temperance is wrath, which indicates a strong action that causes a quivering or trembling (vibration) movement, and is represented by the Hebrew word RVGZ, which is translated numerically through the Keys of the Tarot forming:  R=19 (value of 200), V=5 (value of 6), G=2 (value of 3), and Z=6 (value of 7). When added together they form 216, which equals 9. When translated using Astrology we get:  R = Sun, V = Taurus, G = Moon, Z = Gemini > 19 + 5 + 2 + 6 = 32 = 5, the reduction of 14. Five is symbolized by the Hierophant as the higher-self working to create on the lower plane through the 2 lower aspects of the self-conscious and subconscious mind. In Sacred Geometry it represents the Pentad as the 5th element of the ether that resides over the 4 Elements of the lower plane. It symbolizes “mind over matter” and our ability to change our physical constitution using the power of our mind to alter our vibration.

Vibration is the basis out of which all physical forms manifest. Vibration is essentially a sound (spoken word) that organizes light (matter) into the meaning as an image associated with the word. Sound as an inner voice is the mode of consciousness associated with the Hierophant as “hearing”. Our 5th chakra is associated with the throat, and “will” as calling forth (speaking) the reality of the vision formed in the 6th chakra of the imagination. Vibration is a fluctuating motion as an undulation, pulsation, and alternation that creates a “wave-form”. A wave is formed through the polarity of complementary forces that work together as a single entity. This indicates the combination of rhythm and cycles, represented by Key 10 as a completed cycle of formation and growth. 10 = 1, this represents concentration on an idea in a single-minded fashion and the attentive observation of experience.

The mode of consciousness associated with 14 is Tentative Intelligence as “probation” or “trial”, because experience is the true test of all ideas. All theory is put to the test of practical application. As we apply an idea to our life, we produce an experience. We can then modify it by working directly with the experience. As we set an idea into motion we set up a kind of “feedback loop” where we begin receiving direct feedback as to the effectiveness of our application. This feedback is recognized by paying close attention to what we’re experiencing as we apply an idea to our everyday life. Based on the feedback we receive, we modify our idea until it produces the experience of reality it claims to. All learning as the means of acquiring knowledge through experience comes through experimenting with an idea through trial and error.

Temperance means to temper and modify something through a process of “adaptation” (Key 5), which is the basis of all practical work. All things are birthed as the adaptation of a universal idea to produce a personal version of the same idea. As we draw on an archetypal idea, we adapt it to our mental paradigm and the life situation we plan on utilizing it in as a means of creating an experience, and modify it accordingly. To adapt is to make adjustments necessary in order for it to work within a special set of circumstances. As we adjust an idea we undergo a constant process of equalization in order to coordinate it harmoniously with all other existing ideas. “Equilibrium is the basis of the Great Work”. The art of transmutation comes by applying universal knowledge through experimentation in order to “grow” in a continuous manner.

The image most commonly associated with Key 14 is an angel standing with one foot on land and the other in water, holding a container in one hand filled with water being poured onto the earth, and a wand in the other hand that’s directing a flame downward, combining water and fire as the passive (form) and active (life-force) aspects that form the same thing. A rainbow connects both sides of the angel’s wings, and symbolizes a bridge that unites the two minds in a harmonious and balanced state. By changing the proportion of the qualities being combined, we alter the results. The colors of the rainbow (7) reveal the hidden nature of light as interwoven frequencies that blend together to form a unified whole. Vibratory qualities exist as complementary pairs of opposites that are extremes of each other, and are used to modify each other.

The pool of water represents the subconscious which is the seat of automatic consciousness as the “vital soul” of man (light body), which is regulated and directed by the higher-self, represented by Tiphereth (5) on the center of the Tree as an equilibrated state. Water is influenced by the Moon (as instinct) and symbolizes emotion and memory (which are always connected) that takes the shape of its container and “informs it”. This is the same pool shown in Key 18, called the Moon, which symbolizes the subconscious. The rolling hills in the background imitate the motion of a wave as peaks and valleys, which is the characteristic as a “range” of all forms of vibration. A path rises from the pool and undergoes many cycles of growth by adapting too many life situations and circumstances, which serve to modify and grow it accordingly.

The angel is wearing a crown designed as a headband with a “Monad” directly over the forehead, representing the 3rd-eye where archetypal ideas are translated into visual images that become the creative instructions for the subconscious to produce as an experience of reality. The attainment of higher consciousness comes as self-mastery where we master our lower nature to create the kingdom of the Higher Soul. Key 1 symbolizes attainment through self-realization of perfect union with primal will. Wisdom and Understanding (Chokmah and Binah) are only attained through experience. All of our experiences are created by how we’re using complementary aspects of our mind to produce our reality. If we don’t like our experience of reality, then we need to change the thoughts and ideas we’re using as the means of creating it.

The number 7 (7 + 7 = 14) represents creative expression as a variation produced through the adaptation of an idea to a practical situation that modifies it. In Sacred Geometry, the Heptad (7) is comprised of 7 angles within a circle that have no precise measurement, and so each time it’s drawn or constructed, it’s a unique variation of the same shape. 7 is the number that represents “will” as our innate ability to select a new idea and apply it in order to create something new, or transform what already exists into a new variation. We take a new idea and start by forming it in our imagination as a possible reality that serves to provide us with a kind of template for applying it.

As we apply an idea to create an experience of it, we constantly modify it based on observation of what results, until we get it just the way we want. Over the heart center of the angel is a “7 pointed star” which has reference to “skill”, because the circle must be divided into 7 equal parts that can only be estimated through trial and error. Above it is written the Tetragrammaton as the 4-letter name of God (YHVH), which is actually a formula for creating as Will, Intellect, Sensation, and the manifestation of the intellect (idea). The 7 points represent the 7 aspects of God, the 7 colors of the spectrum, 7 notes of a musical scale, 7 planets of astrology, 7 alchemical metals, and the 7 energy centers of the subtle body. All of which form correspondences of each other.

One foot is in the pool of water = the cosmic mind-stuff of the astral plane (imagination), and the other on land = physical reality produced by the mind, and the body which bridges the two as the path we walk. The two instruments, the vessel and wand, represent the subconscious and self-conscious, and the body that holds them is the soul that utilizes them as the means of creating. They flow one into another. What’s below streams from above, and what’s above is reflected below (4/Tetrad). The inner and the outer are a single stream of consciousness where one is a continuation of the other in symbolic form. Opposites act on each other to temper each other. Thought and emotion always exist in union where one gives rise to the other as an intimate interaction.

The Holy Guardian Angel deciding and administering the whole process represents our Higher Divine Self-Soul, who makes all of our tests and trials that lead us along the path of attainment. We are always the “One” acting on ourselves within multiple planes of manifestation. We exist simultaneously on two primary planes that are comprised of 7 levels of consciousness. This arrangement (image composition) is the same as the Hierophant (5) and the Lovers (6), which both show a higher being (priest and guardian angel) overseeing a young couple (male and female), where three aspects of our selves operate as if they’re one on two levels of reality. This triangular configuration represents the 3-aspects of the mind as the Higher or Super conscious, the subconscious (feminine) and self-conscious (masculine), and the two levels of reality they exist in simultaneously.

Some pictorial composites show an arrow shooting upward, representing that we have to shoot for a definite mark or goal in all of our practices. Never accept theories or statements of others as being true, no matter how plausible they may seem, until you’ve tried them for yourself by applying them practically to create an experience of them. Always test ideas through actual practice. We only “attain” knowledge through experience, and we only transform and grow ourselves through creating experiences of ourselves that bring self-realization. The whole purpose of ageless wisdom is to provide us with the theories as the basis for actual practice. It’s not designed to persuade you to accept ideas as being true through a form of blind faith. Truth can only be known through direct experience. The only true failure in life is the failure to try. Anyone who accepts an idea as being true without trying it is foolish in the most basic sense and unintelligent. All spiritual knowledge is meant to provide us with the means for growing ourselves to higher and higher levels of wisdom and understanding. It’s only by trial and experimenting with ideas that you realize truth and the power that makes the experiment into something higher than your personality.

It’s our experiments that alter us by equalizing and coordinating our vibratory (energetic) activities. We only truly “know” by becoming one with an idea as a reality that brings realization and deeper insights into our own higher nature. Everything in the manifest world is vibrating at a certain frequency, and all forms of vibration are modified by mental means and control. The entire cosmos is mental in nature. All reality is birthed through a concentration of the mind on an idea. This path (14) leads from the moon of Yesod to the Sun of Tiphereth as the higher soul working through the agency of the subconscious and self-conscious to form the etheric body (Yesod) of Light (7), which forms the vibration as an energetic blueprint for ordering and animating the material body.

This idea represents the consummation of the Royal Marriage (Lovers) where the feminine and masculine are united to form a single androgen. All transformation comes by using the self-conscious mind to seed the subconscious mind with an idea for creating as an outer experience. We change our vibration and transform our physical world through a counter-exchange of qualities that form equilibrium as the inner made the outer and the outer an extension and reflection of the inner. By forming new combinations of positive and negative qualities of the same idea, we adapt the inner to the outer and modify it into a new variation as a growth process based on experience that develops us in new ways. The robe of the angel is green, symbolizing Venus, the imagination, and the plant kingdom. All actual material objects are regarded as “dead” (fixed) by the symbolism of science. The problem with transmuting metals is that they don’t grow. Our first task in transforming ourselves is to return fixed ideas (minerals) back into a state of growing and evolving (vegetative). The best way to do this is by imitating the processes of Nature.

When fire and water are harmoniously mingled, will and sensation form thought as air, which becomes the astral seed for manifesting as a reality. Once manifest, the manifestation itself doesn’t have the ability to change itself, only the mind as thought has the ability to alter the light body that’s used to organize it. It’s only by changing the “qualities” as the formula being used that alters the manifestation that results. By changing the frequency an idea vibrates at, we change the energetic pattern organizing it. We use complementary opposites to reformulate it by mingling contradictory elements in order to modify it. We transform existing manifestations by modifying the qualities being used to form and animate it. The Alchemical Marriage comes by forming new combinations of fire and water that alter the astral body of light and vibration. The formula for continued life is death (13), traditionally symbolized by the raven on a skull. The Greenman of spiritual folklore is the “dreamer” and “redeemer”. It’s through dreaming that we continue to grow. When we quit growing we begin dying.

We only transform through growth that develops new qualities as a way of being and seeing. By using complementary opposites of the same frequency we embody new qualities as a state of mind. The internal process comes by using the hidden stone (Pineal) V.I.T.R.I.O.L., which is considered the universal solvent. This hidden stone, also called the Philosophers stone, is the Universal Medicine as a “tincture” that’s formulated by adding new properties that serve to transform the constitution of the whole. Purification comes by transforming weakness as passions into strength as intelligence. The only real difference between dead and living things is their behavior and activities.

The term “vitriol” represents the balance of 3 things, symbolized by the 3 alchemical principles of sulfur, mercury, and salt (Key 1,3, and 4). Ideas that we use to seed our imagination are gestated and developed to form our physical reality. All creation comes as speech (words) that are felt as an experience. Our vital body is formed by will, intellect, and sensation, and is what forms the energetic blueprint for producing our experiences of reality. Creating a new living substance is the path of the Higher Will which operates on the lower self by planting a seeded idea in the imagination where it gestates and grows into a manifestation as an equivalent outer experience. A talisman is commonly used to represent an idea that’s grown in the imagination and birthed as an outer experience of the same kind. It’s a vision introduced into our mind that forms our voice and directs all of our activities. It’s a combination of forces, realization, and action that form a feedback loop and provide us with the basis for making accurate calculations. We use an idea translated into an internal representation of a possible reality as the means of providing us with a template for transforming our self by producing new experiences. Whatever reality we formulate inwardly becomes the basis for experiencing outwardly.

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# The Importance of Working with an Ideal – Creating a Vision for Your Ultimate Development

While many of us have been trained to the idea of creating a vision for our life in terms of lifestyle, professional career, relationships, health, etc., few of us embrace the importance of forming an “ideal” of ourselves in terms of self-development or spiritual realization. Yet, the interesting fact that many fail to realize is that all other goals as activities or accomplishments of our life, depend on our personal development for achieving in a natural and automatic fashion. Our “life” is created out of our “self”. We are the creators of our life as a fundamental form of self-expression. By changing ourselves and acquiring new abilities, all other areas of our life change accordingly. If we try to change “areas of our life” without changing the part of ourselves that are naturally producing it, we struggle, become frustrated, and usually fail in the ultimate sense, often, without ever knowing why.

Another “fluffy comment” that’s popular these days is the idea that you’re “perfect just the way you are”. This idea is usually addressing various forms of judgment from other people, or self-esteem issues around “not being good enough”. Yet self-perfection, as a personal “ideal”, which is the ultimate and only real spiritual goal, is something we not only decide for ourselves, but are also fully responsible for executing. Nobody can develop us for us (intentionally), just as no one can heal us. All healing and self-growth is something only we can do for ourselves by how we use our mind to control our body, our behaviors, and activities that we naturally engage in. In much the same way we create a vision as an ultimate outcome, achieved through systematic steps and stages as goals necessary for achieving the outcome, we create an “ideal” of ourselves as “being the best we can be”, then aspire towards it by intentionally developing latent potential, healing emotional and psychological issues that prevent it, or being the way we want to be in terms of character and quality of consciousness.

Perfection can be thought of as taking an idea, and turning it into the ultimate form of that idea as an “ideal”. Perfection is whatever perfect means to us. No one else can tell us what perfection means, or what qualities we need to develop in order to be perfect. Perfection is a standard or quality of being. Our concept of self-perfection as our “ideal self”, is something that we must soul search in order to realize, then want it bad enough to devote ourselves to doing what it takes to become it. Our personal ideal has nothing to do with material possessions, wealth, status, or creating a self image that we portray to the world as a false image of how we’d like to be seen by others, but rather as an essential part of our true nature that’s developed internally, that becomes a natural part of our being. It comes by developing qualities that evolve our character to a higher level of awareness and self-control, which forms the foundation necessary for a whole series of positive changes to take place automatically as the natural offspring of new qualities of consciousness. The most natural way to create in all areas of our life, is to start by consciously creating our “self”. Out of our self, comes everything else in an effortless and spontaneous way.

In many of the spiritual traditions, which are all focused on self-development from a moral perspective, they provide a system of understanding qualities of consciousness as possessing opposite yet complementary aspects of each other as vices and virtues. Vices are poor character traits that form weakness that lead to various forms of addictions and moral degradation, and are predominantly destructive in nature. Virtues are positive, opposite qualities of vices, which provide the means for transforming them. Virtues are qualities of higher levels of consciousness that are strengths, lead to growth and nourishment, and naturally produce very positive and constructive results in all areas of your life. Virtues are loving and unselfish in nature, and act naturally to produce a sense of harmony, pervading contentment, and happiness not only for ourselves, but for everyone involved. Virtues expand our awareness and increase our ability to both give and receive higher forms of knowledge and unconditional love.

Anytime we’re creating, we have to start with a vision of the desired outcome as an experience, so we know what the process for creating it will be. Though your ultimate vision for your ideal self may take many steps to accomplish, it’s important that you work on only one step at a time, and don’t start the next step until that one is well established and a part of your natural way of being (built into your subconscious). One of the ways we set ourselves up for failure, is by trying to take on too many things at one time creating a feeling of being overwhelmed and therefore struggling, or by scattering our energy in too many directions by trying to do too much all at once. Every acquisition of a new quality requires complete concentration and devoted practice over an extended period of time in order to “build it into the muscle”, where it becomes a natural way of being that no longer requires conscious effort.

Even with concentrated effort and a strong sense of discipline to stay with a task over a long period of time, you’ll relapse many times throughout the day by falling into habitual patterns that are well established and forgetting what you’re doing. This is natural, and when you realize you’re off task, simply re-center (remind) yourself in your desired intention, refocus your mind and adjust your mood, and continuing practicing. Repeatedly bring yourself back anytime you forget, and continue practicing without getting discouraged, and the new quality and behavior associated with it will begin taking hold, and you’ll be able to stay focused for longer and longer periods of time. All forms of intentional creation come from your ability to concentrate your efforts and stay focused on what it is you’re creating.

The approximate time for breaking one habit by replacing it with another, is forty days, or six weeks. The approximate time for simply establishing a new habit that doesn’t involve breaking an old one, is three weeks (half the time), or twenty one days, and it’s fully established (permanent) in six weeks. This gives you an idea of the amount of time you should plan on dedicating to each step of your development. You’ll also develop the ability to concentrate and stay with something for long periods of time, commit to devotional practice, and develop the patience it takes to accomplish a major feat (which a behavioral change is). You can consider your goal accomplished when you become that way automatically, and no longer have to think about it, or put conscious effort into it. All behaviors are “learned and conditioned” (trained), and likewise, can be unlearned and reconditioned. Our initial development was a predominately unconscious process, and all we’re doing here is making it a fully conscious process undertaken with a deliberate and determined attitude.

Our state-of-mind (quality of consciousness) is created by 3 aspects that are always in-sync with each other. These three aspects are what we focus on, what we tell ourselves about what we’re focused on that makes it mean something, and what we’re doing with our body. Our physiology is a direct reflection of our state-of-mind as our quality of consciousness that we’re employing at any given moment. If you can’t control your attention and thoughts, you can learn to control your body and how you’re behaving instead. We can employ a quality by modeling the behavior associated with it. Just like when we were kids, we play acted and pretended to be “like” our favorite characters and role models, we utilize the same techniques as adults. Pretend like you’re an actor acting out a certain character within a specific role.

If you want to develop confidence, for example, find someone that you consider confident and watch and study them. What is it that they’re doing that makes them “confident”? What’s their posture like, their attitude, body language, and how do they hold themselves? How do they speak, the tone, speed or rate, and emphasis? What are their facial expressions, demeanor, and idiosyncrasies? How do they dress? Study them, elicit their strategy, and then imitate the same way of being. Practice until you feel comfortable with it and incorporate your own style into it. Then practice being that way in general. Practice it as a normal way of being in all areas of your life. Notice that when you change how you’re acting, that you experience yourself in new ways. You feel different and sense yourself in a different way. Step into the feeling and embrace it with a new level of awareness. Allow yourself to kind of fall in love with how your feeling and being. Get off on it. Allow yourself to feel empowered by it, not in an arrogant or conceited way, but in an expressive, uninhibited and expansive way. Notice the freedom it allows and new levels of self-expression that are very powerful in terms of not only the freedom you feel, but the response you get from others who are forming an impression of you and admiring you. Be an actor in your own life, and take it all in. After a while, it’ll become natural and normal.

In order to acquire a quality by practicing and becoming it in mind and body, we have to have a good enough idea of what that quality is like in terms of attitude, emotions, demeanor and behaviors so that we can practice being that way by imitating it. Don’t worry that you’ll be “copying somebody”, because the process of imitating is what allows your own style to come forth, you simply need a starting point as a kind of template for producing it. Once you begin practicing, you’ll come into yourself in terms of being that way, and you’ll produce your own unique version of it. We need a channel of expression in order to “find” our own style for doing things. Your style for “being” exists within you like your fingerprint or signature, and simply needs to be awakened and given a channel for outward expression, until you start feeling comfortable and natural being that way. Keep in mind, you always feel a bit (or a lot) awkward and out of place, or “not yourself” at first, because it’s new and you’re not used to it. But just keep practicing as if you’re an actor in the “play of your life”, and after awhile it’ll start feeling completely natural to you, and you’ll begin automatically “feeling” that way, and perceiving life from that perspective. All it takes is dedicated practice and a spirit of renewal and self-realization by bringing forth parts of yourself that up to this point in your life, you’ve never really experienced before!

Dr. Linda is an expert in Spiritual Sciences and scholar of Hermetic Sciences and Ancient Wisdom traditions. She’s a professional educator and trainer for all areas of personal transformation, self-creation, mind development, and soul/spiritual evolution. She practices Integrative Medicine with a special emphasis on Psychology and Creative therapies. She conducts ongoing classes, Playshops, and Adventure Seminars, and is available for private or group training, mentoring, and speaking engagements.

# Life Crisis and the Nature of Personal Transformation

Many people turn away from or choose to not undergo the process of personal transformation required as soul growth through the means of birthing your higher-self through the use of choice and will within the everyday life of their normal consciousness. This is because it can be very disruptive and completely change the way you live your life, and “who” you are in the most essential sense. It takes a great deal of courage and mortal fortitude to brave and endure the process of the life you’ve built your identity around completely falling apart, crumbling beyond repair, and leaving your life, often giving you a painfully deepened sense of isolation and abandonment. While being completely alone in life can be one of the most painful experiences there are, leaving us constantly searching for meaning and purpose, being devastated financially, raped of your dignity, and outcast by those you once loved and thought loved you, brings about a new kind of pain that can bring you to the brink of total destruction. Because of this tendency to resist it at all costs and not being willing to consciously choose it, many who have made a soul agreement to undergo the transformative process where you enter it consciously and are aware of it, think about it, have premonitions of it coming, experience it instead as happening “to you” without choice or control. We often even initiate it through unconscious behaviors and emotional turmoil that are sabotaging and actually work to set the inevitable into motion. What we deem self-sabotaging behaviors may not be a bad thing, but actually a necessary part of our evolution where we unconsciously act out in situations we’re not happy in and often feel tormented by in the essential sense, even though they might appear quite fortunate and comfortable on the surface.

For those destined for complete transformation of the body and souls as a form of spiritual mission or dedication that comes as a turbulent inner struggle and decisions, chances are we undergo many forms of transformation as challenges and hardships that seem to be cast upon us without choice or desire, that we find the strength to manage in some way, that ends up growing and developing us, while perhaps drastically changing the direction of our life because of them, that seem to be preparing us through practice for the larger transformations that to come at a mature age where their effects are more drastic and prominent and the patterns of our life more set and fixed. Yet, even in these smaller, life-altering events, we may find, looking back on them, that we participated in bringing them about through some form of inner struggle that they seemed to resolve, or lead us into because we knew we had no choice morally.

These experiences started for me early in life, and so I became accustomed to them in a strange sort of way where drastic and constant changes became the norm. My childhood was very unstable, and I ended up running away and living on the streets, not because I was abandoned, but because I chose to. I wasn’t willing to compromise myself or allow the events to take place that were inevitable if I continued living at home, so I left because I felt safer on the streets than I did at home. At least on the streets I had some control, and could, through my own decisions and actions keep myself safe. Though this led into a traumatic time in my life of tremendous hardship and uncertainty, I also grew in strength and confidence, and was able to set up a life where I not only took care of myself, but continued to go to school, be placed in advanced learning, and graduated high school two years early with a college scholarship. All without nobody realizing I wasn’t living at home.

Later, when my son was born, he had health problems that I had to go through extreme lengths to get diagnosed, because even though I was intuitively picking up on it, the symptoms were common and subtle, and no one believed me. When I finally got help with a diagnosis, it was within hours of saving his life, and brought on a year long process of multiple surgeries, living in the hospital and out of my car, being ruined financially and devastated emotionally. I had to draw on a part of myself I didn’t know was there, and came into the full realization of a higher consciousness that I could access at will, and use to make calculated decisions and perform operations that would later be seen as miraculous. I came to know the meaning of unconditional love, total surrender to the creative process of life, and the incredibly powerful sense of myself that came from realizing that I would die for my son. This experience changed me at the deepest level of my sense of self, matured me exponentially, and gave me incredible moral strength and complete confidence in my intuition and my ability to handle anything. Through this experience I built a working relationship with the higher power that’s active in my life and available as willpower.

Years later, after going through financial bankruptcy, and struggling to keep a failed marriage together, flirting with drug addiction and encountering the darker side of seemingly normal things, after a series of premonitions, my husband was abruptly killed by being stabbed through the heart while in the stall of a bathroom, set my life into a tailspin prolonged by a year long trial in our home town of 2,400 people. Needless to say, it was the event of the decade, and got constant media attention. His death brought me face to face with the reality of what happens when and after we die. I developed an insatiable sense of wonder about our true spiritual nature, the meaning of life, and how all things serve a purpose in terms of the experiences and life lessons they set in motion, in which we are lured and drawn deeply into as the “point of no return”. This event and everything that ensued from it completely changed the direct of my life, set into motion a whole new set of questions and a deep desire to know the true nature that underlies and orchestrates things. At 30 years of age, my true spiritual quest into the unknown fully kicked into motion and changed the course of my life and how I looked at things.

Even though I continued to experience other events that continued morphing and changing the direction of my life, most seemed rather easy and void of real pain after this. As my path steadily led into a serious and devoted study of spiritual sciences, a decision to return to college, and when approaching my thesis for my Ph.D. in Spiritual Sciences, both of which centered around personal transformation, I began realizing what I called my “soul agreement” in regards to mastering this process, not by having it seemingly thrust upon me through what seemed like tragedy and trauma in which I had no control or conscious say so in, but as a willed experience that I cooperatively engaged in.

As I lost just about everything and who I was by way of what I owned, the job I had, the amount of money I made, and the image I presented and experienced myself through, my relationship with everything else changed also, and the ones based on the false image I had so successfully created and the confident dynamic persona I had perfected, changed, revealing an entirely different side to things, and everything I had become accustomed to and dependent on “left” my life. I came to know extreme forms of humility, abandonment, surrender, sacrifice, unbearable insecurity, and the depths of anguish encountered at the bottom of what seems like the bottomless pit of the dark night of the soul, when we find ourselves in a place the eye does not see, where we can no longer grab onto things, ideas, roles, people, situations, relationships, or jobs to pull ourselves up with and provide us with some form of hope and relief, we come into another realization, one that at first is foreign to us and even awkward to contemplate, we begin noticing and sensing a feeling deep within us that seems to be reaching out to us, longing for our desolate gaze, which the moment we become truly aware of it, begins taking hold and growing in us, while everything else fades away. As it grows inside of us it begins fortifying us with a new sense of life and energy. As we begin drawing on it out of the depths of despair, we’re filled with a renewed sense of hope and moral comfort. The more attention we give it, the more it swells inside of us, softly seducing us with its soft penetrating glow.

In this final moment of drawing on our inner strength, free from the confines and affects of the material world, we begin realizing our true identity as being in this world, but not of it. We surrender and give ourselves over, not to an external force, but to an internal one. One that can’t be lost or taken away. One that resides in us eternally and unconditionally. One that’s always been there and never leaves us, but requires our recognition and invitation. Once this happens, and we begin settling into a new kind of spiritual wealth, where simply lose interest in material wealth, no longer crave excess or nonessential ideas and things, and begin experiencing a newfound freedom born out of a lack of attachment to material things, and we begin working consciously to simplify and streamline our life. We lose selfish interests and turn our attention instead to helping others by contributing in a more meaningful way to benefit others on their own spiritual journeys into self-healing through self-recognition and realization.

We come to realize that forgiveness itself is an illusion, because those we imagine have betrayed or forsaken us, honestly don’t know what they do because they’re caught up in the illusion of their life and feel warranted and justified in their actions. No one can attack or hurt us unless we’re invested in the same illusion and therefore deem ourselves hurtable or attackable. When we separate ourselves from the illusion we normally share with others as a primordial form of ignorance, we no longer react to them. They can no longer cause a reaction in us in response to them. They exercise no control over us. They no longer affect us. We no longer share the same reality that’s producing their behavior towards us. We realize with great clarity and absolution, that their perception and behavior has nothing to do with us, and is simply an expression of who they are and the reality they live in as a projection of their own mind. Through this realization we come to realize there’s nothing to forgive, because they don’t have the ability to harm us. They have inflicted no pain on us, and we have not suffered at their mercy. We no longer share the error of their thinking, and so it doesn’t become a part of our experience.

When we shift our very perception of life, what things mean, how they appear to us, the true nature of reality and what’s happening in the true underlying sense, we move to a higher vibration and cultivate a different kind of awareness that no longer relates or partakes in the lower levels of consciousness still shrouded with the veil of unconsciousness. Once you know, you can’t not know. Once you see and realize the true reality of the material realm that disguises ideas with outer appearances, you don’t even notice the outer appearance anymore, but experience directly their inner nature instead. You begin seeing people as they are being distinctly separate from you, and therefore unable to affect you because you’ve changed how you enter into relationship with them, and everything else changes accordingly. People who used to upset you, cause you to feel anger and hatred or disgust, you now view with compassion because you realize fully that they are consumed with ignorance and basically unaware of what they’re actually doing, and more importantly, because their consciousness no longer resonates with yours, and therefore doesn’t enter into you and produce an effect in you . . . so they can’t hurt you or even disturb your internal peace of mind, because they exist outside of and apart from you.

When we’re no longer affected by the emotions and mental projections of others, not prone to addictions and cravings that command our will, and we become passionless in terms of worldly pleasures and success, we detach from material possessions as the means of providing us with our identity and sense of self. We detach from external outcomes, and maintain our sense of self from an internal source that’s eternally peaceful and only affected by the consciousness that inhabits the internal plane, which is benevolent and selfless. Our journey into our true nature is a transformation that moves us from being determined by the material world which is built out of a shared illusion, to being determined by the power of our own soul’s consciousness and true connection to the spiritual realm of immortality, eternal strength, and all pervading peace and compassion for those still lost in the illusions of their own making, without ever even realizing it.