Energy Medicine – Transmutation and the Law of Sympathies

Energy Medicine – Transmutation and the Law of Sympathies

        All living beings exist at multiple levels simultaneously and have both a physical and energetic body. The energetic body, which is also referred to as the etheric double or vital body, is comprised of subtle energy and is what serves to transform a field of organized information (mind) into a material being through a form of self-organizing mechanism that’s inherent in the life-force energy. All energy as vibration contains a pattern and a self-organizing feature that acts to shape essence into a specialized pattern as a biological life-form. This life-force energy causes a single cell encoded with genetic information to reproduce and differentiate to form every aspect and function of a larger, physical body. It’s the spiritual (invisible) forces that activate and animate all physical beings not only producing an analogous form, but also the consciousness and personality of that form as its “life”. It’s the subtle intelligence that gives life to all living beings by holding trillions of cells (single replicas) together as a unified and self-governed field of information.

         The most fundamental composition of what we call matter is light. Light exists primarily in an invisible state and only becomes illuminated and therefore visible to the physical senses when it’s reflecting off of matter of some kind. A blue sky appears illuminated and therefore “light” by reflecting off of dust particles and humidity in the atmosphere (astral plane). So what we commonly think of as illumination (light) is really a projection and reflection of a dark field of energy. Energy as light is invisible to the physical senses whenever it’s not being reflected off of something. Light itself exists in seven basic aspects as a spectrum of colors (values) that represent what frequency it vibrates at, moving from a slower, lower waveform to a faster, and higher one. Each color within the spectrum contains different energetic states as qualities of consciousness. The natural color of something gives us insight into what frequency it’s vibrating at and what type of qualities it possesses as a result.

          Whatever properties a material object contains reveals to us what aspect of light is either absorbed and remains invisible to the senses, and what’s not. The vibratory frequency of the internal energies is revealed by what it “resonates” with, which it acts to absorb and integrate. Whatever isn’t absorbed is reflected instead and forms the outer appearance that an object takes on. For example, a leaf is green, not because it chemically produces the green ray of the light spectrum, but because it’s the only hue of the spectrum it doesn’t act to “absorb”, and reflects it instead. So what we think of as the inner constitution of something is comprised of the qualities and potencies it naturally acts to absorb and assimilate from the atmosphere around it, which is what forms its energetic state, and is only evident in its outer appearance by what it’s “not”. The outer appearance is produced by the complementary opposite of its inner state. For example, green is the complementary opposite of red. So an outer color of green tells us that it acts to absorb the red frequencies of the spectrum.

       The internal nature of light is actually comprised of all the colors of the spectrum as the essence or inner nature of light which is why it doesn’t reflect any colors and appears invisible. Colors, or “rays” as they’re commonly called, exist as qualities that each has a unique, yet complementary vibration within the same scale as a range of vibration. Light exists as seven basic colors, in the same way that seven notes makes up a musical scale as an octave. The eighth one is formed as the summation of all seven as an accumulation that takes it to the next higher scale as the base note that begins that scale. The form light takes on as a physical object is based on its rate (speed of movement as a wave-form) and mode (quality and function) of vibration, and is referred to as its essence, which contains a certain type and kind of pattern. A pattern acts as a template for organizing the informational structure of a material form, giving it certain characteristics.

       Light, like all energy of the universe, exists simultaneously in a dual state as both a wave and field of information, and as a particle or actual physical form that’s constructed out of the same type of pattern on different scales and levels of creation, and forms both our internal state and our outer reality as direct reflections and correspondences to each other. The inner, invisible light and the outer visible world exist in polarity to each other as complementary opposites of the same idea. The outer manifestation of the material body is produced and maintained by the inner essence and state of consciousness as its vibratory frequency. This is a universal law that governs all of life, and is always true. No exceptions. Energy and matter are different densities as complementary opposites of the same thing and exist in an intimate relationship with each other.

The Nature of Subtle Energy

       What we call subtle energy is a fluid-like light as the essence of Life itself. Its essence if formed out of “qualities of consciousness” that form our inner, spiritual nature and is what determines our physical characteristics as a dynamic interrelated pattern that forms how we function and what manifests as a result. Essence is comprised of different energies that makeup the personal consciousness and existence of something. It’s a pattern as an energetic formula of concentrated qualities and forces that make up its constitution as a “Soul”. As humans we’re unique and stand apart from the rest of life on Earth because we’re of a threefold nature and have a lower, animal soul (etheric double) needed to construct a physical body, a middle or human Soul (specialized as a unique pattern of qualities), and the higher Soul as the “I” which makes us unique individuals in our own right. These three aspects of our being correlate with the physical, etheric, astral, emotional, mental, and causal fields of all living entities.

       The Higher Soul is the Quintessence, which is comprised of archetypes that serve as ideas in their pure or ideal state as virtues, and are used to grow and transform material bodies by altering their essence as both active and passive properties. This is the archetypal plane of Higher, perfected consciousness used as the means for transforming ourselves while in a physical body by embodying qualities as an idea that we then perfect in us as an “ideal”. By using the archetypes of the higher, spiritual plane to create ourselves, we form ourselves to be of an ideal, virtuous and god-like nature. We transform ourselves by taking on qualities that alter our character and how we function in the most natural sense.

The Law of Polarity and the Nature of Absorption and Assimilation

       Matter exists in a primary state as the passive and receptive component of consciousness, and only acts to absorb energies around it that are of the same essence and nature as the soul inhabiting it. It’s formed and reformed by whatever it resonates with, attracts, absorbs and assimilates that acts to modify its essence through the type, degree, and measure of the energies it blends with. The state and condition of the body determines what type of energies it acts to naturally absorb from the space around it. This means that whatever state of mind as a quality of consciousness we exist in as our inner nature and character, determines what we’re susceptible to, and what we’re not. Absorption only takes place through sympathetic induction of “like energies”. We resonate with everything around us that’s of a similar nature and essence as we are. As we draw in energies of a similar vibration, they produce an affect in us, altering our vibration (soul composition), and we begin vibrating in harmony with them. Our vibration is altered through the acquisition, integration, and accumulation of similar energies where we become “like them” in nature. This is the most fundamental form of evolution that all beings undergo that keeps them in-sync with their environment.

       All life as we know it is produced by an idea as a specialized pattern that has certain qualities that gives it the characteristics and produces all of its natural behaviors and determines how it functions instinctively. Our specialized pattern as our essence forms a dynamic chain of associations as correspondences that produce our disposition, temperament, attitude, perspective, thoughts, emotions, and actions. All behavior as activity is motivated and produced by subtle energy. The quality of energy determines the corresponding behaviors and what we “cause and create” as a result. Every action as a cause sets into motion a process that produces an effect as an equivalent reaction. It produces a ripple effect that creates both smaller and greater patterns of the same nature, as well as immediate and long-term effects. If an action is being continuously repeated and maintained in a consistent fashion, we strengthen and develop the energies as the type of consciousness that’s motivating it.

       Life-force energies form the full spectrum of light as the essence of all Life. It’s the qualities that form the inner nature of all living beings in different proportions and degrees. This same principle is what acts to form the universal nutriment that sustains all of life. This is the power by which we perceive the true qualities of things, where we take in an idea, and as a means of adapting it to our mental model in order to make sense of it, we assimilate it into an existing body of ideas that we already possess, altering it to “be like us” in order to perceive it in a fully conscious way. In order to perceive the soul of a being as its “life”, we have to intuitively perceive the qualities inherent in it, rather than its outer appearance, which is simply a reflection of light. As we begin resonating with the inner qualities of a thing, we form sympathy with it and as a result absorb the same qualities, activating them within us, modifying our own energetic structure to be of a similar nature.

Relationship and the Process of Transformation

       All things that are already manifest only change their inner nature by forming relationships as new combinations of qualities. By changing the chemistry of an energetic formula, we create new patterns. These patterns can appear balanced or unbalanced based on the degree and proportion or intensity of each quality forming it. All mutations come as new combinations formed by whatever relationships are formed and maintained over a period of time. We don’t transform by attempting to alter the energy (quality) itself, because energy exists as pure essence that can’t be altered or changed, and can only be used to form a new combination of energies that serve to transform and modify a preexisting essence as a complex.

       All energies have a purpose and focus and are of a certain type, kind, and concentration. These energies aren’t good or bad in and of themselves, but instead are used in either appropriate or inappropriate ways, making them constructive or destructive. An imbalance, caused by an excessive amount of a certain type of energy causes a manifestation that becomes detrimental and ultimately destructive to the entire system (mentally, morally, emotionally, and physically), causing what ultimately results in some kind of illness or disease. The natural means for transforming (healing) the manifestation is to combine new qualities of consciousness that serve to bring it back into a balanced and harmonious state, or to recognize what quality is being used inappropriately and finding a more congruent means of expression.

       Our subtle body as our etheric/vital body, vibrates at a specific frequency as a “range of vibration” or scale that’s constantly resonating and forming sympathy with all similar energies in the environment around us. We absorb these energies with our etheric organs as the electromagnetic fields of the chakra system, that in turn serve to operate the Endocrine system of the physical body as the means of interpreting and distributing energies to their corresponding organs throughout the body. Chakras are magnetic fields as spiritual centers that acquire, integrate, accumulate and distribute energy, altering the state of the body to match it as a correspondence. Embodying a feeling of love creates a sensation of beauty as a state of mind that systematically infuses the entire body with that same quality by producing a chain of association as the electric signals absorbed by the magnetic centers that send out corresponding messengers (hormones) altering the chemistry of the body to match it. When these mental states are expressed consistently over an extended period of time, producing an emphasis, they act systematically to regenerate the molecular structure of the body to be of the same state or complementary nature.

The Astral Plane of Light

        All living beings derive their Life-giving energies from two primary sources in Nature – from the inner and outer atmosphere. What we call the atmosphere as a field of light we’re submerged in, can also be thought of as the Astral Plane of Light (sun-star light) which is a unified field of ideas (information) as “thought-forms” that acts as the nutriment agent used by the human soul to create and sustain itself as a certain “type and kind of person”. What we perceive as the atmosphere surrounding us exists as the etheric body or soul of the Earth as an invisible field of substances. We draw these nutriments as elements into our etheric body (inwardly) where they act to change our energetic composition. The intangible atmosphere as the empty space around us is the source of all Life upon the Earth and throughout the universe that we all share in common and use both unconsciously and consciously as the means of shaping ourselves.

       This invisible field is the root of intelligence and emotions and the source of all archetypes (patterns) by which all species are differentiated and formed into specialized patterns with unique combinations of universal qualities. Various kinds of energy can only be released and utilized through beings whose natures are sympathetic and where polarities exist. Humans are unique from all other forms of life on Earth because they’re capable of modifying their own nature and can attract countless forms of energy as a result. If we don’t use our higher capacities of self-realization, choice and will to intentionally develop in us the energies that are constructive in nature, then we exist on the same non-intelligent plane as the animals and only act to attract more of what originated through our genetic make-up and formative conditioning. By remaining in an unconscious state we simply attract and create out of the same type of ideas and patterns over and over without knowing any better or realizing that we have the power to change it. We only respond to those energies we can capture and hold by the polarities we’ve strengthened and developed in ourselves through thoughtful and skillful means.

       There are many different kinds of polarities we can establish that produce a natural chain of association that affects the mineral, nutritional, astral, physical, emotional, mental and spiritual planes producing a similar effect in each one. An individual can only energize an emotional power that’s consistent with their own nature. If we exist in a primary hateful state, we can’t act as the vehicle for forming an archetype of love. We polarize ourselves to hate instead as a kind of gravitational field or affinity that acts to tune into, absorb, assimilate, and enhance and strengthen more feelings of hate. We form perceptions that are hateful and attract people and situations that cause us to feel and express more hatred. All of our experiences come as a result of what qualities we embody as our state of mind and use to create our perceptions and actions as an expression of that quality that reproduce and amplify it, giving us more of it. Like always produces more of what’s like itself. The outer reality always corresponds to the inner reality.

Polarity of Qualities

       All qualities exist in a polar state of complementary opposites necessary to sustain and transform each other. These are expressed in spiritual texts as virtues and their opposing vices. Love and hate exist as what seems like opposites, but are identical as a pattern or idea, and are only separated by degrees on a form of sliding scale. One exists as the extreme of the other and is necessary in order to create the other based on how they contrast and relate to each other. We can only “know something” as a specific quality by contrasting and comparing it to what it’s not. Love has no meaning unless we compare it to hate, just as we can only know cold as it compares to hot. The balanced point between the extremes of love and hate is like, just as the balance point between cold and hot is warm. Opposing aspects of the same idea, separated only by degrees that move them gradually from one extreme to another, and balance each other at a neutral center point. A practical knowledge of the Law of Polarity provides us with the method and means of transforming ourselves from one state to another.   

       Therapy in the most basic sense comes by identifying imbalances and setting up the necessary poles for the reception and distribution of energies in order to bring it back into balance. By removing all impediments to its circulation, and opposing two energies, one to another, we act to neutralize that which is no longer useful or necessary in creating well-being. Food isn’t merely a physical substance with nutritional value in terms of vitamins and minerals, but is the medium for the transmission of Life-force energy. It’s the energetic nature of the food that nourishes us energetically. The nature of the plant determines what it takes up and utilizes from the soil to produce its essence, and likewise, it’s the nature of a person that determines what they uptake from the universal nutriment. This is why when several people are exposed to the same contaminant only certain people get sick from it, because it’s all based on the energetic condition of their mind and body and what they act to absorb or repel.

       All things grow according to their kind and constitution. We have the ability to change certain parts of ourselves by intentionally developing our own nature. We can change bad habits, negative attitudes, and false beliefs which serve to draw us to destructive energy and produce ill health and a general sense of unhappiness. Each destructive thought kills nutritive forces within us, whereas constructive thought brings a renewed sense of life to our thinking. In the ultimate sense we’re all responsible for how we use and cultivate energy to create ourselves and our health. We’re the only ones that act to determine what energies we indulge in, feed on, and use to create ourselves, and which ones we don’t. In this sense all healing is “self-healing”. Only we have the power and conscious ability to heal ourselves by modifying our own energetic makeup.

Sympathies – Affinity as Association

       Whatever exists in the atmosphere around us that’s of a similar nature to us, we form an affinity with as a kind of gravitational field. Through energetic sympathy we form an intimate relationship where whatever affects one affects the other in a similar manner. They form a corresponding nature in qualities, properties, proportions, and harmonic elements. The astral plane is the plane of the Soul and is the medium capable of communicating and transmitting vibration through a form of telepathy. Whatever state we maintain on a regular basis we act as a tuner, transmitter, and receiver for the same type of energy within the Astral Plane of the material world.

Magnetism and Attraction

       Each person tunes themselves to a particular frequency by the mental state and qualities they employ and strengthen by expressing them. Whatever qualities as a state of mind we employ magnetizes us to the same type of forces and circumstances all around us and we are drawn to them through a form of attraction. We only act to produce whatever it is we “earn” and therefore “deserve” through our mental state and conduct. When we polarize ourselves to a pattern that’s self-fulfilling in nature, we establish a pole between us and the corresponding energy and idea in everyone and everything else around us. We draw on the energetic essences in Nature that are analogous to our mental state and necessary in order to produce a reality that matches and is the expression of our state. We draw on the archetypal ideas from the higher plane of perfect ideals as metaphors, in order to produce a reality out of it as a means of creating ourselves to be like it. We draw on essences in order to produce a unique essence as a new combination that tunes us to a certain type of reality.

       Sympathetic attraction can be thought of as a gravitational field of magnetic forces, where one seeks out another of the same nature for the purpose of companionship and in order to exchange similar ideas. Whatever we “blend with” in nature, we form an intimate understanding of as a relationship that’s a form of energetic marriage as a blood relative. As we absorb it energetically it acts to alter our blood chemistry to be of the same nature. In the law governing magnetic forces, all greater forces attract lesser forces of the same kind. Whoever we form a close relationship with influences us to become more like them, and we simultaneously influence them to become more like us through shared qualities that act to stimulate each other.

The Healing Art of Theurgy – Work of the Gods

       The most basic form of Energy Medicine comes as spiritual growth and healing that transforms us from one state to another, and is conducted through a practice known as Theurgy. The term Theurgy means the “art of the gods”, and a Theurgist is someone who works to heal and transform by utilizing the natural forces of the higher, archetypal plane as the means of forming new combinations. One of the best ways to gain an understanding of the higher plane of archetypes is by studying the various mythology of the gods as “ideals” that demonstrate how certain qualities, characteristics, and actions work together harmoniously to produce certain types of reality as a certain kind of story. The archetypes of the Zodiac give us an in-depth description of the qualities and characteristics that we all share in common as aspects of our inner nature in varying degrees, placements, and proportions, and how they ultimately manifest as our inner nature that simultaneously produces our physical state and sense of well-being.

       Archetypes as gods are always described by using a dynamic series of correspondences that pertain to their essence as numbers, letters, sounds, colors, gemstones, planetary influences, metals, elements, emotions, mental states, qualities and characteristics, and what part of the body they rule. This system of correspondences provides us with a formula and method for transforming every aspect of our being in a unified and harmonious manner where we’re working intelligently by starting at the level of cause in order to produce a calculated and specific effect. Every item listed as a correspondence is of the same vibratory essence and also acts as a magnet for drawing in the same kind of energies.

         An archetype as a god gives us a complete idea as a pattern comprised of complementary correspondences, which, when utilized as a symbol polarizes us to the same qualities and essences. By combining and blending essences together we either increase or decrease the sum of our essence. Essences as qualities are eternal and remain the same. We don’t ever change the individual essences themselves, but create unique ones instead by forming new combinations. The human Soul is a part of the higher archetypal kingdom, and creates itself as an individual and unique archetype by utilizing archetypal essences and ideas in order to form new patterns. We change the overall potency and properties of already accumulated essences by forming them into new combinations of qualities as a “way of being”. As we embody certain qualities and utilize other corresponding ideas, we tune ourselves to the vibratory frequency of that idea. Resonance, sympathetic induction, and coherence are the primary law governing the spiritual world of pure energy. Whatever we become one with as a quality of consciousness, we act as a magnet for attracting more of the same type of energy, while simultaneously serving to magnify and multiply it.

Antipathy

       The recognition of sympathy immediately implies antipathy – which are the complementary electromagnetic forces inherent in every single aspect of both the visible and invisible world as feminine (magnetic) and masculine (electric) forces that act simultaneously to produce a matrix of stress lines that pulls together as it pushes apart. When we attempt to reconcile opposing electric and magnetic forces they form into a spiraling motion that creates a stable energetic system. One attracts (draws in) while the other simultaneously repels (projects outward).

       We can think of this metaphorically as sympathy working through and inherent understanding as relating, and antipathy through misunderstanding that contrasts. Whatever is of a different nature than we are and expresses in a different way from us, we can’t understand and therefore feel indifferent to. Wisdom, like love, is a uniting force that acts to bring all things together through an understanding of the soul with its source, and ignorance or a lack of understanding is a separating force that acts as a kind of filtering system. Virtues bring us into contact with all that’s virtuous, connecting us to our true source. Vices are destructive tendencies that draw to us destructive energies, people, and situations. All growth and development comes by connecting with and drawing in energies that are similar to itself, yet unique in proportions and intensities, for the continuous nutriment that serves to sustain and expand its own existence.

Motivation and Willful Creation

      Whatever is motivating and forming the basis for our desire and intention is the most powerful factor in attraction and is what determines the nature as an outcome of any decisive act. Motivation is what forms our attitude and how we approach an idea as an outcome we’re trying to willfully produce. Attraction is always due to unconscious or conscious use of will based on the desire for a certain type of experience as a kind of “wish fulfillment”. The same actions taken with a different motive will produce different results. Whatever is motivating our decision is our reason for taking the action, and is what determines the nature of the outcome. It’s not the action itself that produces the outcome, but the desire that’s motivating the action. It’s not so much what we do, but rather how we do it. The same action taken with a different attitude will produce different results. We should make it a practice to carefully examine our motives in any situation in order to fully understand what results from them, otherwise confusion and disillusionment may occur.

       A resentful person creates a sympathetic relationship with those who are resentful, and attract the circumstances and situations that are ideal for causing more resentment. All energies as complexes are self-fulfilling, and act to feed and sustain them. Emotions are not only readily available and easily accessed, but are also accumulative. Our inner life sets up the polarity that determines our outer life. When personal resources are low, we lack self-control, and our spiritual values are inadequate or nonexistent, we may feel as if we have no means of effectively combating the destructive emotions that are brewing within us. We act on ourselves to align ourselves with an infinite storehouse of whatever quality we employ as our state-of-mind, and as a result, cut ourselves off from contrary sympathetic resources. By feeling resentful we enter into a state of antipathy with love and appreciation as the opposing quality, and are never able to resolve our constant feelings of resentment, and act instead to multiply and intensify them.

       All negative emotions are destructive and all positive ones are constructive. Destructive energy is dispersing and not only antipathetically opposed to its opposite, positive emotion, but also towards itself, and only act to cause inner conflict as a fundamental state of confusion. A person who is consumed with negative emotions suffers constant inner turmoil because their vices are also incompatible with each other and act against each other in an antagonistic and destructive way. Wherever there’s internal conflict, there are also correlating health problems. Whenever there’s psychic confusion there’s tension, and tension causes an obstruction in the flow of energy throughout the body.

       Whenever we manifest an illness or malady of some kind, we can use a system of correspondences as the means of knowing where our imbalances are taking place by the organ and part of the body they occur in. We can find the archetype that governs that part of the body, what qualities and mental states it represents, and use this information to intentionally employ the appropriate state, emotion, behaviors and way of being as the means of introducing the complementary energy in order to bring our system back into balance. We can note the herbs, minerals, colors, and personality of the archetype as a means of changing lifestyle issues associated with it. We can see what the vice or negative character trait is that’s also associated with it, and use the virtue as a means of transforming it. We can use the system of correspondences as the means of working on ourselves from the level of “cause” (reason, mental, emotional, etheric, and physical) to transform what manifests as an “effect”. All manifestation originates as a mental and emotional state which is what forms the etheric body. All changes occur first in the subtle body which is created by the relationship and activities of all three aspects of the mind (conscious, self-conscious, and subconscious) working in harmony with each other.   

Dr. Linda Gadbois     

Seeing Challenges as Opportunities for Personal Growth

       As a kid growing up, I was born into a very challenging life. My mom was a single mother with five kids, one of which was mentally retarded, and we were on welfare. We lived in a small two bedroom house in the worst neighborhood in town, and experienced many forms of abuse while being neglected and left unsupervised for days at a time. My older brothers ended up going to detention homes, my younger sister passed away at 9, and I ended up running away in order to avoid what would happen to me if I stayed home. I became quite accustomed to living on the streets and fending for myself by the time I was 12.

       Throughout my teenage years I was taken away from my mother due to abuse and put into the court system where I went in and out of foster care that was almost worse than living at home, so I ended up running away from those also. Though all of this I continued to go to school while living in a fort I built in the park. In spite of all of this I did very well in school where I was put into accelerated learning classes and graduated high school at 16 with a scholarship to college. I filed for emancipation at 16, got a job and started college, where I graduated at 18. I experienced unimaginable hardship while trying to survive and protect myself, and was hospitalized on two occasions for malnutrition. As I continued through life I seemed to be thrust from one challenging situation to another, enduring many hardships, traumas, tragedies, and crisis, which are still continuing to this day.

        When I was young I remember feeling as if I was always being punished for something, but I couldn’t figure out what I had done to deserve to be punished because I was a really good kid (seriously). I was the only “white sheep” in my family, always helped out, and never got in trouble (except for fighting and running away). As I got older I began to look at things from a much deeper perspective of wanting to penetrate the secrets of life, which I found to be very mysterious.

       One thing that I recognized about myself at a fairly young age was that I was a very “strong” individual with a will that could push through what seemed like unbearable situations with a positive attitude, and I always seemed to have a clear perspective on what was happening forming realizations that led me to consistently make clear decisions about who I was and what I was going to do. I was never easily led, could care less about fitting in, and never had anyone to look to for guidance and help. Many of my decisions were quite difficult to make as I felt torn with a sense of love and loyalty to the very people I sought to get away from, and was terrified to leave and face being all alone and vulnerable to the unknowns of life. My first few years living on the street as a child were terrifying and very stressful, but after a while I got a system down that seemed to work pretty well.

       As a young adult, having gone through a problematic pregnancy my son was born with serious medical problems that required me to persist in trying to get him diagnosed to a point where they thought I was suffering from some kind of “postnatal depression and hysteria”. He was finally diagnosed in just enough time to save him, and I underwent a year of repeated hospitalization and several major surgeries, while also being told at one point that he was dying, where I decided to take him home, and administered the care that caused him to fully recover and begin thriving again.

       During this time my entire life fell apart and I think I may have had what seemed like several nervous breakdowns in trying to deal with it all at once. One of these breakdowns (completely distraught) came as the result of having to go against the system and everything I was being told in order to save my son’s life, that resulted in having a direct encounter with what I came to recognize as my Higher Self as what intuitively “showed me what to do”. Yet in spite of it all I walked away from the situation a year later with a healthy and happy little boy. I lost everything I owned through the process and had to file bankruptcy the next year due to the astronomical medical bills. During this time I accessed a part of myself I didn’t even know existed, and it transformed my way of thinking and being in a way that began taking on a life of its own. I felt like I became a different person because of this experience. I was no longer afraid or unsure of myself and could see things with a great sense of clarity and confidence in myself.

           I then went through the lingering process of trying to revitalize a dead marriage, pursued what became a demanding career in order to take care of my son, became very independent, came face to face with drug addiction and trying to somehow manage what deteriorated into an abusive situation. Though I found this period of my life extremely challenging at times, I also started feeling very strong, mature, and capable and eventually felt unaffected by the situation I found myself in. I was no longer afraid and vulnerable, and instead felt grounded, calm and calculating, and able to manage even the most difficult situations with relative ease and psychological skill.

       Another breaking point came several years later when my husband tried to strangle me in the midst of a jealous rage, and I was finally able to make him leave by being willing to face the consequences of what I thought he might do to me. A few months after our separation he was stabbed through the heart while in a bathroom stall of a restaurant, and died four days later. I left the hospital and went directly to the police department where I was interrogated for several hours and given an idea of what charges were being filed and given the details on the nature of what happened. This was followed by a murder trial in our small town of 2,400 people (so it was the biggest thing that happened there in years) that lasted for 14 months, and I won’t even try to convey the insane experience this brought and what I came to realize about how our justice system works.

       As I was sitting quietly one day and reflecting back on things and wondering why “bad things” were always happening to me, no longer feeling punished but more confused and mystified . . . a voice inside of me said “think of it as training. How can you teach and help others through things if you don’t know how to make it through them yourself? See this as your education so you can fulfill your life’s purpose as a teacher.” This was profound because at this point in my life I had no idea I was going to end up teaching. That experience set a transformation into motion and I began taking a whole different attitude towards the seemingly tragic events of my life, and looked back on them with a new awareness around the reason for things.

       I realized that even as a child who was conditioned to a very dysfunctional way of living and dependent on a bizarre set of circumstances, that I was always aware of what “I couldn’t bring myself to do.” I wasn’t making clear decisions at first, but rather ones that came from feelings inside of me that realized I couldn’t be “that kind of person” or let “those kinds of things happen to me.” In every crisis I face as a major event of some kind I noticed that it brought out the worst in everyone involved, including me, and I got to see myself in a different light. I saw myself as reflecting the traits of those around me, and I didn’t like who I became. I then realized that in my worst moments as a child I was making the most important decisions of my life in terms of who I was going to be, and those decisions served to shape me as an adult and set my destiny in motion.

       As I saw the traits in the people around me and how they made me feel by what they were doing and how they were treating each other and me, I thought there’s no way in hell I’m ever going to be like that or act to make someone feel the way I’m feeling right now. I felt disgusted and extremely disappointed. I lived every moment never knowing when someone was going to be “set off” by something and take it out on me, or what kind of mood they were going to be in from one moment to the next. I was actively choosing, even as a child, who and how I was going to be because it wasn’t “in me” to do that. It wasn’t in my nature to be that way. I couldn’t even imagine myself participating in the insane activities going on all around me, and started going off and being by myself as a result.

       One of the things I began telling myself at a young age was that I felt like no one knew who I was because they were always judging me to be like my family, and I was nothing like them. In schools teachers would recognize my last name and knew who my brothers were, and would make off remarks and treated me as though I was going to be a problem to deal with. Every time I encountered a cop for some reason, they would ask me how my mom, dad, and brothers were doing. I was perceived as being a juvenile delinquent and possible trouble-maker or bad influence (many of my friends parents wouldn’t allow them to hang out with me), even though I was living on my own in the park while continuing to go to school and never got into any serious trouble with the law. The only illegal activity I was engaged in was what I needed to do in order to survive and protect myself, which I did.

       When I finally moved out of my home town and to a brand new community where no one knew me, I was going to work one day and a voice said to me . . . “okay Linda, you’re always going on about how people don’t know you for who you really are, well no one knows you here, so who are you going to be?” And I realized in that moment that no one would know anything about my past unless I told them. So I made it a point from that moment forward to never talk about my family, where I came from, or what I had been through, and took an attitude instead of “creating myself” as I really am.

       This not only put me in touch with myself in a new way and “who I am” as a conscious choice, but taught me to quit talking about my past and telling stories about “what happened to me”. As a result, I not only got to the point where I hardly ever thought about it anymore, and eventually started forgetting about a lot of things, but I also learned how to stay present in my life and consciously create myself in every moment to be the person I truly was inside. When people I had known for years finally started finding out about my upbringing and where I came from they were shocked. Most thought that I had come from a fairly well-to-do family, had a formal education, and didn’t have a problem in the world because I “seemed” so “well-balanced and confident.” Of course this was also the community where my son was born and my husband was killed, so it set a whole new type of reality into motion that brought with it a whole new set of challenges and obstacles to be overcome and resolved to a favorable end.

       Every time I hit a point of mental and emotional collapse, where I felt like giving up because I didn’t think I had the strength or know-how to make it through my situation and I felt completely alone in life, I realized that I didn’t know how to give up. What would it mean to give up? How would I live with myself knowing I gave up? What do you actually do when you give up? And after a period of severe stress and not knowing what to do, literally falling apart, crying to the point of heaving, I would get pissed (at myself and God, even though I was an atheist at that time), and state firmly and repeatedly that I refused to give up – and in those moments of complete mental breakdown, feeling diminished and lost yet determined to persevere  – I connected with a higher power that seemed to consume me by “coming into me” and kind of taking over as my own consciousness.

       Its consciousness became one with mine and I felt more alive than ever before with a feeling of intense elation and self-awareness. An amazing feeling of calm came over me and I became very focused with a feeling of absolute power in what I was sensing. I seemed to know intuitively exactly what I needed to do, how I needed to do it, the reason for doing it, and what would result from it. All of my grief and despair vanished and I immediately proceeded to carry on with a renewed sense of moral strength that felt unstoppable. This was a profound awakening for me because I had always felt abandoned by a higher power and as if I was being made to suffer because I was a “good person.” I had felt betrayed and condemned by religion and always saw it as a form of mass delusion, even as a child.

       I then started experiencing what I came to realize were premonitions about the events that led up to my husband getting killed, where I literally tried to intervene and stop it from happening because I thought that was why it was being revealed to me. As I tried to change the course of events based on what I was seeing, they simply happened in a different way. Then, after he was stabbed and died on the spot, and was resuscitated several times while undergoing open-heart surgery, only to die as soon as he was taken out of ICU from a blood clot, it changed my perspective on everything. This set a whole new realm of investigation into motion that completely changed the course of my life by leading me down a path of deep inquiry into the true nature of destiny and the meaning of life. I became consumed with wanting to know what happens when we die? What do we experience? What’s it like? Where do we go? And I began reading everything I could find on the subject while talking to other psychics about their experiences with seeing people’s death and what happened when they tried to intervene by warning them.

       It was at this moment that I finally realized that if I didn’t believe in God, then who was I always talking to, and who was talking to me? I realized I was always engaged in a form of intimate conversation with another being that was inside of me. What was the voice inside of me that was always guiding, instructing, and comforting me? How was it that I could foresee events of the future while unconsciously engaging in behaviors as a part of what led up to them (I bought a black dress for an event a week before he died that I ended up wearing to his funeral). Was our life predetermined and we were just going through the motions as the experience of it, or were we truly creating our life moment by moment through the decisions we make?

      What I realized through all of it was that in every moment, through every life challenge and crisis, I was able to see different aspects of myself brought out by the shear panic and despair I was feeling, where I was making a decision, conscious or not, as to who I was going to be in relationship to that moment, and taking what often amounted to drastic actions that were terrifying in and of themselves as the means of fulfilling my decisions. These weren’t decisions made in an analytical way through reasoning as a debate, but rather ones that resulted from feelings, intuition, and a heightened awareness around the true nature of things.

       I became very clear on what was “in me to do and what wasn’t.” My choices came out of an awareness of who I am as a soul. Not from what I was “taught” was right or wrong or acceptable based on the circumstances. I couldn’t “imagine myself” being that way, and if I was, I would hate myself while knowing I had the ability to change it, but chose not to out of fear and self-doubt. All of my unconscious decisions resulted not from my conditioning and the values and behaviors being demonstrated all around me that I was an inherent part of, but from my inner sense of morality and what I knew deep inside to be right and wrong. It was my morality and intuition as a soul that was my compass and beacon shining through in even the darkest moments when all hope seemed lost and I was beside myself with fear. All the answers I sought weren’t outside of me, but within me, simply waiting to be acknowledged. I realized that questions and answers are opposite ends of the same thing, and the questions we ask in our most private moments with a deep sincerity to know bring the answers to us as life experiences.

       As I continue through life, I’m still experiencing one challenge after another, I’m currently in the process of going blind (have been for several years), but now I look at things from a completely different perspective where I see them as the ideal situation for showing me parts of myself that I still need to transform. I see them as opportunities administered by my Higher Self that serve to facilitate my moral and spiritual grow by teaching me the lessons they hold as a result. I’m completely clear on the fact that karma is administered in an unbiased and compassionate fashion by my Higher Self lovingly affording me the opportunity to redeem myself from past errors instead of blindly repeating them in new ways, and develop all of my weaknesses and bad traits into moral strength and mental skill. Realizing that problems are actually loving gestures designed to grow me in new ways, I feel a deep sense of appreciation for all of what I imagine to be tribulations.

       I’ve learned that every situation, no matter how challenging or difficult it seems, brings out in me all kinds of qualities and traits in response to it, many of which appeal to the mentality and emotional states of my conditioning where I can detach from them in order to see them in a different light and not let them consume me by making them personal. Through the challenges of my life I can see what weaknesses I still need to transform into strengths. I have developed a strong ability to look at myself as I truly am, and take an attitude of always rising to every challenge I’m faced with in order to develop myself in a fully conscious and deliberate way. I realize with complete certainty that this material life is not the prize to be won or story to be lived, but simply sets the stage necessary for me to decide in every moment who I’m going to be in relationship with it and as a co-creator with it.

       I realize that my true purpose in life is to grow my soul in ways that allow me to help other people grow. I consider myself a teacher and know that I can only teach others what I know from experience. I know that in blazing a path from the lowest level of despair to the highest level of optimism and confidence casts this into the astral light of mass consciousness where it can be accessed and utilized by all who are searching for their own answers. It has provided me with the knowledge and practical skills to be able to embrace and walk head on into any situation, no matter how bad, with a sense of compassion, reverence, and confidence in my ability to not only to endure it and know what to do in new situations, but use it to actively develop the parts of me it naturally acts to calls forth in response to it.

       I know that this life and these circumstances are simply a phase and step in my soul’s overall growth and are only meaningful in terms of setting the stage that’s ideal for my eternal process of self-creation. It’s not about what happens to us in life or why, but rather who we decide to become by way of what happens to us. In every moment we’re making decisions based on one question, and that is “who am I?” Who am I going to be in this moment? What am I going to create? We’re always the one determining our own creation and setting the course for our destiny. The only purpose to this life is to master our ability to not be controlled by the conditions and circumstances of life, but to engage at the point of actively directing the natural forces of the world through the power of self-realization, choice and will. How we live this life sets the karmic basis for the next as a continuation of our journey from an unconscious state to a fully conscious one.

Dr. Linda Gadbois