How to Release and Erase Memories of People and Events

Memories are something that only exist in our mind as a mental construct and replay over and over due to the intense emotion associated with them. All of what becomes actual memory that we can vividly recollect in emotional detail years later comes from significant emotional events (SEE) that had a powerful impact on us in some way. These events and the memories we formed of them served to change us in the most fundamental sense, and as we continued to live out of them, they served to shape our identity and “who” we became because of them.

Memory and emotion are always connected due to the fact that the event caused a strong emotional reaction in us, and those emotions served to shape the nature of the experience we formed as an interpretation of some kind. Our “experience” doesn’t come as an objective recollection of the event itself, but how we processed and internalized it as a means of creating our experience of it. As we internalize an intense event, we make it “mean” something by the story we tell ourselves about it in an attempt to put it in perspective as a means of trying to make sense out of it. We take an existing reality as a strong emotional event and reprocess it to form a new version of it as our interpretation that gives it personal  meaning.

The meaning we give something as the means of experiencing it forms the basis for the storyline we begin telling ourselves that serve to shape us as a person. We create our identity out of the memories we constantly play out in one way or another as the means of producing more of the same type of experiences. They become thematic templates for producing instant interpretations as our perceptual lens and filtering system. They give us a form of referencing system to instantly interpret all new and similar type of events to mean the same thing. As we walk through life we’re always assessing and summing up situations by looking through the thematic filters of our past memories by saying “this means the same things as that”. We consistently shape the present to be a continuation of the past and a means of predicting the future.

We walk into any situation with preconceived notions and expectations of what’s going to happen, and we use a dynamic series of mental and emotional filters to only notice, abstract, and rearrange the information in a way that creates the experience of our expectations. We’re always saying to ourselves . . . this means I’m not wanted; that means I’m not loved; I’m not good enough; people can’t be trusted; life’s unfair; I can’t ever get ahead, and so on. We interpret any number of behaviors or actions to mean the same thing as those same types of actions meant to us in the past. Our memories provide us with a template for producing a congruent and consistent experience of reality that follows a major theme.

Because emotion is the key factor in forming all significant memories, it also acts as the “hook” that keeps us compulsively attached to them and that serves as a “trigger” for activating them. As we’re triggered emotionally we produce an immediate reaction that doesn’t require us to think about it in order to form a new appraisal. All reactions are instant and produce unconscious actions in us. We instantly access and replay the emotion, mindset, and behaviors of the memory being activated. As we’re triggered emotionally we literally go unconscious and act out of a delirious state.

Anytime we’re overly emotional or “sensitive” to the emotions being projected by others, we live our life out of memories of the past as automated patterns and create while unconscious and not utilizing our higher capacities to create in a self-aware, well thought out and intentional manner. Emotionally reactive people are unconscious in the most basic sense and are constantly being controlled and determined by whatever it is they’re reacting to. Their whole life is determined by and becomes a replay of their formative conditioning.

Subconscious and Self-Conscious Mind

What we refer to as our subconscious is the creative aspect of our mind that forms our experiences of reality. It’s the “passive” aspect of our mind that’s “receptive” in nature; while the self-conscious aspect is “active” and self-aware, and has the ability to “give direction” to the subconscious as a way of forming new patterns of interpretation and behaviors. The subconscious is “experiential” in nature, which means its “programmed” with pictures, images, and scenarios that it uses as a metaphorical template for perceiving reality and producing all of our natural behaviors that come in an automatic way without us having to think about them.

The subconscious is emotionally driven and prompted to take action based on impulses and strong emotional charges. It works to create our entire experience of reality and ourselves out of memories of experiences that are emotionally intense. We literally “act on ourselves” to program ourselves for creating reality based on memories we form and continue to live out of, and the emotional states they naturally act to produce and maintain. Anyone who lives out of memories of their past is literally delusional. They’re living a life of illusions that they themselves are creating without direct awareness of what they’re doing.

The Power of Identity

The truly elusive and compelling thing about our memories is that we’ve actually “used them” as the means of shaping ourselves by way of them. As we had impacting experiences and tried to make sense of them by explaining them to give them meaning, we simultaneously identified with our own imaginary experiences. As we form an internal experience in our mind as the “meaning” of events, we “sense ourselves” within our own self-created experiences, and we make it mean the same thing about us. Whatever we tell ourselves about why something happened and what it means about another person or the way life is, it also means about us in relationship with it, and we begin identifying with our own story about things.

As we shape our identity out of our self-created memories and story about things, we need to keep telling them in order to know who we are. We replay the same scripts over and over in our mind. For this reason giving up our story can be quite difficult. This is especially true when we’re not clear on what story we want to tell in its place. Often when we give up our story or lose what we’ve shaped ourselves around, we don’t know how to “be” different. In order to tell a new story, we have to give up our memories of the past and develop new ways of being. Without a distinct sense of purpose and direction this can seem a bit daunting and overwhelming.

We become so used to living out of an automated state over time that having to actually make conscious decisions, select new ideas, and develop ourselves in new ways can seem dry causing us to struggle with motivation in maintaining them, especially when compared to the intensity of our emotional past. It’s the emotions attached to an idea that makes it compelling and infuses it with a sense of passion and drama. Emotions act like drugs in our body, altering our state of mind, and when their maintained in a habitual manner, become addictive, causing us to literally crave them.

In order to take over the process of conscious self-creation we have to exercise the higher capacities of our mind to create in an original fashion. This requires not only truly deciding to let go of your past conditioning, but also deciding how you’re going to be instead. What kind of person are you going to create yourself to be and what kind of story are you going to tell by how you live your life? And then, once you make those decisions you have to learn how to intentionally utilize your imagination in order to both instruct your subconscious to release and let go of memories while simultaneously replacing them with new ones. You have to learn how to use your conscious, self-aware mind to direct and guide your subconscious on what to create as a new idea.

Because your subconscious operates out of memory as imaginary experiences, you have to develop new ideas as actual experiences that are vivid in sensory terms. You have to create what you want as a form a “virtual memory” that provides your subconscious with a pattern to produce natural characteristics and behaviors out of. You have to practice embodying new ways of being as a means of training your body to new behaviors. You have to give your subconscious new emotional memories and form new habits through consistent and repetitive practice.

As you let go of past memories you have to replace the void it creates with new ones, or you have to “re-imagine” existing ones to form a new experience of them. If you leave a void, your subconscious will automatically draw something in as a means of knowing what to do. The subconscious can’t make decisions as to what to use as a means of creating and relies solely on memories as habitual patterns and tendencies. It’s “seeded” with suggestions from the conscious mind that it then converts into a reality in the imagination and uses for creating an outer reality of the same nature. The subconscious is symbolic in nature, which means that all imaginary experiences intentionally produced as a desire for creating as an outer reality, are utilized as thematic ideas. So it won’t produce the exact same reality the way you imagined it, but rather adapt the idea to the current situation and environment to produce a corresponding version of the same idea.

Power of the Imagination

While many people believe imaginary processes are an illusion and not “real”, they’re actually the means for not only giving the subconscious direction for creating as an actual experience, but also the means by which we direct the forces of the natural world. As we think, we imagine and direct energy into the “forms” of our thoughts, giving them life inside of us. All “actual memories” are in fact created by “re-imagining” an event, and are established as a modified version based on how they’re interpreted, and consistently replayed in the imagination. All imaginary processes are how we use our conscious mind to communicate with and direct our subconscious, which uses them as “symbolic ideas” for creating as an experience of a similar nature.

Another common mistake people make is in thinking that memories aren’t created “in” or by the imagination, but are an actual recollection of objective events, that they equally interpreted in a neutral and objective fashion. Yet memories are based on how we “formed our experience” of events based on the emotional state we were in at the time and as an “interpretation”. We reform the elements of an event in our mind as the means of telling a story out of the emotion we were feeling. Then the memory is recalled and replayed in the faculty of the imagination, forming our perceptual lens as an instant interpretation, and as the means of producing more experiences of the same kind, while altering the memory to some degree every time it’s recalled based on how it’s adapted to the current situation to produce a variable. Memories are actually “living creations” of the soul itself and they consistently undergo an evolutionary process through adaptation and modification.

Due to the fact that the subconscious is emotionally motivated to perform certain actions, if we have a fear or apprehension around letting go of or erasing memories, it’ll either hang onto them out of a fear of letting go, or it’ll create an experience that’s scary, stressful, and fear based. The emotion itself “is” the directive for the subconscious to create “as” an experience. The image used is just the pattern as a process, and the emotion is how that pattern is shaped into an experience. The pattern is simply what’s used to express the emotion attached to it as the reality that invokes more of the same emotion. The subconscious naturally moves into anything that’s presented as being pleasurable, and away from anything that’s painful. So if change is presented as a hard or painful struggle of some kind, the subconscious will avoid it at all costs, and work to sabotage any willful effort to accomplish it.

The scope of this article is the process of letting go of memories and not the instruction on how to create new ones, which I have written several other articles on, and can be accessed by using the search feature on my website. If you’re feeling the least bit apprehensive or unsure of yourself in choosing to let go of your past in order to create a new you, then you should spend some time exploring the nature of your attachment to your story of the past and wait until it becomes an exciting and liberating idea. Letting go of the “known” in favor of the “unknown” can be terrifying to those who are new to the idea of conscious self-creation. There’s a great sense of security in familiarity and staying in your comfort zone, even when it’s been traumatizing and painful.

Letting go of the Past – the Process

Once you’ve decided to honestly let go of your past story and feel excited about creating yourself anew, you can start by selecting the memories you want to erase. These can either be ones that were incurred with a specific person or a certain type memories usually represented by a phase or period in your life. You want to become clear on which ones they are because it requires a hypnotic state and an imaginary process where you have to use your conscious mind to direct your subconscious on what to do. If you’re uncertain or vague in anyway, you’ll lose your thought process as soon as you become totally relaxed.

Once you’ve decided, you want to make sure you fully abstract the “life lesson” the memories held for you in terms of what they helped you to realize so you can retain that knowledge and not repeat past mistakes.

Meditative  Process:

  • Get into a comfortable position, either sitting upright in a chair with both feet flat on the ground, preferably touching, relaxing your hands on your lap or thighs, palms down; or by lying down flat on your back with your neck well supported, legs straight and feet touching and hands relaxed palms down on either your chest, abdomen, or thighs. It’s important that your spine is straight and you create a “closed system” energetically.
  • Get comfortable, then close your eyes and turn your full attention inward and start by focusing on your breathing. Take a couple of long, slow, deep breaths to relax, and mentally scan your body for any discomfort, making any adjustments necessary to produce a comfortable feeling. Then relax your breathing to a normal, rhythmic motion.
  • You want to “talk to yourself” as a means of walking yourself (subconscious) through an intentional process, telling yourself why you’re doing what you’re doing as a form of verbal instructions (directing the process involved).
  • Breathe in relaxation, exhale all tension and stress, and with each breath you feel your body relaxing.
  • Place your attention on your feet – picture your feet or center your attention on the sensations in your feet, and tell them to relax . . . then feel them relax. Once relaxed, move your attention up to your calves, tell them to relax, and feel them relaxing . . . do this all the way up your body to the top of your head, until you’re fully relaxed and somewhat unaware of your body.
  • Have a sincere and brief conversation with your body about how good it feels to relax . . . the more you relax the better it feels, and tell it that this is a “safe space” that’s created by you, and it’s okay to just relax and let go. . .  . speak to yourself with a firm yet comforting and soothing voice.
  • Connect with your higher source of power . . . imagine a sphere of beautiful white light directly above your head. Feel it’s love and warmth as a very pleasurable sensation, then mentally ask the light to enter you, or draw it down intentionally, and feel it as it completely fills your head, saturating your brain with a beautiful white light, soothing and comforting you . . . as you continue to pull it down into your throat, filling your throat area, then down into your chest . . . abdomen, and legs, and down to your feet. As you feel your body filled with the beautiful, warm sensation of the light, feel it’s protection and comfort, and reaffirm that this is a safe place and it’s ok to just let go and go deeper and deeper down . . . down into a peaceful feeling of calm relaxation . . .
  • Then picture the person (or event) the memories are associated with, and tell yourself that you’re going to abstract from your body all the energy and etheric substance or aka from the various organs and parts of your body they’re located – the body holds memory as emotion – tell your subconscious to become aware of all the sensations within your body associated with this person.
  • Place your attention on the sensations, and imagine them as a form of liquid light and visualize yourself using your hands to enter into and pull out the fluid-like energy of the emotion and memory from your organs and muscles . . . .  
  • Do this every place you feel the sensations of the memory, while accumulating it and rolling it into a ball.
  • Once it’s been surgically abstracted and formed into a ball of liquid light, tell yourself to find the aka (etheric) cords attached at the heart center, and cut them using  a dagger or knife. Imagine doing it and see it as disconnected completely from all parts of your body and as a ball of light in your hands, then mentally thank this person in a sincere manner for the lessons they served to teach you, and let go of the ball sending it back out into the universe to be recycled so it can benefit someone else.
  • Watch it floating in front of you and being projected away until it completely disappears into the dark. Tell yourself it’s gone forever and bid it farewell.
  • After it’s completely gone imagine a hand whisking your energy field briskly, clearing out all residue, then seal your aura and body with a bubble-like shield of light, telling your subconscious that it can’t ever come back in and will be deflected back out into the universe. That you’re protected and safe . . .
  • Sense your body free of the emotional sensations while telling yourself how good it feels. Create an anchor for this state as a picture or word that you use that will instantly produce the state and can be fired at will.
  • Introduce the new memory you want to replace it with, associating the emotional trigger of the old memory to the new one. Wait until you get the new memory just the way you want it, and then replay it over and over in your mind until it comes automatically in complete form.  Then produce the emotional feeling of the old memory while instantly playing the new memory in its place. Do this repeatedly until it becomes natural.
  • In order to conclude the session, say to yourself . . . “and so it is, and so must it be”. And slowly bring yourself back into conscious awareness while telling yourself that you’ll wake alert and feeling better than ever . . . .

Most hypnotic processes only require one session, depending on how deep you go and how proficient you are at processes of deep meditation that utilize guided imagery, and your confidence in guiding yourself. If it doesn’t work with one session, simply repeat until it becomes permanent. Change produced by subconscious programming can often be a bit tricky to realize because it comes by simply “forgetting”. You lose awareness of the memories because you no longer think about them, and can go weeks or even months before it dawns on you that you haven’t thought about it in a long time. When you do think about the memories, you do it in a very detached and matter of fact way, with absolutely no emotion. As you realize that you haven’t thought about it for a while, you forget about it again, and never think about it unless there’s a direct association. It’s no longer compulsive or emotionally painful, and you no longer dwell in it uncontrollably.

Dr. Linda Gadbois  

I spend hundreds of hours a month writing, editing, designing, and managing this website in order to provide the highest quality of knowledge possible in the area of Spiritual Sciences and Applied Psychology for FREE to those who are seeking. If you have found the information on this site to be valuable and beneficial to your personal growth and development, please consider making a donation and actively supporting my work . . .

Forgiveness – The Key to Spiritual Healing

The most basic principle that’s operating all the time, in every aspect of life, is that whatever we “blend with energetically” (mentally, emotionally, or physically) we “take on” and integrate as a form of “shared” consciousness. We most often take on other people’s energy due to the fact that it impacts us in some way. The nature of the impact it has on us determines what type of story we start telling ourselves about it as a way of making it mean something. As we give meaning to our experiences we begin building our identity around and by way of them. We’re always in the process of shaping ourselves by way of what we think about, dwell in obsessively, and give life to inside of us by replaying it in our mind as a memory. As we co-create an experience with someone or an event of some kind, we form an interpretation of it through our very “perception” of it. As we think about something creating an inner reality out of it, we’re simultaneously creating our “self” through that reality by identifying with our own self-created experiences. How we interpret something gives it the meaning and significance it has for us, and forms the basis for what type of reality we create in our mind that replaces the “actual” objective reality with a “subjective” one, making it personal. Reality itself, as events, behaviors, dramas, situations, conditions, and so on, have no meaning in and of themselves, but merely become the basis for forming meaning by how it’s interpreted by the individual perceiving it as a means of “experiencing it”. While we can reasonably conclude that we don’t create or manifest other people or outward situations, we absolutely create “how we perceive and thereby experience them”. Our experience of reality is a personal creation formed exclusively in our mind as the natural creative power of our soul. All of our experiences that have a significant emotional impact of some sort, become our primary memories as interpretations of the events of our life. As we create our own memories, we simultaneously create ourselves by way of our own creations. The memories we accumulate over a period of time become “themes” out of which we create all of our present experiences to be of the same nature and meaning as our past experiences. This “theme” as a certain “type of meaning” forms the basis for our perceptual lens that we consistently look through in order to see the same thing in everyone and everything by how we interpret it. As we consistently form the same type of  experiences over and over, we continue telling the same type of story about things, and create a consistent and congruent version of reality as a result. As we perceive and experience the outer world by processing it internally through the commentary we form around it as imaginary thoughts,  we create a “sense of ourselves” through our own story, and shape ourselves by way of it. Whatever we continue to give life to by replaying memories over and over, we continue to use to define ourselves, and we tune and magnetize ourselves to that theme as a life-drama, where we’re constantly attracting it and being attracted to it. This “attraction factor” isn’t a product of the conscious mind, per say, but rather of the subconscious mind, which means it’s energetic in nature, based on vibratory frequency and operates in our life without our direct awareness. Whenever we meet someone of the same vibratory frequency, who will naturally act to co-create more of the same type of experiences, they stand out, we notice them, and have a reaction to them. Due to this, we naturally begin gravitating towards each other, and eventually end up in an actual interaction of some sort where a relationship forms – as a friend, colleague, companion, lover, etc. – and we act together to form a joint experience of the same thematic nature that we share in common. vesica The meaning we give things, like the mind itself, is 3-fold in nature, and creates on three levels and scales simultaneously. Whatever meaning we give something, means something about others, the way the world is in general, and about us in relationship with it. As we perceive and form an interpretation of other people’s behavior, we’re perceiving ourselves through or by way of that same interpretation. As we perceive others to be, we simultaneously perceive the world to be the same way as a larger version or as the stage in which it all takes place. Whatever it means about a specific person it means about “the way people are”, and about the way the world is in general. As we form “generalizations” about the meaning of life it serves to form our expectations and what we naturally look for in all situations. We form mental and emotional filters that skew our ability to accurately see in an objective manner. We only see and respond to what matches our model of the world, and fail to recognize what doesn’t. All the while, because these are our own creations as our thoughts and emotions, we’re forming ourselves to be of the same nature and likeness, as a response or defense, and as an interaction where our themes are always playing out at the unconscious level. Our perceptions form our “criteria for judgment”, and are used equally to judge ourselves through our perception of ourselves within our own story about things. So when we enter into a relationship or become a part of a situation, where natural events and behaviors take place, and we filter them through our mental paradigm and interpret them to mean something so we can experience them through a story-line, we act “on ourselves” through another or greater reality, and continue shaping ourselves through a primary for of self-expression produced by our mental paradigm as a filtering system. Through mental and emotional filters, we sort through and select only some of the elements involved, while completely excluding and ignoring others, we embellish and accentuate some, while downplaying and explaining away others, and change what’s emphasized based on the means we’re shaping it to, and by completely reorganizing and reformulating it, we create a personal version of what happened and why, that we live out of as a means of using it to define and determine us as a certain “type of person”. Because this is a natural function of our mind, and we do it automatically without intentional awareness, we form an idea that others are doing it “to us”, instead of “cooperating and participating” in helping us do it to us. Relationships we form with others provide the basis for acting out certain types of drama that are self-perpetuated at the subconscious level, and act as a mirror for allowing us to see what’s operating in us that we’re unaware of. Not as singular events within larger ones, that we grab onto and begin obsessing over as what we imagine we need to forgive in the other, but as dramatic life themes that we’re always in the process of playing out in all areas of our life without actual awareness of what we’re doing and why. So to think that someone “did something to us” that we’re having trouble moving past because we can’t seem to let it go and continue dwelling in it as a form of suffering and mental anguish, and fashioning ourselves by way of it, is a self-created illusion that’s delusional. Afterlife - alien planet - DMT - stargate We are the sole creator of all of our experiences. We attract to us the fulfillment of our own thematic dramas in others and the conditions and circumstances that are ideal for playing them out. As we play them out, both unconscious and conscious aspects are at work, and we’re constantly sensing the underlying motives at play, and making constant decisions as adjustments based on what we’re sensing is necessary to keep it playing out. As we sense the underlying motives of others, we realize those same motives in ourselves as the complementary component which is what keeps us drawn in and actively participating in it. We justify things in whatever way allows us to “glaze over”, ignore, or build it into an “agreed upon lie”, and we keep on going with it. We agree to maintain the relationship knowing, that in order to do so we have to compromise ourselves, agree to ignore or accept certain things that we shouldn’t, and continue allowing certain things that we don’t like, and we keep telling ourselves whatever it is we need to in order to do that through a form of negotiation. We begin lying to ourselves and building an illusion as a lie in place of the actual reality as the objective truth. Then an event of some sort with a strong emotional realization takes place, and shatters the illusion to the point where we can no longer maintain it, and we have to face it. We can’t pretend any more. We can’t call it what we wish or want it to be, but rather have to accept it as it actually is. This moment of shattering a lie, comes as betrayal, disappointment, dishonesty, violence, grief, shame, disgust, and so on, that not only reveals the truth we sensed and negotiated all along, but also as what breaks the bond and creates a disconnect that can no longer be remedied by pretending. In these moments we have to face the truth, but the truth is not what we think it is, the truth is coming face to face with the truth about ourselves. The realization that we we’re sensing what was going on all along and chose to negotiate away our integrity and lie to ourselves in order to maintain it and willingly continue playing it out. We come to the realization that “this type of stuff always happens to me”, because this is the way people are, and the way the world is. Usually, without ever realizing that it came about because it’s the way we are. We were willing to participate by compromising ourselves, not through clear rational thinking and objective observation, but through emotional attachments, inner compulsions, and a strong sense of need that we blindly mistook for love and trust. The only actual betrayal was to ourselves by our self. The only real dishonesty came by first being dishonest with ourselves. The wounds we encountered were ultimately self-inflicted. The only disgust and hatred was because of what this means about us. But all of this is very hard to accept, and even harder to own, and thereby realize that the only forgiveness involved, is our ability to stop projecting onto others, and use it instead to gain self-realization of our own unconscious tendencies, and begin working on ourselves to rectify and redeem ourselves. The only person that truly needs to be forgiven in our own life creations is ourselves, because we’re the ones negotiating its terms within ourselves. DNA and the Pineal In this sense to forgive is to forget, not only the other person involved in the co-creation of a self-produced drama, but also to quit living out of memories that act to ultimately produce our experiences in the present to be of the same nature as our experiences of the past. To realize that relationship of all kinds between our inner self and the outer world simply acts to show us parts of ourselves that we’re normally unaware of. To gain knowledge of ourselves as it’s being reflected back to us by others as an interaction that’s of a “cause and effect” nature. To see in ourselves our own methods for negotiating away our morality in favor of a desired illusion about things. To be able to realize our own motives for “selling our soul” to another, submitting and allowing ourselves to be controlled by agreeing to remain unconscious in order to maintain the relationship. Everything we perceive as happening to us, is actually happening “by us”. We are always creating our experiences by how we look at, interpret, and cooperatively participate or contrast and refuse to participate. We’re only attack-able or able to be hurt to the exact extent that we attack and hurt ourselves by not being willing to see the true reality going on beneath the surface, and therefore never learning from our own experiences. All experience is designed to bring self-awareness that allows for deeper realizations around the awareness. To perceive needing to forgive another for what they did to you, is showing you that you’re choosing to remain unconscious of your own creative power and part in things. When we learn to use all of our experiences as a mirror where we remove our focus from the other person or event, and examine ourselves in relation to them, we become more aware of our own internal processes and what it is that motivating those processes. We can come to realize how we negotiate and manipulate situations as a way of co-creating them. We can come to realize in very definite terms, that the very people we imagine we need to forgive for the pain and suffering they caused us, we should actually thank for the realization they allowed. We can come to realize the truth about ourselves and begin embracing our creative power to effectively bring what we were previously unaware of into the full light of day, where we can begin working with it to correct it, not in the outer situation, but in the inner situation producing it. In the spiritual sense of the mind and soul, those who cause controversy and serve to challenge us in very distinct ways, are worthy opponents that cooperate in creating the joint experiences necessary to learn by. As we learn, and we apply what we learn to create, we grow and develop ourselves as the means for spiritual healing. Dr. Linda Gadbois  Integrative Health Consultant and Spiritual Mentor

The Nature of Personal Illusions and the Minds Ability to Shape Reality

Our Mind is always Generating our Personal Reality . . . .

 While many people have heard of the spiritual concept of Maya, or the mind’s ability to make up false realities that it then “lives out of” as though they’re real, we tend to think that this idea involves mental illness or dysfunction of some sort, yet in fact, this is a natural function of the mind that we all do naturally anytime we’re forming interpretations of something as a way of making them “mean” something. What things “mean” forms the basis for the story we tell ourselves about it as a way of fitting it into our paradigm (it’s a product of our paradigm) in order to create a consistent experience of what we call “reality”. One of the most fundamental errors we make in the general sense of things, is we don’t realize that everyone’s not seeing the same things that we are, and we believe instead that we’re experiencing a universal reality where everyone sees what we see in a person, situation, or event, and is experiencing it the same way we are. However, nothing could be further from the truth.

The illusion begins through how we interpret what is in fact a neutral and objective outer reality that makes it “about us” in some way. We interpret everything as a way of giving it meaning. What something means is what produces the necessary theme or basis for “our story”, and is what allows us to continue telling our story as a consistent theme about everything. The meaning we give random events or other people’s behavior, from the perspective of what we’re telling ourselves about what’s happening, is how we create our personal experience of it. While we don’t have anything to do with the reality going on around us, in terms of actually manifesting or creating it, how we perceive it as an interpretation of it, is completely our personal creation of “reality” as an “experience”. We are the sole creator of our experiences, which often has nothing to do with what’s “actually” going on in a situation.

We all develop what we come to call our “personal issues” out of our primary conditioning. Our conditioning forms “life themes” as dynamic patterns that express a certain type of meaning as a story line that we start telling ourselves about what’s happening, which serves to give us a consistent experience of a vastly dynamic outer, objective reality. Through this story that we tell ourselves as a means of translating the actions and intentions of other people to mean something about us, is a form of illusion that we create and superimpose over the actual reality that transforms it into being of the same nature as we are (it’s formed by our “issue”). We are the “center of our own universe”, experience everything from within our own mind, and in our story about things, everything evolves around us. Because of this tendency, we tend to take everything personally.

eye space

Our story as a theme serves as a template of sorts, and has a self-fulfilling quality to it.  We can shape everything other people do in regards to or around us, or in relationship with us somehow, as being done intentionally “to” us. We imagine their behaviors to be intentionally directed towards us on purpose as the imaginary fulfillment of our story. Someone with the issue of “not being good enough”, for example, can interpret any number of behaviors displayed by others that they’re interacting with as being, once again, about them “not being good enough”. They twist everything in whatever way they need to in order to make it mean what they need it to mean. They can even misinterpret what is clearly complementary or praising, by questioning the motive, or somehow making it condescending, or empty flattery designed to (falsely) try and make them feel good, or make up for previous insults, and so on.

Whatever your issue is forms your primary theme as your perceptual lens and your means of forming consistent interpretations, and determines what you go into every situation expecting, looking for, waiting for, extracting and pointing out, and expounding upon. We only notice in any situation what lends itself to telling our story, and fail to notice anything that doesn’t. We completely ignore anything that contradicts our story, because we honestly can’t perceive it (in the natural sense), and we don’t know how to “tell ourselves” (live by way of) a different type of story. We don’t have a filter for it, and so we don’t recognize it for what it is. Even if somebody points it out as clearly contradicting our perception, we feel somewhat bewildered and confused by it, and will either disregard it, try and explain it away, or argue to defend our story as being right. We can’t conceive of it because it doesn’t fit into our model, and in being willing and able to consider it in its contradictory state, it would introduce doubt, and act to undermine or shatter our story. Because most are not willing to give up their story about things, because they’ve built their identity around it, they choose instead to ignore all contradictory evidence and defend their right to keep telling their story in spite of it.

We not only create our experience of life through our story, but we act on ourselves to shape ourselves by way of our story. Our “theme” evolves out of a series of repeated emotionally intense experiences that, as a child or young adult, we try to make sense out of by what we tell ourselves about them that give them meaning. Meaning creates on three levels simultaneously, the meaning we give things means something about other people and why they’re the way they are, about life and the world in general, and about “us” existing in relationship to it all. When people treat us “as if we’re not good enough” by criticizing us, talking down to us, calling us names, telling us we’re stupid, or being sarcastic and belittling, which we interpret as meaning we’re inferior and not good enough to be loved, admired, or accepted, and we develop an opinion of people and of life as being this way, and we develop an image of ourselves as being inferior, unwanted, and not lovable. This idea becomes a theme as a perceptual filter that we look through to “see”, and only see what matches it. Any neutral or borderline behavior, we simply “reinterpret” to still mean what we need it to mean in order to maintain our self-image. We can live our entire life experiencing everything out of this theme, usually without ever realizing it’s an illusion of our own making, and actually says nothing factual about other people or the way the world is, but rather simply reveals who we are and what delusion we’ve invested our sense of self into.

psychadelic-

Because we build our self-image and identity as a person out of a story that we continuously told ourselves about things that created our experience of them, even when we briefly begin realizing it’s an illusion and not a fact, we can have trouble giving it up, because we don’t know how else to be. We don’t know how to tell a different type of story. The story we tell ourselves becomes a form of self-fulfilling prophecy, and we literally take on and accentuate the qualities and traits that we believe (or were told) “don’t make us good enough”.  Meaning, we act out those behaviors in every aspect of our life, consistently giving people that impression of us. Because we believe our own story, and developed our sense of ourselves out of our story, and became the person in our story, we form a kind of love for it as our own creation, and will argue and defend our right to keep it, assuming others “don’t understand”, which, of course, they don’t. We don’t want to give it up because it’s who we are. What we want instead, is to be able to continue acting the way we are and believing what we’re believing, perceiving the same way, yet have someone or some situation treat us as if we’re good enough, usually without ever realizing that it’s impossible, because we’ll interpret even the best of behavior to mean whatever we need It to mean, or we’ll think they’re lying to us just to try and make us feel good, and usually respond by becoming angry, hurt, or offended.

So the ability of the mind to form personal realities as a delusion is the most common and natural function of the mind, and is something we’re all doing to varying degrees all of the time. The whole goal of spiritual development is learning how to control your mind, let go of your illusions as your “false image”, and realize your true identity and position within the cosmic scheme of things. What we call the “false ego” is the storytelling ability of the mind that runs in an automatic fashion, forming illusions as a child that becomes the “themes of adulthood”, which serve to create all of our experiences as a form of self-creation and self-projection, that’s based solely on a false assumption born out of emotional trauma of some sort that sets the whole process in motion as the reality of that emotion. Emotions are experienced strongly and deeply and use our subconscious mind to express through. Our emotions run our thoughts and create illusions in place of objective reality. Because the emotions are intense and immediate and command our mind by controlling our thoughts, imagination, and perceptual interpretations, we mistake them for being real, and allow them to shape us, and continue “using us” to express through. Most people live their entire life out of a dominant emotional state and a constant form of emotional reaction. Their emotions run them and they often have trouble realizing they’re not “true”, and act only to produce false realities that are very convincing, due to their intensity and the nature of the drama they create, which is very engaging and often addictive.

image004

Once we can learn to see emotions for what they are, strong forms of physical stimulation with whole dramas inherent in them, and we can realize that the stories we started telling ourselves while in the midst of experiencing these emotions, as make-believe ideas that simply expressed the emotion at the time they occurred, and when the emotion passed, we kept telling ourselves that story as a way of keeping the emotion alive, by expressing out of it and giving us more of it. Emotions, which form our body chemistry and alter our state of mind by way of them, just like drugs, are addictive, and once we begin forming realities out of them as a life drama, they become habitual. They shape the patterns of our mind and form our mental perceptions, so that we’re always in the process of seeing more of that same emotion and the reality it naturally produces in everything around us. In this way we keep supplying ourselves with more of the same emotions, feeding our addiction and reinforcing our false beliefs.

If we can learn how to dissociate from our story, move out of being “in the experience” of it, and view it as an outsider watching it play out like a movie, where we’re not the main character, but simply playing one role in a larger story, and release our attachment to our “side” of the story, we can begin gaining a different perspective and see it from a different point of view. When we realize that other people’s behavior has nothing to do with us in the ultimate sense, but is simply a reflection of “who they are”, we can learn not to “take it personal” or internalize everything by going into a whole drama because of what other people do “to us” or “because of us”, and we can ask ourselves what does their behavior say about them? Not us. What’s going on in their life, or what issues do they have that’s causing them to be and do whatever it is they’re doing? If we could see another reason for what’s happening beside the one we give it that makes it “about us”, what would we see? What kind of a person do we become because of our story, and who would we be if we gave up our story? What kind of story would we tell if we were doing it on purpose? With full awareness of “who” and “how” we become by way of the story we live out of. If we could be anybody we wanted to be, who would we choose to be? And what qualities and traits would we need to attain and develop in ourselves in order to live out of a different type of story? What traits would we have to give up or act intentionally to transform (heal) in order to play a different role in our own life?

Once we take a position of reflecting on our own tendencies and realizing what and how we’re doing them, and what it is that triggers them, we can start becoming fully conscious and live our life in a deliberate manner of conscious self-creation. By gaining clarity on what our story is and when or why we began telling it, we can see it for the illusion it actually is, not because it’s “not true” or the events that formed it didn’t happen the way they did, but by realizing that our story is only one story or perspective on the same idea, out of which there are many. We can relive the memory while making a conscious choice to reinterpret it to give it different meaning, and therefore experience it in a different way, and replay it over and over in our imagination the way want it to go instead, and literally neutralize the emotional charge it has for us. Without the emotional charge, we can remain calm and centered in the same situations, and through our calm state, we can “choose” how we want to perceive it and respond as a result. As with all things in life, all psychological and emotional healing comes only through self-realization and awareness. We have to remove our focus from other people, self-reflect and realize our own tendencies. Once we do this, we can begin working on ourselves with full awareness of what we’re doing and why.

Dr. Linda Gadbois

If you enjoyed this article, sign up for our Newsletter in order to receive more . . .

 

Sub-personalities – Internal Conflict and the Voices in your Head

good and bad
One of the most natural aspects of our everyday experience is this constant inner dialogue going on within our mind as a form of discussion, negotiation, or argument between different aspects or parts of ourselves. This natural phenomenon is evident in how we describe it when we say that “one part of me wants to do this, while another part of me wants to do that”. This split decision causes us to feel torn between ideas, and often leaves us never really making a firm decision while constantly going back and forth between extremes of the same idea. This same reality is often depicted as a devil on one shoulder, and an angel on the other, both whispering in our ear. Carl Jung recognized this basic process of consciousness always going on, and developed the idea of the psyche being composed of multiple archetypes or personalities that are always engaged in discussion and persuasion as part of our normal thinking. Of course this idea wasn’t unique to Jung, but is a basic part of ancient wisdom and the archetypes of mythology as aspects of consciousness that represent different personalities, and astrology based on the individual make-up being based on the archetypes and their main focus within a persons basic personality. These are not to be mistaken for “multiple personalities”, which is an entirely different condition, but rather as different aspects of one personality.

 
These inner voices, all with personalities of their own, each exerting themselves in various situations, competing for control of our will, are actually what in psychology we call “sub-personalities”, “inner aspects”, or “different parts”, all of which make the greater overall personality. We’re born with a cluster of archetypal personalities as part of our soul’s make-up, and we acquire them as we go through life from our conditioning, events of strong emotional impact, extreme fear, or trauma’s of some sort. Our parent’s voice, for example, becomes a natural part of our inner dialogue that continues to play out and talk to us from the same attitude, perspective, intention, and demeanor. Our belief system, likewise, comes as an inner discussion that’s always telling us about something from the perspective of the belief it represents. When we encounter shocking, fearful, or intense situations, we can draw into us and take on new aspects that are ideally suited for negotiating that situation “for us”, or as a means of coping with it. Whenever we’re devastated in some way, and fall apart, we let down our resistance to outside forces and influences, and become vulnerable to them through a form of magnetism.

energy design

Whatever emotional state we indulge in, we polarize ourselves to, become a magnet for the consciousness of that emotion, and draw into us thoughts that create realities out of the emotions as a possible expression of it. We “take on” the quality of consciousness equivalent to the emotional state, and think thoughts that form inner realities that express and produce more of that emotion. These emotional thoughts, seemingly generated by our mind as the expression of the emotions, take on a life of their own, become an aspect of our personality, and continue to operate in us through a voice that becomes a natural part of our thinking. It’s an aspect of the emotional state that produces it that perceives everything from that perspective, and has its role and intention “as” that perspective. It stays alive in us by thinking through us, and always talking to us in a convincing manner, negotiating the terms of its existence.

 
The sub-personality is always describing things, explaining them, and pointing them out while telling us about them. While they’re active “in us”, we are rendered passive, and allow them to exert themselves by giving them the stage to speak freely. Even when we recognize them, and willfully subdue them, as soon as our guard is down, they reassert themselves and begin controlling our thoughts without our direct awareness. They’re so automatic that they become a natural part of us. After awhile, we can’t separate ourselves from them, come to depend on them, and let them run us and use our mind and will to create by way of us. As long as we fail to integrate the parts, they continue to exert themselves without our direct awareness, through our subconscious nature. Whatever exists in us at the subconscious level, meaning without our direct awareness of it, we continue to act out in an automatic fashion, usually producing what ultimately becomes an internal conflict. They form opposing unconscious aspects of ourselves that go against conscious aspects. We make a decision consciously to do something, and then our subconscious mind brings into play everything that contradicts it and is acting to prevent it, sabotaging our willful efforts. Because these aspects were formed out of intense emotional states, whenever we begin reliving them, or they rise in us and begin playing out by controlling our thoughts, they’re accompanied by strong emotions, which tend to overpower us, and negate rational and reasonable thinking that’s devoid of a strong emotional component.

Man with conceptual spiritual body art

When two ideas come into direct conflict, each represented by a different aspect of ourselves, the one which elicits the strongest emotion tends to win out. While our first approach may be to fight against the emotional aspect preventing us from consciously progressing in a more favorable direction through active choice and will, this can prove hopeless and at best a temporary gain through dominance and suppression, yet the real solution lies in negotiating terms with the sub-personality, by gaining realization around it, what its purpose and agenda is, what it’s meant to do, and thanking it for its service to you by helping you through the difficult situation in which you acquired it in, then telling it to leave, while mentally forming a pathway out of your body and sending it back out into the universe to be of service to someone else.

 
All energies and natural forces as qualities of consciousness only come into us through a vacancy or void that creates a vacuum as magnetism of some sort, which we could think of as a form of invitation that pulls or draws it into us through resonance, we can simultaneously realize that regardless of the role it takes on, the intention is beneficial because it was designed to help us through a situation we were in as a state of mind that attracted it, or awakened it in us. While we tend to think of the mind as a product of the brain or heart, and therefore “set” and comprised of fixed qualities, the fact of the matter is we are born with a constitution as a set of information and memories that form our initial personality, and we are engaged in a constant process of growth and development through a constant exchange of energy with everything around us. The mind is energetic and invisible in nature, and works through vibration, sympathetic induction, and synthesis, in much the same way we take in the molecules of the air around us by breathing it, which then become an essential part of our molecular structure, while discharging or exhaling molecules no longer needed as a form of recycling. Likewise, the food we eat becomes the building blocks that form our physical body, determining our health as a physical state or condition. Our mind is the electromagnetic energy system of our body that’s drawing into it energies as qualities the consciousness around it. Blending with and becoming the same as them, altering the vibration of the mind through the integration, while emanating or sending back out energies no longer magnetized to it.

bit by bit

The energies of the mind as the invisible forces in the invisible space around us, are “qualities of consciousness” with a singular nature that form an aspect of a larger matrix of energies and become a sub-personality with a specific perspective and perception, that forms a part of our overall personality, modifying it by incorporating the singular perspective, altering the overall perspective. We experience it as a “voice in our head” as “thought” that enter into and become a part of our normal perspective of everyday reality. Because they come as thoughts and feelings, we often don’t realize that they’re not our own, and are something we “acquired” instead, and we give our will to them by letting them rise in us as our perception, thoughts, and interpretation of the meaning events take on. They begin discussing everything as a form of argument that clashes with and negates other aspects, always seeking to win over and resume control of our perception and thought processes.

 
Like all things of the mind and the invisible plane of pure energy that we are submerged in and an integral part of, the only way to extract unwanted aspects, or aspects whose part and role is no longer needed or beneficial, is through recognition and awareness of them and how they operate to influence and control you. Because we acquire these automatically while in an unconscious state of delirium (emotion, trauma, shock, intense fear, etc.), and they’re absorbed into our unconscious mind and arise in us automatically without our direct awareness of them, they continue with us until we become conscious and aware of them. Once we become aware of different aspects of ourselves, and how they exist in conflict with other aspects of our nature, and we realize how they’re serving us through protection and service of some sort, we can appreciate them, feel gratitude for their help, and let them know they’re no longer needed. They no longer serve a desirable or necessary purpose. We can then locate them in our body through the emotion they are a part of and the bodily sensations it produces, and direct them to leave while mentally escorting them out of our body and back into the universal soul of mass consciousness where they’ll become available to be drawn in by someone else in need of their services.

 
The interesting thing about qualities or aspects of consciousness is that they exists on the plane of the mind as consciousness, and can only be worked with from that same plane. The mind controls the mind, and our own conscious awareness and imagination is used to acquire, exchange, utilize, and discharge the consciousness available all around us. We work with our mind by way of our mind. We can realize that our will commands aspects of the mind not only as energies around us, but through the mind of others. We are constantly taking on and exchanging consciousness with everyone and everything around us. By becoming aware of this we can simultaneously learn how to exercise control over it.

 
Once we realize that our soul as our consciousness actually “jumps out of” and exits our body during events of fear, shock, and trauma, causing what you could think of as a vacancy and a form of vacuum as a magnetic pull that draws in energy equivalent to or of the same vibration and quality of our state of mind, or that’s inherent in the situation, we can begin realizing the powerful role emotions and fear play in governing us through acquisition of consciousness that increase and amplifies the state itself. Fear draws into us consciousness of the reality inherent in the fear, and makes us think fearful thoughts, or react with anger and rage, through an inner voice that begins dialoguing with us about the fear and from the perspective and attitude that sees the same type of fear in everything around us just through its perception of it. Looking through the lens of fear, we only see more fear or what warrants fear.

MindfieldBy learning how to manage our state of mind, we can recognize aspects we’ve acquired that aren’t “us”. We can begin distinguishing between our real self and our acquired self. We can begin realizing that certain aspects of our thinking are associated to specific events of our life where we “acquired them” and they became a normal part of our thinking. We can begin realizing how they play a part in sabotaging other aspects of our life, or argue against and negotiate through seduction to prevent willfully bringing about desired changes through conscious decisions to do so. By becoming aware of their strong emotional component we can not only resist their control, but learn how to identify them further, while simultaneously using compelling emotions to fuel and empower our conscious decisions. By gaining realization around them and what they act to prevent, protect us from, deal with, or cause, we can see their purpose and how they were intended to protect us, and how through that same attitude and behavior now act to sabotage our intentional efforts, we can thank it for its help, and tell it it’s no longer needed, then consciously and willfully release it, freeing it from the body and mind, and no longer be subject to it. Anytime we are “removing” one aspect creating a void or opening, we have to consciously draw into that space what we want to fill it, or it’ll do it automatically with whatever is available without our direction. As we create an opening or vacuum we have call or pull our soul back in to fill it, recovering it and becoming whole again. This is traditionally referred to as “Soul Retrieval” in Shamanic Arts.
All energy as spirits, entities, qualities, or emotions is subject to and commanded by the will of the human mind. We willfully acquire them through needing or wanting, or by vacating our body creating an opening for them to enter, take hold, and remain apart of us. While they occupy a part of us, our own soul can’t fully enter back into and operate through us, and remains on the outer boundaries of the mind where an opening has to be created in order to draw our own soul aspects back into our body. Only through awareness, realization, and willful control over them can we release or discharge them. The problem is, once they become a part of us, we build our identity around them as an essential part of ourselves, and form a kind of love for them, and hold them to us as a result. We don’t want to let them go because we’ve become accustomed to the story we began living out of them due to the traumatic circumstances we acquired them through, and feel as if we would lose an important part of ourselves by letting them go that would change tour very psychological make-up by making us encounter and experience in us what they were designed to protect us from. We only draw into us and acquire consciousness that’s of service somehow and therefore useful.

ethereal body

Even when we perceive them as bad or destructive, they’re preventing us from coming face-to-face with other aspects of ourselves that we fear even more, even though they might be ultimately good and serve our growth. For example, anger and hostility may be acquired in response to something terrifying that was exactly what we needed to deal with that event, and so it helped us cope and be able to get through it, that once the terrifying event passed, we still maintain an aspect of us that approaches ordinary experiences with an attitude of anger and aggressiveness, or we see them in a way that makes us feel angry and aggressive that’s an inappropriate response. We can continue to look at ordinary things from a perspective that warrants anger and a hostel attitude. In this way, the very quality that protected us in one situation, now becomes our downfall because it becomes a primary part of our everyday life and we’re “angry a lot”, or it becomes an inappropriate response that we can’t seem to help, and we begin employing volatile reactive behavior in the ordinary sense.

 
While we may come to a conscious decision of no longer needing their diversion, and are willfully choosing to step into what we originally feared and resisted, they continue to play out preventing it by introducing contradicting thoughts and emotions that go against our active decisions and hold us to the same attitudes, identity, and behavioral tendencies they served to develop in the first place. Once they become apart of us, we mistake them for being us, and continue to let them control us by living out of them and never sticking with our decisions that would eradicate them by rendering them subjective to our will.

 
Like all things, the idea is never to fight against or resist something, but rather to remove it and its influences from the system altogether, modifying the mind, and removing all blocks to progressive growth through willful decision making. At the level of the mind and consciousness, awareness is the key! Anything we remain unaware of continues to play out in our life, without our consent. By becoming aware of unconscious or shadow aspects of ourselves, we can dissolve them through awareness itself. Not through hating them or judging them to be bad, weak, or wrong, but rather by recognizing how they were serving us at some level and were exactly what we needed to deal with the situation we were in when we attracted them. When they entered us they were helping us to cope with and negotiate some situation that was difficult for us, or that we didn’t feel equipped to deal with. It’s only through true recognition and love and gratitude, that we work with the very consciousness that makes up our own being and serves to create our life experiences and impose a distinct direction on our life’s path by playing a part in controlling our choice and will to bring about certain realities. Love, appreciation and gratitude elicit a natural state of cooperation necessary to direct energetic forces.

 

Dr. Linda Gadbois

 

Personal Development

Transformational Coaching

Mind / Body Integration

 

About the author:
Dr. Linda is a Spiritual Scientist and scholar of Hermetic Sciences and Ancient Wisdom traditions. She’s a professional educator and trainer for all areas of personal transformation, self-creation, mind development, and soul/spiritual evolution. She practices Integrative Medicine with a special emphasis on Psychology and Creative therapies. She conducts ongoing classes, Playshops, and Adventure Seminars, and is available for private or group training, mentoring, and speaking engagements.
To inquire, click here

 

Save

The Secret to Forgiveness – “The Key to Mind-Body Healing”

birthThe idea of forgiveness is probably one that eludes us in the most basic sense, because we approach it from the perspective of pain and suffering that we imagine someone has caused us, and believe that to forgive “them” is to somehow let go of the pain, pretend it doesn’t exist any more, or somehow condone their behavior in terms of the experience it created for us. Even when we struggle to grasp forgiveness in theory, which gives us the basis for attempting to actually “do it”, we often find that it doesn’t work, and we still hold hard feelings and pain caused by another, that still eats at us, and we can’t seem to honestly let it go in the real sense of the word.

“To forgive is to forget”

One of the hardest things to realize about this equation is that forgiveness in the ultimate sense has nothing to do with the other person or situation we think that we need to forgive, but rather about us, as seeing whatever happened as the enactment of a larger pattern as a behavioral dynamic of some sort that acts as a mirror for helping us to “see” aspects of ourselves that are normally very difficult to see. It comes through the realization that whatever takes place in a relationship or situation, that we are very much playing a “role” in that situation, and are participating in creating the experience that it affords us.

 
Our lives are psychologically governed by “patterns” as life themes that we are conditioned to in our formative years, and continue to act out in various ways through the very nature of the relationships we form and the behaviors that become immediately established through the nature of our interactions. These life themes as “dramas” usually involve ideas like: betrayal, abandonment, deception, not being worthy of love, being used, not wanted or good enough, and so on. These patterns as life dramas were being acted out within the dynamics of our immediate family, friends, and daily environment while we were growing up, in which we played a part, had a role of some kind within it, was subject to the emotions and attitudes being openly displayed. These dramas formed our everyday “normal” experiences, and in an attempt to make sense out of them, we began telling ourselves a story about them that made them “mean” something ((I’m not wanted, no matter what I do it’s not good enough, etc.) The meaning we began giving things by the story we told ourselves about what was happening and why, formed the basis of what became “our story”, that we continue to develop as we grew up by using it to interpret all of our experiences that had a strong emotional impact, making them mean the same thing, and using them as the means of creating more of the same type of experiences. The meaning we gave things in order to understand them, not only means something about the people involved, and the way the world is in general, but it means the same thing about us in the context of the story we tell ourselves about it in which we are not only the main character, but also the creator of the story as a means of creating our personal experience, and the observer who’s always “watching it” as we play it out in our imagination, subjecting our self to our own story about it over and over, seating it deeply into our subconscious, which perceives it as “real”.

mental energy
Whatever thematic pattern we’re conditioned to, we develop as the formative basis of our mental paradigm or vibratory frequency that forms our “perceptual lens” and how we interpret the events of our life just through how we perceive them. While we think we’re conditioned to only one role in a dynamic, we’re actually conditioned to the dynamic itself, and while we may relate to one role in that dynamic as a child, as we grow into an adult, we begin associating with the adult role in the same dynamic. As an adult, we can play any role in that dynamic, or even multiple roles at the same time, switching back and forth, and act to perpetuate the dynamic, initiating it by projecting it, and by the presumptions we’re always making as a form of anticipating or predicting, and the natural behaviors we employ as a result.

 
How we act when we come into relationship with others, stimulates, and calls forth the matching tendencies in them of the shared patterns, and we establish the nature of the relationship as the behaviors and attitude that forms the daily interaction where the shared theme becomes acted out in a new version. By co-creating more of the same type of experiences that leave us feeling the same way, strengthens and reinforces that dynamic in us, telling the same type of story, wrapping our identity around it to the point where it’s the only story we know how to tell. We form our mental paradigm out of that story as our “basic perception” and we can only “see” in others and situations what matches our story. We’re always in the process of telling our story through our outward persona and natural (unconscious) behaviors and general attitude, which are all natural expressions of our paradigm.

 
Because these patterns are engrained in our subconscious mind (our mind is structured by them) which forms all out natural and automatic behaviors, and how we’re “being” in terms of our energy and how we “feel” to others, we are actually vibrating to the frequency of that dynamic (pattern) and act to stimulate it in others by resonating with those that share the same tendencies and can cooperate naturally in acting out the same dynamic, giving both of us more of the same experiences through the natural interaction that takes place. All attraction is ultimately unconscious in nature, and comes through the quality of our energy as our emotional mind-set, which connects us energetically with those of the same quality of consciousness in our environment. When we connect, see each other, encounter each other, or actually meet directly and interact, we experience a pronounced chemistry as an “inner stimulation”. This feeling of having chemistry with someone, feeling attracted to them, is the experience of “resonance” as inner sensations that are arousing somehow. We are literally vibrating them, and they us, through “shared” qualities and life themes. We come together based on these shared qualities because we’re compatible for acting out the same idea together through the relationship we form.

 
Because this is all taking place at the subconscious level and comes automatically, without our direct awareness of what’s actually happening, the only way we can begin working with it consciously, is by realizing that we tend to end up in the same type of relationships with the same type of people, where the same type of experiences take place, leaving us feeling the same way. We can only act to change and evolve the stories we act naturally to tell, by gaining awareness not of the other person as separate and different from us, but as possessing and reflecting back to us the same qualities, tendencies, and relationship dynamics, that we ourselves possess. We can recognize how we feel because of the interaction, and while holding that feeling, and simply being present with it, we can see the story inherent in it as a series of associated memories.

Torus shapeWhen we change the orientation from “what they’re doing to us”, and self-reflect instead while asking ourselves “what is my part in this”? What role did I play in cooperatively acting this out to recreate my own experience? How have I felt like this before, and what story or experience was being acted out then? Is this a familiar feeling, and if so, in what way is it familiar? What memories do I naturally associate with it? And what does it remind me of? What points along the way did I get a notion or direct realization of what was happening, and what did I do or tell myself about it that explained it or made it alright and kept me “in” the relationship despite what I was realizing about how I felt? What did I sense about what was happening, and chose to pretend I didn’t notice, or interpreted it in such a way that I masked it with an illusion that secretly condoned it? What were the indications along the way that gave me a funny feeling, that I didn’t investigate or act on?

 
The true ability to forgive another comes only through the self-realization that they provide you with. They are acting as an outer mirror that’s reflecting back to you through a direct experience parts of you that you can’t see clearly or have covered over with a story about it that prevents you from seeing it for what it really is. Any relationship we participate in (which is all of them) is based on shared qualities that we have in common (which is why we relate) and the natural interaction that takes place through the expression of those shared qualities to tell a story as a joint experience. This brings whatever is “inside of us” (that we’re largely unaware of) outside of us, where we can view it through the experience of it in an objective manner (apart from us) as a “full pattern” that also contains aspects of ourselves normally hidden from us through some form of denial or suppression.

 
By realizing this, we can use our relationships and the experiences we create through them as a mirror that’s showing us who we are in our fullness. We can recognize the dynamics we are prone to and the tendencies that engage us unconsciously in cooperatively acting out those patterns in new and varied ways with new people. Once we realize “what we’re doing” in a relationship that’s cooperating in causing the events that produce emotional pain as the enactment of our life’s theme, just through the awareness itself, we are no longer “unconscious” in our own experiences, and are no longer prone to the same stimulus. We are no longer drawn into illusions through reactive behaviors, and no longer “relate” to behaviors that act to initiate those patterns, and as a result no longer need to act it out in an attempt to recognize the true reality being played out as a shared delusion.

good and bad
All healing in the ultimate sense, is becoming aware of parts of ourselves that we are not aware of in the normal sense, that play a powerful part in the life dynamics we engage in that form the basis for our experiences, and of course, give us a sense of ourselves by how we identify with our own self-created experiences. We don’t realize that we’re playing a major role in the type of people we attract and are attracted to, and the situations that naturally emerge out of the relationships we form with others. This lack of self-awareness and the tendency to project onto others by imagining that they are “doing unto us” in an unfair and unjust manner, is what keeps us expressing what we call “shadow aspects” of our personality that we continue to remain unconscious of, and therefore don’t recognize them and certainly don’t “own” them. As we begin recognizing our own tendencies in relationships and situations, and become conscious in our own life, we can see them as they’re being acted out in the moment when we’re actually in the process of “doing them”, and we no longer engage in the same manner. In that moment of awareness we realize what’s actually going on, and we’re no longer “reactive”. Because we can see it in a new light, it’s no longer compelling to us, and in that moment of calmness where we used to react, we realize that we actually have a choice in how we respond and interact. By changing our response to a person or situation, we change the dynamic that plays out, and break the pattern. The same behaviors that we used to get draw in by, no longer have the same affect, and after awhile, we don’t even notice them anymore. Once we break the pattern of our own tendencies, we don’t attract people who are living out that pattern, and no longer relate to them or have any chemistry with them. We become neutral to it.

 
Once we realize that what was holding us to the illusions of the story we were telling ourselves was the fact that we were unaware of what we were doing, and through our awareness, we can simultaneously realize that the people still acting out those stories are in fact unaware of what they’re doing. They still believe they’re real, and so honestly don’t know what they’re doing. They don’t realize that they’re living out of an illusion of their own making as the story they continue to tell themselves about everything that gives their live meaning. In this awareness, we can realize that there’s actually nothing to forgive. The idea of needing to forgive was based on an illusion and our lack of awareness. Once we are no longer participating in telling the story as a shared delusion, we are no longer affected by it. We no longer feel any residual pain, no longer suffer at someone else’s hand, and at some point, quit thinking about it all together. In the ultimate sense, we know when we’ve actually forgiven someone or some perceived act “against us”, because we literally forget about it. We no longer think about it or feel the pain it once caused, and when we do recall it, we can do so in a completely objective, matter-of-fact way. We look at it almost like we’re looking at it from a completely detached perspective where it’s no longer personal. If you’re still hanging on to something that happened “to you”, with pain, suffering, and hard feelings of any kind, it’s means you haven’t forgiven and more importantly, that you haven’t been able to realize the delusion that you yourself are involved in.
As with all things in life . . . awareness that brings self-realization is the key to healing and happiness.

 

Dr. Linda Gadbois

Transformational Coaching

Personal Transformation

Mind-Body Integration

 

About the author:
Dr. Linda is a Spiritual Scientist and scholar of Hermetic Sciences and Ancient Wisdom traditions. She’s a professional educator and trainer for all areas of personal transformation, self-creation, mind development, and soul/spiritual evolution. She practices Integrative Medicine with a special emphasis on Psychology and Creative therapies. She conducts ongoing classes, Playshops, and Adventure Seminars, and is available for private or group training, mentoring, and speaking engagements.
To inquire, click here

Save