How we Form our Thoughts – The Role Suggestion Plays in our Daily Lives

awakening

I often get asked “can everyone be hypnotized”? Or are there some people who can’t? What this shows me is that most people don’t understand what hypnotism is or how our mind naturally operates by way of it. A better question would be, “is there anytime we’re NOT being hypnotized”? Many people spend the better part of their lives in a constant state of hypnosis, being basically unconscious of how they’re being influenced by everyone around them, and how they’re systematically “given” thoughts, that they then adopt as their own, personalize them by how they imagine them, which simultaneously modifies their paradigm by incorporating them. These thoughts then become our own, and we use them to program ourselves by way of them by simply thinking about them. Our thoughts, as our internal dialogue is the most basic form of self-hypnosis. We program ourselves by way of our own thinking. In order to understand how this works, all we have to do is look at what hypnosis is, and what laws of the mind it operates by, and then learn how to recognize those same processes as they operate in our daily lives.

 
All hypnosis can be thought of as the primary means through which a thought as a suggestion is introduced into the mind which is receptive to it, meaning, there’s no form of resistance to it. We have two aspects of the mind that are always operating in tandem to create our experience and turn ideas that are introduced into it into full fledged inner realities by imagining them. The subconscious, which is the powerhouse of the system, is programmed and operates out of memory and produces all our natural behaviors by regulating our emotional state which is attached to memories of various sorts. As emotions are stimulated in us, we reference memories associated to those emotional states and use them to perceive our outer situation. The subconscious is passive and receptive, which means as long as information is delivered in its language as an imagined reality with strong feelings or emotional content, it doesn’t resist, argue against, edit or analyze the information, but simply accepts it as an “actual reality” that it then utilizes like an actual memory producing a whole series of behaviors out of it that act to produce it as an outer experience, while simultaneously forming our perceptual lens to include the idea, connecting us to that idea in our outer environment.

gears
The self-conscious aspect is the “thinking mind” that forms our internal dialogue as what most think of as our “thoughts”, that are a form of self-talk, and acts as the gatekeeper to the subconscious by examining and editing everything to decide what’s allowed in to take hold, and what’s resisted or declined, and therefore prevented from taking hold. Whenever we’re in a relaxed state and have no strong objections to the information being received, we are in a passive state, and readily allow ideas in. Likewise, whenever information is delivered with a strong emotional component, especially fear, the emotion overrides the logical aspect, and is instantly taken in and allowed to take hold. Emotion is like a hook that seats the idea in the psyche where its then “dwelled on” and thought about extensively. The emotion married to an idea is what determines how we develop that idea in our imagination through the meaning we give it. The meaning shapes the story we tell about it, and the emotion intensifies it. Through this process all memories are produced by emotional states of some sort, and the emotion activates the memory associated with it as our perceptual lens that restructures our outer objective reality into a personalized subjective reality by how we interpret it. Memories are an interpretation mechanisms that provide us with instant realities as a means of creating consistent types of experiences based on them.

 
The primary forms of hypnotic induction that most commonly take place in our daily lives is various forms of entertainment (especially ones that come as movies or virtual images with music and sound), researching information (with a sense of anticipation), shock or fright of some kind, experiences that have strong emotional impact, and mental entrainment that comes from a strong feeling of familiarity or resonating with someone or something, being seduced, and of course, the most powerful of all, falling in love or being mesmerized by someone or an idea about something. Naturally, fear causes us to close down, stop, avoid, move away from, or hide in some way, and love, being compelling, draws us towards things with a desire to become one with them. Both extremes, love and fear, control our thoughts and we form internal images that first produce and amplify those feelings, then act to intensify and increase them, giving us more of them. Our thoughts act as suggestions to our subconscious mind which converts them into imaginary realities that it perceives as being real or actual experiences. Because the subconscious operates out of memory and forms behavioral patterns based on memory, it turn imaginary realities into actual memories and creates automatic and natural behaviors out of them. When this happens we are living a great deal of our life out of an illusion of our own making.

gene
The basis of hypnosis is the willing intake of an idea as a suggestion that has a strong sensory component that invokes a strong emotional response, intensifying it, that we take into our mind and begin developing it by imagining it as an actual reality or conceptualization that makes it believable, forming what the subconscious mind mistakes for an actual event or outer reality. An idea given to the subconscious as an actual life-like reality with strong emotions (making it seem actual), it interprets the same way it does an actual reality as an outer experience, and uses it as memory to form its programming. The imagined memory programs the subconscious mind with new patterns that become our perceptual lens and connects us to those same types of emotional patterns in our environment, magnetizing us to them. By imagining an idea with strong sensations, incorporates that idea as a modification to our overall mental programming as our paradigm, giving you a new way of perceiving things and new behaviors for creating and cooperatively participating in that reality as an actual experience or possibility. We naturally begin anticipating more of those same types of experiences, setting an expectation for them, and being able to create more experiences out of them by how we perceive and interpret things. We only pull out of any situation the elements that can be reshaped into our pattern as a storyline by how we interpret it to give it meaning and significance and use it as the basis for telling our story about it, while ignoring anything that doesn’t fit in.

 
If you simply sit and observe your own thoughts for awhile, you’ll notice that most of them came from some form of outer source. Even the ones that form your paradigm as the thematic storyline you’re always telling yourself about things, probably came to you through something that was said to you, some movie or video you watched, the lyrics of a song, an article you read, an idea you studied, or something you learned in school. Most of our thoughts come as suggestions from others that we continue developing by how we think about them and evolve them through various life situations or stages, and acquire them as our own, constructing our paradigm by way of them.

 

Dr. Linda Gadbois

Spiritual Development

Personal Transformation

About the author:
Dr. Linda is a Spiritual Scientist and scholar of Hermetic Sciences and Ancient Wisdom traditions. She’s a professional educator and trainer for all areas of personal transformation, self-creation, mind development, and soul/spiritual evolution. She practices Integrative Medicine with a special emphasis on Psychology and Creative therapies. She conducts ongoing classes, Playshops, and Adventure Seminars, and is available for private or group training, mentoring, and speaking engagements.
To inquire, click here

Our Network of Relationships Form Holding Patterns of Consciousness

“The Matrix of Relationships we Maintain keeps us in the Level of Consciousness we were in when we Established them”

yin yang geometry
As we grow and become adults, we steadily form relationships along the way that are at once expressed patterns as an exploration of consciousness and ways of being in the world, that connect us to those patterns, often preventing us from growing beyond them. This not only strengthens and amplifies the quality of consciousness that both people share in common when the relationship is formed, but also holds us to that pattern as a level of consciousness. Because of this, once people have developed an interactive and supportive network of relationships, and they look at growing, healing, or developing themselves in new ways or to a higher degree, the relationship either acts to pull them back or hold them to the dynamic established in the relationship, or it no longer serves to naturally support and encourage the growth. For the most part, people want us to remain the way we’ve always been.

 
This is readily evident by anyone “changing their ways” by correcting bad behaviors, only to have their own family or friends not believe them, not trust it, and even when the old behaviors don’t naturally reoccur, they’ll act intentionally to provoke it. This is both frustrating and often confusing. People often change because they believe that’s what the people they love want, only to have it reestablished by those same people. This is because relationships are based on dynamic interactive patterns that act out a type of story or drama together. When one person changes and no longer cooperates in playing a complementary role, the relationship tends to not work anymore. They don’t know how to be in relationship with you any more. The pattern as a story the relationship was providing, now broken, the people in the relationship don’t know how to act to tell a new story together, and so they either lose interest in each other, or move on to someone who can tell the new story with them.

breaking tiesMany people actually realize this, and as a result refrain from any type of real growth because they don’t want to lose their relationships. But of course, some people have a deep compulsion towards growth and a courageous desire to heal themselves, and so choose to grow past relationships while anticipating new ones. They don’t really see an ‘option’ involved but rather a necessity. They become comfortable with change and accept it as an unavoidable part of an evolutionary flow.

 
This fact coupled with our society teaching us that once we’re married or establish long term relationships, that they should be “kept forever” or are a life-time agreement can send the further message that growth is not a good thing, and in many cases, even wrong or bad to do. Of course the ideal scenario is to enter into relationship with someone that we truly become one and they grow with us. Where we act to stimulate, encourage, and participate in the same type of growth. Because nothing acts to transform us like relationships, they should be seen and used intentionally for this purpose. Our true purpose as human beings is to undergo a steady and continuous form of transformation as self-development throughout our life. We’re not meant to become trained and habituated to a comfortable and mundane existence that seems content to be comfortable while passing time.

 
In our journey of personal transformation to become the best we can be, we need to take an attitude of only associating with those of a like mind who act naturally to stimulate our growth and bring us spontaneously into higher levels of awareness becoming more fully awake in our life. In order to use them as the tool they are, we have to gain awareness around the nature of our relationships and what effect they’re producing in us or what level of consciousness they’ll hold us to. Nothing is more important than our personal growth which simultaneously develops and evolves our soul. Our soul only grows by acquiring experience through the body which becomes memory.

mental energy
To begin participating consciously in our own growth and evolution is to become aware of our eternal self who also resides in us, and birth it within us by allowing it to take the lead and guide us into a higher form of experience that heals our insecurities and addictions, allowing us to become more of who we actually are. Anytime we stop growing, we begin dying. We waste this precious opportunity called life, and lay it to waste instead. Every human beings ultimate goal is to attain their own Nobility by developing their full potential for expression. Our ultimate goal is to develop ourselves to a high morality and virtuous state by recognizing our souls design as our true nature, and form a lifetime commitment to express our full potential. What we love and have desire for, along with our natural gifts, talents, and special abilities create our unique design providing us with everything we need to fulfill what we’re meant to do. It’s what shows us our life’s path which naturally fulfills our true destiny. But we have to choose it, and willingly participate in it’s creation as the means to self-create by way of the same actions.

 
Who we associate with influences us to be like them. Birds of the same feather flock together. We are ‘like’ the people we maintain ongoing relationships with. We can only create and maintain relationships with those we relate to – those of the same quality and level of consciousness. Those that we form relationship with at one stage in our life who don’t evolve with us or in the same manner, we let go of while steadily moving into new relationships that reflect our growth to a different way of being.

 
Marriage, in the true sense, is where two people blend in body, mind, and spirit and become ‘as one’, literally. Because they act as a single unit, they grow and evolve together through their shared life experiences. The desire of one is also the desire of the other. They share the same nature and are of the same ‘soul’. But unfortunately, that’s not what happens most of the time and marriages like any relationship have a time-frame involved as its life span. This time frame typically falls between 5 and 8 years, because humans tend to grow and evolve in 7 year increments as a general rule of thumb. Even relationships that stay together once the fires gone because of children or shared situations, usually die in the most basic sense within this time frame. The ones that truly become one and grow together through life can maintain the fire burning for as long as they both live while their love for each other steadily deepens.

sprouting hearts

So take a close look at the relationships in your life that you participate in on a regular basis and reflect on the effect each relationship has on you, and what effect you have on them. When you interact with certain people, how does it affect or change your mood? What do you tend to talk about? How does it make you feel to be with them? What qualities and traits do they bring out in you? What type of activities do you do together? And once you get a good idea of the real nature of the relationship, simply ask yourself, do you like how it makes you feel, what it keeps you focused on, the activities you engage in, and the kind of person you become by way of the interaction itself? Set a policy with yourself that you’ll only maintain healthy and nourishing relationships that make you feel good about yourself, while letting go of unhealthy, emotionally toxic, and stressful relationships that leave you not liking yourself.

 

Dr. Linda Gadbois

Evolutionary Relationships

Transformational Coaching

 

lgAbout the author:
Dr. Linda is a Spiritual Scientist and scholar of Hermetic Sciences and Ancient Wisdom traditions. She’s a professional educator and trainer for all areas of personal transformation, self-creation, mind development, and soul/spiritual evolution. She practices Integrative Medicine with a special emphasis on Psychology and Creative therapies. She conducts ongoing classes, Playshops, and Adventure Seminars, and is available for private or group training, mentoring, and speaking engagements.
To inquire, click here

 

 

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The Transformative Power of Relationships and how to Create Healthy Ones

Of all the areas of our life that effect us the deepest and with the greatest range of possibilities, our relationships rate the highest. This is true not only in our relationships with other people, but more importantly, in our relationship with ourselves. The relationship we form with ourselves determines how we enter into relationship with everyone and everything else in our lives. The very foundation of life itself and all areas of self-creation and lifestyle are formed by how we relate to everything around us. Relationships are the greatest tools there are for transformation. When we know how to use them as tools for creating a healthy and fulfilling lifestyle, we embrace our true power and it ignites our life.

Of all the areas of our life and relationships we employ and develop, the ones that affect us the most while having the greatest transformative ability, is romantic-sexual relationships. These relationships bring us the greatest fulfillment and happiness, or the greatest stress and misery. Some start with a bang then fizzle quickly. Others build gradually, establishing the friendship aspect first that then deepens through the trust that’s established and moves naturally into much more intimate experiences. Others can start off romantic and evolve into more of a platonic, roommate situation that while the love may still be strong leaves you longing for romance, affection and sexual intimacy. Still others can come as an intense encounter of some kind that’s strange and somewhat perverted or twisted that’s also strangely gripping and magnetic . . .at least . . . for awhile.

Yet nothing serves more directly to shape us than our relationships with family and key people in our lives, whether good or bad. And at the same time, no other area of our life are we completely lacking in education and practical know-how and left virtually fending for ourselves with only the relationship modeled to us by our parents to guide us. No one actually teaches us about the nature of romantic encounters and how to have relationships outside of our friends (who are as clueless as we are) and the occasional lecture that comes usually when we’ve done something wrong or already experienced our first heartbreak.

oh god
Most of us are simply conditioned to the relationships being demonstrated for us by our parents or extended family members, where we were also developed by interacting with that same family dynamic which set’s us up for similar types of relationships and experiences. In psychology we say, we usually become one of our parents and marry the other one. Usually by the time we’re teenagers and beginning to explore sexual relationships, we’ve already been conditioned to the primary relationship dynamic that we’ll spend the rest of our life repeating. Even when we become aware of the consistency that starts emerging, with periodic events that bring shocking insights into the nature of things or underlying emotions and agenda’s that become apparent in a way that we can no longer deny or explain away by telling ourselves a story about them that justifies them, we can still feel powerless to change them.

Every once in a while, people and situations come together that are truly meant for each other, and form real love for each other, and create a very positive influence on each other in their lives together, while having an attitude of growing together through their life experiences that they always approach as “us” and “we”. They see all of life as happening to “them” as a single-unit, and pull together and support each other through tough times, and grow in their love and respect for each other as a result. Some people are fortunate enough to have healthy relationships modeled to them by their parents, or have their parents openly and intelligently teach them about relationships and how to most appropriately conduct them.

mature couple
The biggest key for learning how to remain fully conscious (awake) in relationships, whether romantic or other wise, is to recognize your own tendencies in relationship with others, how you act “on them” to establish certain ideas and through your interaction bring out specific traits in them in response to you. Many times what we see as something they’re doing to us, is actually brought on by something we did to them that initiated a cause and effect pattern. Then, once its starts, we don’t know how to stop it or recant, and can’t seem to control our emotions which sabotage it even further. Naturally once you do or say certain things, there’s no turning back. They can’t unhear something that they’ve heard or felt. Even if forgiveness is offered, they never really forget, but simply push it to the background where it sits and festers until it starts coming up, more and more frequently as time passes until it becomes precedence. While we can say anything to someone, and think we’re doing it convincingly, we can’t hide the look in our eyes which is the window to our soul that always reveals how we’re feeling.

If we can learn to control that glazed over feeling of being ‘twitter-pated’ that takes place in the beginning as ‘love at first sight’ that marks the beginning of the “romantic phase”, and pay attention to the red-flags that begin popping up without explaining them away, and pay close attention to how we’re feeling in terms of how they stimulate us and what they bring out in us as a result, we can keep a clear idea about how the relationship is going to naturally act to develop us. Whatever mood we form when being with and around them that’s naturally created through the nature of the interaction or the feeling presence that they emanate that we’re always sensing, we can see how they’ll act to condition us to that same mind-set and attitude. People always act on each other to make the other person like them. We can’t help it. It comes from our mental and emotional paradigm that forms our behavior and how we act and treat other people. There’s always a form of persuasion and negotiation going on.

As a general rule, you should avoid any relationship that makes you feel bad in some way, brings you down by being around them, always reflects negatively on other people of situations, or stresses you out and invokes negative emotions on a routine basis. Don’t enter into and maintain relationships that bring out in you you’re worst traits. Over time these traits will become dominant and form habitual perceptions. When the red-flags come up, don’t glaze over or dismiss them, but openly acknowledge and talk about them. When weird behaviors begin coming out here and there, realize that you’re seeing something about the individual they normally hide. If you notice them but choose to ignore them, they tend to become a major issue further into the relationship, and you’ll kick yourself because you knew it was there all along. Realize that the emotional component in a relationship is the most important and will ultimately make or break the relationship.

disagreement
The most important component of any relationship, but especially of romantic-sexual-intimate relationships is trust. This forms the foundation that everything else relies on, especially the level of intimacy reached and how they respond to each other sexually. Trust must be established and maintained right from the beginning. Once trust is broken, it will never be fully established again. This is what I call a ‘fine line’ that once crossed, marks the beginning of the end. It creates a turning point in the relationship where things start noticeably changing never to be the same again. Even when forgiveness is implied, the thought and feeling never really goes away. It’s better to come clean with something you’ve done that you’re not proud of or know will upset them, rather than hide it or lie about it, only to be discovered later where it becomes lying, deceiving and betraying.

Also realize that when somebody accuses you of something that you haven’t actually done and is not in your character to do, it not only shows you what their issues are, but also what they have a tendency towards themselves. Learn how psychology works in terms of whatever it is we’re doing we assume or suspect the other person is doing as well. We project onto other people what’s actually in us (as patterns) that we’re in denial of somehow and not owning. What we “see” in others (how we interpret their behavior) that produces a strong emotional reaction in us, is showing us aspects of ourselves and what our own tendencies are that we normally remain largely unaware of. This is easy to see when you’ve not only haven’t done what they’re accusing you of, but it’s not within you to do that, and so you feel surprised or dismayed when they accuse you of it. You may even feel somewhat confused by it or realize that they don’t even actually know you. This is what lets you know that it’s “their stuff”. If however you have done it, and hid it for whatever reason, then you need to see it as “your tendency” and work with it accordingly.

Relationships have the power they do because they stimulate in us complementary aspects that aren’t normally being stimulated and called forth, and mirror back to us our own character. Romantic and intimate relationships tend to immediately bring our deepest issues right to the foreground, and we find ourselves dealing with parts of ourselves that we didn’t really know for sure we had. Nothing makes us more vulnerable or represents the greatest possibly of loss, than love. It’s either what heals us through another, or what further traumatizes us. Because we have a natural predisposition to play out all of our conditioned tendencies in our relationships that we’re not fully aware of, and so they remain active and creative in our life, by realizing this and seeing it for the healing and personal growth it truly offers, we can grow exponentially by way of our personal relationships.

happy hug
Many people live with the belief that in order to heal yourself of your own hidden aspects you have to endlessly rehash them, go over and over what happened to you that caused them through some form of therapy, but actually, this isn’t true. In fact, this type of therapy usually only acts to seat the problem deeper by reliving it and continuing to identify with it. The plain truth is all we really need to do is become fully aware of what our tendencies are without needing to justify them (what we argue to defend is ours to keep), self-reflect and gain realization around how we do it, and what tends to stimulate it, and actively choose not to do it anymore while simultaneously deciding what we’re going to do instead.

All unconscious (or semi-conscious) tendencies are patterns we’ve been conditioned with that have themes in them, usually something like: rejection, abandonment, betrayal, not being good enough, and so on. These themes form the stories we live out as if they’re real and true. They’re a form of illusion as an imagined (and often embellished) memory or handful of memories that forms our perceptual lens and reshapes what is in fact objective, neutral reality by selecting only the components that can be used to tell our story by how we combine them and interpret the behaviors others are displaying. A person whose theme is rejection for example, can interpret just about any behavior to mean they’re “being rejected”. Our perception ‘is’ an interpretation as the ‘meaning’ we give things by the story we tell about them. While we transform everyone else to fit into our story, we also tend to think others are seeing and living out of the same story as a reality that we are, when in fact, they’re doing the same thing, and have a whole different story going on than we do. Everybody’s walking around in the same outer reality which provides the elements they rearrange by way of the inner reality they’re actually living out of by how they’re creating their experience moment by moment as they go through the day.

By realizing this and intentionally taking a detached or disassociated perspective while self-reflecting, we can identify our own story as the basic idea we’re always using to interpret everything giving it the meaning it has for us. Nothing means anything until we make it mean something by the story we tell about it. All of reality as a personal experience is reformulated in our mind by how we perceive it as an interpretation. This basic psychological process forms all outer neutral realities into inner subjective realities of our own making. The mind is a reality generating machine. We are subject to our own reality as our creation, because our mental model is what created it, and we have natural behaviors we systematically employ as routine and habitual tendencies that act to stimulate and form that same reality for others by how we communicate and interact with them.

Through self-awareness and learning to recognize our own story always playing in our head and heart, and what tendencies they promote, as well as what acts to trigger them, we can not only control our reactions when being triggered, but when we start into the behaviors themselves we catch ourselves doing it, and in that moment of realization as to what we’re actually doing that we normally remain unaware of, we realize we have a choice as to what to do instead. We can choose a new response to an old stimulus and employ new behaviors that break old patterns and begin forming new ones. We can choose with full awareness what type of story we’re going to tell by how we act and how we live our lives. When we move from an unconscious habitual state into a conscious and creative state we heal ourselves through self-induced transformation.


The biggest key to cultivating healthy relationships is by recognizing your own tendencies as “issues” and complexes, and through this awareness “choose” to give up your story and your need to defend your right to have it, which keeps you identifying with it, and choose to live a new kind of story instead. Self-reflect and recognize your own character flaws or tendencies that are destructive and hurtful, and work ‘on’ your self to transform them into positive traits that are creative and health promoting. Only by correcting in yourself the issues you tend to act out in relationships will you not only be able to attract a new kind of partner (that’s living the same pattern) but also won’t be unconsciously acting in a way that stimulates that old pattern in them. It’s only by working on healing and growing ourselves that we’re able to form new and healthy relationships. If we see ourselves as innocent while putting the blame for the relationship going bad on others, then nothing changes. We keep attracting and being attracted to the same type of people who are living out the same type of story with complementary roles in the same type of behaviors. This is like doing the same thing over and over while expecting a different result.

 

When we work on ourselves and develop ourselves in new ways while letting go of the past and healing ourselves of psychological patterns, we’re no longer attracted or attractive to the same kind of people. We’re no longer stimulated by them. We don’t feel any chemistry with them or get easily drawn into their melodramas. The old triggers simply don’t affect us any more. They’re easy to walk away from and no longer create an instant engagement. Once we decide how we want to grow and what type of story we want to live, and we develop the necessary character to tell that story, we’ll start forming an attraction to different kinds of people. We’ll act to stimulate them in new ways, and they us, and a whole new reality will be birthed thru the transformation itself.

The process for beginning your healing transformation will go something like this:

 

 • Self-reflect on your own tendencies in relationships (past or present), and what issues tend to become prevalent for either one of you, what behavioral pattern formed in the relationship, and what it seemed to be about as it played out. What issues kept coming up?

• Identify your own theme that you’re always living out of that becomes played out in your relationships as a co-creation. Such as: feeling rejected or not wanted, not loved or cared for, betrayed, abused, abandoned, cheating, excessive drama, and so on.

• Recognize your own part in creating that pattern. What behaviors started taking place between you and them that formed that pattern? How are you acting to support it?

• Recognize what feelings and emotions tend to trigger undesired or destructive and damaging behaviors. What events take place that acts to first start forming the pattern? Such as: you catch them in a lie, or you lie to them, they talk to you in a condescending manner, they attack or turn on you for no reason, they openly flirt with somebody else in front of you, they start (or you) accusing you of something, they belittle you, correct you a lot, or even physically strike you or you them, you fight a lot, and so on.

• Gain realization around your own attachments to the story being played out in terms of how you identify with the meaning of your own story about things, and be willing to quit needing to tell that story. Then decide what type of story you want to tell instead with the awareness that it’s going to make you feel different about yourself, and may seem awkward or “not true” at first. You may become aware that you really don’t know how to feel different or tell a different type of story. But get clear on how you want to shape yourself through a new story and keep working at it. Conditioning comes through steady practice.

• What character traits would you need to develop in yourself in order to naturally tell the new story? How would you have to be? What traits do you currently possess that would act to prevent it and how do you need to transform them into positive and supportive traits? What emotions would you need to embody to create the right state of mind? How would you need to behave and conduct yourself? Determine what these are and again gain clarity around them while practicing them until they become natural.

• If you find yourself falling back into old behaviors, stop as soon as you realize it, withdraw from the situation before you begin creating out of it, and self-reflect on what’s happening inside of you and why. Gain realization around whatever it is you still haven’t resolved and willingly let go of it, while continuing to practice until relapses diminish.

• Make a vow to yourself that you’re going to always honor your own intuition and when red-flags come up or strange feelings, you won’t ignore them or explain them away, but penetrate and investigate them instead. Decide you’re not willing to compromise things that are important to you.

 

• Set standards for yourself and others for the relationship, and do not compromise or negotiate them away once you get into the relationship. Identify what are “deal-breakers” and if they should become apparent or start to arise, don’t stay in the relationship. It won’t be good.

• Identify what parts of yourself you want to grow and develop, and what states of mind and traits you want to strengthen and condition yourself to, and cultivate and maintain only relationships that stimulate and influence you in those ways. Let go of any relationship that’s negative, toxic, abusive, dysfunctional, or mentally and emotionally painful. Do not stay in relationships that destroy your self-esteem.

 

These basic practices may seem like a lot to do all at once, but what you’ll find is that they’re interlaced, and one will naturally lead to the next forming a whole process. The object of this process, as with any healing process, is self-awareness, and self-realization. You want to shed light on all areas of your self that are currently shadowed, areas where you’re not aware of what you’re actually doing and the reason you’re doing it that come about more through automatic behaviors that are triggered emotionally. We don’t ever have control over other people, but we have full control over ourselves. While we can’t change other people, we can always change ourselves and thereby change how they respond and interact with us. By changing ourselves to be the person we want to be we find that the relationships in our life changes accordingly.

Relationships of all kinds hold us to interactive patterns that were established in the relationship itself. When we change and grow and others don’t, the relationship tends to pull us back into the old way of being. People seldom let us transcend our past but act instead to hold us to it. You have to realize this and be prepared for it so it doesn’t catch you off guard or you fail to see it for what it really is. Relationships that don’t grow with you or naturally stimulate in you you’re new way of being and support it through the nature of the interaction will “leave your life” or simply fade into the background while new ones begin emerging with new people who share the new pattern and ways of being are established that foster your growth and act naturally to promote it through the nature of your interaction.

 

Dr. Linda Gadbois

Transformational Coaching

Evolutionary Relationships

 

lgAbout the author:
Dr. Linda is a Spiritual Scientist and scholar of Hermetic Sciences and Ancient Wisdom traditions. She’s a professional educator and trainer for all areas of personal transformation, self-creation, mind development, and soul/spiritual evolution. She practices Integrative Medicine with a special emphasis on Psychology and Creative therapies. She conducts ongoing classes, Playshops, and Adventure Seminars, and is available for private or group training, mentoring, and speaking engagements.
To inquire, click here

 

Karma – “The Unconscious Motivation that Drives Behavior”

human dna
Many people either take a very simple approach to the idea of karma, or are somewhat confused about it altogether and therefore doesn’t know what to think about it for sure. We’ve been taught to invest a great deal in the idea of surface appearances, or appraising the exterior behavior itself as a form of “what you put out, you get back”, or what goes around comes around, indicating that we get done unto us, through the same type of behavior, what we have done unto others. Yet this can be very misleading in the most basic sense, because it fails to recognize the quality of consciousness behind our behaviors that act to motivate them. The behavior or act itself, while it does engage us in a purely cause and effect relationship that can render both immediate and long term consequences, the actual karma that’s being played out comes by way of the “quality of consciousness” as a form of memory that forms a perception as an interpretation that serves to motivate (cause) the action we take in response to it as a behavior of some sort.

 
While the behavior itself, within the context of a certain situation or set of circumstances are largely based on exterior stimulus of some sort, and pertain to the individual(s) involved and how they enter into relationship with one another and act to awaken certain qualities within each other, it’s the potential “in us” being activated and called forth in the moment, that we are expressing “out of” by behaving as a tendency or personality trait, that’s the basis for the actual karma involved, that’s being incurred and created all in the same act.

 
Karma exists as memory of some sort that has a pattern of “action – reaction” inherent in it that exists in us as a natural tendency that’s largely unconscious, meaning, we’ve created an illusion around it as a story we tell ourselves about it or out of it, that justifies and explains it, making us not fully aware of it in actual terms. Which means we don’t realize it for what it really is, and don’t “own it” as a result. Because of this, we continue to act it out in numerous ways through a variety of behaviors.
All perception in the ultimate sense is actually memory that’s being used as an interpretive device to create our experience of something. All perception stems from making a direct association with something in the present to something in the past, or a feeling that’s being stimulated that has a memory inherent in it, that we reference and pull up in our imagination and use as a form of mental template to interpret the current situation to mean the same thing as the past situation as a means of experiencing it, that prompts the same pattern, causing us to react in a similar way. We repeat the same patterns of meaning over-and-over in an automatic and habitual manner as a form of storyline, which acts to interpret a neutral situation or other’s people behavior in a similar manner, which serves to form a consistent theme as our overall life story. Karma, as the soul’s accumulated memory, forms a dynamic and intrinsic network of coherent beliefs as a larger theme that forms smaller patterns of the same nature as fractal patterns (offspring) that express the same attitude and perspective necessary to tell a consistent story. This is the real nature of karma that eludes most people because they don’t understand what it actually is, in terms of being a part of our basic character that we express in many ways throughout all areas of our life (lives).

 
In order to be hostile or rude and abrupt to people, causing an adverse reaction, you have to be of the type of character which spontaneously behaves that way, while telling yourself a story about it that makes it not only okay, but entirely appropriate somehow. Then when others react by embodying the same emotional attitude, and treat us the same way, we use that to justify our attitude in the first place, usually without ever realizing that we were the one that created it by how we first acted that warranted a direct reaction of the same nature. People who have “abandonment issues” for example, often produce the very behaviors that cause them to get abandoned, without ever realizing it, or may have a tendency to act in ways that abandon others first, causing a like reaction, while justifying or perceiving their behavior in a way that doesn’t warrant the reaction they get, and so they feel they’re innocent and it’s being done “to them” instead. So they continue to repeat the same patterns, which simply reinforce them, causing them to become more and more identified with them, without direct awareness of the fact that they’re actually creating it. This is how karma actually plays out in our life in a major way.

patterns

So the behavior being employed is not the karma itself, but rather what’s motivating the behavior as a perception based on an interpretation, as a mental filter that’s actually producing the karma by expressing through it, as a natural tendency. Our behavior is a natural function of the subconscious mind, which is emotionally driven and a primary product of memory. The subconscious needs a memory as a pattern for function that’s performed through the style inherent in the personality, which is also of the subconscious mind. Our behavior is so natural to us, that for the most part, we lack any direct awareness of it, but are always in the experience of it through what we’re busy telling ourselves as a constant stream of internal dialogue. We can however, become self-aware by observing our own natural tendencies, by disassociating ourselves as always being directly “in” the experience, and watch ourselves instead as if we’re watching someone else, while quieting all the stories we’re telling ourselves about why we’re doing something, and view ourselves objectively, as we would another person. View ourselves within a scenario as a movie, where we’re not the main star, but rather as one of the characters that’s apart of a larger story.

 
So in order to identify your own karma, anytime you are reacting in anyway, stop and self-reflect on the nature of the reaction, what emotions have been stimulated in you that are causing the reaction, and what memories are associated to the emotion in terms of what you’re referencing, accessing, calling forth from the past into the present, and using to interpret the present to mean the same thing by the story your form out of it through the feeling it gives you, and how you react or respond accordingly. Also, notice in all your own actions in relationships of various sorts, what is the underlying motive behind all your behaviors towards them? What is it that you are secretly trying to create by how you’re interacting? What behaviors are you embodying as a means of living out a certain type of story that’s designed to elicit a specific type of response in the other or in group situations?
Always self-reflect on what quality of consciousness as a form of operation as an agenda that you are feeling at any given time, that’s acting to motivate your behavior in some way. In this, you’ll begin to recognize your own karma as a mode of operation (pattern) that’s a quality of consciousness based out of memory of some form, whether it be in this lifetime or another, the memory is experienced as a feeling that activates a whole thought-process as an expression of it. The thought-process is a story that indicates certain behavior as the natural enactment of it, that serves to create out of it as a thematic reality, that consistently forms the same type of story and warrants the same type of response, that recreates the same type of experiences over and over, that ultimately govern your life by becoming major themes out of which you form your life story as a congruent form of inner dialogue that you project on to others, and live out as if it’s true . . . which of course, creates it, and thereby makes it true!

 
Dr. Linda Gadbois